Rudolf Goes Bananas
By Mike Thomas.
Illustrated by Julie Askey
Published by Mike Thomas at Smashwords.
Copyright 2011 Mike Thomas.
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Chapter 2 - Last Minute Preparations
Chapter 5 - It’s Getting Worse
Do you believe in Santa?
If you do, then he’ll be very relieved, thank you very much. But if you don’t, then I know his wife will be very unhappy. In fact she’ll be really angry!
She may be so short that she only comes up to Santa’s chest when she’s wearing her special high heeled Christmas boots, but don’t ever cross her. No, no, no, that would not be a good idea. She may be the real Santa’s little helper, but don’t be fooled by her size or lack of it, especially after last year’s trouble. Just thinking back to it still makes her heart jump a few beats because it all went so wrong. To think that some silly children don’t even care what her lovely husband does for them every year without fail. They should be ashamed of themselves.
Mrs Claus was busy at work in her very large kitchen baking cakes, mince pies and delicious cookies. She did this each day for everyone at the North Pole and it made her very happy. She never tired of the lovely smell wafting through the air and she knew everyone else loved it too. The elves and reindeer all enjoyed their tea breaks when she brought her trolley of goodies through the workshops for them, and Santa was sure the treats made them all work harder too.
There was a knock at the door and in popped the head of an elf called Loopy. “Have you heard?” he asked.
“Heard what?” replied Mrs Claus, still rolling out pastry.
Loopy opened the door further and walked in. “Santa has crashed the sleigh again.”
“He what?” exclaimed Mrs Claus, spinning around to glare at Loopy, “Is he okay? What happened?”
“Yes, he’s fine,” answered the elf in a calm voice. Loopy stopped as he spotted the cakes and pies on the kitchen tops then made his way towards them. “He was out testing a few new things on the sleigh and something went wrong,” he continued, reaching out for a cup cake.
Mrs Claus noticed what he was doing and quickly smacked the back of his hand with a wooden spoon. “He should be more careful at his age, and so should Rudolf!” she said in her very strict voice.
“It wasn’t Rudolf out there,” replied Loopy, “He’s on holiday at Donner’s place. It was Eddie who was testing the sleigh with Santa.”
“What, Prancer and Vixen’s eldest?” she asked in surprise.
“Yup,” replied Loopy, “But it wasn’t his fault either. I heard it was something technical that didn’t work.”
While Mrs Claus had her back turned he quickly grabbed a cake and headed for the door again. “I’m just off to see what happened!” he called, and left Mrs Claus to get back to her baking.
Loopy scurried off through the bright, colourfully lit corridors of the North Pole’s main building. He headed for Santa’s take off and landing site, stuffing lovely warm cake into his mouth as he went. It wasn’t long before he was standing in front of Santa’s sleigh and he stared at it in amazement. This was the newest version of Santa’s sleigh and there had been more than a few changes and updates recently.
For a start off, the original eight reindeer had left the North Pole. They wanted a change from what they’d done for years and years, and they weren’t getting any younger. It had always been up to them to pull Santa along, but they had been complaining for a long time that it was getting harder to do. Comet had invented a new sack for the sleigh that had helped to make it lighter but they still complained. They weren’t sure if there were more children to deliver to or they were just getting a bit too old.
Loopy stood with his hands on his hips and frowned at the bent runner on the bottom of the sleigh. “It must have happened in the crash,” he thought, and was suddenly aware that Santa was nearby talking to Prancer. Santa was telling the old reindeer what had happened to cause the crash, while Prancer stood listening and rubbing his chin with a puzzled look on his face. He had always been very good with his hands and could do anything from putting up buildings and fixing trucks to giving massages. This had come in very handy during a couple of sleigh rides when other reindeer had strained muscles or bumped into the odd chimney.
“I don’t see why that should cause an accident,” grumbled Prancer, “I’ll go and ring Comet in a moment to see what he thinks.”
“Perhaps it was my fault then,” answered Santa, “All these new bits and pieces do mix me up a bit to be honest.”
“Never mind,” answered Prancer, “Nobody was hurt and we can make the sleigh as good as new in no time. I’ll get a couple of elves onto it right away.”
