Love Rubi
(Censured version)
By
Eveli Acosta
Copyright 2011 by Eveli Acosta
ISBN: 978-1-4659-3319-5
Smashwords Edition
Published by Eveli Acosta at Smashwords
Photo on Cover
Dave & Les Jacobs/Blend Images/Jupiterimages
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
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Books written by Eveli Acosta can be obtained either through Smashwords, the author’s website:
http://acostaeveli.blogspot.com/
Or through select, online book retailers.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Table of Contents
Bad News & Bad Timing
Over the summer everything changed. Everything that is, except for me. I was still the same person. My best friend, on the other hand, was taken to the mall without me. We always did everything together. We had been inseparable since the 1st grade. We even shared our clothes or bought matching outfits. I would always buy the pink and she the blue. This time was different; she had to buy something that I obviously didn't need - a bra.
I was surprised that meant the end of our friendship. How could that be? Well, she went to the mall and bought her stupid bra. Who did she run into at the mall and at the same shop? She ran into other girls from our school. They were all there together buying the same thing. They invited her to a movie afterwards. That was the end of me and my best friend. She forgot about me. She never came over or called me anymore. When I would call she was either out with her big group of friends or they were at her house. I was never invited over.
I wasn't going to sit around and be sad about my lost friend. Lost for me but found for others. Who was I kidding? I missed her lots. A few weeks went by, and then I received a party invite. An almost end of summer party at a house with a pool - a pool! That meant bathing suits. That meant girls in bathing suits. Girls whose bodies would fill in the bathing suits in certain areas mine would not. Should I go?
If I could find a bathing suit, a perfect bathing suit that would make me look good; I would definitely go. I asked my mom to take me to the mall and she said she would. I started to get dressed. I realized that I needed more than a bathing suit. My pants didn't fit right. They were at my ankle and my tops were a little tight. Since I hadn't gone out much, I hadn't noticed that I had grown out of my clothes. I was taller. That made me happy because if I was growing, that meant that soon, I would have to buy a bra too.
It would be soon but not soon enough. Not fast enough for the party. I wasn't going to let that get me down. I had to go buy new clothes and a new bathing suit. That was all I was allowing myself to think about. I tried on a lot of bathing suits and didn't like any of them. My mom brought me some Levi's that fit me good. I noticed I had a waist and hips. That was different. I had never looked at my body the way I was looking now. In the dressing room, with the long mirrors, it was easy to see my body all around.
Who needs a bra when I have hips? I thought to myself. My mom brought me another bathing suit and took the rest of them. It was backless and looked good. It had a black and white pattern with a halter neck. I was going to take this one. I was taller, leaner and had the perfect hips for this bathing suit. I showed it to my mom. She smiled and told me I looked more grown up. That, of course, made me even happier.
The day of the party, I got ready. I wore a white cotton dress with my bathing suit underneath. That way, when it was time to go in the pool, I could just take my dress off and jump in. Since I had grown it fit me short which was perfect. The dress had embroidered flowers on the top with spaghetti straps. It was form fitting up to the waist then pulled out with slight billowing. I wore flip flops with it and had my hair pulled up in a high pony tail.
I wanted to get noticed by my former best friend and her group. I knew that they would be there. I wanted to show them that there was no need for their prejudices and that I could care less about them. Once I got there, I forgot all about them because I felt good about myself. I was confident and comfortable in my own skin. There was more to life than bras and breasts. There was friendship and love and happiness. Why did I want her to be my friend anyways? She was evidently not a good friend. She was disloyal and prejudice. So as I walked in, I waved goodbye to my old life with my old best friend and said hello to my new life with the unexpected.
Almost everyone was there, those of us who were going to start 6th grade in a month. I noticed that I was the only one in a dress and I was turning heads. I was turning the wrong heads, the boy’s heads. This was weird. Boys never noticed me before. Everyone there was either in shorts or cutoff jeans and t-shirts. There were kids lounging around in the living room. The guests spilt over to the patio and out to the pool. Nobody was in the pool yet. A few were in the kitchen getting drinks and snacks. This house was big, bigger than mine. The living room was easily two of mine.
I noticed someone walking up to me from the corner of my eye. It was Billy. Why would Billy come up to talk to me? He never had before.
"Hey, what's up?" He asked with a grin.
"Nothing," I answered shyly and confused at the same time. I wasn't used to talking to boys.
"Do you want something to drink? The drinks are in the kitchen." He told me leading me there.
I wasn't paying any attention to him or anyone else. My eyes were wandering. I was overwhelmed by the house. It was Gabriela's house. She was Billy’s cousin, the prettiest girl in our grade and also rich. She never wore the same thing twice. Always wearing what the teen magazines said was the trend of the moment. Her hair was always done up and her nails were always polished. She was nice. She talked to everybody but she was part of the group of girls who had taken my ex-best friend.
"Be careful." Billy told me as he took my hand. I noticed I was about to bump into a side table or maybe I did. The lamp was wobbling and Billy steadied it. "This way," he told me.
I was a bit clumsy probably because my head was always in the clouds. I was always thinking about something or day dreaming. As a consequence, I would bump into things or walk right into walls. Usually it happened when I was alone, not in front of a large crowd. Billy didn't let go of my hand. He kept giving me side glances probably wondering if I was okay.
