Guardians of the Gate saga
Books 3 & 4
Prisoners of Pride
Ami Rebecca Blackwelder
Enter a World of Elfin Romance
© 2010 Ami Rebecca Blackwelder
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Edited by Eloquent Enraptures Copy edited by Magnolia BelleCover art by Eloquent Enraptures
Back Story
Novel One, The Gate of Lake Forest, Michael Cole and Evelyn meet at Green Mountain High in Colorado and are deeply drawn to each other. Michael follows her into the forest one evening and discovers her hidden mystical realm and her true elfin identity. While in the forest, Michael acquires a gift of flying which only occurs in her world and through reading of the elf history books, learns of other creatures of darkness, like black horses and crimson vultures. Though the elder elf council forbid human interactions, nothing can keep the two apart, not even shadow wolves and black dragons bent on destroying Evelyn, Michael and their worlds. Breaking all the rules, the two innocent lovers stay together until Evelyn must return to her world, Emeralusia, to help defend the land in a war created by the dark elf, Eris.
Novel Two, begins where The Gate of Lake Forest ends, with Evelyn having returned to Emeralusia and Michael alone in the forests of Colorado mourning her ab-sence. When Michael Cole graduates, he is compelled to re-enter Evelyn’s mystical world to save her from the dangers in her world, despite the warnings from the elder council. He embarks on a journey he never could have imagined and must be stronger than ever as he enters an Emeralusia torn by war and death. As the two lovers reunite and love is rekindled, ancient secrets and ancient words are revealed, challenging their loyalties to humans and elves. The dark elf Eris rallies his forces and Emeralusia is falling to ruin. Will Michael and Evelyn and the other elves survive?
There are six books to this series and each novel is comprised of two books. This is the second novel.
The Gate of Lake Forest
Book One - Spring: Three months of seasonal birth of Evelyn into Michael’s life
Book Two - Summer: Three months of seasonal departure of Evelyn from Michael’s life
Book Three - Fall: Three months of seasonal death of Evelyn’s world
Book Four - Winter: Three months of seasonal rebirth
An Inquisition of Innocence
Book Five - Evelyn: Six months of death in Michael’s world
Book Six - Lynia: Six months of rebirth in Mi-chael’s world
Book 3: Fall
MONTH SEVEN: SEPTEMBER
Wounded
Doubt
Dreams
Sarah
Friends
Heart Beats
Still
For Her
MONTH EIGHT: OCTOBER
Union
Nightfall
Lilly
Stampede
Elders
Secrets
The Ancients
Beasts
MONTH NINE: NOVEMBER
Eris
Struggle
Searching
Shadow Lands
Thunder
White Forest
Surrender
Cold
“When you follow your heart, you go into the unknown…and once you do, you can never go back.”
Preface
Daunted by her lack of breath, I worry. Her body trembles and convulses. Color fades to a deathly white. Her body be-comes colder. Tears burst from my eyes. I have to move forward, have to put her into the lake. I have to do this for her and give her this one last chance at life.
My thoughts wander to the darkest corners of my mind, cor-ners I’ve never gone to before. I am alone in this bitterness: this sour air, this calloused life filled with defeat and darkness. I lay her in the lake, panting with exhaustion. “I don’t know how to save you.” My body shakes as I pour the water over her face, over her skin. “Don’t leave, don’t leave me.” I rock her in my arms, cra-dling her close to me.
When Evelyn returned to her world last summer, I felt as if a part of me disappeared with her through that invisible hidden gate in the forest, dividing her world and mine. Elfin ears would scratch under my neck when she nestled with me. Her lilac and honeysuckle scents sweetened her skin. Emerald eyes, which dif-ferentiated her from the turquoise-eyed elves, told me I could trust her. I could always trust an emerald-eyed elf.
The landscape of Emeralusia was breathtaking in spring and summer when I followed her through her invisible gate in the forest. I received a gift in her world for flying. The turquoise-eyed shadow hunters also taught me lessons on hunting and trust, for when they hunt dark beasts, humans might get in their way. But her world, despite its flaws, makes me feel something more. Magical. Hopeful. As if anything is possible.
I long to see her family. Eve and Nile are like parents to me, too, and Venda is like my own baby sister. Despite the tensions between myself and her ‘older brother’, Wind, I even find myself hoping for a chance to see him, too. I don’t know how much longer I’ll have to wait. The war Evelyn returned to is unpredict-able. The dark elf Eris, black horses, crimson vultures, black dragons and shadow wolves ruin the world in which she lives. War is brutal. War separates us now.
