Published by Azariah D. Scarbrough I at Smashwords
PREFACE
This book is a collaboration of poems written over several years. The poems in this book were not originally written to be read, only spoken. My poems are an expression of me, my belief, my fears, my joys, my pain, my life. It is my greatest desire that you the reader are able to understand with an open artistic view, the messages that are being conveyed in these writings. Please, if nothing else enjoy
The Echoes of My Heart…
DEDICATION
This Book is dedicated to every artist that has ever made an impact on the world of art, those both known and unknown. To my children Azariah 2, my big man and Hannaniah, my ladybugg. Daddy loves you two so very much. To my love, my friend, my inspiration, my life, my Reason, my wife Tania. Thank you baby for always being my better half. Thank you for always being my support. You are my love now and always.
I LOVE YOU ENDLESSLY….
CONTENTS
FANTASY
Dreams/reality
This dream
My dream
Dream
My reality
Real-unreal world
LOVE
What? Nothing.
Only for the night.
Only you love
Separation
Beautiful
An angel, my angel
Across the room
Stolen fruit
For me
Those eyes
My way
My little piece
My wife
Geisha Eyes
I love you
Bride
I do love you
Our Love
One for all
The two of us
Love
Forgive but don’t forget
Reason fruit
L-o-v-e
The way I want too
Heart speaks
My favorite
From a distance
Who knew?
YOU
Always
One breath
You
Beat’s relief
I’ll slave for you
The last
If this world were mine
It is you
My sunshine
Mr. & Mrs. Lott
RELIGIOUS
Love. What?
Ancient land
I hear you
Chant down Babylon
Am I in truth?
Oh Gentile be free
Blind minds, hearts that are thirsty
Why refuse truth?
What lies beneath?
I fell
If?
Stand
Truth seekers
Armageddon
FEATURED ARTISTS
My husband a real man (Tania G. Sarbrough)
Domestic engineers (Tania G. Scarbrough)
My life (Tania G. Scarbrough)
Son gone for a while (Cheryl D. Vanderbilt)
P.S. (Betsy Winston, Aunt Bee)
NAME POEMS
R-E-A-S-0-N
C-H-E-R-Y-L
T-O-R-R-E-Y
L-A-D-Y-B-U-G-G
T-A-N-I-A
S-H-E-R-E-E-T-A
GENERAL POEMS
My children
All in a day
Hey ma
Ma
I -AM- A-MAN
The sun still shines
The tie that binds
Why not?
Will it pass?
In spite of
A poem like this
Rest
Dad
Walls
The real Scarbrough
Think
Thoughts
Poetry
Not as strong
Tears on paper
From one light many colors
Uninspired
Lifeless
I don’t know
Down
Death
I may be gone for a while
Time
Freedom
Change
It’s a different world
Frozen in time
Dance in the rain
It hurts
What to do?
Life just is
Mistake
Hope lost
Frustrated
The truth stays
Until we meet again
Going easy
Change
The poetry man
Letters
Broken toy
If the creek don’t rise
Bitter sweet
I weep
New horizon
Past free
So what does he do?
Fear of failure
Unseen battle
Our tomb, our doom
Mrs. Sanity
Kiss
Kiss Me
Anger
Do You Know?
Grey
Control
PROS
Love
Separation
“The Heart can Believe what the Mind may Question”
FANTASY
DREAMS/REALITY
Sometimes we don’t recognize our realities, because we live in our dreams.
So far from what is, so disconnected can’t express how we feel. Conceal the truth, hold it close, a closed treasure chest filled with realities best that has now become a threat to our lives. Our dreams they do hide, our facades they do chastise, our minds they do victimize. Try but we fell, like crimes lead to a cell and a cry leads to a yell, as death leads to hell.
Grow older, get bolder, grow older, get wiser, cross over meet the victimizer. Grow older, get weaker, open the door meet the seeker.
Reality is not recognized because we live in our dreams. We create then re-create our themes, we erase and replace our scenes, we clean our canvas paint a new picture; picture me a C.E.O, picture me completely getting o-ver, picture me in a place where I no longer hope for a chance in heck, where I don’t have to live from pay check to pay check. Picture me where I no longer hope for a chance in hell, where I don’t have to put up bail money, it’s funny don’t laugh its sad cause at one point dreams were all I had. That was the past, my present is my reality, my dreams are all I see. Make believe is what I perceive as Christopher Reeve strong as steel, to me that’s what’s real. Still I know the truth concealed, leave it yet sealed until I will to dismiss the dream, my dream and live in the real. Sometimes we don’t recognize our realities, because we live in our dreams.