We got to the kitchen and Gabriela, who was there, gave me a cup of punch. I was not about to drink punch unless I had a straw. I always ended up with a mustache and that was not going to happen today. She noticed Billy holding my hand.
"Are you two dating?" She asked out of curiosity.
Everyone who was standing at ear shot turned to hear the answer. I got embarrassed and tried to loosen my hand from Billy's. He was not having that and held it tighter. He was squeezing so hard it almost hurt. I stared at him hoping he would let go.
"Yes." He said proudly. How could he say that? What was wrong with him? My mouth just fell open in shock. He turned to look at me and smiled. I shut my mouth turned to Gabriela and smiled at her.
She asked, "Since when?"
"Since, I got here apparently." I answered toneless. I just gave into his nonsense. She looked at me confused but just shrugged. She turned to the others and started back with her previous conversation.
Billy had a big smile on his face but I was not going to let this go. He led us outside. His grip had loosened. I couldn’t take my eyes off his face. I was trying to figure out what I knew about Billy but I didn't know him at all. I knew who he was, everyone knew that, but he had never been in any of my classes. The majority of us had grown up together since kindergarten. There were a handful of newcomers and a few had moved away.
All I knew was that we had to talk. I wasn't ready for a boyfriend. What did that mean anyway? What were we supposed to do? The only thing I knew for sure was that dating meant kissing and my lips were not going anywhere near his. Why didn't I say no? Now he thinks that I like him. Do I like him? I probably wouldn't have to ask myself that if I did. I didn't like any other boys. I think. How did this even happen? Why did it happen to me? Was anybody else dating?
We were out by the pool by now and he was still holding my hand. We were out of everyone's hearing range so I turned to talk to him. I had to be honest with him.
"Billy," I said. He turned to look at me with a smile and I felt something. What was that? Like a pain in my stomach. "Um, I have to go to the bathroom."
"Do you want me to show you where it is?" He asked.
"Yes, please. Now," I urged.
"Are you okay?" He asked concerned.
"I don't know. Something seems wrong." I said.
Billy led the way through the living room and up the stairs. Wouldn't there be a bathroom downstairs? I just followed him. We got there quickly.
"I'll be right outside." He told me.
"Okay." I said as I went in. I felt the pain again but it wasn't a bad pain just a weird feeling. I quickly undid my bathing suit keeping my dress on and sat down. I had my dress folded up at my waist and stared at my suit. I wasn't expecting this. Not today. My twelfth birthday was in a couple of months but I was certain of what was happening. There was a small red stain on my suit. I had started my period. Luckily, it had not ruined my bathing suit but I wasn't home. I didn't know where anything was here. My mom told me this was going to happen. I had been expecting it but I thought it would happen later, a lot later.
Some of my cousins had told me when it happened to them. One was thirteen. Another said she was fifteen. My oldest sister was ten and my other sister said she didn't remember. How could she not remember? I was eleven and I was in someone else's bathroom. Billy was waiting for me outside. Billy was outside and he was my boyfriend, my five minute boyfriend. I could ask him to help me. I covered myself with my dress and took my bathing suit all the way off.
"Billy," I called him timidly. "Can you come in, please?"
Everything is okay, I told myself. He has sisters he knows about these things.
"What?" He asked bewildered from the hallway.
This is not going to be easy. Take a deep breath and talk louder. I told myself.
"Billy, please come in." I said with determination.
He didn't answer but the knob turned slowly and he peeked in at first.
"Get in here." I told him gesturing with hand.
"What's wrong? Do you need toilet paper?" He asked still confused and now nervous. He came in shut the door and was looking away from me. This was so awkward. I wished I still had my best friend with me. This would be so much easier. I took another deep breath.
"No Billy," I told him. "I started my period. It's my first time so I don't have anything with me. I need you to bring me a pad or something. Do you think you could do that? I know this is awkward and, believe me, I'm completely embarrassed. But I need your help Billy."
"No problem. I think they have some in this bathroom." He turned to the sink and opened a drawer. I knew it! He knows about this stuff. I'm so happy he has sisters.
"Don't be embarrassed this is nothing out of the ordinary for me." He walked up to me and handed me a tampon. "I'll wait for you outside."
"Umm, Billy," I said nervously as he was walking away.
"What is it?" He asked.
"Where are the instructions? I don't know how to put this on." I said timidly.
"Oh." He went back to the drawer and pulled a piece of paper out from the box. By the time he turned back around I was crying. He was being so nice and understanding. Even so, I was still completely embarrassed. "What's wrong? Are you having cramps? I could bring you some aspirin."
"No. It's just that this is so awkward and I wish I had a girl with me instead of you. More like, I wish my mom was here." I told him.
"Oh, do you want me to get my aunt?" He asked.
"No." I told him a bit too loud.
He looked at me concerned. I felt bad so I told him I was fine. He took my bathing suit, balled it up and walked out. I was too confused to ask him what he was doing. Luckily I had brought extra clothes with me. I slid on my underwear and a pair of jeans under my dress. I stayed in there a little longer to calm my nerves. I heard a slight knock on the door. I went to open it and it was Billy.
"Are you better now?" He asked.
"Yes. Thank you." I told him awkwardly and gratefully.
