When Love Triumphs
By Miriam G Pourciau
Copyright 2011 Miriam G Pourciau
Smashwords Edition
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Coping with MS and Living Life to the Fullest
Grad School for the Second Time
The setting for this book is in a small town in Southern California. This is a story about a girl who was always bullied and the life-altering effects of the bullying. It is also a story of how she defied the odds that doctors had given her. This girl has gone through so much and she has quite the story to tell.
The year is 2026, it is late spring. The weather is warming up and the humid air smothers the air, making it hard to breath. This is the story of her life, how she overcame an eating disorder, sexual abuse, physical abuse, falling in love, different jobs she has had and experiences in her life that have happened.
You will probably need a tissue for some parts of this story. This story is like a rollercoaster story. Her life has had ups and has had downs and especially some curves and flips along the way. The story will start from the beginning (her beginning) and what she has overcome; the impossible. Of course, she couldn’t do or get over anything if it weren’t for God being right there to help her. She will take her experiences both good and bad and help other people by counseling them. I won’t tell you anymore of the story; you will just have to read the rest of the book.
It is now 2026, and Rosa is in front of a room full of women at a conference. She is about to give her final speech of her tour. She has been a counselor for 10 years and is well-known. She is on a tour sharing her life story; her last place in her tour is the town she grew up in. As she was wheeled into the room the memories come flooding back. The MC introduces her “Please welcome Rosa Hemlock”. The crowd cheered as she was wheeled onto the stage.
“Hi everyone, I am Rosa Hemlock, and I have a story to share, after I finish my story you can ask questions and if you are going through something similar I am here to talk to you afterwards. I have a clear schedule so I can take as much time as you all need.”
She has everyone’s undivided attention. She is very nervous mainly because she grew up in this small town and she knew quite a few people that were there. As she sits there in front of the crowded auditorium she starts to think back to her earliest memory. “Now that I have everyone’s attention let’s get started, here is my story.”
I was born in this town in 1974; I was a very sick baby and was not expected to live, I spend the first three months of my life in NICU. I beat the odds and got better. My entire childhood was about beating the odds. My childhood was a rollercoaster childhood. I had lots of ups and downs; friends came and friends left. As I look back on my childhood, I would not change a thing. As much I have endured; it made me what I am today.
I had a wonderful family even when we weren’t getting along, my sisters and I were very close, and we had each other’s backs at school. I would need them during school due to certain things that were happening. I was being bullied, and I was weak and little. The bullying started at kindergarten and progressively got worse over the entire twelve grades.
The things the bullies would do to me were unimaginable, they stuffed me in a locker, they poured live bees down my blouse; which I was extremely allergic to and would take the cotton stuffing of the bus seats and shove it down my throat. I don’t know why they just kept bullying me like that. It was like I had a sign on my back, BULLY TARGET. That is just the way it felt, but still as much as I hated it, I couldn’t help but forgive every one of them.
I don’t know how many days I came home crying because of the tormenting. My sisters would comfort me the best they could. I was growing more and more depressed. I felt so unloved and unworthy of love. My parents caught on to this depression and asked me what was wrong, I would just get mad and say “nothing, I am FINE”. Who was I trying to fool; they knew me better than that. I was always a bubbly person when I was at home.
I felt so blessed to have wonderful sisters that loved me and parents that loved me, if it wasn’t for them I would surely not have been where I am today. They brought me up and always took me to church, and taught me good values. They also taught me how to forgive. Both sides of my parents’ were complete opposites. I liked my daddy’s side better because they always knew how to have fun, plus we had lots of cousins to play with.
I got along with my cousins, we were all so close in age, and we bonded really well. We always had sleepovers and parties, just us cousins. Family was beyond close, we were connected in such a special way, being with my cousins made me feel so loved.
Was it easy for me to forgive the bully’s? No, it was not easy but I had to forgive them on a daily basis knowing that they were ultimately going to be judged by God. That gave me some comfort, but I still didn’t like the fact that they were targeting me. I continued to push through the tormenting at school and managed to keep my grades at around an average level.
My grades were not that great so the school counselor said I needed to be tested for a LD. So, one day I was taken out of class and this nice lady put me through a very long and boring test. Then I had to go to a Neurologist and she was nice too, she said I had to get on a table and the table moved into a tube looking thing.
Yes that’s right an MRI of my brain, results showed my cognition was not working right. At the time, I didn’t know what cognition meant, I thought that was some kind of disease. Apparently the school thought it was a disease too, so the results from all these tests were that I had a learning disability and lack of motor skills.
I thought, maybe that is why I am being picked on. The school took me out of my “normal” classes and put me into Special Ed. I was with all the other disabled children. I would stay in Special-Ed till I graduated. As if that didn’t make things worse, I was picked on even more.