THIS DREAM
Stand, don’t fall, good grip don’t slip, pause don’t stall. Ups and downs, quick sand, solid ground, it’s a - stounding sounding peculiar familiar to me; I know it, I show it, pictures, photos, slide shows, master pieces, abstracts; artist attack both political and religious quos. Their leaders, their people and even their foes, so what, why fuss? Why even lift a voice, dispute a choice? Its theirs, its yours, the argument won’t stop the fight, the lights are dark, set yourself apart, larger than life, it might strike, back. Don’t run, do shun the irrelevant facets of life, choose right. Tears, pain, strife; joy, love, happiness, peace, don’t cease, seek sweet release. We all need, we all need, we all need to appease the raging side, calm down lets ride atop a high peak to reach those impossible, possible dreams; squeeze tight watch what streams, it gleams, glitters, glistens, gloss, at all cost redeem what you’ve lost, at what cost? No price too high, no price too low. Whatever it takes, doesn’t matter the stakes, we keep 0ur heads above water, turn up the furnace the fire gets hotter, don’t teeter nor totter, balance is important gain it before-hand and see how firm you stand. Who ran? Who ran? Escape, no chance. The impossible, possible dreams should seem enhanced, tangible.
It’s your turn, don’t run, with strength like the sun, take a bow you’ve won. It seems, it seems, well, it is, this dream.
MY DREAM
By night my dreams haunt me, they taunt me. My wife, my son, my daughter and mommy are who I see. Clear faces, I’m so far away locked in this place it’s only through my thoughts do I find escape. I try to erase the life that I once had, that life then, is now the past. So fast it was taken. I’m left cold, naked, and shaken; this heart within me is slowly breaking.
Nightmares and cold sweats middle of the night I am awakened by the sounds of wheezing, try as I may but can’t catch my breathing, ever so rapidly my heart is beating, lightning flashes, blood splashes are the visions I’m seeing. Clutch my head in my hands it is my freedom I’m needing. Women screaming, children singing, shaking in my bed feels like I’m feining.
Darkest of nights, feels like, I mean it’s almost like I wish my spirit was leaving, at this point in time to life I would not me cleaving.
Death, a welcomed commodity, an odyssey, an adventure I’ve never taken, no mistaking afraid I’m not, to me it would be sweet release, the freedom I seek. In my bed still shaking it’s my freedom I’m craving. No longer shaking, still in this bed my last breath I’m taking, death, oh hide me in hell.
Startled by the keys in the door, I awake, still in this cell, my fate is worse than hell, oh well, we all have a story to tell, it seems by night when we sleep our minds replay a scene. My fantasy is over; my story ends as stories do; real life steps into view.
Reality gleams, this is my dream.
DREAM
I love the stuff that dreams are made of.
So umm, I frantically collect as much of that stuff as I can and night after night
I have dreams that last and last.
The other night I had a dream of a past, one I don’t remember I ever had.
I was in a field, so nice secluded and serene.
It was, well, never mind, it was just a dream.
MY REALITY
My reality is this; a hit and miss. Here today and gone tomorrow. The screen it gleams bearing a scene, telling a vision, not mine. Mine it’s blurred, so foggy it’s blurred, absurd, monsoon, to soon in life but it just might end soon. Cold metal in a non- healing wound, the clock strikes noon, tick-tock as the seconds pass, tick-tock another hour at last. I feel completely free from my past, no audience, no fans, on my own two feet I can now stand; clearly now I see just like India: “I want to go to a place where I am nothing, and everything, that exist between here and nowhere, I want to go to a place were I’m suspended in ecstasy, a place where the sky opens to my prayers, just looks no stares, free everywhere.”
Now clearly I see this is my reality.
REAL - UNREAL WORLD
Surviving in a world so wicked and treacherous that it’s unbelievable, it’s unreal. Still with tears I can’t help but feel dismay, thoughts show no control, mind in disarray. I dissipate the foes of my mind through the force of truth, and disengage all those wild thoughts that try to come through
Hearts that now totter, minds that are a part of this system, this real, un-real world.
A world within a world. At times I try to curl my mind around it in an attempt to squeeze some logic to the surface. My plan is to understand, submerge myself then re-surface on another land, get as far away as I can. If need be I’ll take to the earth and burrow to escape this real, un-real world;
Just the thought of this place makes me hurl, not to worry though my guts are intact. To escape this place I only have to relax, close my eyes and think back to the past, then fast forward to the future. Who’s the ruler of that world? Far better than any I can imagine, I’m saddened when I open my eyes and realize I am still alive in this real, un-real, hateful, dreadful, treacherous, lawless, Godless, real, un-real world…
“Don’t Allow Love T o Move You To Hate.”
L O V E
WHAT? NOTHING…
What is fellowship worth, without having divine fellowship with you my love? Nothing.
What is breathing worth, if I can’t with every breath inhale the resplendent fragrance of my beloved? Nothing.
What is walking worth, if I can’t walk in the shadows of my love? Nothing.
What is seeing worth, if I can’t see the comeliness of my beloved? Nothing.
What is understanding worth, if I have not the understanding of how to win the heart of my love? Nothing.
What is knowledge worth, if I am not knowledgeable of how to please my beloved? Nothing.
What is wisdom worth, if I do not exercise it in love, with love, to my love? Nothing.
Though I am alive what is life worth living without love? Nothing.
What? What? All is what without love? Nothing, nothing, absolutely nothing…
ONLY FOR THE NIGHT
My soul was in torment, I was deeply vexed. My spirit was saddened; my heart ached with pain because I hurt the love of my life.
