Abnormal
Obviosities
By L.S. Preston
Copyright ©
2012 L.S. Preston
Smashwords Edition
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CONTENTS
Chapter
1: mybrainobese
mybrainobese
Like
Aliens
cloud
Everything’s
fine
Welcoming
committee wonder why
A
nuclear blast would be loud
Opinion
Heidi
frolics in the mountains
Easy
now
Personal
responsibility
avoid
devoid
Chatterbox
The
Cuddler strikes again
Numnum
Call
and refusal
The
guardian seems to have passed out
Pandora’s
box
I
wonder why?
Chapter 2:
Creeping death
Creeping
death
Happy
humming
painkiller
punctured
Dry
rot starts burning
Property
ladder
Crooked
kangaroo
Quicksand
Confidence
uber alles
Obey
and play
Encouragement
Darkness
descends
The
lion still troubled
Permanently
puzzled
Watching
from above
Not
my hell
angeldust
Keep
on truckin’
Taste
enhancer
Here
goes nothing
Chapter 3: Tales
from the Dimside
Tales
from the Dimside
Lobal
kill
Where’s
my first aid?
Distrust
matter
No
one home 1
No
one home 2
A
sweet smiling sky avoiding
Unlightenment
something
sickly similar to the truth
Get
with the program
almost
human
Spinning
green
Stupid
for a lifetime
I
always knew George Romero was God
Failed
and still alive
No
sky
Disdydfunction
Tools
of analysis absent
Greenman
Commonsense
No
surrender/gas please
Sounds
like suburbia
underpants
the void
Still
floating
Chapter 1
mybrainobese
mybrainobese
Unhappy
happy
constant craving
too much stuff
the threat of
caving
in around a nervous head
of course sometimes
the
wish
the dread
So give me sweet
to fuel the fire
to
dull the sharp
to sink the mire
to entertain
to stimulate
to
numb the pain
a bloated brain
and always doing
doing
nothing
doing headless
doing shopping
Then again
that’s
all I know
safely stuck
indulgent slow
not slow
careful
thankless slow
slow to learn
nowhere to go
but
lie consume
blocked to growth
tempting death
denial
sloth
And so unreal
so far away
black is white
night
is day
objects bounce
across the screen
pumpkin pie
and
jellybean
Like Aliens
Like Aliens
Alien
2
The scene with the mother
And the eggs and the crew
Not
sneaking around
The catacomb
Curled up tight
A rent free
home
Far away
From space invaders
From mighty
function
From entertainers
Pressure become
Succeed be
thinner
Sigourney’s cool
But the rest are dinner
cloud
in the cloud
in
the sky
distract from pain
or in it die
huge open
space
I refuse to play
there is nothing here
to do or
say
explaining it
I don’t know how
they look at me
I’m
gone right now
paralyzed
I wish for more
than what I
have
crooked bore
incapable
of breaking out
broken
heart
thump and shout
lost in it
and that’s for
sure
without a hope
without a cure
and there’s
nothing
no more to say
out of here
and gone away.
