Unrealized Ambitions & Other Stories
By Raja Sharma
Copyright@2011 Raja Sharma
Smashwords Edition
All Rights Reserved.
Chapter 1: Back to Social Cage
That must have been a strange day when she decided to take that unprecedented decision, for she had been silently bearing all the atrocities, without ever uttering a word of protest. Her fate had been sealed by her parents when she was sent away with a husband, double her age. His only virtue was his extreme richness. She had been suffering for long but now she had taken a strong decision to seek at least one day’s freedom from that social cage.
There was a parrot in a cage hanging in her bedroom. Her husband loved that parrot very much. The parrot used to imitate the sounds made by the inmates of the house. That day, immediately after waking up, she unlocked the door of the cage and freed the bird. The bird came out timidly but after a while it flew out of the window into a new world of liberty.
She had never tried to bring disrespect to her in-laws and her parents but the things had been quite unbearable of late.
She descended the stairs hurriedly and looked at the people sitting in the drawing room. They were having tea, busily talking about their problems of everyday reality, though most of the problems were their own creations but they were endeavouring to prove superiority over each other by coming up with instant solutions. She paused for a second and then began to whistle, not paying attention to the people there, almost behaving like a stranger. She began to walk towards the outer door.
When they saw her, they were shocked because she was in her night dress, hair disheveled, and face unwashed. She had never presented herself without a proper dress whenever she appeared in front of her father-in-law and other senior members of the Gupta family. She was the daughter-in-law and her sudden appearance there was shocking because the elders were supposed to be respected and she was supposed to cover her head with her shawl in front of them. But she did not pay attention to them and continued walking. Her whistling was the most shocking revelation to them.
She was in her mood, quite unknown to all of them. She came onto the porch and reached near the car.
Dolly Gupta remembered that as a child she had often been dominated by her elder brothers. They used to come out of the house together; they would be whistling while picking their bicycles to go to the football ground. She wanted to whistle too and go with them but they would pull her inside the house and lock her in a room. She used to remain in that room for many hours but her parents never tried to free her. Her mother, though a loving woman, loved her sons more and often neglected her. Dolly was supposed to behave like other girls but she was more interested in games and sports which boys played. As a result, she had to be caged, and sometimes beaten by her elder brothers and often by her mother. She could never say that childhood happens to be a glorious period in a person’s life. In fact, she wanted to erase every single memory of her childhood and find a new world for herself.
Now she was Mrs. Dolly Gupta, the wife of Mr. Ramesh Gupta, a very rich businessman. When she reached the car, she found that the car was locked. The car had been gifted to her for her services which she provided to her husband in bed, and she was not ashamed of that. She was happy that she was worth at least that much. She whistled again and gestured to her husband. He was supposed to come to her to give her the car-keys but today he did not get up from the sofa, maybe too timid to get up in the presence of his parents and other elders present in the drawing room.
Mr. Gupta looked worried and angry and he said, “What is all this? Why aren’t you dressed properly?”
She knew that he was trying to show his manhood in front of his people. She knew how much of a man he was! He licked her feet at night, licked her spit, and begged her on his knees. But, today, in the daylight he had changed his colours. Dolly wanted to shout at him and open his secrets loudly in front of the people present there but something held her back.
He came near her and got hold of her arm; though she tried to resist, he pushed her inside the house. She staggered and controlled herself. Her anger was beyond control and it burst out, “Bastard!” She slapped her husband very hard on his face. It was totally unexpected and he immediately retreated. Dolly kicked the car-door and ran towards the main gate.
“Guards! Catch her!” shouted Mr. Gupta.
Now Dolly began to run, beyond the reach of anybody. She did not want to be caught to be kept inside that house. She did not want to miss one day’s liberty. It had taken her many months to come to this decision. She was happy that it was her own decision and she was on her own, with no one to order or guide her.
Her former friends and relatives thought that she was very lucky, for she had found a very rich husband but she knew well how fortunate she was. Her impotent husband had treated her like an item that was kept on display in the rich society. The tag, Mrs. Gupta, had been forced upon her, though she was happy as Dolly.
Having left the house, she entered a congested locality and she did not know how many streets and by lanes she crossed. Since it was office going time, people were hurrying on their way, children were going to schools, and vendors were selling their goods on the pavements.