I allowed the weak parts of my flesh to take control. I cried “Please forgive me, for I have sinned!” I cried by day; I cried “My love, please don’t take your love from me!” I cried by night.
My face was not disfigured before men, they knew not my pain, they saw not the torment my soul was in, nor did they know how I cried by night and day. “Look!” Cried my love to my sad, sad soul. “Arise and see the break of day is come;”
I tell you the truth, weeping may endure the entire night long, but joy surely comes in the morning.
I looked and beheld the brilliance of my beloved’s face. All the torment of my soul was rebuked by one softly spoken word from the lips of my beloved. With one wink of an eye, I was no longer vexed. With a smile, my love brought unspeakable joy and gladness to my once broken spirit.
Tears of joy washed my face till it gleamed with the essence of love, like fine gold just out of the furnace. And all I could say was, “Thank you your forgiveness has spared my life.”
My beloved is mine and I am my Beloved’s always…
ONLY YOU LOVE
Only you can help me.
What to do, well what am I suppose to do now?
When I once, at least I believe, I once walked so close to you, how did that ever end? Was it that I put in all the work in our relationship? Oh foolish of me to think so. In my pursuit of you love, in my anger of not knowing who I longed to know, I’ve tried rebelling against what I once held so close to be absolute, and then began to seek after the absolute. Not cigarettes, nor drugs, nor alcohol seemed to help ease my stress. Oh love, where are you? You said that if I seek you, that I would find you. I’m looking where are you? Only you love can give absolute. Only you love can help me.
I’m seeking, do tell, oh do tell, where are you? On my self, it seems as if I do search but to no avail. Oh do tell me where? If I’m looking in the wrong places, where should I then search? And I will. My heart does ache, please oh love I need you more now than ever. I’m sinking in the sea of hate only you love can save me,
Only you love.
SEPARATION
I want, I need to be close to you.
My heart beats, it aches, why did we have to separate?
So far, yet so near, at the very thought of you my heart sheds a tear.
Separation, thoughts thinking but never escaping, memory is cleaving, but never fading, erasing, they are staying ever so dear.
So far, yet so near, at the very thought of you my heart sheds a tear.
Separation, deliberate, why deliberation, when in fact there is no choice to be making? Its pain staking, spirit breaking, mind caving in. I am staying up day after day, night after night, wishing I were where you are. So far yet so near, at the very thought of you my heart sheds a tear.
So far yet so near.
BEAUTIFUL
You are so beautiful! You are extremely gorgeous!
All others are but mere flickers of dying flames in comparison to the stupendous suns radiance of your beauty.
You are beautiful! You’re simply beautiful!
Your breath sweet scented; your eyes glow resplendent.
You speak with the voice of a heavenly chorus; my broken heart strings are mended.
When did you descend from your celestial abode?
How was I chosen to experience two lovers’ hearts woven, as one?
Beautiful, oh beautiful! You are most beautiful!
Your flesh soft and delicate as a roses’ petals.
Your touch is as that of an angel.
My love from every view, from every angle, you are, beau-ti-ful…
AN ANGEL MY ANGEL
Behold the face of an angel.
Yes, become saturated in all her celestial glory;
Crescent moon shaped eyes, they charm like a well thought gift, my surprise.
Stunning strands of bold black onyx cascades ever so delicately over her crown, astounding it is, Niagara Falls, heart pounding it is, all hail my queen of everything sounding she is.
I feel elated, set free as I hold her close to me and bask in the life of every word she speaks;
I am so soon taken away by a whirlwind into the heavens of ecstasy, as I inhale the combined fragrance of her natural, naked neck and her luscious, laudable locks,
I stop and pinch myself; oh it’s real, oh she’s real.
She is superb, a figure like that of an hour glass curve, by another I could never be deterred.
Intoxicated by her essence my speech is slurred; my vision is blurred by the golden goddess glow of her twin globes.
From her head down to her toes, every aspect of her, it’s true.
It’s so; she brings life to my inanimate soul
Behold the face of my angel…
ACROSS THE ROOM
Across the room, eyes glaring, souls staring one another down; Sound? No sound, pound for pound look round and round the room, no one matters, and no one exist.
Fits of passion they imagine, glasses clashes, champagne splashes, lightning flashes as long as it lasts, and it’s over. Long story short, fiction, non-fiction, eyes wide open but missin, instead of gettin, still wishin on fallen stars. Two lives worlds apart, still march to the beat of the same drum, dum, da, dum, dum, dum, and young, love sprung, love songs echo between the ears; the mind misgives and uselessly perseveres, the thrill of the kill, the sweet smell of the yield, ripe fruit in season, three months till next season, listen to reason. Committing high treason, cold hand freezin, the seasons stand still; cold thoughts cleavin, minds delusional at will, cold hearts even in the midst of your being. You’re seeing clearer today than yesterday; from across the room, choosing to assume and not moving too soon and waiting to see if, the rose buds bloom and the bells you are hearing are chatters in the room and as soon as you get the chance to, break through, guess who, you, pursue, what though assume you never knew; Across the room, eyes glaring, souls staring one another down, sound? No sound, pound for pound; look round and round, no one matters, no one exists.