"Do you want to go back down to the pool or do you want to go home?" He asked me. "I have your bathing suit in the washing machine. I told my aunt. I hope that's okay. She was wondering why I was using the washer."
"Yeah, it's okay. We could go back down to the pool." I told him with a smile.
"Once your suit is ready, you could come back here to change and we could swim a little." He said hopeful.
"Yeah, that sounds good." I told him and this time I took his hand. He smiled at me and with that I felt a million times better.
"Rubi, you look very pretty today." He said as if nothing else had happened. "I'm not the only one who thinks that. That's why I hurried to you when you got here before anyone else took you."
"Well, I hope this doesn't sound corny but I'm glad it was you." I told him and kissed him on the cheek. I felt very grateful of Billy at the moment and I wanted him to know.
As we were heading down stairs, his aunt came up to me. She seemed concerned and pulled me into a bedroom to talk to me. She was very kind. I was very happy that she took the time to talk to me. After that, I headed back out with Billy. I was feeling a bit self-conscience about the whole experience but Billy was cool. He acted as if nothing happened. I wondered what sort of things he had to do for his sisters besides getting the toilet paper.
I know my dad hated it when I asked him to get me some when I was already in the bathroom. He would have a fit and yell at my mom. He didn't even like me to come out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. After I showered, I was supposed to come out completely dressed. But who wants to get dressed in a steamy bathroom. I liked to lie down for a bit in my towel, to relax, before the actual dressing ritual. I could only do that if my dad wasn't home.
That was the bad thing about living in a small house - the bathroom. The only bathroom was smack dab in the middle of the house. It didn't matter where you where you could see who was coming in and out of the bathroom. Well, except from the kitchen, a bedroom at either side of it. The bathroom was facing the living room and the front door. So if someone came over as I was stepping out of the bathroom, in my towel, the visitor would see me. Then I would have to run to my brother’s bedroom instead of my own because it was the only bedroom door that had a bit of coverage. That was always embarrassing, especially if it was the pizza guy.
"What have you been up to this summer?" Billy asked interrupting my reverie.
"Um, I haven’t done anything at all. What about you?"
"Really, you haven't done anything this summer?"
"Well, I use to hang out with Aidé but she stopped hanging out with me so now, nothing really." I told him with a shrug.
"Why?"
"She has tons of friends now. She doesn't need me anymore." I said bitterly.
"Oh," was all he said. I wasn't going to let Aidé get me down. So I smiled at him and asked him about his summer again. But a group of his friends came towards us before he got to answer.
"Billy, we heard you have a girlfriend now. Why don't you kiss her?" One of the boys challenged. I knew him from school but I didn't know his name. Just like Billy, he had never been in a class with me.
"Yeah Billy, we dare you to kiss her." Another boy said. This is why everybody knew Billy. He never passed up a dare. They were all laughing and I shrunk back in my seat. I had never kissed a boy before and this is not how I wanted my first kiss to be.
Billy grinned at them and looked at me. He was going to do it. I was beyond nervous. I was more than scared. I am very sure that my expression was showing this. Billy stood up facing me. The boys got excited. Then suddenly he turned towards them and pushed two boys into the pool, a third pulling Billy in with him.
They were all laughing. I was so relieved. Billy waved at me from the pool. I just smiled at him. Then he started to mock fight with the other boys in the pool. Everybody was looking our direction now. At least all eyes were on the boys and not on me. I slipped out of there and back into the house before more dares were brought up.
When I got inside, Billy's aunt gave me my suit. I put it in my tote and decided it would stay in there. There was a movie playing in the living room so I decided to watch it.
"Hi Rubi," Aidé said as she walked past me. I was about to answer her but she just kept walking. I should confront her. This was stupid. How could we have been best friends for so long and then nothing? No, I wasn't going to do that. I didn't care. Well, I did care but I shouldn't.
"Rubi, I heard about you and Billy." Mayra told me now that I was sitting.
"I shouldn't care what her reasons were." I muttered stupidly. Oops. I hope she didn't catch that.
"What?" She asked confused.
"Nothing, sorry, what did you say?" I asked her smiling hoping she didn't think I was a moron.
She asked me cautiously, "You and Billy, how?" She was looking at me weird.
"Oh, me and Billy," I said timidly wanting to change the subject. This was going to get old. "He was taking me to the kitchen to get something to drink. I almost knocked over a lamp. So, he took my hand. Gabriela noticed that we were holding hands and asked if we were dating. Billy said yes but . . . we . . ."
I wanted to tell her that we weren't dating. That he wasn't my boyfriend but the words didn't come out. I had given her the explanation in a rush but when I was going to finish I couldn't. She was smiling at me.
"What?" I asked her annoyed.
"You like him. He's your boyfriend." She told me and I smiled. I couldn't deny that. I did like Billy. "Are you happy?"
I just nodded then hid my face in my knees embarrassed. She started to giggle. This was so weird. I had never liked anybody before. And my stomach felt weird. I don't think that it was the conversation or Billy that was making my stomach feel like this. Mayra nudged me. I looked up and Billy was looking at me from outside. I got up and walked towards him.
"Are you ok?" He asked me.
"No, I think I better go. I don't feel that great."
"Oh. Do you want to call your mom?"
"No. I came walking. I could walk back."
"You walked over here?"
"Yeah, it's no big deal."