The other students were calling me a V.A.P., I didn’t know what to do, so I went home and begged my momma to put me back in the normal classes but she said her hands were tied, that it was up to the school. I was so angry; I didn’t want to ever go back to school. The name calling was horrible, they called me things like VAP, retard, four-eyed monkey (because I wore glasses that were very thick), and monkey because of the way I looked.
The depression was getting progressively worse and my peers were catching on to that, it was like they were feeding off my depression. It was humiliating to say the least, they would send boys to act like they liked me and then they would look at me and say SIKE and run and laugh. It was so hurtful; I just wanted to die, I couldn’t take the heartache and the depression anymore.
One night, my parents were going to church, but I begged to stay home so they let me. As soon as they left, I went into the kitchen and found the biggest knife I could find. I was going to give everyone what they wanted, me out of the way, I took the knife and just as I was about to slit my wrists the doorbell rings.
I put the knife down and went to answer the door, it was my neighbor, she wanted to come play dolls, and I let her in and quickly ran to the kitchen and put the knife back. She never knew that she saved my life that night. I was so grateful for a while that she showed up, because I didn’t want to die, just the depression talking to me I guess. It was like God had sent her to me because she didn’t want to leave until my parents and sisters got home.
I will be eternally grateful for my neighbor coming over and stopping me from making the biggest mistake of my life. I told my parents what I was going to do that night and they sat down and held me and told me I had to go a see a psychologist. They thought that might cure it, they knew everything since they were my parents. I just didn’t want to be depressed anymore, it was ruining my life. I had no self-esteem and no self-worth, I hated my life. The bullies were winning, but not for much longer.
The more they tortured me; the more I would go to the office and tell on them. Yes I was a tattle, but I got tired of them picking on me and beating me up and calling me names. They knew it was me tattling on them and it made things worse but I didn’t care, I was not going to hold it in anymore. I was literally and utterly tired of being tortured and believing the lies that they were giving me.
One day at school a group of boys grabbed me and pulled me into a dark damp janitor’s closet and raped me and beat me to a bloody pulp. It hurt so badly, and I hated it. Momma and daddy told me sex was supposed to be a good thing, but this did not feel good. I tried to fight back, I really did, but I wasn’t strong enough. I felt so dirty after that happened.
When I got home I took the coldest shower, I wanted to get the filth and the blood off of me. My parents were freaking out and asked me what happened. I told them and they called the cops. The cops didn’t do anything because it was my word against theirs. I think that is where the trust issues with men started to take affect; I vowed never to have sex with anyone EVER again.
The next day at school, everyone I would walk by was calling me a slut, the town slut, hoe, and whore. You name it they were calling me that, I wanted to run away, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had nobody I could count on except for my best friend and my sisters. I had had enough, my sisters kept an eye on me because they didn’t want me to try to kill myself like I had done in the past. They loved me that much to distract me from my thoughts.
A few weeks later, the boys that raped me beat me so bad I ended up in the hospital. They didn’t like the fact that I told on them. They had gotten in trouble with their parents. That is good for them that they got in trouble. They were fixing to get into more trouble for beating me to a bloody pulp. After I was seen in the ER the cops came and questioned me. I have to admit I was very mean to the cop. It was the same cop that had told me he wasn’t going to do anything about the rape.
Why should I tell him who did this, what was he going to do just ignore this too? My blood pressure was sky high so the nurses told the cop to leave because he was agitating me. My sisters talked to the cops outside, and took their statements. They didn’t see what happened to me but they knew who did it. The boys got arrested that night and I was admitted into the hospital until I could get better.
I was enjoying all the attention in the hospital, the nurses and doctors were constantly checking on me and making sure I was comfortable, my family came to see me and I had someone with me at all times. I felt so special that entire time I was in the hospital. I had broken bones so I had to stay in the hospital a few weeks longer and had multiple surgeries to repair the broken bones.
When I was let out of the hospital, a few days later I went back to school. As soon as I walked on the school property, everyone was silent as I walked to the office with my excuse from the doctors. I was not allowed to play or go to P.E. I was to go to class and stay there until the bell rung to go home. My parents didn’t want me to ride the bus so they picked me up every day after school.
In some ways I felt like a prisoner and in prison, I needed the warmth of the sunshine, I needed a vacation. So one weekend, my parents loaded up the car and we all went to the beach in San Diego. It was just what I needed, we stayed at the beach until dark, and there was a restaurant on the beach so we ate there and swam and just laid out enjoying the warmth of the sun and the sand between our toes.
It was time to go back to school and I didn’t want to but I couldn’t let those guys win, and be afraid. I walked into school and did my normal routine, and went home. One of the guys that were in the group that raped me came up to me and apologized. I didn’t know what to think, why was he coming up to me and asking for my forgiveness?