Stolen Fruit
Stolen fruit is sweet. Off limits, forbidden, somewhat hidden; I have found a piece, a single piece of fruit, on a tree all alone. I’ll take it home, or better, take it to a secret place, a secluded place, and there it will stay, waiting for me to sneak a taste whenever I want it. No can’t flaunt it, so sensitive and soft, be modest or you might get caught, with stolen fruit. Illusive they seem, hence forbidden fruit is rarely seen. I mean, sneak, peek, hide and seek, speak softly, low, kind of deep, wide awake while fast asleep, forbidden fruit, now hidden for me; set aside in disguise, a masquerade, pair of lokes, defined dark shades, to cover my eyes, hide my identity cause what’s going down between my fruit and I could end in catastrophe. Shh, keep it down, when I bite don’t make a sound, juices flow, let me drink, I’ll eat this fruit slow, must make it last as long as I can, this forbidden fruit is finally in my hands. Am I wrong for eating in secret, alone? It could be worse, I could search and search till I find more, hidden fruit, forbidden fruit, off limits sweet stolen fruit; this fruit is good, nice, just right. With gentle bite after bite, I devoured this fruit in just two short hours. This fruit, my stolen fruit is gone. This sweet turned sour as my heart and my mind falls like the twin towers, louder, and louder I hear them crash. I feel sad, alone, and at my self mad. Was it worth the last, just to be able to say, I had - stolen fruit?
FOR ME
Like the victorious thrill one feels after conquering a quest, like scaling Mount Ever - rest, I must never rest; I shall never settle for less, you see I desire the best. I’ve passed the test 100% the best, what’s next? Another quest, you…
The heart can believe what the mind may question;
Be my oasis, my island private at sea, my place of escape, my cool summer breeze, with ease just agree to never tell me no; Be my early mornings dew, my sweet roses fragrance not one but two; be my winters 1st virgin snow, even though its summer, stop now take time to ponder my words. Unheard I know, I expect to only hear yes, or I’ll try from you, because you agreed to never tell me no. What’s my name? Say it again, why? I like to hear words spoken then a squeal, cool breeze blows, I’ve got chills. Oh yes, will you be my light in the night, my fruit in the trees, and promise to taste always so sweet? My perfectly portioned P.Y.T, my crack, my rock, after which I fiend? Spoil me, be with me, stay with me, lay with me, sleep with me, awake with me, for me , with me.
I probably want more than could ever be, none the less, I ask, will you be, for me?
THOSE EYES
I never would have believed that there were so many lies behind those eyes. Those brilliant, beautiful, deceiving eyes. I would have been insane to believe that those eyes could/would cause me so much pain. Experiencing in a year, 365 days of rain. Gray clouds, black clouds, out of which the lightning’s so bright and the thunder’s so loud;
The showers subside then a thought comes and I picture those lying eyes; I think to myself why oh why? Though they try they can’t hold back, those dark clouds start to cry, even as I. Why did I believe a lie??? Those Eyes!!!
MY WAY
If I could, I’d put my love all around you, like a warm blanket on a cold winters’ night; I’d keep you shaded from the sun, and you would never see a cloudy day; This is how I would express my love for you, to you, if I had my way. If I could, every pain or hurt you’ve ever felt, I’d feel it too, that I might accurately empathize with you; I’d free you from frustration, calm your thoughts from confusion, allow your heart to be free, and your mind to conceive only good thoughts every day; This is how I would express my love to you, for you, if I had my way. I’d paint the sky your favorite color, climb atop the highest mountain and sing to you and absolutely no other; I’d swim whatever sea to prove that you and I are meant to be; I’d walk the desert plains, dance till the clouds release the rain, rearrange all the stars to make them spell out your name, dissolve all my fortune, my fame, it would never be your fault I’d always take the blame; I’d give you gold and silver in your past, diamonds in your tomorrow, platinum in your today, and endeavor to clothe myself with all the jewels that fall with every word that you say. This is how I would express my love for you, to you, if I had my way.
I’d make you smile and laugh always, and have little birds whisper to you the sweet nothings that I want to say; I’d love you more, better, and harder with each passing day; this is how I would express my love to you, for you, if I had my way…
MY LITTLE PIECE OF HEAVEN
Each thought, each phone call, each letter, each visit. Just as complete as the number seven, is how I feel with each of these, my little pieces of heaven;
My dreams, my visions, your voice so filled with love, you speak I listen; the sweet fragrance on your letters, and the words of love and encouragement that you write, coupled with the emotions that you express, makes each letter that I receive from you the letter I love best. With each passing week, I thoroughly enjoy the four hours that we meet, we greet with butterfly kisses cheek to cheek. Exquisite delight and perfect peace, my little piece of heaven, amidst the belly of this ferocious beast, is you and me.
MY WIFE
Sweet in every way, more beautiful everyday, if you see her then you’ll understand why I say what I say.
My Wife…
A woman of God plenteous in virtue, over flowing with wisdom, my God you put us together; I thank you for what you’ve done.
