TORCELLO: Reflections on an Affirmative Path 2
John Torcello
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2009 John W. Torcello
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*
retreat in an orderly fashion
because of age.
rulebook for the
way things should be done.
payback for time served,
the good life begins?
unfulfilled,
boring,
little to do?
out of cash, savings,
way ahead of presumed
death?
be truly useful to others,
emerging payback of kindness...
live out the remainder
in a version of 'heaven on earth'.
warm feelings, a warm heart.
comfort.
feelings of peace.
know the real plan;
the real ‘retirement’...
when death arrives.
*
cutting away...
afraid, at first, to begin...
cleaned,
prepared,
experimented,
practiced,
assembled the proper tools.
ready to place my ‘I’
on the chopping block.
taken instruction;
proper technique.
begin to cut.
grasp the proverbial sword,
carefully slice at the edge
so as not to cut too deep.
throughout the process,
wiping away tears.
like peeling an onion.
pull away,
examine the flaps,
cut, dried, browned,
once fragile layers;
difficult at first,
a little scary
grab, get hold
pulling away the layers...
dead cut skin in sheets.
discard them
into the trash of my past.
continue the process
cutting more and more...
heading toward my center.
deeper cutting,
lighter, more flexible.
into red meat layers.
more alive.
in pretty deep now.
no turning back.
fresh,
juicy, sticky;
almost bloody...
in that onion kind of way.
I've cut enough;
what's left is ready to use.
I'm ready to cook...
*
wipe away the cobwebs,
rinse the morning eyes...
see the new day; fresh.
don’t linger...
let myself go
into the present moment.
won’t be bogged down,
no despair, sorrow or fear.
can never see, hear
or feel too much.
take the time,
expose my daily dramas
as absurd gambles.
make room for my life.
the clock is ticking.
*
each new step
endless possibilities;
endless new questions.
used to think
had to address.
must manage.
everything.
mine, but a small few,
in the overall
menu of choices...
now,
more the observer,
without judgment,
more questions,
more possibilities.
mysteries of nature,
beautiful,
without my intervention.
trusting the seeming chaos.
nothing more than
intertwined vines
outside my level of understanding.
in the gap,
between and prior...
my next breath,
my next step...
gather the energy,
with excitement,
enthusiasm.
move to the next
along the twists and turns
of my own path to life.
find and experience,
have revealed.
a sense of peace and happiness,
etched into my being
as blissful memory.
*
no-thing is as it appears...
any 'thing'...
an object of thought...
is...
without inward nature.
no true substance,
no constitution.
exhibits
distinctive characteristics,
it's true...
properties,
attributes,
seen and felt...
understand.
keep this distinction;
with determination,
effort,
patience
and practice.
no-thing is as it appears...
stay alert,
polite, generous,
adaptable.
flexible,
accepting.
mindful and open
to new learning.
dance to your tune,
with compassion and grace.
*
it’s hard feeling under-appreciated.
makes you question,
deep inside,
the value and breadth
of the wisdom
attained over years.
it’s hard not to worry about this.
appreciate the dreams
and seeming naivete’ of youth.
laugh and be happy
for that beginner’s mind.
encourage the younger to step forward.
pass on what little you know,
to willing ears,
sponge-like minds and hearts.
recall...
the many someones, somewheres, someplaces...
the various inns along the way...
accommodation,
sustenance offered.
listened, advised
and encouraged you.
they are your rock,
return the favor.
actions like a shadow.
with the high sun of day,
little evidence of your presence;
as the sun sets,
your shadow will be larger,
more obvious to others...
as you continue,
...you move on.
*
grounded by the gravity
rooted in wisdom,
venerated by friends and family.
sound judgments,
actions befitting
this time and place.
sensitivity...
proceeding cautiously,
discretion and care.
providing...
frugal spending.
the person you become?
...the person you’ve always been!
...if you had only
chosen to remember.
the alternative;
bitterness.
denial of what you’ve become,