Dolly thought about women who must be washing, cleaning, or cooking in their houses, having suffered the physical torture given by their husbands. They were confined like her too. She spat angrily onto the ground. Suddenly, her eyes fell on a tea-stall by the road. She wanted to have a cup of tea. Women usually don’t visit such tea stalls because rowdies and eve-teasers crowd those tea-stalls whence they pass dirty comments to the girls and women passing by.
Dolly stopped in front of the tea-stall and said, “Give me a tea and a packet of biscuits.”
She did not mind the presence of the young men there and she began to hum. This particular act of hers was enough to convince the young men that she was not like other girls, she was really something. Some of them passed comments which she took very lightly.
The shopkeeper gave her a cup of tea and biscuits. She seated herself on a wooden bench and kept the tea on table in front of her. A fellow from a nearby table said, “Where are you coming from?”
“From her lover’s bed!” added another of the customers.
Dolly smiled and said, “Yes, you are right! But, how do you know?”
“We are your lovers too, will you come with us?” said one of them and caught her arm in his firm grip and kissed her hand.
Dolly replied, “No, not today. Some other day.”
“Give me a kiss and I will pay for the tea,” said one of them.
“No, you are too ugly for that,” said Dolly with a big smile and paid the tea-seller.
They went quiet because they had not expected such an answer from her.
Dolly continued her adventure and she did not know how many hours passed in this way. She did not know where she had reached; she was exhausted on account of continuous walking. She was habitual to driving her car through big roads and streets. She had never seen this world before.
Dolly’s marriage was the result of her parents’ choice. Mr. Gupta was almost double her age but he was extremely rich. She had protested but to no avail. After the marriage, she realized that her husband was not only older, but also not a good performer in bed. His body odour was disgusting and his breath stank. Dolly was forced to tolerate him. In return he would give her expensive gifts, and her car was also one of them. She wanted to run away, to fly like a free bird, to see the world through her own eyes, to meet people, to talk to them, to find someone who could understand her but the caged bird was literally caged in the social cage of parents’ respect, her in-laws prestige, and her inferiority of being a woman.
A cobbler was mending shoes sitting beside the road. She was tired so she sat down on a wooden box kept near the cobbler.
“Eh…what do you want?”
“Nothing, I am a bit tired,” said Dolly.
“Didn’t you find any other place to rest? Go away; if a policeman sees you, he will question me. Go away from here,” scolded the cobbler.
She did not move. The cobbler began to shout. A few passersby stopped there.
The cobbler pulled her hand and pushed her.
Dolly started to walk.
A voice called her, “You…listen!”
She turned.
“If you want to rest, come at night.”
Dolly laughed and continued walking. She understood what they had deduced from her night gown and loose hair. She was enjoying all that. Those social animals had just one notion in their minds if they say a lonely woman like her on the road. They were lower than animals. Dolly wanted to live those moments to the fullest.
After about twenty minutes she was standing behind a crowd of people. They were listening to a minister who was speaking from a decorated stage set on one side of the ground. It was very hot and people were sweating but they were listening very attentively to the minister, their representative in the government. Dolly could not stop herself and she climbed onto the raised platform. She pushed the speaker and controlled the microphone. She began to speak, “Brothers and sisters, don’t listen to this person. If you want to listen as a necessity, listen to your heart. This system, these people will never allow you to live your life happily. The time will pass in their speeches and one day they will die but then you will realize that you have never lived…” She wanted to continue but a few hands got hold of her and pushed her down from the stage. She got up and composed herself. She spat on the ground and started to walk.
The crowd was shouting and the powerful ones wanted to punish her.
A voice said, “Call the police! Who is this mad woman? Look how uncivilized she is!”
A well dressed man came forward and said to her, “Who are you?”
“Your mother!” shouted Dolly and ran away from there. Some people wanted to catch her and in the process a sleeve of her gown was torn. She fell down but she quickly got up and continued running.
Her knees were wounded and her right arm was in great pain. When she was at a safe distance from that place, she paid attention to herself and the surroundings. She was standing in front of a hospital.
She entered the hospital and registered her name to get the token. There was a long queue of patients. After about an hour, she was called by the doctor.
“What is your problem?”
“I am wounded.”
“How?”
“People like you have beaten me!” said Dolly, and the other patients standing near her began to laugh.
“What is your name?”
“Woman.”
“Age?”
“Four hours, twenty minutes, and eleven seconds,” said Dolly looking at the wall clock behind the doctor.
“Have you come alone?”