My Wife…
In my ears when she speaks, MMM, inviting her voice so sweet, soft and gentle. In this game of choose the perfect mate, I’ve won, yes it is now done, established, official, this is,
My Wife..
Queen of Belize, and in my eyes queen of Jamaica, Brazil, the U.S, and Arabia, and all the nations of the world the crowns of their queens at her feet they hurl.
My Wife…
Playful and fun, whenever there’s a trial she never runs, but faces it head on and makes it, like a lion when he sees his prey, he takes it.
My Wife…
Gentle as a dove, I know her love was sent directly from above, with much love, hugs and kisses does she shower me, any man that has eyes can see that she is the figment of their perfect dream, is there anything more I could ask for.
My Wife…
My friend, my lover, and my girl next door, she’s also the one I flirt with at the store,
My Wife…
The one I love and adore, I thank you Father I couldn’t have asked you for more than what you’ve given me in
My Wife…
I LOVE YOU
I love you. I do. I love you. No, at this time I’m not expecting to hear you say it back, as a matter of fact, relax, allow me to express the way I feel, cause for you my dear this love is real. The thrill of your smile drives me wild, your style, demeanor, charisma is amazing to me, soul saving to me, redeeming to me, heart cleansing to me. I see no need to open my eyes to another, it’s to late love has hypnotized my heart. Your mind is sharp, I see you’re a lot smarter than you think, one wink of your eye sends the stars of my world into disarray, dismay it seems, but your loving arms when wrapped around me oh, and love takes me deeper than any dream, it’s sweeter than strawberries and cream, I mean, I love you. With you so serene my life seems to flow up stream. Sun, crystal clear beams, dark skies, bright moon gleams, gentle soul, sweet spirit, meek of heart, mild tempered, you my love are my new adventure. Up top mountain peaks our love is so steep, below valleys deep even as our love grows week after week. Can’t eat, can’t sleep, less we be as - one, to - gether. It’s seldom that my thoughts are free of you. You, you, you,
I - love - you.
BRIDE
Five pennies plus 1 nickel, 2 nickels or 10 pennies, a dime a brief description of mine. I’d be lying if I said she wasn’t as smooth as a late year high dollar wine. It’s almost a crime for one bride to be so fine, an 8 or a 9, nope I said a 10, with great honor I carry the title her best friend. What we have will last through thick and thin. A friend and more, I am sure she is the bride I’ve waited for. My bride by my side I will reside with my personal piece of the pie, so lie? Why? I will keep true that we may fly high as eagles do. A promise to my bride, not only your body, but your mind, and your talents I will pursue. I’ll do all I know that’s pleasing to you. You take my breath away, I’m wheezing at the thought of you leaving, dreams fleeing, truth bringing clarity that my bride truly, really wanted to marry me and carry me away with the love she gives. I feel safe, no longer debate is she the one, is he the one, we both found our perfect mate. To have and to hold, to build and to mold. So complete, so whole, she is my mate, and thusly this love will always stay.
I DO LOVE YOU
Beautiful blues, passionate purples, like the bands - we wear, my sweet, my love for you runs in circles and circles, proceeds round and round. Your voice sings like chimes in a breeze, I am pleased to be the one you want and need, please let me always be. A Blue bird’s song. A Humming bird’s hum. The majestic music that my loved heart strums. My loved hearts song is “OOh wee you love me, ooh wee we were meant to be, ooh wee together we will always be, ooh wee, ooh wee you love me.” Beautiful you, passionate us two. For you I have three words that are true, I love you, I love you, I love you…
ONE FOR ALL
Oh God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change, and courage to change the things I can. Though from the start at first glance my heart had no chance. From the beginning I was sentenced to diligently going after that I might obtain shear perfection, you. My feelings are strange, hard I try to rearrange my thoughts at what cost? Nothing, no success.
I am less than I was; my completion afar yet in my grasp, on the past I snag my shirt as I go after love. The first hug, then kiss, I wish time did not exist; still, motionless this is bliss.
In the dark alone I sit, this must be it, like a glove this queen fits so I quit, I give in, in to love.
Wedding vows silence the crowd as all are wowed at our love displayed; it’s strange but all too soon trying times came, it’s not the same, things have changed. Give me the ability to accept the things I can’t change.
My heart in her hands, her heart in my hands, be careful, tender, delicate, precious, fragile pieces of flesh in the hands at the demand or command of another, forever.
Till death do we part, apart from the fairytale, is death what we hail? No. I smell Enfamil, Similac, baby poop in a sack, family bar-be-ques at the park, yet we are snared by the truths now a part of our lives. We strive to move forward, it’s awkward at times, it’s not the same things have changed, we feel the strain, yet we still gain ground.
Around and around it seems but precious ground is obtained if we abstain from the lies and meditate not on the past that seems to last no matter how hard we try, we cry.
Oh God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and courage to change the things I can. Give me the might to love unconditionally as I do myself…
THE TWO OF US
Side by side as we walked. We talked, we laughed and cried together. Remember we enjoyed life together.
We sailed through the good times, and pressed our way through the hard times. You were always here for me, and I was always there with you.