Santa thanked his old friend, then turned and started back for his office. Whatever would he have done without Prancer and Comet? They were the ones who had made the new sleigh. He had only agreed to let his eight reindeer leave if they could come up with another way to power it, and they had! Comet was a genius with anything electrical and had invented some amazing things for the sleigh. He had left the North Pole and opened a shop selling computers, televisions, videos and all sorts of gadgets. It became so successful that he had branched out and now owned a huge chain of electrical shops.
Comet and Prancer had worked hard for two years trying to perfect a powerful but silent way of driving the sleigh without reindeer pulling it. They had worked wonders and eventually created what Santa called “a masterpiece of technology”. In reality Santa didn’t understand any of it but he knew it was something to do with electricity and very strong magnets.
The only thing Santa demanded was that at least one reindeer guided the sleigh. He believed that reindeer and sleighs went together and that it just wouldn’t look right without at least one in front. He also worried that he might be a bit lonely in his high tech sleigh without at least one of his friends to talk to on his long journey.
The only reindeer left to guide the sleigh was Rudolf, who was quite a pin up star for many young does at one point when somebody even wrote a song about him. He now lives alone in a small cottage not far from Santa at the North Pole and tends to keep himself to himself most of the time. He does have a lot of very scary hobbies though. He loves to take part in fast, white knuckle activities like bungee jumping, snow boarding and white water rafting. Santa doesn’t like that very much and won’t allow him to do any in the second half of the year in case he gets a serious injury and can’t steer the sleigh.
Santa walked in through his office door, sat down at his desk and looked around the room at the photos on the wall. All of the old reindeer were up there to remind him of his happy days with them. The first one to catch his eye was a photo of Cupid who was very beautiful, as far as reindeer go. She had done some modelling when she first left the North Pole before starting her own dating agency in Canada. Next to that photo was a picture of Prancer and Vixen at their wedding. They now lived in Norway with their fourteen children. Vixen hadn’t wanted to move too far away from Santa and this made it easier for Prancer to get back and forth to work on the sleigh.
There was a knock on the door and in came an elf wearing thick glasses and holding a clip board.
“Hello Albert, what can I do for you?” asked Santa.
“I’ve got a couple of my lads fixing the sleigh at the moment sir,” replied the elf in a very calm voice. “It shouldn’t take too long.”
“Ah good, thank you for that,” said Santa. “I think you’ll have to go through some of the new controls with me again at some point too.”
“Any time you want, sir,” answered Albert politely. “By the way, we’ve had another phone call from NASA. They asked if we could loan them the sleigh’s sack again for their research.”
“Again?” groaned Santa, “Haven’t they had enough from us? We even had to use the old sleigh a couple of Christmases ago because they’d got our new one and were doing tests on it. They didn’t give it back in time then.” Santa stopped and sighed. “Tell them they can have it in January. I don’t want to risk not having it for Christmas.”
“Okay, I’ll ring them back later,” said Albert, writing something down on his clipboard. “I’m sorry to disturb you any more sir, but I need to show you a couple of things down in the lab. We need to know if you’d like them fitted to the sleigh this year.”
“That’s okay Albert, I wasn’t really doing anything,” answered Santa. He got to his feet and glanced at a picture of Blitzen holding a pair of skis. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”
On their way to the North Pole science rooms, Albert discussed the new controls in the sleigh hoping Santa would realise what he’d done to cause the crash. It didn’t help at all and he gave up as they reached the security door to the main lab. He placed his left thumb on a small glass square and spoke into a microphone next to the door. “Voice recognition. Albert B. Poppington needing access.”
Immediately, the metal doors slid open and Albert led Santa inside the bright, clean laboratory. The door slid closed behind them with a quiet hiss and Santa smiled when he saw all the strange things around him.
“This way please sir,” said Albert, and he led Santa through the busy room. Crackling sparks danced in front of one elf as he welded parts of a strange machine together. A loud whizzing noise by another elf ended with a dark brown liquid spraying all over him. “Oh dear, murmured Albert, “The new hot chocolate machine needs sorting out.”
Everywhere he looked, Santa saw other elves dressed in a white science coats working hard on some new gadgets. “It looks very busy down here Albert,” stated Santa.
“It is indeed sir,” he replied. “Comet has come up with some great new ideas, but we need to do a lot more work on some of them before they’re ready.”