I got angry, “why should I forgive you?” I asked him, he replied with his head hung down, “you shouldn’t forgive me but I am so sorry, I was just trying to fit in.” Wow what an excuse to “fit in”. I told him it would take me a while but forgiveness didn’t come easily, because they ruined my life. How was I going to forgive such a horrible act? I was beside myself when he asked me to forgive him. Ha, part of me wanted to see him squirm.
I was taught to forgive, but why was it so hard to forgive them this time? My heart was hardening, and I didn’t like that, this was not who I was. I didn’t want them to have the satisfaction of seeing that I was suffering and depressed. I put up a wall around my heart and vowed not to put the walls down ever again, and never to have sex EVER again.
Right before it was time for the trial the District Attorney calls me into her office, “Rosa, are you sure you want to go after the boys?” I looked at her with tears in my eyes, “yes, I want to go after them, they shouldn’t get away with this.” That question not only upset me, but it really pissed me off, yes I wanted to stick it to them boys. In my eyes they needed to be taught a lesson and be punished to the fullest extent.
Meanwhile one day at school, one girl that was in Special-Ed with me, told me someone said I called her a bitch. I did no such thing; I was a quiet girl that kept mostly to myself. When I told her I didn’t call her that she said I was lying and she beat me up. I fell hard on the cement and with one final hit she broke my glasses.
She broke my glasses, and I thought great how am I going to see to get home? I went to the office and reported her and they called my parents to come and get me. My parents picked me up and brought me straight to the doctor and they made sure my nose and my legs weren’t broken. I was very lucky to come out with a broken nose and broken glasses. My glasses wouldn’t be ready for another week so my mom would have to bring me to school and someone from school had to guide me to class and read everything to me.
What made it worse was I was legally blind without my glasses. That actually taught me a lesson; the lesson was to learn to depend on others. It was such a hard lesson, one I would have to keep remembering.
I was so used to being independent it was a hard lesson to learn not to mention I was stubborn and tried my best not to bother people for help. A week later she was back at school and apologized to me. Her parents ended up paying for my new glasses, and the doctor bill that was part of the punishment since she clearly couldn’t pay for them herself.
The spring came and went, it was summer and the trial was starting in a couple of weeks. The court ordered that I see a psychiatrist for an evaluation to be sure I can handle being in court with the boys who beat me up.
I passed the evaluation and was ready to face them in court. I hoped the boys would get the maximum penalty for what they did to me. I couldn’t prosecute them on the rape but the last beating was all I needed.
The trial took a couple of months and the jury was out for three days looking over testimony and evidence; they reached a verdict and we were back in court to hear the verdict. The verdict was guilty and they recommended to the judge that each boy get the maximum jail time and were to be tried as adults, since this was a horrible act.
The judge agreed with the jury and gave the boys the maximum sentence; he gave each of them a chance to talk and one by one, they apologized and showed true remorse. Justice had been served, and the judge looks at me and asks me if I had anything to say before he sentenced them boys. I had plenty to say; my words were words of anger, but also words of kindness. I thanked the judge for allowing me to speak.
I looked in their eyes, and I told them, “You will finally pay for what you did to me. I wish it was for EVERYTHING you did to me but this will be better than nothing. You have ruined my life, I did nothing to you and for the way you treated me, and I could hate you for the rest of my life. But I won’t, since you have shown true remorse, I forgive you. But know you really did ruin my life. I won’t be the same again, and hopefully you all will have learned your lesson from this.”
The judge sentenced them to 10 years in prison without parole, and a restitution amount of all the hospital bills. I was so happy with the sentence, and we left court knowing that they were paying for their crimes. I thought things would get better once I went back to school that fall. But they didn’t, a whole new group of bullies were there and they tortured me too just like the other boys did, but this time it was the girls helping the boys. I felt so unwanted and unloved, I just wanted to kill myself, and I didn’t see any other way out.
I think the worst of the bullying was the name calling, which hurts worse than the physical bullying. Name calling does something to a person’s soul, and brings a person so low into a pit of agony that seems to have no bottom. I couldn’t wait for school to be over with; I was tired of the picking, name calling, the hitting, and the pulling of hair. I guess I was just destined to be picked on and bullied.
The humiliating days had taken its toll on me, I was at my wits end and I was getting angrier and angrier. The bullying didn’t help the depression either. I wanted out of that school but there were no other schools I could go to. I stuck it out and put up with way too much than I deserved. No one should have to go through what I went through.
That is when I decided I wanted to become a Psychologist, to help people who were going through a similar situation as me. When I would tell people I wanted to be a Psychologist, I would get laughed at, they would tell me things like how are you going to help someone else when you can’t help yourself?
This just struck a horrible feeling of desperation in my heart. I would not speak of what I wanted to be ever again. I was tired of people not believing in me like I believed in myself at one time. I was tired of the limitations being put on me. This brought my self-esteem and self-worth even lower.