I’ve been trying to find a way to end that separation all summer...
Chapter 1:
Month Seven: September
Wounded
A hole in the forest is all I have left to remind myself of Evelyn. A hole much like the one in my heart, both are invisible to the naked human eye. Returning to the forest in the daylight, I plod over the moist soil we ran across so many times. I brush against the foliage and trees, hoping for a scent of her, strong enough to still keep me entranced. But there’s nothing. The only face I ever see is from the coldness of the new guardian of the gate, Rein. Her uncompromising emotions. Rigid eyes.
This absence would not be as brutal if I had contact with Venda or if Nile and Eve had joined me in my world. But I’ve heard from no one. No one remembers me here, so far away from their realm. The war keeps them all occupied, too busy to think of the pathetic needs of my heart. They’re busy surviving.
I’m ripped back to my world when Mom calls me from down-stairs. Hesitantly, I walk down the stairs to the living room where Mom sits in her favorite green rocking chair.
1“A letter has been left for you at the front door,” Mom informs me. “It doesn’t say who it’s from.” Perhaps Venda brought the note in the middle of the night. I open the letter as I sit on the sofa adjacent to Mom while she rocks back and forth.
Dearest Michael,
I have with eagerness and determination talked to my parents, Nile and Eve, into leaving this place and joining you in your world where they will be safe.
But they refuse. They tell me they cannot abandon their world. They say this war is as much their own as it is mine. They will not depart from here and I worry for their safety.
They want me to thank you for your kindness in inviting them to stay and to also thank you for all the kindness you have shown them since we have known you, but they have decided to fight in Emeralusia until the war is over and elves rule it in peace once again.
Loving You Always, Evelyn
This disappointment hurts like a slap in the face. I miss all the little things. Somehow everything about Evelyn whirls me away from the stress and disappointment of my mundane life in Green Mountain Falls to a world where possibility exists, where I can be anyone and do anything, where every fear and hurt heal in-stantly.
I try to not think about her. I’ve had a lot of practice. When anguish doesn’t consume me, I smile, knowing I’ll join her soon. I live most of my days this way. It’s how I survive. She’s fighting an external battle, but mine wages deep within. Distractions hide the memories seeping out of my veins, leaving a delectable flavor, tempting me to return to them. If I concentrate on my friends, my magazines, it’s easier to forget her… or at least dis-place her.
I spend much of my time this week looking over brochures for colleges, Yale included. Dad notices me, says nothing, but smiles and nods as he passes me in the kitchen. Sitting at the table, I flip through pamphlets and prepare what to say in interviews. It’s not that I want to attend the first semester this fall, but I want to be prepared for any future. The wolves are gone and I have a new hope I didn’t have before. One where I could survive.
I’ve decided if I don’t hear from Evelyn by winter, I’ll attend my first semester of college, whether it’s Yale or not. I can recu-perate in fall from all of the emotional turmoil and prepare what I need in finances. My parents are going to pay for the dorm, tui-tion and books, but I have to pay for my food, gas and utilities.
Still, sometimes at night, when I don’t have my friends to distract me or books to entertain me, I think of her and pray for mercy. Mercy in this war. For my broken heart. In the tiniest bit of moonlight trailing into my room over my sheets, I imagine the light of the gate. The light of her world. But then the darkness creeps in and suffocates the light and the gate disappears. Clos-ing my eyes, she inhabits my dreams.
I awaken to a cold morning. The fall is finally here. The leaves of orange, yellow, and brown twist from the trees to the sides of the road and into the forest. A cool breeze blows across con-tented people passing in the streets, content because they can walk in safety now that the animal killings of summer have van-ished. That is what it was called on television, ‘animal killings’. Newscasters and rangers tell us they’ve had no sign of the crea-tures responsible for all the wildlife death for some time. In the meantime, they tell us to enjoy our autumn but to be cautious.
Sarah races up the street outside my window. Robby grabs a pile of leaves and tosses them over Sarah’s head. The leaves scat-ter around her in the wind, like a delicate dance, cascading around her tall figure, and Sarah falls to the sidewalk, laughing. Robby falls next to her like a leaf, laughing like a child. I watch them in my somber mood with my face pressed against the glass of my window. My nose breathes fog onto the glass. I’m locked up against their laughter, closed against the change this fall brings. But the smiles on their faces take my fingers to the lock and Pushing the window open, I allow their presence to encom-pass me. Cool breezes rush in as if it has run out of patience, and carries the season’s change with it. Then I hesitantly, but surely, chuckle and peek at them below as they glance up at me.