"My aunt can take you home. Just, hold on."
I walked back towards Mayra and sat on the arm rest of the sofa.
"What's wrong Rubi?" Mayra asked me.
"I don't feel good. I think I better leave. Billy is going to ask Gabriela's mom to take me home."
"Are you sure?"
"I started my period." I whispered to her.
"Oh." She said understanding.
Billy came back with his aunt and she drove me home. I waved goodbye and went into my house. My mom asked me if everything was okay and I told her what happened. She looked at me as if she was getting bad news. Well, it was bad news and bad timing. I went to my room to sulk.
I Have a Boyfriend
Today was a new day - a good day. Why? I didn't know. I just knew that from this day forward I wouldn't sulk. I was no longer in mourning for my friend. I was going to go to Jr. High soon anyways. Might as well learn to grow up and change friends now.
Today was Saturday; I always watched cartoons all morning. My siblings didn't care because they slept in. There's supposed to be perks to being the youngest in a family. I guess having the TV just for you on a Saturday morning was one of them. Of course, the disadvantages are not being able to stay awake with them until late hours of the night.
My mom was making pancakes for me - yummy. When the others woke up and found none, that would definitely be bad. Right now I didn't care. They didn't like that my mom always spoiled me. My sisters were in high school. The older of the two Abril, who was seventeen, was going to be a senior this fall. The other Ilaria, who was sixteen, was going to be a junior. My brothers, Martin the oldest who was twenty-two and Silvio who was twenty, were already out of high school. One was in college and the other was working. They all lived at home.
A week from now, though, we would have a few more people in our house. My uncle had recently separated from his wife. My mom invited him to stay with us until he got back on his feet. Instead, he was sending my cousins. He was going thru a tough time and my so called aunt didn't want her kids with her. I had two twin girl cousins younger than me, Valeria and Valentina. I hated that they named them almost the same. Wasn't it bad enough that they were twins? I just hoped that they weren’t the kind of twins that dressed exactly the same. I was also hoping that they didn't get on my nerves.
The oldest wasn't coming. She decided to stay home with her dad to cook and clean for him. The girls were probably going to go to 3rd grade. They were eight or nine. My cousin Fabian would probably be in Jr. High. He was a year and a half older than me, thirteen.
I already knew him and I liked him. I hadn't seen him since I was eight. He came down with one of my aunts that didn't have any kids. They spent the summer with us. We played together all summer. Of course, he made me play boy games. We would catch lizards together. He showed me how to make a rubber band gun. We would shoot at cats and birds. Once, we shot at a bee hive. They chased us and we ran into the house. We were laughing so hard it hurt. We never did that again.
I had so much fun that summer. I remember Aidé didn't like him. She had gone on vacation that summer with her family. She stayed at her aunt's house even though her parents came back. When she got back, a couple of weeks before school started, she was mad at me because my cousin was always with us. So she stayed away and would only come over when Fabian would go out with my brothers. That was the only time we had been apart. I didn't care back then and I was really happy Fabian was coming back.
There was also Sofia, she was 16. I didn't like her. She had a way of talking that she could insult you even when she would just be asking for toothpaste. It was like there was a double meaning in everything she said. Or it was the look she was giving you when she spoke. I don't think she was planning to go to school though. She had already finished school. Since she wasn't going to a university, she didn't feel the need to prepare for it in a preparatory which is a stepping stone to a university in Mexico.
I already shared a bedroom with my two sisters and now, we were going to add three more girls into the room. It was going to be chaos. Two twin brats that were going to want to play with me and Sophia. Just her name says it all. I wonder if my sisters even liked her. She would probably take a bed all to herself.
I was probably going to have to walk the twins to school. The worst part was that the twins didn't speak English. I was not looking forward to next week. I wondered how they would be around the cocktail bunch.
Every Friday my parents go out for cocktails. They get together with other couples. They also get together for other special occasions. So they leave all the kids in one house. The parents rotate houses every Friday. The kids called themselves the cocktail bunch. None of the cocktail bunch went to my school. The older ones are in charge of the younger ones. They don't do a good job. They just lock us up in a room while they, the older ones, do who knows what. When I was younger, I would get so bored I fell asleep early. I tried to sneak out once but one of my sisters caught me. I called her a traitor for two weeks straight. Next year, when I turn thirteen, it will be my year to finally find out what they do.
My parents come and pick me up. They let my brothers and sisters come home whenever they want. I'm never aware of what time they get back. On Saturdays, they all get together again, the older ones only, unless the parents have something going. They won't tell me what they do. It's probably nothing exciting but it's the not knowing that gets to me. I hate not knowing. It makes me feel like a little kid.
My brother Martin woke up and came into the living room. He was up early. It wasn't even ten yet.
"Good morning." I told him cheerfully. He looked at me annoyed and turned away. I started to laugh. He was still asleep. His hair was a mess. "My mom made pancakes. There's still a few left."
He turned to look at me quickly and was off to the kitchen. I started to laugh. I was flipping the channels and he snatched the control from me. Usually, I threw a fit and told. It was my only way to get them back for locking me up with the younger kids. Today I was bored so I let it pass. It took him awhile but he turned to look at me. He smiled at me pleased that I didn't throw a fit. I just sighed.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"I'm bored."
"Well, take a shower. I'll take you out."