Throughout all of this turmoil, I developed an eating disorder. I was eating as much as I could and throwing up. Nobody had any idea what was going on. Being called fat, fat whale, shamoo, and other names like that, it does something to a person. I didn’t want to be fat (which I was not), I wanted to be skinny like all the girls in school, I wanted to fit in, and I wanted to be liked. I was losing weight and my parents caught on.
They were not happy with me for doing that and begged me to stop. They threatened to take me to a Psychiatrist if I didn’t stop. I stopped for a while, just to make them happy.
But I was the one who was unhappy, I still kept hearing the words ‘you are fat, you are ugly, you will never amount to anything’ over and over and over again. Once it is said enough, a person starts believing it.
I went from making myself throw up to starving myself. I would only eat a few things everyday just to keep my blood sugar up. My parents caught on when I would say that I wasn’t hungry or I would barely touch my dinner. My mom called the Psychiatrist and told her what was going on and made an appointment for me to go talk to her. I was pissed, I didn’t want to go. I kept stalling but it was inevitable there was no way of getting around it.
I had to see the Psychiatrist. I was admitted into the hospital to get treatment for the anorexia and the bulimia. I knew what to do to get out of there quickly, I had to play the doctors and act like I was fine and I would get to go home sooner. I was not stupid, and I knew how to play the system. After daily counseling sessions, they thought I was improving. I wasn’t I just told them what they wanted to hear. My heart just wasn’t in it, I just wanted to go home, and I was tired of being in the hospital.
After a month at the hospital I was released, I had gained enough weight to where they were satisfied. My first day back at home was rough; we sat at the dinner table and ate supper.
I had to eat; they watched every bite and wouldn’t let me leave the table until I was done. When I was done I was constantly watched to make sure I was not throwing it up. They did NOT trust me at all; of course, I gave them a reason not to trust me.
The next morning at breakfast, it was the same routine, and I left for school. My sisters were in different grades than me so I had it all planned out. When I got to school I was going to go to the bathroom and throw everything up.
Well, my plan didn’t work that well, because my sisters followed me into the bathroom. Action plan B went into effect, during homeroom hour, I asked my teacher if I could go to the bathroom. She let me go; I was in the clear I could throw up everything ate for supper and breakfast.
It worked, I felt better, over the next few weeks I continued to do that; until, my teacher caught on to what I was doing. She would send another girl while I was in the bathroom throwing up to spy on me.
My plan had backfired, I knew I was busted and I tried to talk my way out of my parents finding out but that was not an option. The teacher called my parents and I was back at the hospital. I did everything that was asked of me for an early release.
I thought I was going to get away with it again like last time. This time the doctors and nurses were smarter than that. They caught on and revoked my privileges from phone calls and free time outside.
It sucked not being able to talk to my family, I felt like I was in prison, I guess this was my punishment to make me cooperate and get better. I hated the fact that I put myself in this predicament, this was not who I was on the inside.
One day during one of my counseling sessions, I told the Psychiatrist what was going through my head. That was hard to do because of the trust issues. I mentioned how the children at school would call me names like fat, shamoo, and things like that. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I spent the next few weeks talking about how I felt and my reasoning behind this eating disorder.
I made a breakthrough and was on the way to healing. I wanted to get better, so I had to stay one more month in the hospital to get me better again. Something changed in my heart those two months. I didn’t want to be tied down to an eating disorder, I wanted to get better.
Group counseling was a big help too, and finding out that I wasn’t the only one with this problem helped, I felt like I could do it once I got home. I was finally healing, and I was being released after two long months of therapy and learning to love myself again.
Somewhere between the bullying that was happening and the fact that my self-esteem was being flushed down the toilet I lost myself. Through the individual and group therapy I found myself again.
That was the whole point of going through this horrible two months. I just had to learn a way of coping with everything instead of binging or starving myself when something went wrong in my life.
I now had the tools I needed to cope with everything, so when I got home, those tools got used quite often. It was a struggle in the beginning but I got through it. One of the things that got me through it was the fact that I had a wonderful support system that I could call or lean on at any time. My psychiatrist’s number was on speed dial in case I needed her.
The fact that I now had a journal that I could write in, I was able to heal and get rid of all the anger so I could heal completely. Writing became my escape, and much like therapy I began to feel better after I wrote it down.
When I would go to my counseling sessions I was required to bring the journal with me, and we worked on the problems together. It wasn’t just group therapy, and individual therapy, I also had family therapy, so my family could know how to be there for me and how I can trust them enough to tell them what was going on.
As I look back on it now, I am glad all of these things that happened the way they did. Had it not been for my family and therapist I would not be here today. They have taught me so much through all these years.
As I said earlier, my writing was my escape. This was so true when I finally went back to school after I got out the hospital. There were rumors flying all over the school about me and lots of children teasing me. When I felt it was too much to handle, I would find a quiet spot and start to write till I felt better.
All of the teachers were aware of this thanks to my therapist notifying the teachers of what was going on. The teachers made me comfortable enough that I could go talk to them when things got overwhelming.
