Guerilla Motivation
by
William Amos
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PUBLISHED BY:
William Amos on Smashwords
Guerilla Motivation
Copyright © 2010 by William Amos
All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
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Guerilla Motivation
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Mr. Leary is a temporary employee at our company, InterCity Office Supply. Unlike most “temps,” he has neither visible tattoos nor signs of neglected illness. Rather, he carries himself with the dignity of an economist who has donned workers’ garb to see if labor conditions really match up with all those books he’s been writing.
For most of the workday Mr. Leary sits quietly in his gray cubicle, intent on some data-entry task. Our only contact with him comes at lunchtime. Downstairs, at the Just Eat It! cafeteria, we find him waiting with his sack lunch, ready to begin a half-hour of enlightening conversation.
Not long ago we were gathered at his table when the Accounts Payable guy strutted out of the food line. A small trophy cup mounted on a square black base was perched on his tray. The replica Greek krater with volute handles (as Mr. Leary identified it) was no more than four inches tall, but Accounts Payable carried it as if it held the ashes of Alexander the Great.
“What’s that crater with volatile handles for?” asked the woman from Customer Support.
“It’s an award I got for automating the AP system on the computer,” said Accounts Payable. “Now we can do double the transactions with half the work. I did such a great job, my manager gave me this trophy. See the writing on the base? ‘Top Notch Work’.
“It’s an award,” he repeated.
“And a fine one it is,” Mr. Leary said graciously. “Congratulations on your achievement.” We all gave AP a light patter of applause.
“You wouldn’t believe how hard it was to get it right,” Accounts Payable said. “Every time we almost got the process done some manager came up with a new – “
“I’ve often wondered what motivates employees to stretch beyond themselves,” mused Mr. Leary. “Is it the promise of a trinket from the dollar store or the loyalty one feels toward one's company? Rewards, or a larger sense of purpose? My nephew, Cliff Leary, once worked for –“
“I was talking about my award,” said Accounts Payable.
“My nephew Cliff,” Mr. Leary continued quietly but firmly, “once worked for a company that was actually in the motivation business. And because of his experience there, I’ve concluded that the employees’ morale determines whether good work gets done – or things go terribly wrong.”
“Tell us about your award later,” I said to AP.
#
Cliff Leary arrived in Burlington, Vermont, [Mr. Leary began] with a master’s degree in English Literature and a desire to put it to good use. Rewards & Results, Inc., his new employer, was a model of the motivated workplace. This little company of 55 employees created motivational trinkets to sell to a dispirited nationwide workforce. At the helm was the famed empowerment speaker Bob Monahan, that prophet ... who am I thinking of? That Elmer Gantry of market economics. In the 1990s Bob had traveled the globe preaching that change is good, a positive force in workers' lives. Great things were just around the corner, he promised them, if only they believed in themselves and in the proven wisdom of the Market.
“Challenges change lives!” Bob would exclaim to his fans. “Opportunity is in the air! Attune yourself to it! We are in a period of phenomenal growth, ladies and gentlemen; the world is yours! Do you want wealth? Power? Achievement?”
“Yes! Yes!” the crowds would roar.
Caught up in the frenzy of speaking, his mind reached back to a small book he had read in some distant hotel room a long time before.
“The world is a big laboratory maze, and you are a mouse! Somebody takes your cheese from its usual spot and plops it down someplace else! What do you do? Sit and whimper?”
“No!”
“Grieve after that cheese?”
“No!”
“The cheese was moved for a reason! The Market sensed that the old spot was too safe, too easy to get to! It picked up that cheese and put it in a better spot – a spot where it would challenge the motivated mice to reach beyond themselves and move to higher heights! Are you that kind of mouse?!”
“Yes!” The halls shook with the force of the exclamation. Several women were seen speaking in tongues.
And so it went, a succession of revival tent meetings for believers who yearned for the Promised Land of easy money and expensive automobiles. Bob soon became a wealthy man.