Everything’s fine
The Great
Disconnected
apparently complete
blood lust cannibal
orgy
begins itself to eat
Inevitable invisible
in
ordinary confused
nervously holding on
and easily abused
And
here we go
sweet floating high
altogether now
no need to
cry
On swirling winds
grey heavy sky
soul lost mind
dead
and body too will die
Welcoming committee wonder why
Somewhere relief is
missing
Need replaced by fear
Inside desperate space the
juggler
Addict anger seek endear
And bulletproof the safe
embrace
Hide me slipping under
Too much to see too much to
hold
No plan no voice no wonder
A nuclear blast would be loud
Depletion of fish
stocks
renewable energy
global warming
deforestation
environmental responsibility
Nuclear
warfare
swine flu big mac
weapons of mass destruction
global
terrorist attack
Swimming around
in a poor punctured
brain
supersaturation
slipping down the drain
Opinion
No opinion
No
one there
I don’t feel
And I don’t care
Shit I
haven’t
Got a clue
What’s going on
Or what to
do
Rendered
Bloated
Sugar
Coated
Exhausted
sickly
Ill well fed
Curl up tight
And stay in bed
Heidi frolics in the mountains
(Peter’s bollix also
in the mountains)
It’s sort of difficult
To try and
maintain
With a head full of shit
And with nothing to gain
Easy now
How could I really
be ok
A part of this de-caffed decay
Sad confused shut your
mouth
Childish freak drunken lout
Focus grow up get a grip
Take
your place and watch the lip
Personal responsibility
The buck stops
here
Square on my lap
It’s my problem
And all that
crap
Easy concepts
Thrown around
To suit the
guilty
Feeling sound
The victim hammered
Wonders
how
This shit could come
To this right now
Just all too
much
The outside stuff
The inner shit
I’ve had
enough
With lots of secrets
Locked away
Have a look
Some
other day
Go back to sleep
And pressure melts
Disappear
Somewhere else
avoid devoid
avoid devoid
pissed
off annoyed
leave me alone
I wish I was home
what home?
no
home
tormented
groan
Chatterbox
Doing while the
conference rallies
all shoving loud too much
recycled opinions
voices
schizophrenia or talking tinnitus
Focus down on what
you’re doing
they said don’t let yourself get
entertained
concentrate on the task at hand
hold on they said
maintain
But beaten to paralysis
try harder and do
more
inside the circus hopping
the world and doing bore
The Cuddler strikes again
Excuse me could I
have a cuddle
Said the Cuddler to the king
Forced a grin
thought to himself
Not this fool in here again
The Cuddler
was escorted out
Four well-armed soldiers
Brave and
stout
Bounced along accepting fate
Found himself in a
heap
Outside the gate
Feathers ruffled but still
determined
He had his goal and that was certain
Looking around
as the battlements jeered
A dairymaid with her cow
O’er
yonder hillock appeared
Freshly dusted head prepared
The
Cuddler approached the lady fair
But stepping into the firing
zone
Got a bucket of milk
Across his well-trimmed jawbone
The
battlements roared as he got to his feet
Ignoring their jibes he
refused to be beat
And looked around just one last time
Spotted
something thinking
That’ll do just fine
Parked head
hanging down alongside the road
Stood and donkey and cart with a
heavy high load
Excuse me he said I have a small favor to ask
I’m
looking for a cuddle
And it’s turning out to be quite an
impossible task
The donkey didn’t have much to say
He
seemed to having the same sort of day
Get your hands off my ass
the driver did yell
And they cuddled and cuddled and oceans fell.
Numnum
A certain
personality
Lack of self reflect
No impetus to do anything
For
yourself take care
Victim self neglect
Constant stress the
struggle
Explosive scream and shout
Wait in a hole
For a
savior’s hand
To come and get me out
Call and refusal
Seeing perfect
passing
just a glimpse a chance to move
suspend in blind
congestion
I’m afraid I must refuse
Submit to ancient
habit
safe in fetal curled
repulsed and self-degrading
stuck
in normal world
The guardian seems to have passed by
The corridors seem
so dark and dank
and there’s only you to thank
look close at
this pretending shell
a tiny taste unliving hell
Words all
talk
and at it’s core
worse crime commits
of all to bore
Pandora’s box
So much
force
machinery faulty
potential for disaster
or maybe
something vaster
Than we know
but don’t have a clue
the
direction the mission
the way what to do
As if we
could
even if we did
having Pandora’s box
and lifting the
lid.
I wonder why?
Everyone knew
it
from early on
there was a feeling
like something
was a
little but wrong
But life seemed fine
the years went
by
then one day she said
I wish all this would die
I wonder
why?
