Living With The Dead
By: Priyanka Harbola
Published by WSIC EBooks Ltd.
Copyright November 17, 2011 by WSIC Ebooks Ltd.
Smashwords Edition
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This book is dedicated to:
“All the human beings who understand emotion
In this world full of chaos and commotion”
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
No success is attained without the support of others
No success is success that is celebrated alone
There are a few gems in all our lives, those people who love us whole heartedly, who are very well known to us but then there are some acquaintances, some unknown faces, some passerby’s, some people we have read about or heard of, some casual friends....some people who exist in our memory like the faded pages of an old book who somehow affect our lives. I would like to thank all of them because in one way or the other they have inspired me, motivated me and helped me pen down my thoughts. This dream of a book would still be a dream without them.
First and foremost I would thank God who has bestowed his blessings on me in all walks of life and helped me fight against all odds during this project work. Secondly I would thank my parents who are next to God for me and my saviour in times of need. Their undeterring faith in me has made me believe in myself all the more.
I am immensely grateful to my senior and dear friend Mr. Shashank Yadav for his motivation and wise suggestions not only in writing this book but also in other fields of life. I am also thankful to my Buddy & friends, Monika Tripathy, Malini Pant, Sonal Chaurasia, Dheeraj Nautiyal, Dheeraj Singh Rawat, Jyoti Kandpal, Arvind jantwal, Manish Bhatt and my sister Ms. Aarti Khulbe .
Last but not the least I thank all the appreciators of my work, Vaishali Bisht, Shubhangi Yadav, Priyanka Pandey, Akaash Dev Sharma, Dhananjay Sati, Mehak Sharma and my sister Shruti Sharma.
It is an arduous task of naming everyone and any important name left in the counting....also counts!!!
Chapter One
“Dad, did you see that?”, asked Neil in bewilderment. His blue eyes unable to accept what they had seen and his mouth still open. “Oh! Neil, Now what is it? A monster from the outer space? Please go back to bed and let me hit the sack too. I have had a tiring day” came the blunt reply in a jiffy. The blue eyes in a split second became watery and the first tear rolled down the soft skin of the cheeks followed by many others. It was sort of a chain reaction and the vicious cycle had begun. How could his dad not believe him? How could he be so gruff? Amidst these thoughts lay that horrifying feeling of what he had just witnessed. Neil knew it had all been true, the door that had opened on its own, the sound of the footsteps, the voices he had heard that had been tormenting him. The lonesome child, however, had only himself to his rescue. His innuendo about the strange happenings would never be able to convince his father. He needed evidence, a strong one to prove the presence of a spirit in their home. In contemplating the ways to adduce the evidence, he fell asleep.
It was 2 am, when a touch of cold air woke him up and send a shudder down the spine. Neil was freezing contrary to the ambient temperature outdoor. He was shivering with the coldness he was feeling, both inside and outside. It only grew intense when he saw the rocking chair beside him dancing to its own tunes. The shadow moving to and fro with the rhythm only deepened his agony. He could no longer differentiate between reality and the truth. He seemed to be delirious. He was subconscious and what happened next was something he could not explain or never actually remember to help him explain.
The beautiful morning had lost its charm. It was no longer enchanting and alluring to Neil. It was a relief from the horror of the night but Neil knew it was momentary. The sun would soon be set and a new phase of nightmares would begin. A caliginous gloom had overtaken the forlorn child.