Then came the real estate meltdown, sub-prime mortgages, Collateralized Debt Obligations, and other smelly bits of economic cheese. Bob lost his fan base and a large amount of money. Over time, though he still talked of mice and cheese, he found less in the metaphor to excite him. His cheese moved to Vermont, and he liked it there.
Cliff Leary worked in Rewards & Results' Motivational Posters department. His job was to write compelling, inspirational messages that would then be paired with compelling, inspirational images created by Charlotte Urkenrath, herself newly graduated from college with a degree in graphic arts. Together they created posters of exceptional quality. One of their best-selling works depicted an eagle in flight against a sapphire-blue sky. Its caption said:
SOARING
Fly! Let your dreams carry you to new heights. Fly!
Their partnership flourished. Soon they became celebrated in their field. The International Academy of Motivational Manufacturers, Artists, and Developers awarded them the Velvet Glove for their “Get In Gear” line of posters.
The world loved Cliff. He worked for a great company, his skill with words was appreciated, and his work partner was intelligent and beautiful. He often gazed at her at the drafting table, red hair cascading down her shoulders and dragging in the eraser crumbs. He had never been happier. Only one thing could make him happier.
Like all Learys a man of action, Cliff started a new poster with a simple message, minus the illustration:
LOVE
Life is better together than apart.
He handed it to Charlotte with an offhand “Hey, Char. See what you can do with this.” She worked quietly for an hour or two, then laid the new poster on his desk. She had mounted an enlarged photograph of herself and Cliff from last summer’s company softball game and added a single word to Cliff’s caption:
Yes.
They made plans to marry in August.
[“That is so sweet,” Customer Support sighed.]
Bob thought so, too. He ordered everyone to a nearby park for a party. He supplied the hamburgers and hot dogs and had a keg of beer brought in. The employees brought salads, chips, and desserts. It was free and spontaneous, done just for the joy of it.
“What a great day this is for Rewards & Results!” Bob roared from the top of a picnic table. “This is a first! We’ve never had a couple meet, marry, and – we hope – grow old together in the company! Maybe one day you’ll have a little 'poster child' who’ll come to work for Rewards & Results!”
People living along the edge of the park were on the verge of calling the police, the cheering was so loud.
#
“Really, sweetie, I think a sailboat in the middle of a rough sea is what we need for this one,” Charlotte said. “I just don’t feel right about the dog.”
She and Cliff were working on a new masterpiece, a poster on the theme COURAGE.
“I read about a dog once who pulled a bunch of children out of a burning double-wide trailer,” Cliff said. “I think that’s pretty courageous.”
“Sure it is, Cliffy, but I’m looking for something more universal, more majestic than a pooch. Something like ... a lion. There you go. A proud lion standing on a rocky ledge, kinda like The Lion King.”
“Good. And the caption,” said Cliff, “should be about the lion’s qualities applied to the world of business. Standing up for your ideals, doing the right thing even when Wall Street says you’re wrong ... ”
“You’re kidding, aren’t you?”
“Yeah. But how about being bold? Assertive?”
The discussion went on like this for hours with a Yanni CD playing in the background to discourage coworkers from barging in. Cliff wrote a simple phrase and Charlotte created an image to go with it. Then Cliff adjusted the wording and Charlotte changed the image to suit the words better. This dialog hummed along until the poster was born.
“What the – “
Charlotte noticed a stranger watching them from the doorway. He was gone in an instant, but not before they got a glimpse of his features: blond, close-cropped hair; icy blue eyes and sensuous thick lips. They watched the man walk among the cubicles and meet up with Bob near the front door. He appeared to hold a kind of psychic sway over all whose paths he crossed. Conversations stopped. Jokes died in mid-punchline. More than one computer crashed. But most striking of all was Bob’s manner in the stranger's presence; he spoke in respectful whispers and seemed almost to bow when the man turned to leave.