"Really," I asked excited but unsure.
"Sure."
I ran to the room grabbed some clothes and ran to the bathroom. I took a quick shower and was back in the living room, dressed and ready in twenty minutes. Martin just laughed at me.
"Okay. I see you're ready. I'll be out in jiffy."
I was excited. Martin never took me anywhere. He was the oldest and the coolest. There was a big age difference between us though. Like ten years. He played with me when I was little but then started to ignore me when I got bigger probably because of Aidé. We were always together and he didn't like her. She developed a crush on my brother about three years ago. He didn't like to be around her because she would talk to him constantly. She would even paw at him. It got on my nerves too.
While Martin was getting ready, I heard a knock on the door. I went to get it and to my surprise it was Billy.
"Hi Billy, what are you doing here?"
"I came to hang out."
"Cool." I said forgetting my plans with Martin. He waved at his sister.
"Guillermo, háblame cuando quieras que venga por ti." His sister told him. ("Guillermo, call me when you want me to pick you up.")
"Okay." He answered. I invited him in.
"What did she call you?" I asked confused.
"Guillermo, that's my name."
"I thought it was Billy."
"Billy is a nickname, Rubi." He said annoyed.
"Oh," was all I said. I was still a bit confused. You know someone forever by a name that isn't even his. Guillermo, his name was Guillermo. I liked it. "Do you like your name?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Do you like it better than Billy?"
"I don't know. My whole family calls me Guillermo. At school, the teachers can't pronounce it. That's why everybody calls me Billy." He explained and looked at me weird. I couldn't understand his expression, "because Guillermo is Spanish for William." He said slowly. Oh, now I understood. He started laughing. "Do you have a nickname?"
"No. Rubi is easy to say and remember, I suppose."
"Rubiks, I'm ready. Let's go." Martin shouted from the bedroom. I forgot about that one.
"Rubiks," Billy asked with a smile.
"Yeah, only Martin calls me that. My middle name is Kristina. So he calls me Rubiks."
"Were you going somewhere?"
"You could come. I have no idea where. Martin just said he was taking me out. You will come, right?"
"Yeah," he said with a smile.
"Rubiks," Martin said as he was coming out of the hallway. "Oh, who's this?"
"Martin, this is my friend Billy. He's coming with us." I told him.
"Oh, okay. What's going on Billy?" Martin asked him. Billy just shrugged. "Did you tell mom?"
"Not yet. I'll be right back." I said and walked out thru the kitchen. My mom was outside washing.
"Ama, yo y Martin vamos a salir un ratito. ¿Está bien?" ("Mom, Martin and I are going out for a while. Is that okay?")
"¿Ya se despertó?" She asked and I nodded. "Dile que venga hablar conmigo. Le quiero encargar algunas cosas." ("Is he awake?" "Tell him that I need to talk to him. I want him to bring me a few things.")
I went back into the house and Billy was talking to Martin. I told Martin that mother wanted to talk to him. He went to go talk to her.
"Why didn't you tell him that I was your boyfriend?" Billy asked annoyed.
"What?"
"Rubi, don't you want to be my girlfriend?"
"Oh um," I couldn't answer. I hadn't seen him since the party.
"You told Mayra I was and you told her you liked me."
"I didn't tell her you were. I told her you said you were."
"But you do like me." He said smiling. I nodded. "I'm your boyfriend Rubi."
"Okay." I said confused. I still didn’t know what that meant. "But you never asked me. Besides, what's the difference between a boyfriend and a friend?"
He started to laugh at me. I was annoyed. Martin came back in and told me that we had to go grocery shopping. He had a list with him. He said we should do that first then we could go do something else.
So, we drove to the grocers. The funny thing about mom was that she didn't buy from the stores near our house. We had to drive to the middle of town. It was a half hour drive. That's why nobody liked to go grocery shopping with her. She always wanted to go to that particular grocery store. It didn't help issues that she didn't drive herself.
My mom had gotten into three or four car accidents with my father. After the third one, she stopped driving. Her nerves got the better of her. She walked instead. She took the bus when necessary. If anyone was home, she would ask for a ride. My brothers were usually the ones that got the task of driving mom. My sisters had barely gotten their licenses and my mom didn't want to risk a ride with them.
"Rubiks, Billy told me he was your boyfriend. Is that true?" Martin asked amused.
"That's what he keeps telling everyone." I said annoyed glaring at Billy.
"That's because I am." Billy said stubbornly.
"Because he is," I said flippantly.
Martin started to laugh.
After we went to the grocery store and dropped off mom's loot, we went to a mini amusement park. There was an arcade, mini golf, roller coasters and go karts. We went inside to play the arcades first. After a while, I got hungry and I went to the snack shop. I was waiting in line behind two boys in baseball uniforms. They were bragging to each other about the game they had just played.
I thought it was funny, funny that they came in their uniforms, even funnier how they were bragging. I started to giggle. They both turned to look at me. They both smiled.
"Hi." They both said at the same time.
"Hi." I told them.
"What's your name?" The boy with the number nine on his uniform asked me.
"Rubi," I said.
"What's so funny Rubi?" Nine asked.
"You," I said and giggled.
"What's so funny about us?" The boy with the number three asked.
"I don't know." I said giggling, "everything."
"You don't like our uniforms?" Nine asked.