He finally stopped next to a bench that looked like the seat from the sleigh. “Here is something I think you will be very pleased with sir,” announced Albert. “I know that even in your big red suit you still get cold, so the boys down here have built you heated seats for the sleigh!” He had a beaming smile and turned to Santa for a reply.
“Oh my, that’s a good idea,” growled Santa with a grin. “Does it work?”
“Be my guest sir, and please take a seat,” said Albert waving his hand for another elf to switch on the power. Santa sat down and waited to feel something, then sighed a happy sigh when he felt the warmth beneath him.
“Oh yes, that’s good,” said Santa, “Please fit it to the sleigh as soon as you can. Do you have anything else?”
Albert went on to show him a few of the other new gadgets. One was similar to the seat but in the floor of the sleigh to keep his feet warm, another was a new warning horn that played Santa’s favourite tune, and the last was an automatic roof for the sleigh in case of rain. Santa was very pleased but he wasn’t completely sure about the roof as it would change the way the sleigh looked and he liked it the way it was.
“We’ve got some more things on the way too,” explained Albert. “Some of them are to fit in with new health and safety regulations so you won’t be so interested in those, but we’ll fit them when they’re ready.”
Santa groaned. “Oh yes, health and safety. I wish they’d just leave me alone. I never had to bother with them in the good old days!” He looked at Albert and put on a childish voice. “Don’t do that! Do this! Do you know how dangerous that is? Why have you done that? Oooooh!” Santa hated people sticking their noses in where they didn’t need to.
“There are also a couple of things we’ve done for Rudolf. He can look at those when he gets back from his holiday,” said Albert, looking at Santa in a strange way. “I take it he’s on holiday with Donner as usual?”
“Of course,” confirmed Santa. “You’d think he’d get tired of going there every year, but at least he’s not jumping out of a plane or leaping over lines of parked cars on a motorbike! I didn’t even know you could get a crash helmet to fit a reindeer.”
Out of all the reindeer, Donner had moved to the warmest place – the Caribbean. He lived on a small island and had started up a water sports business that provided water skiing, snorkelling, scuba diving and more. He had also given an open invitation to all the other reindeer to visit and stay with him whenever they wanted. Most of the reindeer were all far too busy doing their own thing, so Rudolf was the only one to take him up on the invitation. He would go every year after his six months of high speed, dangerous sports. It was a time to relax with his old friend, lying out in the sun on the beach, sipping fruity cocktails until the sun set and deep into the night. Donner would gently strum tunes on his guitar while the barbeque hissed and sizzled with the sound of cooking food.
It was during one of these visits that things had started to go wrong.
Rudolf had been out wandering around the island all day while Donner was hard at work. When he arrived back very late, Donner had already gone to bed. The first thing anyone had seen of him the next day was at about lunchtime and he seemed very different indeed.
He was giggling. Not just a bit, but constantly. It was as if someone was telling him joke after joke while tickling his hooves. Every now and then, he’d let out an insane shriek and then carry on giggling uncontrollably. Donner thought he’d been drinking rum at first but it carried on for the rest of Rudolf’s holiday in a very irritating way. All Donner could get from him apart from the giggling were the words “I love bananas!”
To cap it all off, he noticed Rudolf had got his ear pierced and was wearing a large banana shaped earring with a twinkling gem at the end. He’d also had a tattoo done on his bottom which read “I love bananas,” but instead of the word love, there was a big red heart.
“Oh dear”, sighed Donner, “Santa is not going to like that!”
He decided to avoid Rudolf for the rest of the holiday. It was pointless trying to make conversation with him over his endless giggling and banana eating. Donner could even hear him giggling in his sleep from the other side of the house, and had to start wearing ear plugs so he could get some sleep himself.
Finally Donner was able to drive Rudolf to the airport and wave him off with a sigh of relief. Even his neighbours had started to complain about the never ending sound of Rudolf giggling and shrieking. He wouldn’t have minded so much, but they lived right at the other end of the street.
Donner made his way back home and sent an email to Santa warning him what to expect when Rudolf arrived back at the North Pole. He then sat outside his house in the garden and relaxed, listening to the peaceful sound of birdsong that had recently been drowned out by Rudolf. Peace at last.