I would often stay in class at lunch or recess just to talk to them. It really helped a lot and they gave me so much attention I think the other children were getting jealous.
I didn’t care that the others were jealous; I needed the TLC and the attention. Some days it felt like it was not going to get better and the fact that I just wanted to give up and go back to the way things were. Here is a sample of my diary entry for a bad day:
Dear diary,
I cannot take all of the teasing and the bullying, I wish I was dead, nobody would miss me. If I do kill myself would that mean the bullies would win? I don’t want them to win I want them to pay for what they are doing to me.
I just can’t take it anymore, I wish I was popular and everything would just get better and things were normal in my life. I can’t handle it. What do I do, who can I turn to? I know my parents say I could turn to God, but I don’t feel him anywhere around me I feel so alone, had God abandoned me? Where is He, I don’t want to feel alone.
I just want to be liked and loved, is that too much to ask from anyone? Who is going to love me for me; when I can’t even love myself? I don’t want to go through this anymore.
Signed,
Me
That’s what I was going through pretty much on a daily basis. I just wanted out of this life. Why had God abandoned me? Was I that horrible? All of these things and countless other questions burdened me day after day after day. After I would write in my journal I would kneel by my bedside and pray and pray and cry, I think God hears the tears more than he hears the words. The tears were rolling down my face, my head in my hands, asking God where He was and what did I do to deserve this. After I prayed, I was so drained so I got in my bed and cried myself to sleep.
The next morning, I woke up and the sun was shining and a rainbow right outside my window. It was beautiful; it was like a sign that everything was going to be ok.
I had more energy than I have had in months, and I was off of school that day, since it was the weekend, and I just turned on my music and just praised the Lord for giving me peace and comfort especially when I needed it the most the night before.
Things were looking up finally, and I was so grateful that I thought of spending the day outside just soaking up the sun. What a burst of fresh air, I was the happiest I have been in months, years even.
This is exactly what I wanted and it was finally in my reach to obtain it. I was no longer questioning why, but was saying ‘Lord, what lesson can I learn from this trial that has had me for years? How can I help others from this?’
Somehow on that sunny and warm Saturday, I finally figured out why I went through this experience. The yearning in my heart overruled everything my family teased me about; I knew I had gone through these things so I can be a Counselor to help people.
It was almost time to start taking the ACT. I had the flu but was going to take it anyway. I had people telling me what I needed to major in and I had my own agenda as to what I wanted to major in. I wanted to major in Psychology but was convinced by everyone to major in Pre-Law because it was a better paying job.
When I applied to Harvard, and Yale, there was a box on the application to put what I wanted to major in. I wrote I wanted to be a Pre-Law major, because that is what everyone else wanted but me. I was going to let them have their way; it was no use fighting them on the subject.
The day of the ACT I was extremely sick and ended up doing poorly on the exam. I ended up having to retake it because the scores were too low to get into Harvard or Yale. I also decided to study more so that I could make a higher score. I also decided to apply at Duke. I wanted to get into the best schools in spite of what the Neurologists had told my parents.
My whole life up until this point in time was about beating the odds and pushing through the turmoil and proving everyone wrong. I was more determined than ever to prove everyone including my family wrong and become a very successful woman. After studying for months I took the ACT again and scored extremely high on it.
When I got the ACT scores in the mail I was extremely excited, I scored high enough to make it into any college I wanted. It was just a waiting game to see which school would pick me to attend.
I finished my junior year so excited; I knew things were looking up for me despite everything that had happened. That summer, I got accepted into Yale. They even sent me and my family airfare tickets to go tour the school.
I had also made plans that summer to visit other schools to check out my options. Of course, Yale, and Harvard were at the top of my lists. There was only one thing standing in my way after graduating High School; which was financial aid. I had to figure out a way to get financial aid (enough to live off of) so all I would have to worry about was studying.
I had no Idea how much money was available for me to get. Throughout my Sr. year I visited with my School Counselor and she helped me apply for all kinds of grants and scholarships. I was getting letters left and right about the financial aid that I had been accepted for I was receiving all kinds of scholarships, grants and loans. I was set for my entire 4 years or longer of college, I didn’t have to worry about working, all I had to do was worry about studying.
I was all set; I just had to finish my Sr. year; that would have been easier said than done. That year, I suffered a lot of loss; my grandma died and so did my great grandparents. I was distraught because I looked up to them, and they were so easy to talk to since I really couldn’t talk to my parents about certain things.
In the fall of my Sr. Year, I was singing at a concert, and I saw this guy kept smiling at me and he was very handsome. After the concert, he ran up to me and told me what a great singer I was. I just kept thinking how cute he was, I was so shy and bashful that night.