"They're nice but very clean which is weird considering what you two were talking about. Shouldn't you be a little dirty? I mean, it almost seems like you two were in the dugout the whole time. Or maybe you’re the cheerleaders."
They looked at each other for a moment. Then suddenly, they both had smirks on their faces. I just looked at them with my arms crossed. I flaunted the same smirk. Whatever they had up their sleeve, I was ready to counter.
"I dare you to kiss her." Three told nine.
"I wouldn't take him up on his dare." I told nine.
"Why?" Three asked.
"I have a boyfriend and I don't think the two of you, being cheerleaders and all, could take him." I said making a small gesture with my hand.
They both started to laugh. I didn't let that bother me one bit. I kept my posture the same right down to the smirk. I had to show them that I meant what I said. I was bluffing and I wasn't about to fold.
"Do it." Three told nine.
I stood my ground. Nine was a bit hesitant but he started to move my way. I narrowed my eyes at him. I couldn't believe he was actually going to do it. I couldn't believe I actually wanted him to.
"Rubi," Martin called me. I turned to see him and Billy standing in the doorway. They were looking around. They didn't see me in line.
"Over here!" I shouted. Billy turned my direction and ran towards me. I turned around and saw nine take a step back.
"What's taking you so long?" Billy asked taking my hand but he wasn't looking at me. He was glaring at the boys. Three looked at nine and shook his head at him.
"Long line," I told him casually.
"You really do have a boyfriend?" Nine asked surprised. I just nodded. Billy grinned. He was probably happy that I had admitted it.
Both boys turned around to face the snack shop. I looked at Billy and asked him where Martin had gone. He told me that he went to get some tickets. The boys said something to each other and started to horse around. Billy leaned in to ask me if they had been bothering me. I just told him that it wasn't anything that I couldn't handle. He started to laugh. Then I told him that I was glad he had shown up. I told him that now it was twice that he came to my rescue. I kissed him on the cheek and he blushed. I laughed at him and caressed his face.
"Cut it out Rubiks." Martin told me suddenly appearing behind us.
"I'm not doing anything." I told him irritated.
I turned around and both boys were looking at me. I just turned away from the two boys until they turned back around. They got their snacks and sat down on one of the tables. I got something to drink and some cheese fries. Billy on the other hand bought nachos, a hot dog, a float and a slice of pizza. When he came to the table where Martin and I were sitting, with all his food, I started laughing.
"Where are you planning to put everything Billy?" I asked amused.
"In my mouth," he said grinning.
"I'm not getting on the roller coaster with you." I told him.
"I'm not even going anywhere near it if you get on." Martin told him.
"You're both overreacting." Billy said with his mouth full.
Martin and I started to laugh. After I finished my fries, with the help of Martin, we told Billy to catch up to us when he was done. We went towards the rollercoaster. That's when I saw the rest of them. The coach was walking to the tables with a bunch of boys in uniforms right behind him. I tugged on Martin and told him to wait.
"Bevan! Ruben! Let's get a move on." The coach told them gesturing to the go-karts.
They both stood up and walked towards me and Martin. They waved at me as they passed and followed their team.
"What was that about?" Martin asked.
"I was talking to them earlier. I just got scared that, now that the rest of the team was with them, they would mess with Billy."
"Were you flirting with them?"
"No. Just one of them dared the other to kiss me. I told him not to because I had a boyfriend. Then he laughed at me and was about to do it when Billy showed up. Oh and I was sort of making fun of them before that. I called them cheerleaders."
Martin laughed and tugged my arm so that I would start walking.
"Don't worry about Billy. They won't mess with him on account of you."
Billy caught up to us later and he seemed fine. He didn't look like he had eaten too much at all. He never even got sick. I had never seen him eat like that. Well, I hadn't actually seen him eat before. We had a lot of fun. I didn't see the other boys any more. We dropped Billy off at his house and on the way home Martin told me that he liked him. That Billy was alright. I laughed.
Sixth Grade
All of the sudden, I seemed to be the most popular girl in my grade. I was the first one to have a boyfriend. Even Aidé started to talk to me again. She didn't seem happy about it though. My cousin Fabian ended up in 6th grade with me. All the guys liked him and all the girls were in love with him. He was in my class but Billy wasn't.
My little cousins were just as I expected them to be, annoying. We walked to and from school together. Then they wanted to play with my toys. I ended up just putting all of them in a shed slash playhouse that my dad had built as a clubhouse for me. I told them they could play with them in there, so long as they left me alone.
Aidé tried to get me to invite her to my house so that she could be around Fabian. I laughed at her and told her that Fabian didn't like her. Which he didn't but I didn't have to tell her. I told her that he thought she was just as annoying as Martin thought she was. Then she started to cry. I didn't even feel bad about it either because I realized that she had just stayed friends with me to be around Martin.
Gabriela was just as cool as ever and would sit with me at lunch. I didn't like to be around her and her friends. I was never mean to her. I just told her that Aidé got on my nerves. I talked to and hung out with Mayra the most. Then I started to wish that I had been friends with her all along instead of Aidé.
Fabian switched schools mid-year. They bumped him up to 8th grade. It seemed like he took my new found popularity with him. Then I was very happy that I had chosen Mayra over Gabriela's crowd because even Gabriela stopped talking to me.