“Come out and join us,” Robby calls out to me.
Grabbing my winter sweater in mournful motion, I throw the garb over my grey tee shirt and blue jeans. Jeans are light blue like my eyes. As I open the front door, the cool air rushes across my body and a smile breaks on my stern face. Grabbing a pile of leaves, I dart toward the two of them. Sarah leaps up with her fingers stretched above her, reaching to the falling leaves. I hop under the canopy of foliage and my fingers touch them, too, and forget for a moment I am wounded.
Robby grabs Sarah to spin her around in the air. She screams and yanks away to run down the street. Robby chases her like a schoolboy with a crush as we race down the street with our first breath of freedom in our Colorado fall. Sounds of children and adults, playing in their front lawns and pretending they never grew up, saturates the streets.
Sarah wants to go into law and will begin this winter. Taylor is still figuring out where he wants to go to college, but knows he wants to major in business management. He puts it off for as long as he can, until his parents force him. Lee is going to MIT. They accepted him immediately. Robby, like me, is unsure. We aren’t certain where life will take us, though for Robby, his rea-sons are far different from my own.
I know I want to do something in literature and writing. Robby enjoys math and science, but his parents push him into business and it’s stifling his motivation for college. Of course, there is also the added issue that Robby is a genius. Everyone can see it when they first meet him, however much social camou-flage he layers over himself.
He is unaffected by social norms, is socially awkward, and usually speaks over the rest of our heads. His interviews, need-less to say, are not always the best. The academic side is perfect. But top universities want more than grades, they want leading personalities. So instead of pursuing the daunting interviews for the universities and risk rejection, he’s here with me.
Robby and Sarah are the only two friends still here for me. Lee is busy checking out MIT and Taylor wants to travel and have as much fun as he can before college. Everyone is moving on with their life and I’m still here waiting, waiting for my spring to come back to me. I wonder if I wait in vain.
Doubt
I shouldn’t question her love for me. Shouldn’t question her loyalty. But I do. Did she leave because she wanted to defend her world, or was there a bigger reason, because she wanted to leave me? Perhaps we are just too different. Maybe she wanted me to forget her. But if that’s her plan, she’s failing, because her absence only makes me long for her more.
Pain is a fickle friend. Some days it leaves me alone and some days it eats me up whole. Today is one of those pain days. I can’t stop thinking about her and memories consume me, remember-ing our talks, kisses, and long walks in Lake Forest. She may never return. I have to deal with that fact, but my heart breaks. I tell myself she left because she had to, because she needed to. But I’m growing tired of my excuses. I hold the letter, the poem, she left me before her departure and think of those words, her last words to me:
In the evening, when we‘re sitting By the fire perchance alone, Then shall heart with warm heart meeting, Give responsive tone for tone.
Her words tell me her love is true, that she cries, too, and that her pain is also too much for her. Crushing the doubt filling me, I meditate on those words written so long ago. I sit at the dinner table with Mom and Dad, eating a potato and steak dinner. We eat in silence with Dad eyeing me.
My parents believe Evelyn is at college, preparing for a degree in nursing. They wonder why I haven’t taken to college as quickly, especially since it’s all I dreamed of since I was a kid. If they only knew the truth about her. She’s not away at college. She’s fighting for the survival of her world and the life of her people. Her and her kind saved us from the shadow wolves last summer. Evelyn is who we all have to thank for feeling safe on our streets again. But no one knows it, except me.
I’ll give Evelyn till winter. If she doesn’t return then, I’ll have to forget her, and sacrifice my ‘normal life’ to be with her, just as she sacrificed her safety to save me. But I can’t wait forever. I wish this time without her could move like the speed of sound, too fast for me to feel. But I feel the anguish too often.
Bouncing my soccer ball on the front lawn with my knees, I toss the ball back and forth between my feet. Knocking the black and white soccer ball with my head, it flies into the neighbor’s yard.
“Is that you, Michael?” Mrs. Brine says behind the open win-dow. Gray hair is bundled up into a bun on top of her head that looks like a bird’s nest. “Wait right there.” She stumbles out of her front door and her elderly bones move in hesitant motions. She uses a cane in her left hand. “How are you doing, Michael? I haven’t seen you in some time.”