“Come and have your breakfast son”. Neil ‘s thoughts were disrupted by his father. Mridul, an MBA holding a respectable position in an MNC was not a real winner in the eyes of his son. He who was worshipped for his innovative ideas at the office was thought of as a sinner by his own son. Some part of Neil, however, had loved his father always because fate had left him with no choice. Neil’s mother had died in a car accident when he was 5 years old. The entire credit does not go to fate because some part of Neil loved his father for some reason of which he himself did not exactly know. “Just a minute dad, I am brushing my teeth” said Neil and hurried up. He was soon on his regular chair sitting opposite his father. The routine had always been the same for both of them. The breakfast was followed by their way towards their destinations. The ways that were different but somehow similar. One went to the office and the other to an institution that would make him capable of joining an office someday. It was while breakfast that Mridul noticed the dark circles under his son’s eyes. The dullness in him added to his despair. This was a matter of concern for Mridul, the only parent with a whole load of responsibilities. He questioned Neil in perplexity, “Son, you seem to be very exhausted. Is everything fine with you? Are you having trouble at school or with any of your friends?”. Neil was quiet for a while as if he was falling short of words. At the back of his mind he was constantly murmuring, “Dad i have tried telling you but you did not believe me. I know you would never believe me.” The only words he could come up with were, “Dad I am fine. I have been working on some school assignments that make me look drained and weary.” Neil had been holding the last piece of bread and with that last bite, the discussion also ended. A boy and a man were done with the words. Had there been a lady, the discussion would have surely gone far. If Neil’s mother were not in the other world, she would have held her son’s hand, hugged him, kissed him and showed belief in even his imaginary stories if that would have made him smile. It is a woman endowed with that eternal love and such exquisite emotions that make her so special. She is a gift…a gift that was missing in both Neil and Mridul’s life. They had to move on their own. They were men more practical, less weak and they both understood it well.
Neil returned from school. Mridul had not come home yet. The office ended late night. It was usually around 9 pm that he came home. Neil had become used to spending time alone. He was 10 years old. The other kids of his age made themselves busy in fun and frolic with pals after school but Neil was different. He did not have many friends and mostly he took to books. He was a reader with great taste. The books offered him a world that he could not even dream of otherwise. It was books that let him feel like a prince, touch the clouds, explore the oceans, run across the deserts and holiday at exotic places. It was books that allowed him to fly and be a superhero, Spiderman one day and Batman the other. Above all it was books that let him experience the love of a mother for her child and the joy of being a family, the joy that was missing in his life. The books to him were an escape from the harsh realities of life.
The clock had struck 8. His dad would be home in about an hour and Neil was looking forward to him, less out of love and more out of fear, the fear from the unknown. The shadow he had seen and the voice that followed him and that echoes in his mind all the time. He tried watching the television but it seemed futile because he was scared and his heart was still pounding. He closed his eyes and repeated the names of all the Gods he had heard of. Suddenly he heard a whisper in his ears, a voice unclear, unintelligible but of a woman. It felt like a woman and Neil fainted.
Mridul came home just to see his little son lying on the bed. There were water droplets around him. A glass half filled with water was kept on the nearby table. Mridul was wondering why he had fallen asleep without having dinner. He called out to him “Neil, wake up. You must eat dinner before you sleep”. Neil woke up alarmed and dismayed. He had turned pale and it did not go unnoticed. Mridul was not able to understand the reason behind his son’s distress. He decided to do something about it. He thought of calling the doctor in the morning. He served dinner and told his son to rest. He did not sleep properly that night because his son was in despair. Neil could also not sleep as he dreaded the shadows, the shadows of that woman. He could feel her near him but he wondered why she was here? Why she bothered him? Why is not God answering his prayers? Why his dad does not believe him? Why was it happening to him? WHY? He could only shed tears as his why had no answers and he seemed to be doomed. Sleep was miles away from him. He was thinking about the things that happened with him today. He had fainted on the sofa while watching television and was back on the bed in his room when he woke up. He pictured how dad might have reacted. How he might have put his arms around him, snuggled him and placed him back in bed. The very thought of dad encircling him with his arms made him happy even in that moment of horror and fear.
The darkness was at its best. The night was wide awake and so were they, the father and the son, both having words to say yet both quiet and the silence between them complementing the silence of the night.