We used to be so close. I can only wonder, what happened? What happened to us? We used to be so close. You and me, me and you, we were one, inseparable. And now I am so afraid, because I feel so alone, so confused I don’t know what to do.
Where oh where did our relationship go? I remember, I never would speak much unless it was of you, now I don’t speak much of you at all.
Do I love you? Of course I do. I just don’t know what to do to get the two of us back the way we used to be…
LOVE
Many have seen though not perceived. Many have heard yet not understood the colors of love. Music and sound, rhythm, motion, boisterous ocean, the mouth of love is open.
Hear her words, receive her thoughts, both are sought after with money as though they can be bought, clearly taking no thought as to who or what she is;
The wealthiest, the cleverest, never affectionless, don’t miss this, she’s eloquent, far from powerless this Miss, Ms., Mrs., what are your wishes for love?
Royalty, fearless, delicate, painless if you choose. A mistress of many faces, beautiful and dainty, weightless as a 20 - ton stone, sown perfectly seamless, some have had and now miss love.
Hard rock, jazz whatever your taste, all possess her essence, her presence, her grace. She’s sweet, she’s kind, I claim her, she’s all mine; Selfish.
Her price I can’t pay, so I try to lure her to the place where the ground ends and love falls helplessly in, with me, that we may flow as though no one else exists.
That’s it; I have her, it, Love.
FORGIVE BUT DON’T FORGET
Forgive but don’t forget, don’t forget but always forgive. My heart conceives this concept to be real, as mine.
So I, circumcise my mind as not to criticize, point fingers or tell lies. In doing so I multiply my size able to reach the skies grab a cloud, then smile. Because I’ve found what it takes to disregard our mistakes, erase the past lies, forgiving but never forgetting the pain deep inside.
Forgiving but never forgetting how we did loose sleep, wept and cried.
By the rivers and streams it seems so pristine, my life seems so clean, my past redeemed.
On the mountain tops I drop a thought to see how far it falls, my voice echoes as I call, I call, call, call. I call out to the past as far as my ancestors land.
I stand firm, the wind slaps my cheek, so I turn the other. To my brother and sister I discern it’s my turn, your turn, our turn.
Learn, forgive but don’t forget, that’s it, with this poem I’m through, I quit.
REASON FRUIT
It’s a rare thing, but a beautiful smile is displayed whenever she’s seen; Fruit out of reach, one relatively unknown yet much sweeter than a peach, it is a Reason. I am dazzled at the sight contemplating how one day I just might have at least one bite.
A Reason, ripened with the fresh scent of spring, mental frustration is what it brings as I seek for the whereabouts of this elusive fruit; I search orchard after orchard for this Reason that I might lay hold of it, I miss, I miss.
Search high, search low, behind every leaf, where could she be?
Finally I see this sweet, beautiful, during twilight and evening this mysterious Reason.
But why do I excite myself when all I have is a mere glimpse in passing and nothing else?
Not me, her beauty, her physique, her eyes all together they hypnotize, but I realize what I desire, right now can’t be; so I smile as I observe this beautiful, rare, elusive Reason fruit hanging from a tree, just out of reach of me…
L - O - V - E
Many people say and I quote “you are too young to even know what love is, or mean,” my question, what age is old enough to know?
Love is what you see it to be.
It comes in many different shades, colors, tones, rhythms, and even sizes.
Some say I love the color green, or I love this instrument, or I love that beat and some even go as far as saying I love you thissss much. You see, love is a deep feeling of fondness or affection for something or someone.
This of course is a simplistic definition of the word or term love.
Love can and will be a wonderful experience or a very painful one.
Love, it’s all up to you, you choose your experience of love.
THE WAY I WANT TO
I’m not loving you the way I want to.
They are so far away, yes my arms from you. It’s true I can’t love you the way I want to.
The flowers don’t bloom, the birds don’t sing, the bees don’t sting, and the sun no longer brings - rays, light. Brighter days I haven’t seen, I lift my voice to sing and not so much as a bell would ring. Sweet dreams are nightmares to me; cause with you is where I want to be.
Sweet, I can’t love you the way I want to.
Even though I try, it will never be what I desire, like fire the flames may start small but indeed gets higher and higher and higher.
My love for you, like that fire grows and grows.
I suppose you already know that, I love you so, even though it’s still true, I’m not loving you the way I want to….
HEART SPEAKS
You called me, and my heart answered.
My heart truly heard you knocking and invited you in.
And in return I have the pleasure of loving a wonderful woman.
You told me to come to you, my heart replied “how close?” you answered “till we become all - one.”
So my heart drew so close till it could feel its own beat no more, only yours.
You stretched out your hands, I looked, but my heart launched himself into them. He knew that there is safety in your arms.
You said “live for me”, and my heart said, “Without you I would not beat, for you are life and without you there is none.”
You said “love me unconditionally.” My heart said “I wouldn’t dare try to love you any other way.”
Now I’ll display to you the things my heart has said. I love you. Unconditionally? Yes, of course.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
MY FAVORITE
My favorite. My favorite.
My favorite thing is laughter. I laugh and laugh and laugh! It’s my favorite.