My twin cousins annoyed me less. The only thing that they bugged me for was my Barbie. I didn't want them to play with it. It was my favorite one. She was a beach Barbie. She was tan and had light brown hair. She had coral lips. She even came with a gold swimsuit. They had my other hand me down Barbie's to play with. That was the only one that I wouldn't let them touch.
Billy, who seemed to be over my house a lot, thought it was hilarious that I wouldn't even let them touch it. He didn't understand why I wouldn't let them play with it when I never did. I told him that it was my favorite one. He just didn't understand. I had an old ratty peach teddy bear on my bed as well. He asked me why that was my favorite. All the other toys were in the playhouse so that's why he knew it was my favorite.
I told him that it was my favorite because my dad found it. It was brand new and he gave it to me. That back then, before I was even eight, my parents couldn't afford to buy us hardly anything. My mom used the last of her money to buy me the beach Barbie. I remembered the mall and the store she bought it at. I remembered there was a fake Santa Claus passing out candy canes and that there was Christmas music playing on the speakers. I also remembered that I was staring at the beach Barbie when my mom found me.
Apparently, I was left behind at the mall and I didn't even realize it. When my mom finally remembered me, she came back to look for me. My mom and my siblings were on the bus at the time, about half way home. They got off the bus and waited for another to come back to the mall. My mom found me inside a store sucking on a candy cane, swaying to jingle bells and staring at the Barbie. She felt so bad for leaving me behind that she bought it for me even though she couldn't afford it. That was why it was my favorite one. She used up all her money to buy it for me. We couldn't even afford the bus ride home. We had to walk. My siblings were mad at me. I was happy.
The teddy bear was also special to me. I had seen it in the store a week before my dad gave it to me. I asked my mom to buy it for me. She said that it cost too much. My sister Ilaria also wanted one but once she heard what my mom said she took it back and put it on the shelf. The following week, after my mom had finished her grocery shopping, we were waiting in the van for my dad. He had gone to another store. A hardware store, I think. When he came back, he jumped into the van with a huge grin. He looked at me and handed me a peach teddy bear that was still wrapped.
My mom asked him how he was able to afford it. She told him that I had asked for it the week before but that it was expensive. He told my mom that he didn't know that I wanted it. He said that he found it and he thought of me. He thought of me when he saw it. So now every time I see my teddy bear, I remember that my dad thinks about me. That makes me smile.
Billy thought that I was too sentimental and he messed up my hair. I asked him if there was anything he had that was special to him. He said he did. Me. I almost started to cry when he said that. He laughed at me and told me that if I cried he would leave. I held my breath trying not to cry and he laughed. I couldn't help it, I laughed with him.
By March, my cousins had moved back with my uncle. They were pulled out of school. I wasn't even home when they left. I didn't even know that they were leaving. I never got to say goodbye. After school, I was waiting for my cousins. Almost everybody had left. I thought that maybe they had gotten detention. Billy and I went to their classroom to look for them. When we got there, I asked the teacher where my cousins were. She told me that they had been taken out of school by my mom and my uncle. That he looked like he was in a hurry. My mom told her that they were moving back to Mexico. I stared at Billy when she said that.
"What's wrong Rubi?" He asked me when we were out in the hallway.
"My Barbie," I shouted and ran home.
Billy followed me but he couldn't catch up to me. As soon as I got in the house, I yelled for my mom. I asked her where my cousins were. She told me that they had already left, that my uncle just came to get them and left. He had to leave quickly because he couldn't miss more than two days of work. When Billy got there I was asking my mom if my cousins went into my room. She told me that they did, that they left me a note on the bed.
"Noooo," I shouted.
Billy started to laugh. My mom was yelling at me asking me what was wrong with me. I ran into my room and there it was. A ransom note left by my cousins. I couldn't believe it. I held the paper in my hand and stared at my bed. The paper was blank but under it was my Barbie.
My mom came into my room and asked what was wrong. Billy walked in after her and gasped when he saw my Barbie on the bed.
"¿Qué paso? ¿Qué tienes?" My mom asked concerned. ("What happened? What's the matter with you?)
I lifted up my Barbie and showed it to her.
"¿Y la cabeza?" She asked. (“Where’s the head?")
"Mis primas se la llevaron. Se llevaron la cabeza. Que malas. Hubiera preferido que se la hubieran llevado completita. Pero nomas se llevaron la cabeza." I said sadly. ("My cousins took it. They took the head. They're mean. It would've been better if they would’ve taken the entire doll. But they only took the head.”)
My mom thought that the whole thing was funny. I told her that those little girls were evil. She left my room laughing. Who in their right mind just takes a freaking head? Billy just took my hand and sat me on the bed. I was so mad. Mad at my cousins. Mad at the Barbie. I stood up and dumped the body in the trash. Billy didn't say anything. He knew how important that Barbie was to me.
At the end of the school year, Billy gave me some bad news. He told me that his parents were getting a divorce. He said that he and his sisters were going to move to Colorado with their mom. I felt really bad. I hated that they were going to move. The only thing that I couldn't really get over was the fact that Billy was so sad. I'm sure he wouldn't have cared if they were just moving. It was the divorce that had him upset.