“I’m fine, Ms. Brine. Thank you,” I lie. A constructed smile spreads across my face. “I’ve been pretty busy with all the college applications and interviews. No time to do much else.”
“Have you been accepted? You were always such a smart boy,” she says. “You won’t have any trouble at all getting into college.”
That’s true. I am smart and my grades and extracurricular ac-tivities give me a head start into any college I want. But if I go now, I’m turning my back on Evelyn, on the life that still could return to me.
“College hunting is going well,” I report. “I have a few colleges picked out, but I’m taking it slow, making sure I make the right decision.” That part is true.
“So, how come I never see Evelyn at your home anymore?” Ms. Brine inquires. “She sure seems like a nice girl.”
That’s when time slowed down or may have actually stopped, at least inside my head. Evelyn? Her name makes me pause and then I remember I have to answer the question.
“Evelyn…” I hesitate. “She’s gone away…to college and she’s doing well there.”
“Well, I hope you two make time for each other. You seem like a nice couple. Much better than your other girlfriend.” Mrs. Brine whispers the last sentence to me. The simplicity of the truth in those words brings a grin.
“Yes, I agree, Evelyn is a better fit,” I say before saying good-bye, and kick my soccer ball to my lawn. Wind blows the ball and I follow it down my street to the edge of the sidewalk where a small forest sits on the other side. It’s not Lake Forest, but simi-lar. With the soccer ball in my hands, I enter and remember this forest...
This is where last summer a shadow wolf ripped sharp teeth into my skin. The weight of its heavy body made me black out. I’ll never forget it, a moment where time disappeared, light dis-appeared, and I was suspended outside of myself, looking down at this fragile young man holding on to his life.
I’ve learned something since that night. I might have to give up more than my ‘normal life’ and more than my future dreams to save Evelyn and her world. I might have to sacrifice my own life to save hers. As I laid in the hospital bed last summer, pulling out of unconsciousness, I was still unable to get up, unable to talk. My eyes opened. Mind awoke. But no one was there to pull me out of it. I had to pull myself out and be strong. A struggle, because Evelyn was in my dreams and I wanted to stay with her. But a part of me, a small part of me, knew that was only a dream.
A bigger part of me knew that if I awoke, I had a chance to be with Evelyn in life, not just in my dreams. Pulling and pushing, I fought through my unconsciousness. With the war in her world, I’ll have to be strong and be willing to sacrifice everything to save her…if I ever get there...
A cold breeze brushes over me and brings me back to the pre-sent. I walk away from the forest, from the moment that brought me face-to-face with my own death. Then, I return to my home a few blocks away and put the soccer ball in the hall closet.
“What do you want for dinner?” Mom shouts to me.
“Anything is fine,” I shout back. Running up to my room, I sit on my bed with my legs crisscrossed, listening to music. Glanc-ing to my window, I feel the cold wind beating against the glass and stare at my bed, then remember Evelyn once in my arms.
At my desk, I notice the books of poetry I read to Evelyn at lunch during our senior year. Glancing to the foot of my bed, I remember Venda, who brought me letters and books from her world. Gazing outside my window, I notice the tree Wind climbed many times and the lawn where the three shadow hunt-ers stood while waiting for me to join them in their hunt.
My whole life is encompassed in this room, these four walls. Every place in this room holds a memory of the time I spent with Evelyn. She did love me, she did love me. I repeat this to myself like a mantra.
“Michael, dinner’s ready,” Mom calls. I rush downstairs to my seat at the dinner table. Mom prepared macaroni and cheese. I scoop myself a portion and eat in silence until Mom interrupts it.
“So, how are things going, Michael?”
“Fine,” I say, flatly, looking over at my parents staring at me. “Fine.”
“Have you decided anything about college yet?” Dad says. “We hate to see you wasting your life here.”
“I want to go to Yale,” I report. “I mailed in the applications months ago, but I’m not going to go until spring next year, earliest. I’m giving myself some time away from school.” Dad nods, satisfied with my answer.
“That’s great,” Mom responds. “I didn’t know you’d already sent in your applications. How long do you think until we hear back from them?”
“I sent my applications in senior year and I should hear back from them soon.”
“I’ll keep my eyes on the mail, then. That would be so great if you get in, Michael,” Mom says. Shoving a spoonful of macaroni into my mouth, I smile.
