#Conversationstoppers 2:
More Puns, Non Sequiturs, and Impossible Scenarios
by
Leon Shure
SMASHWORDS EDITION
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PUBLISHED BY:
Leon Shure on Smashwords
#Conversationstoppers 2:
More Puns, Non Sequiturs, and Impossible Scenarios
Copyright © 2011 by Leon Shure
Smashwords Edition License Notes
All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author's work.
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This book is dedicated to my sons, Mark and Jeffrey.
These #Conversationstoppers first appeared on my Twitter page at http://twitter.com\slistack I am also the author of the mystery, “Fatal Sisters” at http://goo.gl/9K81d on Smashwords “The Baba Yaga, a Dr. Adam Karl Mystery” at http://goo.gl/HWGw1 and “Screams and Bleeds, a Vanek Mystery” at http://goo.gl/Yps1g My first collections of #Conversationstoppers is at http://goo.gl/yPqhN
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#Conversationstoppers 2:
More Puns, Non Sequiturs, and Impossible Scenarios
•I only lie under oath when it’s absolutely necessary.
•I wanted to look nonchalant but ended up looking chalant.
•I had a choice. Commit adultery or buy a new HDTV. I couldn’t afford a new television.
•We need politicians, because we aren’t subjected to nearly enough obnoxious people in the workplace
•If you fear being in an enclosed place with Santa, you have Santa Claustrophobia.
•Please don’t tell anyone I’m a secret agent.
•I fix car bumpers. I’m a fender bender mender.
•If a print reporter has an inkling of doubt about a statement, would a blog reporter have a pixeling of doubt?
•He lived in Nome, took notes, smelled with his nose, and won the Nobel Prize.
•Surprised, the mathematician was nonplussed.
•When I decided it was time to buy an animal, I wrote a beast seller.
•I read the book, “Philosophy Can Be Fun,” by Harris Tottle.
•My blog, which covers philosophy and scandals of the very rich, is called “Heiress Tattle.”
•I wouldn’t be forced to cheat if the questions weren’t so hard.
•Yesterday I was shy and bashful. Today, I’m less shy and just bash.
•Yesterday I didn’t understand and was baffled. Today I understand a little better and am just baff.
•I’m for anything that enhances the looks of a pear, because I love a pear-aid.
•He said he was a pathological liar, so I don’t know whether he was telling the truth or not.
•He said he was a tuna, but he may have been Bluefin.
•Finding an asteroid, the astronomer felt, at least, alarm, at most fear.
•The day after tomorrow is the second day after the first day of the rest of my life.
•I read the book, “My Life at the Military Academy,” by Wesley Pont.
•Looking for just the right word that means the opposite of restful, I settled on “restive.”
•Ambitious, he thought of his audition at the Met as an opera-tunity.