I hugged him and told him that I was going to miss him. He said he would miss me too but he said it emotionless. I wanted to make him feel better. I knew that I couldn't make him forget about his parents. I didn't know what to do. I started to caress his face and he looked at me smiling. Then he leaned down to kiss me.
I was surprised about how the kiss made me feel. It was as if I realized what love was. I looked at him when he pulled away from me. He smiled and I, without thinking, told him that I loved him. Then he grinned from ear to ear. I started to laugh. The next day, he was gone. I felt like my heart was breaking apart. I didn't understand why I felt that way. All I knew was that I would never forget him.
He's Back
Once I started high school, I only had a memory of Billy. I hadn't heard from him in two years but I hadn't replaced him. It was funny but I hadn't had another boyfriend even though he wasn't really my boyfriend. I was just his girlfriend to humor him really. I don’t think I'll ever forget the kiss. It was a first kiss and goodbye kiss in one - bittersweet.
I was afraid to start high school but my freshman year wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. I had been nervous about being in a big school, fitting in, wearing the wrong clothes and being teased. I quickly realized that there wasn't anything to worry about. My high school was just a bigger version of the junior high. There was just more elbow room in the halls. The junior high had narrow halls and you couldn't get from one class to another without bumping into people. I didn't have that problem here.
My high school had two lunch periods. I was in the first lunch period. Everyone I hung out with in Jr. High was in the second. I was being punished and forced to make new friends. I didn't mind being in the first lunch since I always skipped breakfast. By the time lunch period came along, I was starving. Even though the cafeteria food wasn't the greatest, it was food.
I didn't want to go to lunch alone that first day. I was in the same class as Aidé for 3rd period. She was the only person I knew in this class. I hadn't talked to her since 6th grade. I wasn't sure how to approach her. I was desperate though. I didn't want to be a loner. I took a chance and walked by her casually.
"Hi Rubi," she told me looking at me with an innocent expression. She was such a phony.
"Hi." I said unsmiling just her ‘hi’ got on my nerves.
"Could you believe that they put me in the first lunch? Gabriela and the crowd are in the second. This really sucks." She confessed. I started to laugh. I was really being punished.
"Yeah, I know what you mean. My friends are in the second lunch hour as well."
"You're in the first?" She asked happily.
"Yeah," I said and shrugged.
"Let's go together. I don't want to be stuck alone the first day. I haven't even really met anyone yet."
"Sure." I told her casually. Yes! I repeated in my mind.
I went to sit down. I didn't want to be her friend again but I was definitely willing to use her. I couldn't believe that she still hung out with the same crowd. The only person I still talked to from elementary school was Mayra only because she lived so close to me. That and we hung out together all through Jr. High.
I was doodling on my notebook when the boy who sat next to me cleared his throat. I turned to look at him and he gestured for me to get closer to him. I did. He asked me if I was friends with Aidé. I told him that we just knew each other. He heard that we were in the first lunch period and asked if he could join us. I told him he could but then I asked if he had other friends in the first lunch period as well. He said he did. Then I asked if, maybe, we could join them. He started to laugh and said yes. I told him I really didn't know Aidé anymore. Then he really started to laugh.
"Girl drama," he said. I just nodded and laughed with him.
When class was over, the boy and I walked out together. I never asked him his name and he never asked mine. Aidé caught up to us outside.
"Who's this?" She asked rudely. She had turned into a snob, "your new boyfriend?"
"We're going to hang out with him and his friends. You're cool with that, aren't you?" I asked her coldly.
"Oh, okay." She said nicely being fake and then smiled at him.
"This is Aidé." I told him.
"What's his name Rubi?" She asked demanding.
"I don't know. Ask him yourself." I told her upset. He started to laugh. She got embarrassed. Good. "Lead the way." I said gesturing for him to walk.
"Well?" She asked annoyed, looking at him. He was walking in-between us. I rolled my eyes.
"Excuse her. She's a jerk as you could see."
"Rubi," she shouted upset and annoyed. I started to laugh and so did the boy. "What's so funny?" She asked even more annoyed.
"Nothing," I told her flippantly.
"Girl drama," he said amused. "My name is Ruben."
"So, where are your friends?" She asked.
"What's the matter Aidé? You need to see his friends first before you decide whether or not you want Ruben?"
"Rubi, you're so embarrassing." She told me with her snobby tone. "That's why I stopped hanging out with you."
"Oh, I thought it was because you decided to finally come out of the snobby closet."
"Here we go." Ruben said amused rubbing his hands together as if he was awaiting something good. I started to laugh.
"Ugh!" She said annoyed. "I can't believe I'm stuck with you for lunch."
"So Ruben, what do you think of Aidé so far?"
"That's not fair Rubi. He hasn't seen me at my best yet."
"This is your best." I said. He started to laugh really hard.
"C'mon girls, play nice. There’s plenty, of me, for the both of you." He said playfully.
"Eww, I wouldn't share with Rubi." Aidé said disgusted.
"Just with everybody else," I said and Ruben high fived me.
"Whatever." She said and rolled her eyes.
We reached the cafeteria and bought our food. Ruben took us to his friends and introduced us. Aidé sat next to Ruben and he rolled his eyes. It seemed like he didn't like her anymore. He ignored her the rest of the lunch hour and spoke to me instead. That pissed her off. One of his friends had the same 5th period as me. Her name was Michelle and she was very funny.