Chapter 2
Creeping death
Congest with
constant doing
Nice and fast not chewing
Full system
beached
The summit reached
But there’s this strange
fragrance
That something’s just not gluing
Rotten on the
inside
Expiry date well gone
Nice and shiny
surfaces
Wellnessness marches on
Fit and realistic
Safe
and optimistic
Maximize deodorize
And never pessimistic
Happy humming
Mr and Mrs getting
screwed
everyday multitude
self-regulating spinning
wheel
credit card being real
Get more
stuff
catastrophe
everything’s fine
what’s on TV
painkiller
don’t bug me
‘cos
it’s all I know
what else the pit
that’s where
I’ll go
unless I stuff
my life with shit
and numb the
pain
avoiding it
Punctured
I sit here feeling
like’s something’s wrong
this really is a bore
it’s not
like I haven't all I need
but I’d really like some more
Dry rot starts burning
They speak of
transparency
on cracked ice dinosaurs eating
their own the
beginning of the end
that isn’t happening
A sprog
revolution blood cold
sickly and dark a lie the lie
smiling
inside rotting
feeling it deep unavoidable
With nowhere to
go nothing
to do no choice to make trapped
with no escape
desperate human
angel of death the enemy within
Property ladder
Buy a shack
wait
and sell
live in investment
bound to do well
Sell it
handsome
buy something bigger
and wait and see
and sit and
snigger
It just can’t lose
a fool proof plan
everyone’s
doing it
with no middleman
Eventually the countryside
with
five bedrooms maybe more
and a pool and a helipad
And a
babble and a bore
A house a home
somewhere for life
I’m
a speculator
and so is my wife.
Crooked kangaroo
Function nice and
stable
Watching feeling fine
These guys need me to feel ok
The
disembodied kind
Fearful of upsetting others
disturb the
calm the norm
Normal function the surface
Skill-less with the
storm
Nervous courses surging
mentally unsound
Agitated
thoughts mind grab
Far away from ground
And body caught all
is lost
What am I to do
Getting going far away
From crooked
kangaroo
Cos function really
Seems to be
The desire of
the good
Psychiatry
Quicksand
Nothing nicely
sinking
hangs and wants to sleep
and slip and slide in darkness
deep
Knows what’s there
has felt it’s breath
beyond
all light beyond regret
But no forget remember up
ignore
the whim
and turn and swim
Confidence uber alles
Thanks for nothing
Mr Freud
naked skinless
truth avoid
Being seen
being
caught
what I am
I’m surely not
I think
well I’m
not quite sure
poisoned pup
or infant pure
Bottom
line
focus function
get what’s mine
and keep on munchin’
Obey and play
I’m sorry for
being you know
an immature idealist
it was a phase and crazy
haze
a kid a fool rebellious
All that shit with shaggy
hair
and wandering around without a care
now I know it’s time
to pay
my way grow up obey and play
Encouragement
Needing shelter
battered
out on the lonesome way
magical words the threshold
narrow
hold the beast at bay
Darkness descends
Here’s some nice
pictures
Of happy kids at the circus
The contrast is a little
off on this one
And that one’s out of focus.
The lion still troubled
(for the poet Pat Ingoldsby)
The lion still
troubled wit and watches
the tiger stressed pre-occupied
an
issue of movement
An issue of depth on in action
inside out
upside down
treasures gone hung drawn quarterly
Issues
brushed voices hushed
a piece of mind shared forgotten
the lion
still troubled wit and watches
Permanently puzzled
Permanently
puzzled
scratching itchy head
is there anything really worth
doing
glad I’m still in bed
Watching from above
Half looking
down
At a shiny black beetle
Trying to cross
The pavement so
lethal
When among marching feet
He suddenly stopped
Turned
and went back
His plan apparently dropped
To hurry him up
I
offered a little push from behind
Sometimes you have to be
Cruel
to be kind
But without any warning
He kicked in his B
plan
Stopped dead where he was
And stuck his head in the
sand
And he scratched and he scratched
Not really getting
that deep
This is hopeless I thought
I’ve a dental
appointment to keep
I turned to leave
Him doing his
dance
When I happened to see
A battalion of ants
No more
than 6 inches
From my little digger
Was another black beetle
In
a crisis much bigger
Completely engulfed
Being ripped
apart
Attackers too many
The struggle too hard
I watched
the slow slaughter
Intervene didn’t dare
And thought to
myself
Glad I don’t live down there.