Chapter Two
Mridul had seen 39 springs till now and had grown every year. His career had blossomed just like the daffodils. He was high in stature and was not a fellow with swarthy countenance. Unlike the tall, dark and handsome adorable men he was fair complexioned but he was charming. He had been an eligible bachelor in his times. His marriage to Riya had broken ample of hearts. The women wanted to cuddle and caress him gently. He had that thing about him that was attractive. The reason why women wanted to woo him was his indifference to them. He was callous and impassive. His apathy yet made him a prize worth winning. He was a trophy of honor for them, a trophy worth a try. While other men flirted around and some even had a couple of flings, he was busy working or spending time with family and friends. It was not that he was not social. He was companionable and amiable but he kept a distance with women. He thought affairs were bad and that he had no time for getting engaged with any woman. His coldness made him seem less compassionate but he had a heart just like the others. He respected woman, adored them and worshipped their chaste. He somehow understood love deep down his heart but he never showed it to anyone. It was like a door that had been bolted. His heart had treasures inside but to the outside world it was empty. It is ironic but what you show is sometimes what people around you see. Your silence to them is unfriendliness. Your non communication sometimes makes you egoistic. They fail to understand you and you are automatically misunderstood. This continues until you find that someone who sees the real you but not everybody is favored by the lady luck and blessed with that someone.
Mridul was an ambitious man. To him life was a battle and he was adamant on fighting back till the end. He had struggled all through his career and had emerged as a successful person with fruitful results. He was not an IIM Graduate but he aspired to be among the top management professionals. He had dreams and he laid foundations for them. His labor did not go waste. His dreams came true and he lived them. A mere graduate with a correspondence MBA had made it to the top brass. He was now the National Sales Manager in a pharmaceutical MNC, Deca.
Today was another challenging day for him. The sole decision rested on him. He was to decide whether to enter into a contract with the new emerging firm, Promax or not. A million dollars were at stake. There was no place for error. A wrong decision could cost him his career. His dedication for work and his skill would all go in vain. He imagined how he would even face himself. He imagined the worst. In his mind he was seeing people ridiculing him, mocking at him and there scornful contempt breaking him into a million pieces, a single failure becoming the blemish on all his achievements and his worst nightmare coming true. He was interrupted in his thoughts by his subordinate, Mr. Shukla, “sir, here are the reports you had asked for. The shares of Promax seem to rise but nothing is so certain.” Mridul hardly noticed his enthusiastic face and replied “Thank you Mr. Shukla. Now you may leave and let me make the decision”. He went through the reports, the various statistics and the like which are all greek to some. He was no greenhorn. He knew what he had to do. He added meaning to numbers by interpreting them in different ways. He sat on his chair pondering over the entire matter. Somewhere in his mind was his son too and his despair. There were moments when he wondered was his son fine? The doctor had said he would be after some period of rest. What must he be doing? Had the dark circles lightened a bit today? Or were things to go worse. The pressure at work and about his son’s illness overburdened him. He felt debilitated and weak.
Chapter three
Mridul returned home exhausted and burned out. He saw Neil sitting on the couch watching TV. He was engrossed in The Tom and Jerry Show. The smile on his face and the sounds of laughter that filled the room from time to time showed Neil was in a different world. A world of fiction that was much more pleasing than the reality. He could not get his eyes off Neil. After a long time he was seeing that smile and his own troubles seem to be lightened. Mridul sat next to him and said, “I am delighted to see you son. It is good to see that smile on your face again”. “yes dad! I am feeling better today”. Neil was talking to himself at the same time, “She was not here today dad. The shadow was gone. The lights did not go dim by themselves. The door did not make that creaking sound. The coldness had faded away. It was not spooky anymore. I feel free dad. I feel rejuvenated.” The latter words were not to be spoken in front of his dad. He trusted they would mean nothing to him. Neil hardly gave it a try to have words with his father. He had failed once or twice when he tried but he had given up. The human nature is so unpredictable. Sometimes one realizes what one wants but one does not accept that fact. We wait for miracles to happen. We forget putting in our efforts to make them happen. The adults at times fail to understand this commotion of feelings in a heart then Neil was just a kid. It was not all his fault.