Dreams
My life fills with dreams the second week of this month. Not the kind of dreams I had unconscious in the hospital bed. Not the kind of dreams that flee when I know they aren’t real, but the kind of dreams that stick in the mind, to the insides like hot glue, and are too real to ignore. I toss and turn, holding my head in fear that they might come true.
Running up the green meadows, the black dragon swoops down out of the blue black sky, sliding past me. I have to run faster and float to get away from the monster. My body flies into the air toward the green forest. The green forest is safe, because the land belongs to elves. I remember Evelyn told me that before she left. Pushing myself forward, Traveling through the thick night air, the black dragon swings around and back toward me. We are two floating beings, fighting for space, fighting for the future.
This gift of flying in her world gives me power to outrun the dragon, but the dragon opens its mouth and its hot red-yellow fire thrusts out like a sword toward my face. Diving to the ground, I roll over in the green forest. Safe. My haven.
The ground is moist from last night’s rain and Evelyn sits on the big rock, waiting for me. Skin is like porcelain, smooth and soft. Emerald eyes sparkle with joy at the sight of me. Hair dan-gles below her shoulders, waving in the cool breeze. I have missed her too much. We run toward each other and hug so tightly it feels like we have become one...
“Michael, Michael!” Mom’s voice rips me away from my dream. Pulling myself out of bed, I shower and ready myself for the day, then meet Sarah and Robby on the driveway. Robby brings his soccer ball and Sarah insists on playing with us. She ties her long, brown, perfectly-trimmed hair back into a ponytail and cracks her knuckles. Robby giggles at the sight.
“You look so intense, Sarah. You’re starting to scare me,” Robby says. Sarah contorts her face into a half smile, half grim-ace.
“Are you ready to play?” Sarah asks. “Oh, I’m ready. Are you?” says Robby.
“Let’s get going,” she says confidently. I look at the two of them in their competitive moods and wonder what happened between them.
“I’ve been practicing, Michael,” Sarah reports. “I’m going to join the soccer team at my college.”
Lee pulls up in his car, hollering, “Hey, wait for me!”
“We’ve got a ball already, Lee,” Robby says. Lee puts his ball on my front lawn. “We have four players. Two teams. Michael’s house is one goal and the house down the street is the other.”
“I’ll team up with Michael.” Sarah walks over to me to seal the deal.
Lee and Robby hawk-eye each other and race a few yards down the street. The game is on and I realize how much I’ve missed playing with them. Lee kicks the ball and Robby chases it toward my end, our invisible goal. Sarah and I have to keep it from going past my house, the invisible line. Robby races to the ball and Lee runs alongside him.
Sarah watches the ball. She doesn’t want to let it past her. She dives for it, but years of practice tell Robby to push the ball to her left toward an open space and he hits it past her. I come in behind and kick the ball in the opposite direction.
Sarah cheers, racing after the rolling ball. Lee runs toward it from his end, but I get to the ball first, kicking toward the house marking my goal. Like old times, Lee and me battling on the field, but I’m too fast for him after all my time spent with Wind and Evelyn, and I outrun him. I hit the ball past the designated goal.
“One point for us!” Sarah cheers. “I knew I picked the right team!” she shouts, winking at me. The game continues like this for a couple of hours with Lee and me head-to-head for the ball and Robby attempting to push it past Sarah. Robby’s years of practice will not let her get past him. By the end of the game, I’ve scored five points for my team, Lee and Robby have scored three, and everyone plods back to my house.
“I think I’ll head home. Mom’s fixing a great dinner,” Robby says and drives away.
“Yeah, I think I’ll be getting home, too.” Lee waves goodbye. “I’ll see you guys later. Good game!” He disappears.
Sarah gazes at me. “I’m not going anywhere,” she says. “Actu-ally if you have time, I thought maybe you’d like to go to the café.”
“Sure.”
“Do you think I could use your shower before heading there?” Sarah asks. “I’m pretty sweaty.”
“Yeah.”
Mom smiles as she watches us. I know what she’s thinking. She’s glad Sarah’s with me and not Evelyn. Not Evelyn, because she didn’t grow up in Colorado (or so Mom thought). Not Eve-lyn, because she made me cry. Not Evelyn, because she didn’t enjoy chatting with my mother. Sarah brought an extra change of clothes in her backpack and put on a pair of faded jeans and a green sweater. After showering, I throw on my favorite jeans, a tee shirt and brown leather jacket.