Not my hell
Unseen tormentors
ripping
right there she burns
and lost in war
she twists and
turns
Away from my objective eye
the skin of things that’s
all I see
it’s not my life it’s not my hell
it’s nothing
got to do with me
Angeldust
She stands around
eating looking
very countryside nice bloody red
harvest her
calves milk daily
and eat her when she’s dead
Keep on truckin’
Stress and do to
side step who
I am I run like hell
not quite right and don’t
know what
my best and doing well
Semi-solid ego
structure
in place and operating
always reasons pushing
hard
this solid pressure aching
And then the break the
mouth wide open
a fiery kill far away I’m hoping
but then
again some doctors say
that fever is the only way
Taste enhancer
They offer me
poison
fertilizing my brain
but I’m in it already
growing
slowly insane
Spending my money
it tastes really good
and
comforts the weary
just like it should
Here goes nothing
The cliff has
come
There’s no way back
Deal with it
Or watch it
crack
Opened by
Some other force
Some other guy
Or
thing of course
To turn a back
To playing games
The very
thing
The fire inflames
And more than run
And get
away
And to the hills
Without delay
That’s half of
this
The status quo
While doing fine
The Muppet show
And
this is space
That far behind
What treasures may
In shadows
find
Chapter 3
Tales from the Dimside
Tales from the Dimside
When fear is all
there is
it takes more than a zombie
the dark is cozy warm
and
daylight hurts
The dead are fine
they don’t want
me
robbed or murdered
evicted or complain
Or judge and
pressure soundly
graveyards are green
with trees and old
people
with watering cans
Lobal kill
Ice cold time
stands still
heart explodes somehow standing ripped
terrified
eyes empty and open
The dragon rises broken heavy
bottomless
power sees through them clearly
dripping stars flashing
Without
even a sound
and easy smiling
hot swell and roar
Red raw
in a world
white yellow hollow the taste
of my own blood it’s
good
Where’s the first aid?
Drowning forever
moving underwater
Underground no ground bored
And bored
stiff
Dying and sick in a normal day
Realistic lifestyle what I
know
After the open hopeful all ahead
Of me and inside the
obstacles block
No goal no obstacles.
Situations inviting
demons run at will
In secure darkness after a thousand
refusals
The eagle lands and she’s blonde
Sharp biting
intelligent angry cutting calm
Born to win shares with me what
happened
To the dead goddess could happen to me
Electrocuted
thunder struck
My dulled repressed flickering
Now flames
desperate winged all ahead
Distrust matter
Under the waves no
value shining light
time attention things pulled under and
floating
this webbed and effortless place
Lost landscapes
intrigue
beauty with surprises all content
rushing my closest
friend the beast
Without plan just free in fear joined in
me
and sore and safe and always moving without a care
the
surface bites it can’t compare
No one home 1
Just can’t hold
attention
On anything but fun
Or anything really long enough
To
really get it done
No one home 2
This thing of
having to be someone
This thing of being there
Of feeling like
I’m not a ghost
I haven’t got a prayer
The problem’s
social
Interaction
Jagged rocks
And crude distraction
Got
to get to
Get together
Quick quick quick
And hell for
leather
A sweet smiling sky avoiding
Bonus prize for the
sad
mind identifying watching
and body slips as if all by
itself
nicely among everything
And melting into the
ocean
isolates a relieved mind for a while
pushes away an evil
self
a sweet smiling sky avoiding
Unlightenment
I never leave the
house
without my remote
cos’ this shit just might
get out
of control
A flickering show
and body separate
lost in
delusion
a world falls apart
Wild potent appearance
must
be misread
help poor soul
profoundly in need
A permanent
basis close
more than insane
involved so clever
and
dangerously brain
Dead and not me
so no problem no
matter
as confused things might get
as mad as a hatter
Without
a worry in the world
I can sometimes detest
a fish and the
ocean
relax take a rest
And I hope there’s still time
and
that’s honest too
packaged in a new perspective
there would
seem to be a lot of work to do
something sickly similar to the truth
obviously
the
center me
borderline
divine
subjective all
creep and
crawl
fire and air
not quite there
nihilistic
near
ballistic
misconstrue
TV view
Get with the program
Get with the
program, son
With hesitations I wouldn’t bother
You’re
either with us or against us
That’s two options no other
Do
yourself a favor choose
It’s the only solution
And let’s
just stop all the chaotic
And dangerous confusion
But what
about yin and yang?