My favorite color is black, I know its dark, demented and destitute of light, but I like it. It’s my favorite.
My favorite emotion is love. Why? Well because, it is love. Contrary to popular belief love does not hurt, it actually feels good. It comes in many different shapes, sizes and colors, and of course love comes in form of persons. I know because I have a love and I love my love, she is my favorite. Love it’s my favorite.
My favorite truth is you, love. More than a tug at my heart, a shove, no a pull, a tug-of-war, I am sore from wrestling against my will, though useless to try, I lie hopelessly in my favorite truth, love, that’s you. It’s my favorite.
My favorite weather is rain; it comes at the highest brightest most sun shiniest days of my life. And though sometimes this rain brings pain, I’ve learned to appreciate the benefits I gain. With the pain comes tears and the rain simply drowns my shame, tears washed right off my face. I dance in the rain, I sing in the rain, strength I gain. The rain, it’s my favorite.
My favorite time is twilight, not day nor night, that time in between, when it seems all creation sings. Springs’ greens, an awful voice sings in twilight it all gleams I mean it seems to leave no questions unanswered, no mystery unsolved. All truth is known, all lies are shown, my song is yours, your song is mine, twilight is found throughout all times. Twilight is mine, it’s my favorite.
My favorite day is tomorrow, the day after today, the day that came after yesterday. Tomorrow I can and will be whatever I want to be you’ll see, you’ll see, tomorrow I’ll be. I’ll be an astronaut, why not? Tomorrow I’ll be more free to be me, to see further than I have before, to laugh harder than yesterday. Tomorrow I will be better than today, better than yesterday. Tomorrow I will do something I’ve never done, win a race I’ve never won. Tomorrow I will sing louder than today, dance wilder than an ape, tomorrow I will escape all the pains and sorrows of yesterday and today. Tomorrow I will at least try, tomorrow, tomorrow it is my favorite.
FROM A DISTANCE
From a distance, I observe, and heard sweet words un-slurred, superb; undisturbed in my ears, your celestial voice, my wounded soul is healed; you give me, chills…
From a distance, a connection was made, I played with the thought of what could be, what we, could be, what we, could have; what could be?
From a distance I was driven to glide across the room, but I wait, too soon; I moved slowly, wholly, eye contact maintained, your beauty untamed, I feel drained, be-feeble knees, oh please, oh please;
Where is your hand, I bid you, do extend it to me, why not we take this chance and see, if we, are meant, to be;
From a distance you threw subtle hints, I didn’t hesitate, I went after every bait, ecstasy, in your trap, I can’t break free. I don’t want to, I don’t want to. From a distance I am smitten, you’ve got me wishing, hoping, as in dark for the light I am groping for you, to my heart I’m asking, please be true, stay, true…
From a distance everything, even kissing; from hello, to hey; from I like you to our first date; from our first kiss to I have to leave for now, you will be missed; from wedding bliss to two children and now this, now this.
From a distance, we were, we are, even from a distance…
WHO KNEW???
Who knew that I would cause you so much pain, bring unspeakable shame and leave you with the strain of the family that drains you slowly, and still I subtly say to you, “Hold me?” Unbelievable I know but true, who knew? Who knew we’d be so soon separated? Hearts anticipating reuniting, exciting it would be, separated though, are you and me. I need you, you need me, together we should be, yet because of me, separated are we.
Oh how I love you, I do, I do; me separated from you, unimaginable, who knew?
Had I known, I would have sown seeds of escape like Calgon taken you away to a secluded place. Post haste keep it hushed even to Patmos, exiled all the while - united delighted in the truth that you are with me and I am with you; believe me this is how we would be if I only knew.
Who knew?
YOU
YOU, my heart melts at the mere thought of YOU.
At times I miss you so much that I can’t articulate my thoughts into words, all I can say is, YOU.
I am pining for you; and in a deeper context, losing strength, visual and mental abilities and as you would say “I am pining away”.
It is at the moments when I am, well, I don’t know what to do, that I do, simply say, YOU.
You animate my life, allow my heart to feel no fright, turn my days from dark to light. You love me in spite of, in light of my flaws and all my mess and yes like a hand in a glove we two fit, and I like it, I like it, ooh, ooh, and I like it. And it is because of this, when your not around all I do is say, YOU.
ALWAYS
Over time we’ve had some ups and downs. Like the beautiful expression of a carousel, the love that we have, as the bands that we wear goes round and round, unending, unbreakable, stupendous, truly remarkable, our force is absolutely unstoppable.
My love for you has grown, of this truth, I pray to you I’ve shown. My mind for you is still blown, for you I’m going, going, gone, head over heals, to this day I feel butterflies when you are near.
I love you more today than I ever have before, and I pray that this special love we share will last forever more. Let’s hold on tight, eternity is near.
I’ll do my best to ease your fears, to keep you close, to hold you dear. If by chance you look up some day and see that I’m not here, consider closely your heart and you will hear, the song of my love so loud and clear, “Please have no fear, my love, I’m always near.”
I’ll love you till the days are no more, till the waters of the seas proceeds past the shore.