“So, what are your plans for tonight?” Mom asks. “Sarah and I are heading to the café. We’ll be back later.”
“Alright, don’t stay out too late,” Mom yells as we head out the front door.
Sarah loves my new convertible and rubs her hands along the leather seats. We arrive at the café with the top down. Sarah still has her hair tied into a ponytail. My short, dark hair blows wildly. When we get out of the car, Sarah giggles as she rakes her hands through my hair to straighten it.
“Gloria! How are you?” I say to the waitress. I want to make sure the summer’s encounters with the wolf haven’t gotten to her. She’s busy cleaning the tables.
“I’m good, thanks,” Gloria replies. “Ever since the night I called you, the boss has been worried about me and his cash reg-ister. He put in an extra security system. Makes me feel much safer.”
“I’m glad,” I say. “You can bring us the usual.” Sarah and I sit at the same table Evelyn and I sat at on our first date. The thought doesn’t occur to me until I look out the window and re-member Evelyn staring at Lake Forest. Gloria brings two coffee cakes and two traditional caramel coffees. Music is a soft guitar. The room is warmer than outside. Heat must be turned on. Sarah eats her coffee cake slowly, slicing her fork into it and pick-ing up each small piece one at a time. Sipping my coffee, a nice warm feeling goes down my throat in this cold early evening air.
“So, how are you doing, Michael?” Sarah asks. “I’m fine.”
“I mean without…Evelyn?” Sarah’s tone pinches when she says her name. “She’s been away for two months now.”
“I’m…I’m fine, really. She’ll come back. She’s really busy, but she’s coming back.” I’m not sure if I’m trying to convince Sarah or myself.
Sarah stands up to walk the shelf of books. She randomly pulls out the one marked “Folklore of Green Mountain Falls, Colorado” and sits back down with me at the table, opening the book. Pulling it toward me, I turn to the page I read with Evelyn and see the delicate fragile elfin with elongated ears, sitting on a rock with her hair wrapped around her heart-shaped face. Al-mond shaped eyes stare into the distance as if the distance, the forest, can save her.
“Evelyn,” I whisper aloud as Sarah glances at me and I turn to the page with folklore poetry and read over the words.
The fragile elfin
Born of the sun, of the moon.
Stardust dancing under their lights
Mingling together,
Formed a rare beauty of light.
She sits waiting for her bloom.
Half of her pulling toward her human self,
The other half pulling toward her elfin kind.
She was born in unity of both sun and moon,
Of both man and angel,
She will bring unity
To two separate worlds.
Just as the fragile elfin
Is a mix of selves,
The elf kind must mix
Its selves with the kind
They distrust, and lay down pride.
A human kind will form a bond
Between elf and human; human and elf.
When the worlds collide and
Shattering ensues, an end is near,
The Halfling of sun and moon – hearts led,
This human man – blood bled.
Blood shedding will yield
A new time to begin.
The words never dawned on me before, words speaking to Evelyn’s nature. A flood of realization fills my mind. Evelyn is the Halfling. Half human and half elfin. This is why her skin color is not pale. Why she’s drawn to me and my kind — she’s half my kind.
A new hope fills me, bound to her — human to human. My head fills with questions, but I have to put them in the back of my mind, because she’s not here to ask.
“Maybe we should get home?” Sarah says. I notice her coffee and cake are finished. Deep in thought without conversing for some time, my cake is untouched.
“Alright,” I say.
After driving her home, I fall to my bed with a strange smile on my face, a smile of contentment. Somehow, though Evelyn is miles away from me, knowing her heart beats like my own heart beats, I’m at peace.
Holding Evelyn in the green forest with all my strength, I don’t want anything to tear us apart again. We hear growls and screams in the distance. Fire spreads through the forest. We run ahead. Eve holds her fierce silver sword up against the snarling and clawing of the wolves. Nile jumps in front of Evelyn and forces two wolves away from them.
Evelyn runs up to pull me back. A strange creature, an elf, dark green, with sinister eyes and gray hair pulled back into braids, gallops up on his black horse. He pulls out his black sword and thrusts it into Evelyn’s stomach. Nile jumps in be-tween Evelyn and this sinister creature, and a black sword is thrust into Nile. Nile falls back onto the ground. I run to Evelyn and she falls into my arms...
Awaken, with sweat pouring off my face, my sheets wrap up into twisted knots.