He told me he was going to Yale in the fall for Pre-Med. I was so excited; I told him that I was going to Yale for Pre-Law. What were the odds, it was like God had just dropped him in my lap. He was tall, dark hair, brown eyes. He had a killer smile, and we talked for hours before I had to go home. Before we said goodbye, he told me his name, it was Lenny. It had a nice ring to it and I liked his name.
Before I went home we exchanged numbers and he told me he would call me after he got home, he also said he would look for me when we both got to Yale. I went home that night and couldn’t sleep a wink, I was so excited, and could this be really happening to me? Did I deserve such a great guy? Was I worthy enough?
I wrote in my diary that night all about our conversation, and how it made me feel, and what I had hoped came out of the conversations. He just seemed so perfect; something had to be wrong with this picture. Nobody ever wanted me, the whole time growing up and the whole time in High School.
A few weeks later, Lenny and I go on our first date. It was magical and we hit it off and had lots to talk about. He asked me to his prom and my prom was coming up so we agreed to be each other’s date at both proms.
I was so excited, two proms in two weeks. I couldn’t afford two dresses (one for each prom), so I bought one really nice dress. I looked and felt like a princess. Momma took me to get my hair/nails/feet done. I felt so pampered and I actually liked the attention.
The night of Lenny’s prom, he meets me at the door and I invited him in. I was trying to avoid the whole have her home at a certain time kind of lecture. Momma wouldn’t let us go before she took lots of pictures. He had a wrist corsage, it was beautiful and it smelt fresh. “A fresh corsage for my sweet Rosa,” he said. My heart melted.
We take off in the limo, and he reaches out his hand for my hand. He takes my hand and says “may I kiss you?” I didn’t know what to say, we had never kissed before. I looked down and told him the only person I am kissing is the one I marry on my wedding day.
He was shocked but he said he understood. We get to prom and have a blast; we danced to every single song. We danced so much that my feet were hurting by the end of the night. Wow, I didn’t think the songs were going to end!
The passion that night was intense and romance was definitely in the air, I just wanted to kiss him so bad but I vowed not to kiss anyone until my wedding day. I thought for sure he was going to dump me but he didn’t. Lenny kept his promise and took me to my prom. Another limo ride in two weeks, wow, I felt like a million bucks.
Just like the first prom we danced all night and things were heating up between us, it was very hard not to kiss him right on the dance floor or in the limo since we were alone.
This time the limo didn’t take us home right away. I wondered if this had something to do with the phone call I received from Lenny wanting to talk to my parents. “Where are we going Lenny?” I asked. “It is a surprise, you will find out in a few minutes.”
I trusted him completely, and we got to the park and it was dark, no one around. It kind of freaked me out, still then I trusted him completely. We get out of the limo and we walk by the pond. I see candles lit, and a blanket set on the ground with rose petals and two glasses of sparkling cider.
My heart was pounding, I wasn’t sure what was going on but I was enjoying my night and didn’t want it to end. “Lenny, shouldn’t I be getting home soon, it is almost my curfew.” “Don’t worry, I got everything planned and worked out, just follow me to the blanket”. I did so, and he took out his guitar and serenaded me. Wow, I thought I am the luckiest girl in the world right now. This was almost like a fairytale happening to me.
He put his guitar down and looked at me, Rosa, my sweet and darling Rosa; I have waited so long for this moment. He gets on his knee and said “Rosa, I love you with all my heart, and would you do me the honor of marrying me”.
I couldn’t even respond, I had so many emotions, I burst out into tears, and he wipes them away from my face. “Yes and a million times yes!” I was so excited. We toasted and drank the sparkling cider, and then the cops showed up, “ok children, time for you both to get home.”
On the limo ride home, I had so many questions to ask Lenny, but nothing was coming out of my mouth. I just sat there staring at the ring that was on my finger. I didn’t know what or when to tell my parents. The anxiety grew as we got closer to home; I didn’t know what to expect from my parents as far as their reaction to me being late and their reaction for me being engaged.
We were soon going to find out; we had just turned the corner and were almost to the house. The lights were on; they were waiting up for me.
As the limo driver pulls in the driveway, Lenny gets out of the car with me and we walk into the house, my parents were sitting on the couch with smiles on their faces.
We told them how prom was and we told them we were engaged. Much to my surprise, they already knew of the plan. They were hoping I would say yes. They really liked Lenny and knew Lenny’s parents, so that made it easier to give us their blessing. Apparently everyone knew except for me. That was ok though, I liked the surprise.
We had not talked about setting a date yet because we hadn’t even graduated. Yale was going to happen whether we were married or not. The passion with us was so strong that I really didn’t want to wait too long.
We both graduated from each our schools and I had to plan a wedding very quickly. We found out about family housing at Yale. I was nervous and happy all rolled into one.
July came and we got married, it was a sunset wedding on the beach. Although small, it was a beautiful wedding, lights all around, the sound of the water, and the warmth of the setting sun. My favorite moment was when the priest said you may kiss the bride.
