This poem was based on a children’s story my dad made up for me and my brother about a cowboy who… I can’t tell you that! It’d ruin the punchline!
But it’s about a cowboy anyway, and my kids, and the kids I go camping with, know the gag now and love shouting out the line.
I hope you read it to your children and I hope they enjoy it as much as mine did.
Cowboy Dave
by The Author
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2011 The Author
For more information on The Author and his work please visit:
COWBOY DAVE
Once, long ago, in America,
which was known as the Wild Frontier,
most of the people were happy,
but lots of them lived in fear.
For outlaws roamed these untamed lands
they were people who wouldn’t behave,
And the worst of them all was a mean old man
who was known as Cowboy Dave.
Cowboy Dave was a ruffian,
who rode on a horse called Stitches,
He wore a 20 gallon hat,
and he kept two guns in his britches.
He would march to the home of a settler,
and barge his way in through the door,
then sit himself down
and stamp on the ground
and say “Make me my dinner or… else.”
And because the people were scared of him
they’d have no choice but make dinner
For the bully who called himself Cowboy Dave,
that wretched, horrid sinner.
But one day, Dave rode to the house
of Billy the Brave town sheriff.
When he got to the door,
Bill clenched his jaw,
and said “Get out of here and if …
I see you again
around these parts
there’s gonna be loads of trouble.
Have I made myself clear?
You’re a bully, you hear!
Now go! Get away! On the double!”
Well Dave looked at Billy
and Billy looked back
But no-one else dared to stare.
Billy and Dave were going to draw
and the last one out,
was out of there!
Dave leapt to his feet, with a snarl and a frown,
He whipped out his guns, but his pants fell down!
The people cheered,
the people laughed
and Dave was driven from town.
He felt so ashamed,
so he packed up his things
and left without a sound.
And the people cheered for Billy,
who embarrassed that horrible bully.
Dave wandered in the wilderness
alone, without a plan,
when he came across the native folk,
and their aging Medicine Man.
“Help me please,” said Cowboy Dave,
“I really don’t mean to be bad.
but I’ve hustled and muscled and rustled and tussled,
all my life,
I’m alone.
I’m quite sad.”
The Medicine Man was wise and caring,
“I understand,” he said.
“Here wrap this strap around your waist
No, no there, round your waist
not your head.”
With a little instruction, Dave understood
and he tied up the belt round his waist.
“This will help you be good,
and behave like you should.
Now go, get on home, make haste!”
But Dave was scared to go back home,
“What will I do when I get there?”
“No-one will mind,” said the medicine man,
“You’ll find good people always care.”
“Ok,” said Cowboy Dave,
who was feeling all happy and hearty.
“I will go home
and to show them I’ve grown
I’ll think I’ll throw them a party.”
And so he did.
The Cowboy’s Dance
Now grab your partners by the hand
Swing them round, don’t that feel grand
Stamp your foot down in the sand
And swing your partners round and round
The Cowboys dance is once a year
It’s held in a big barn yard
And all the people jump and cheer
‘Cause enjoying yourself just ain’t that hard!
So grab your partners by the hand
Swing them round, don’t that feel grand
Stamp your foot down in the sand
And swing your partners round and round
All the cowboys grab a girl
And the cowgirls grab a guy
Now swing them round and round the world
Then raise your knee and slap your thighs
And grab your partners by the hand
Swing them round, don’t that feel grand
Now stamp your foot down in the sand
And swing your partners round and round
Now have a big long gulp of juice
And return to the floor to dance some more
What’s good for the gander is good for the goose
Let’s dance until our feet get sore
And grab your partners by the hand
Swing them round, don’t that feel grand
And stamp your foot down in the sand
Then swing your partners round and round
For the end of the dance you smile and bow
Hold hands before you leave the floor
Then throw your hat high in the air
And shout real loud: YEEE – HAW!!!!!
Cowboy Dave was written by an anonymous British author who believes the world could be a significantly better place and spends his time writing things he thinks will help make it so.
Watch out for When Phil Met Bill, a new novel by The Author.
Connect with The Author:
www.facebook.com/whenphilmetbill
"There is intelligent design, but we are the designers"