The doctor gave her first-aid and wrote something on a piece of paper. He called a peon and sent Dolly with him. She was referred to a psychiatrist. It was obvious that they thought she was insane.
Outside the doctor’s cabin, many patients were sitting in a row of chairs. Dolly occupied a seat and began to hum.
A woman said, “Stop singing. All are looking at you.”
“So what?” replied Dolly, annoyance evident in her tone of voice.
“Aren’t you afraid? What will they say?”
“Do you get frightened?” said Dolly.
“Yes.”
“Then you are dead, not alive,” said Dolly.
Before the woman could say something, a peon came there and ordered Dolly to follow him. She was taken into a cabin. A doctor was present there.
“Hello,” said Dolly, with a smile.
He minutely observed her from top to bottom and gestured to a chair.
“Where have you come from?”
“From my cage.”
“Have you run away from there?”
“Of course! Who will release me willingly?”
Dolly began to play with the paperweight that was kept on the table in front of the doctor. He was scared and he said, “Don’t touch that paperweight and don’t try to act here.”
“Only today I have decided not to act. I have been acting for so long!” said Dolly very firmly.
“What will you do if you stop acting?” smiled the doctor.
Dolly observed that doctor very attentively, a middle aged man, shining eyes, the expression of a hunter on his face. He seemed to be a beast that would pounce upon her any instant.
“I will do what I like,” Dolly smiled.
The doctor smiled back, perhaps, expecting something which he had already decided that he would get from her. A beautiful lonely woman could give him the maximum of the pleasure.
“All right, I must leave now. I am getting late,” said Dolly.
“But you did not tell me about your problem,” said the doctor and he got up. He came closer to Dolly and took her hand in his hand.
“I have no ailment,” said Dolly and came close to him.
The doctor was delighted because he had not expected her to come near him. He was bursting with joy.
“You are a nice man, doctor,” said Dolly and patted his right cheek very lightly.
The doctor was ecstatic because he was getting more than he had expected and he did not have to work hard for that.
The doctor’s joy did not last long because Dolly waved her hand and went out of the room.
She was standing in front of a water tap near a school. She was thirsty and she began to drink water.
Next, she found herself in front of a movie theatre. A Hindi movie was being shown. The title of the film was “Pious Love”. Dolly looked at the big hoardings and smiled. The huge face of the hero was beaming from the poster. She picked a stone from the side of the road and hurled it at the face. No one noticed her and nothing happened.
Suddenly, she noticed her neighbour, Mr. Sharma, who was standing at the ticket window, with a woman. He had seen Dolly and he wanted to avoid her eyes but Dolly barred his way and said, “Hello, Mr. Sharma, how are you?”
“I am fine,” said Mr. Sharma, with a shy smile.
“You don’t like your fat wife, do you? Who is she?” said Dolly, moving her eyes to the young woman with Mr. Sharma.
He did not reply and holding the hand of the woman entered the theater.
Dolly had seen the new face of that respected college professor, Mr. Sharma. His fat wife must be thinking that her husband is honestly teaching students in college. Little did she know that he was enjoying the company of this beautiful young woman.
Dolly had seen nervousness on the face of the woman who was with Mr. Sharma. She was really ashamed but she was obviously helpless. Perhaps, Mr. Sharma had promised her a wonderful life. Ah woman, you are never you, you are there to dance to the tune of your male exploiters, sometimes willingly, and sometimes under compulsion. Dolly felt sympathy for the woman.
Next moment, she was standing in front of a ground where school children were doing physical exercises. After their exercise, a teacher began to lecture them, “Dear students, you have to become responsible citizens tomorrow. There is no difference between boys and girls. Both are equal and you must keep it in your mind. Girls are free to do all those works which once belonged to boys only…..”
Suddenly, she noticed a young man standing near her. Dolly looked at him and said, “What do you want?”
“I have been watching you for quite some time. Your appearance does not match your eyes and face. You are increasing your problem by trying to appear what you are actually not. I don’t know you but I will advise you to go back home. This world is not as good as…”
Dolly began to laugh. She knew that she was attracting people and it would not be easy for her to escape if many people gathered there. She started walking in an unknown direction.
She decided to rest for a while on a bench in a public park. At a distance, a few children were playing. She decided to lie down for a while. Dolly was in a maze of thoughts: she had chosen nothing for her; she was not given a choice, no friend, no lover, no children, and not even loneliness. Everything happened by the choice of others.