The play of cosmic forces?
Forget the
esoteric shit, son
Get your information
From some more
legitimate sources
Order clarity
Assertiveness decide
Or
you’ll definitely find yourself
Discarded left behind
But
what about the Jungian thing?
Shared archetypes duality
Many
aspects coexistent movement
The constant struggle
For inner and
outer harmony?
Constantly emerging
Changing never
still
Multi-dimensional normal complex?
Pathetic dysfunctional
and ill
Decisive focused tunnel-vision
Feels justified and
strong
But all hail the rainbows
Of complicated
possibilities
And questioning right or wrong
almost human
judging all that
comes in sight
inside and out and day and night
nothing sacred
nothing spared
from the demon’s lusty glare
fueled on
hate and fear and envy
shadowed monster’s feeding
frenzy
favorite food never far away
on sacrificial slab I lay.
Spinning green
Has the land the
answers to my problems
buried inside out of sight deep in mind
in
past forgotten veiled hidden denied invisible
like I only look
forward to potential
And having carcass paying for
things
doing somehow somewhere I think
not really well but with
the best side out
knowing and feeling disaster and open
secret
Shared in it on it the ground the land still
forgiving
hammered and cut but still
a door unite top and bottom earth and
sky
past and future sharp and open
The bouncing the
spinning green
the hope the undeniable whole
Stupid for a lifetime
I get the feeling
of being
Like everyone else knows
The moment I felt the
tension
As old as me looking across
The table your smiling
face
Thinking you know this
It could be like this
I always knew George Romero was God
Only now can I
relax
Now that I can see
No more self-conscious walking
Among
others nervously for me
It’s all a zombie movie right
A
detail missed maybe at first sight
But I know that I’m not
wrong
Because I feel like I belong
To the zombie hordes
The
living dead
And a heavy load's been lifted
From a paralyzed
undead head
Failed and still alive
A system
stripped
in the lair it would seem
to be home old home I’m
bait
returning to this dangerous place
Courage a lazy
pathetic trust
I should know better
numbed to death and
secure
and why not how bad can it be
Walking
standing
watching in the past alone
the rustling in the shadows
indicates
that there is something out there
Unannounced but
expected sudden
lashing flashing blasting
mouths uncensored
justified
while silence taboo nervous normal
Unconscious
mantras flying adaptable
to any situation plan-less
in
execution skill-less
falls and rolls to impulse always
With
eyes invaded outrageous
selfish pressure contagious
to look
into it’s eyes
I wither judged and die
Poison seeping
in
and out alive and well
the same and different
connected
and separate
Exhausted head
thumping jumping
failed and
still alive
No sky
Fallen can’t
remember
Ever even up
Broken fragments cut reflect
Judge
compulsion stuck
Too doubt to move too bitter
To remain
sleeping danger stop
Something’s pulling from below
And
something’s pulling up
Disdysfunction
Reluctant things
done badly I don’t know
no better and clumsy distraction
and
half-heart and cramp twist
Mind jumps not wanting to play
it’s
fine it’s ok and good to think
to build castles in the air in
the sky
She speaks of change not regression
held on in
trust doing what she’s doing
with value no apology or
distraction
Tools of analysis absent
Being relatively
dysfunctional really
His path limited without the aid
Of
stimulants a serious makeover
Focus some blood thirst drive
And
performance with a ground
Of rock hard denial he is held
back
Sharpness comes in a bottle of anger
Reusable and
necessary just to survive
Greenman
Inside the state of
things standing
always doing the poison sucked
autumn scarred
blemish
and the whole thing without praise
There not there
but open and doing
useful functioning part of things
unique
movement giving more than good
and evil in love in flow in
life
Rooted solid anchored
at one complete unique
natural
nature