I’ll love you till the winds cease to blow; and the celestial lights no longer glow, always.
I’ll love you till our hairs turn grey and our bodies get old, wrinkled up and pass away.
I’ll love you till the clock stops and the current heavens crumble and drop.
I’ll love you till life as we know it ends and we together enjoy as eternity begins, always.
ONE BREATH
If every poem I write would take your breath away, I’d cause my writings to stretch from the valleys to the hills, then I’d give you my breath so that you could live. Then still, I’d write poem after poem so that you would be pleased, and every time you’d wheeze, I’d be there to blow you a life sustaining breath’s breeze.
Oh please, do tell me, what does it take to sweep you off your feet?
To make your heart flutter every time I speak?
To cause your body to shudder with every touch of my hand, where your knees tremble so vehemently that it’s hard for you to stand?
Oh my desire, reveal today and when you do I’ll go out of my way to pursue all of those things to woo you.
I believe you could be mine, if only I knew how to blow your mind. The right words to say to have you floating on cloud nine, and when you close your eyes the only face you’d see is mine. Only to you my heart is inclined.
Oh my solitude, my serenity, my complexly combined cluster of completion and contentment, do gently press your cheek to my chest and take heed to the uttering’s of my heart. My secret chamber is opened to your rummaging, come make haste to ravish my body as you have so done to my soul, I am sold into slavery to thee.
It is now easy to see; I for you, you for me, we two have become one, complete.
YOU
If my life ever had meaning, it has meaning when I’m with you.
If I ever loved, I love you.
If I ever had a dream, you are my dream come true.
If ever I had a desire, I desire you.
If I’ve ever aspired to be more, I aspire to be more for you.
If ever I have fantasized, you are my fantasy fulfilled.
If I have ever pined at all, I pine for you.
If I’ve ever danced in life, I dance this life’s dance with you.
If ever I have seen a sculpture, I am sculpted into the person that I am by you.
If I have ever seen the sun shine, I see it in you, the sunshine of my life.
If I’ve ever heard the sounds of music,
I hear melodies so sweet every time you speak.
If ever I have experienced joy,
I experience the pinnacle of joy when you’re near.
If I’ve ever been any where, I have struggled through hell, and sailed through heaven with you.
If ever, when ever, where ever, it is, with you, for you, by you.
YOU.
BEAT’S RELIEF
The thoughts of the love, that enslaved our hearts and wooed us to make a life’s covenant; to become one through consummation in the secret of our lovers chambers, is all too quickly replaced by the overwhelming wails of my crying heart.
Though dark, the sun is peering through the grey clouds of demising circumstance, causing the falling rain drops of depressions hand to appear as gold trimmed, crystal, tears; they hit the dirt of my hurt, springing life to my blood stained earth.
What life can there be, in a land as barren as the Dead Sea?
Life indeed, cause undoubtedly that barren deep exist within me.
My hope is frail but it’s hard to kill;
My hope is frail but it exists because of my will.
The truth of our love, on that stone I build strength.
Whatever may come my way, that love’s banner is raised;
I am not afraid, I am brave; I am not afraid, I am courageous;
I am not afraid, although at times there is much to fear.
I walk amidst the lifeless in this valley called death,
I search frantically hoping to find something of wealth that will hoist me from the trenches deep, and extradite me back to my enslaving love where I desire to be.
Like a tree, my years seem numberless, nights of unrest, the hours are slumberless, I wonder if I’m alone, alone.
How long till I am free, free to be me, free to exhale, far from the dense darkness of this hell?
Free to where my heart no longer yells in pain, sobbing uncontrollably, in pain, to a place where I no longer have to battle daily just to remain sane?
And just as quickly as they were replaced, they return again,
the thoughts of our love that enslaved our hearts and has enabled us to love one another more and more even though we live so far apart.
For you, the freedom I seek, my heart does sigh, its beat’s relief.
I’LL SLAVE FOR YOU
Free me from my current slave master;
I’ll slave for you.
Remove these chains of hatred and displacement and bind me with your fetters of love,
I’ll slave for you.
Place your yoke about my neck,
Fill my mouth with your bit and lead me with your dreams and goals, paid for with your love, I’m sold.
I’ll slave for you.
Until I’m old, I will gladly serve doing everything I’m told, regardless the size of the load.
I’ll slave for you.
Toil, slave, I will until my soul expires, tirelessly for you, my final breath will declare your loves wealth.
I’ll slave for you.
It’s true, I’m dying inside, I’ve tried to live free, me for you, you for me is all I need, shackle, tie, bind me, oh please do.
I will slave for you.
THE LAST
Your face is what I see when I close my eyes; I could never do enough to be satisfied; one last time is never the last time.
When you know that we will never dance again, how many dances will be enough? Which dance will be the last dance?
How many kisses would be able to quench my thirst for the sweet nectar of your lips, and, your lips? Which kiss would be deemed as the last kiss?
Last night I clenched a picture of you in my hand and proceeded to offer up prayers for you, and half way through, the dam of my eyes broke and uncontrollably tears began to flow, oh how I miss you so.