At that moment (since I had not kissed him before), our first kiss was magical, it was electrifying, it was just amazing! There are not enough word to describe what I was feeling at that moment of our first kiss.
What a wonderful feeling, I married to the man I loved and we were going to college in just one month for the Fall Semester at Yale.
During the reception, my daddy taps his goblet with a fork, “can I have everyone’s attention please, please welcome Mr. and Mrs. Lenny Polcheckie. I would like to give them a special gift.”
My eyes filled up with tears of joy, I had no idea what he had planned to give us. He handed me quite a large envelope.
“Open it darling, I really hope you both like it” he said as he lit up and smiled. “Thank you daddy I am sure we will like it” as I opened the envelope my mouth dropped and so did Lenny’s.
“My darling daughter and son-in-law, I wanted to bless both of you with a honeymoon to Hawai’i, in the envelope you will find the instructions to the Hilton, and you will find your plane tickets.”
We were speechless and I jumped up and gave my daddy a big hug, with my lips quivering and tears flowing down my face, I managed to say “Thank you daddy!”
Our flight was to leave the next morning, so daddy had already booked us a room at a Bed and Breakfast. I longed for this day for a long time, it was finally here, everything I was waiting for came true and more. Our wedding night was full of passion, and lots of lovemaking. He was so gentle with me since he knew about the rape. I didn’t want to leave that room the next morning.
We looked at the packet the next morning and read the instructions; we found out that we were to be in Hawai’i for fourteen days. Fourteen days with my husband in paradise, no interruptions, no parents. Wow, I felt like the luckiest woman in the world.
I was so ready for our honeymoon; we ate breakfast and headed to the airport. After hours in the air, we finally arrived at Kona Airport. Our whole trip was planned out and paid for. We got on the shuttle to the rental car place to pick up our rental and headed to the hotel. The hotel was the most magnificent thing I have ever seen. It literally took my breath away, the architecture was beyond what I had imagined or could have ever dreamed up. We got our room key and checked into the hotel, I was still in amazement at the amenities of the hotel.
We settled into our room and made some more sweet loving, then went to bed. So the next morning we went sightseeing, our first excursion was not until the next morning. We drove around the whole island, and ate at a magnificent restaurant overlooking the water.
I felt like I was in paradise, and Lenny seeing me happy was all he wanted. He went out of his way to make sure I was comfortable and had a good day. I couldn’t ask for more, I was the happiest in God knows how long. We got back to the hotel that night and we were so tired we crashed.
It was time for our first excursion; it was at the hotel so we didn’t have to drive anywhere. The excursion was swimming with the dolphins. What a calming experience, and the dolphins really seemed to be attached to me.
I was so elated that I was getting to swim and pet a dolphin, it was so awesome. After that we sat outside by the beach under some white canopy tents overlooking the water and had some coffee, I truly was having a blast and felt on top of the world.
The next morning I was in for a great treat, Lenny woke up before me and ordered room service. He ordered my favorite breakfast; grits and eggs with bacon bits. I know that sounds a little strange but it was so good. I was so touched when I woke up and he was standing in front of me with the breakfast tray. How lucky was I; my hubby brought me breakfast in bed. We had the morning to have fun or go swimming. We relaxed in the room for a little while, and made love again.
After all, this was our honeymoon and I did save myself until marriage; unlike some other girls I knew that didn’t and ended up getting pregnant and having abortions as an easy way out.
Our next excursion was a tour of the island by air. I was quite nervous about that but excited at the same time. We went to lunch in Hilo before it was time for our appointment with the pilot.
We were going on a jet, everyone had a window seat, and it was going to tour the entire island, around a two to three hour tour of the island. We were excited because we saw everything that we could from the ground now we got to see it from the air.
Our plane took off and we were all set to go, we got to see every single climate there is just on that one island. It was an awesome experience I will never forget and will tell my grandchildren/great grandchildren one day.
We saw things that we could not see on the ground because there were no roads to get to the sites or the rental cars were not allowed down that road. We saw the steepest road in the world, and only 4x4’s could go down that road otherwise the rental cars would stay down there.
I think seeing the waterfalls from the air did something to my soul. Just seeing the beauty and awesomeness, I just couldn’t help but thank God for creating all of this for our enjoyment. We got to see where they filmed some movies and the pilot talked to us the whole time telling us some interesting stories of the island. He also told us of some excursions that were awesome that anyone visiting Hawai’i wouldn’t want to miss.
This excursion topped the dolphins, I didn’t think that was possible but it did. I didn’t think anything could top this plane ride over the island. I was in for a big surprise, there were more exciting excursions, but we didn’t get to know what they were until the morning of the event.
Daddy planned it that way so the element of surprise was continually getting better by the day. I didn’t think we would get to do all the things on the island that looked interesting.