the way things could be
Commonsense
This constant
urge
To complicate
To dig and shuffle
And shovel and
rake
It’s not like I’m not
Confused enough
I think
I’ll head
For ground and bluff
No surrender/gas please
Salmon pink is so
uncertain
Woman switched off in agony numb
No response able of
men functioning reason
Unnatural threatening and failed
On
entry and hasn’t made much sense since
Fear and surrender
and trust
Nothing a body not neglected the best
Alive dead not
even myself
Trust game blame sane
Lugged around sitting on
a dread bed
And dying of clueless hopeless living
Trust and
surrender from inside the clouds
Dark in doubt and want and
hate
Safe and self and sound
And satisfaction the fog
No
ground so very confused easily
Nothing seen but me and badly
To
surrender many options to a true state
To this to trust
It is
ok and with a right to be alive
And be irrespective release the
pressure
To flow impossible beyond words with open
Mind and
heart hold it tight
It bounces from one to me head buzzing
Scared
stiff
Not caring what others think I’d release
Body to
world to surrender
Who will catch me if I fall
Free fall
falling but the months
And minds automatic acting reacting
To
what’s not maybe there
Impervious modern winning seeing clear
surface
Situation is individual and selfish normal
I know
what’s good for him
There is sense in effort making
breaks
Blocked to surrender to this seeing
Not enough feeling
blind denial
Present real turning inside and out
And
trouble and pain
The state of this is seen as mine but not mine
A
little jagged corner of an ocean
Shared not grasp resisting
judging it
And hiding it lying to me and you and all
And
everything always and let it out
Watching the feelings and
thoughts erupt
And body tense and where and how to
move
Resistance on judgment on observe
On aware on an ordinary
direct level manner
He hated the storm
Hide from the
storm
The storm increased
Cozy horror film he knew that one
day
He had to go rotten dead
The storm was moving
desperate
And one day inspired brave and stupid
Hung head
surrender and a step with a tear
Brief intelligence and fear and
change
Kind and surrender and accepting release
In flowing
happening body mind more.
Sounds like suburbia
A sick and sad mind
identifier
a dysfunctional by-product
of the experiment
didn’t
identify with self
well sort of
Couldn’t take the outside
as really real
and ran away
to a safe dream
far away from
the shared event
autism schizophrenia bi-polar
Paranoia
confused insecure
pathetic passenger tourist
had no choice but
to live
to grow and out as someone
seen to be related to
To
be or die just stop the show
attempted sort of
but there was
always the feeling of something
to function only anger from
shame
got through the day
Without the benefit of
skills
structure and reason
in a self-evident world
and sly
victim manipulation
self loathing ruled silently
Without
question the shadow
while self-medication worked
sort of I was
good
but the fire consumed everyone
too close and something had
to be done
Frustration as a result of a lack of meaning
and
purpose is not uncommon
patience appeared still and
watching
outrageous dysfunction
neurotic breakdowns
Withdrawal
from the show preferred
participation optional
amateur patience
anger and a little less destruction
power urgency raw desperation
to know
to find out what is wrong
And the dig that had to
be
treasures appear fragments
when two lines fuse
in a green
haze shining orange
in grey luminous with a loud roar
And
standing unannounced
square on ground
a new place
a new
identification
unchanging in a flux
Can I stay here?
the
return to dysfunction
inevitable return
and bagged and off
off
to the surface
The same but different
so much to do
and
the memory remains
and visits possible
integration somehow
underpants the void
satan’s zone
the
devil’s home
he does his dance
in underpants
Still floating
How far
Am
I
From
Thankfulness?
Abnormal
Obviosities
Abnormal Obviosities 2
Abnormal Obviosities 3
His
website is: ahappyhumming.com