A little girl came running towards her bench. Dolly picked her up and kissed her on her cheek.
“Where have you come from?” the little girl said.
“The same place whence you have come,” smiled Dolly.
“I have come from home. I don’t like it there,” said the little girl.
“Neither do I,” said Dolly.
“But you are so big,” the little girl was surprised.
Before she could say something, a policeman appeared from nowhere and said, “What are you doing here? This is a public place.”
“I am public too.”
“Go away from here. Children are playing here.”
Dolly pulled a fifty rupees note from her pocket and showed it to the policeman.
“You have earned enough today, haven’t you?” said he grabbing the note.
When she was on the road again, a car stopped near her and a voice said, “Mrs. Gupta. What are you doing here?”
“Nothing,” smiled Dolly.
“Where is your car?”
“I am without car today.”
“Shall we drop you somewhere?”
“No, go away, just leave me alone!” shouted Dolly.
The driver of the car was surprised. He did not continue and sped away from there. He was literally puzzled to see Dolly there.
A middle-aged person approached her and whispered to her, “Will you accept fifty rupees for your services?”
“Am I worth only fifty rupees?” said Dolly out of curiosity.
“What about one hundred?” said he and put his hand on her hips.
“Only one hundred,” laughed Dolly.
“Then how much do you want?” shouted the man.
Dolly slapped him on his face and pushed him onto the ground. She jumped onto his chest and she began to beat him with her fists and slaps.
“You, bloody whore! You do your business on road and then fight with your customers!” the man was shouting.
He hit Dolly very hard on her face and she collapsed onto the ground. When she came to, she found herself in a police station.
“Who are you and how did you get into this mess?” said a gentle looking man.
She looked at his face and said, “My name is Dolly Gupta. I am the daughter-in-law of the Gupta family. I wanted to live just one day on my own, without any compulsion, without any force, without any relations, and without any particular thoughts. I have found that the world is so much deteriorated that one cannot live like a human being even for one day. You have to be someone to live and only human is valueless, a whore who can be anybody’s if they want.”
“You talk like a philosopher,” smiled the man.
“No, I am only a woman, trying to be a human,” Dolly paused, “Please call my husband and inform them that I am safe and sound. They must be worried.”
After about an hour, Dolly’s husband was standing in front of her. She knew what he was feeling but she knew that he was helpless too, a slave to his parents and elders. She got up and said to herself, “Come Dolly now is the time to go back to your cage!”
Chapter 2: Unrealized Ambitions
The fog blurred his vision. Mist had covered the surface of the lenses of his glasses. He took his glasses off and wiped them with the sleeve of his shirt but there was not much difference. Cataract was in its initial stage and it hurt his eyes. He stood by the side of the road for some time.
There wasn’t much commotion along the road in the early hours of the day. In no time, the road would be so crowded with people as if hosts of ants were trying to show their superiority over each other to cover a piece of cake. He had wanted to take this morning walk for many days but it always got postponed for one or the other reasons.
Though he doesn’t want, he has to sleep late at night, and as a result he is always late in getting up in the morning, and after that the routine is so busy that time passes swiftly. He was satisfied with the thought that these golden rays of the sun must be spreading their hue over his house after it was dark here. The pleasant winter sun reminded him of his house and his wife Savitri.
In his village, his small house had three rooms. He had saved for many years to get that house constructed. There was always scarcity of money during the construction of that house. The house was built in three stages: foundation was laid in the first stage, in the second stage, walls were raised and finally the roof and plastering took place. The wooden work was completed just before coming here. His desire was to complete his house before his retirement so that he could live comfortably in his own house after his retirement.
Finally, when the house was ready, he developed a desire that led him away from his house. He wanted to live with his son after his retirement. There was a reason behind this thought of his. He was born in a village and he had completed his education in his village and a nearby town. After his education, he had been appointed as a teacher in a government school in his village. His wife, Savitri, took control of the house. His prime duty was to bring his salary to his wife and see her spend the money very intelligently and miserly. He had allowed his wife to spend less on household goods but he never thought like a miser when it came to the education of his children. His son, Abhimanyu, was a talented boy and he was good at his studies. His daughters were younger than Abhimanyu. His son got a very good job after the completion of his college education. His daughters, Gita and Sita, had already been married. Three years after their marriage, Abhimanyu got married. After that his responsibilities were over and he was looking forward to his retirement.