The next day we got the envelope with our excursions on it. This particular day was private boats ride out into the ocean to go scuba diving. This is something I have never done and never dreamed of doing. We boarded the boat and we set out to sea, we were asked to go down stairs on the boat for a surprise.
We walked down the steps whispering at each other for one of us to guess what it was we were going to see. Of course, Lenny said it might be a bed waiting for us since it was a long ways out. I thought he was crazy, I thought it was instructions for the scuba diving event once we got to the place we were going.
We were both wrong; downstairs inside the boat was a candlelit dinner waiting for us. Lenny noticed a note on the table next to the roses addressed to me. I looked at Lenny with confusion on my face, “Darling, do you know what this is?” Lenny shook his head no, we sat down at the table and I opened the note. It was from my daddy, letting us know that he had set all of this up, and for us to enjoy ourselves and he loved us.
Tears of joy continued to flow from my face, and Lenny took me by the hand and said “my sweet Rosa, I love you so dearly, and I can’t wait to make your life so carefree and comfortable, I can’t wait to grow old with you”.
My heart was touched so dearly by those sweet words of my husband. How did I get so lucky? This was too good to be true; I kept pinching myself to see if I was dreaming. It felt like a Fairytale dream.
Those words made me feel so loved and so wanted; I had never felt like that before with anyone. Of course, I had never been with anyone, so yes this was so special to me. After we went scuba diving we went back to the hotel, and fell fast asleep.
The next morning, we receive a knock on the door, we both look at each other like ‘who could that be’, Lenny got up and answered the door, it was our excursion envelope for that day. We were doing a lot of excursions; I didn’t know how I was ever going to pay my daddy back.
This excursion was a Luau, daddy knew I had never been to one; he must have booked it for that reason. We got in the car and drove into town where the Luau was supposed to be, we were early so we sat at the bar and ordered a couple of drinks. We told them it was our honeymoon so they said the drinks were on the house.
The Luau started and first it was a ritual of welcoming the tribe, then it was the roasting of the pig. While the pig was roasting we were able to watch a couple of demonstrations. One demonstration we watched was the coconut cracking demonstration. I hate coconuts but that was interesting. The guy demonstrating it made us laugh the whole time and I enjoyed every minute.
The show was amazing, and in the middle of the Luau, they asked all the couples on their honeymoons to stand and they congratulated us and serenaded us.
It was so cool, I was happy and just to dance with my new husband was such a turn on to me. Still, I didn’t think it could get much better than the Luau.
Again, the next day we get another envelope with the day’s activities. We were going to the Macadamia Nut factory. I finally got to see where they grew the trees and where they packaged the macadamia nuts! We saw it from the air on the air tour but we were finally getting a tour of the factory!
We got ready to go and went downstairs to the lobby, by this time the workers started to recognize us and greet us; I actually sort of liked it. We took a shuttle bus to the factory and went on the tour. We couldn’t use our cameras because of the glare. I was a little disappointed but didn’t let it get me down. It was an experience that we really enjoyed. After the tour we got to the store there and got some souvenirs.
We got back to the hotel a couple of hours later and I was craving some coffee, I couldn’t go to Hawai’i and not get some Hawai’ian coffee.
We got in the rental car and went drive around and I remembered that on the way to the factory tour I saw a coffee place in Hilo. We drove and finally found it.
We pulled in the driveway and I thanked Lenny, the craving for the Hawai’ian coffee was very strong, and finally, I got my chance to have some! We sat in that little coffee shop and talked what seemed like all night; just making plans for our future. We were getting tired so we headed back to the hotel and called it a night.
The next couple of days were set aside for us to just relax and hang out around the pool. We needed that; every day was some sort of excursion. I took those couple of days to my advantage, and we had a blast just hanging out in the room making love and hanging out by the pool.
Going under the big white tents by the beach and having coffee, I didn’t want to leave. I asked Lenny if this was what heaven was like, because I felt like I was there. Without uttering a sound, he leaned over and kissed me ever so softly and smiled.
I used some of our free time journaling everything that we had done and journaling my feelings. I was at peace and completely content and happy. There was something about this hotel that just felt so luxurious and peaceful. I felt so lucky and blessed to be experiencing this with my wonderful new hubby.
The next couple of days were spent shopping and going explore different places on the island, we went on a 4x4 tour to go down certain roads we couldn’t go down with the rental car. That was an experience I would NEVER forget!
It was scary and fun at the same time. Most of all I enjoyed the thrill and the rush; I think Lenny will always remember me screaming in his ear ha-ha!! I took lots of pictures and wrote that experience in my journal.
The last day of the trip was the excursion; I think of a lifetime, we went on a stargazing tour on Mauna Kea. The tour van picked us up at the hotel and took our menu for the supper we were going to have on a ranch at the bottom of the mountain. We sat on the back axil, we felt every bump. Lenny wanted to sit on the aisle, like the new wife that I was; I let him sit on the aisle and I got the window seat.