“Evelyn, Evelyn!”
Sarah
I’ve been spending more time with Sarah lately. We’re meeting today at the local cafe. There’s a comfort being with her in the absence of Evelyn. Sarah doesn’t ask many questions and laughs a lot. Part of me feels like I’m betraying Evelyn, but the better part knows Sarah’s just a friend and will never replace Evelyn. I listen to my better part. We enjoy the music at the café and our coffee cakes. Sarah has become addicted to their traditional coffee and won’t go a day without having her fix. I’ve be-come addicted to Sarah’s company.
Gloria doesn’t spend as much time flirting with me anymore, since she sees me with Sarah. I tell myself this is one more good reason to hang out with her. She’s simple, uncomplicated. She’s who she appears to be and she’s here. Breaks my heart to admit that, but the truth is that I need this calm. Sarah is a sturdy an-chor to my storm. Sipping my coffee, she giggles as she sips.
“What’s so funny?” I ask.
“Nothing, you just have a smudge of milk above your lip.” Sarah moves her fingers over my upper lip, wiping the milk off.
I blush, enjoying her touch and lower my head a little, ashamed, and glance to the forest, knowing if Evelyn was peer-ing inside the window at me with Sarah, she’d be jealous. Stand-ing up abruptly, I feel I’ve betrayed her.
“We should go now,” I say. “We only just got here.”
“I know, but I…I just don’t feel comfortable sitting here.”
We amble to my car and I drive her to my house. Talking to Sarah with my parents present somehow seems less wrong. They’re witnesses to my discourse and interactions. They’ll keep me honest. We sit on the sofa in the living room. Mom rocks in her favorite chair.
“Sarah, it’s nice to see you. How are you?” Mom asks. “I’m good. Thank you, Sue.”
Sarah and Mom are on a first name basis since Evelyn’s de-parture. Mom is hoping I’ll let go of Evelyn and become serious with Sarah, and Mom keeps the conversation going for twenty minutes until I pull Sarah into my room upstairs.
“I have to confide in someone, Sarah,” I say. “What is it?”
“I have to tell someone what’s going on in my head.” “Ok, Michael. Tell me.”
“I keep dreaming of Evelyn,” I look away from Sarah, “dream-ing she’s in trouble, and that she needs me to protect her.”
“But she’s gone,” Sarah declares. “You can’t be sure she’s com-ing back. She could stay at her college for the entire year without returning. Besides, I thought Nile and Eve moved away, too.
She has her family there.” She emphasizes this fact. “Even if she did leave college, she wouldn’t have a home to come back to here.”
“I can’t leave her. She’s my heart!” I look intensely at Sarah. “I have to find a way to get to her.”
“I don’t know, Michael. I don’t know what you want me to do or how I can even help you find her.” Sarah sounds resigned.
“Never mind the details. Just tell me you’ll help and I’ll take care of the rest.”
“Alright…” she stammers, “but don’t expect too much from me.”
I give her a hug that last moments too long, because I long for comfort. Her arms are there. Evelyn is not. Sarah brushes her lips against my cheeks and I feel her breath on my skin. She wants me, but I want...Evelyn.
All this time I’ve been wishing Evelyn would return to me, while feeling I needed to keep my promise to stay away from her world. But I don’t have to do that anymore. I know what my dreams are telling me. They’re warning me about Evelyn. I have to break my promise and get through Rein and the gate. But finding a way to protect Evelyn won’t be easy. No one in her world is going to help me. Venda and her family are gone. Evelyn is gone. The only boundary between Evelyn and me is Rein — one elf. It can be done. It has to be done.
“Maybe we could meet up tomorrow and talk?” I ask. “Sure, where do you want to meet?”
“The theatre across the street from Lake Forest. You know the one?” I have a plan forming already. A plan that can work.
“Of course. What time?” Sarah asks. “About noon.”
“Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I wait outside the theatre for Sarah to show up. She’s late. Pacing in front of the theatre, I wonder how I should word this, how much I need to tell her. Looking at my watch, I see 12:20. Twenty minutes late. She could still be coming. I give her till 1:00 and then Sarah pulls in with her Jeep.
“Sorry I’m late. Mom had some chores for me to finish before leaving the house.” She glances around, confused. “So, what are we doing here?”
“I have a favor to ask of you. I need you to walk with me and let me show you something.”
“Ooookayy...” she says. I walk ahead and cross the street into Lake Forest. “What are we doing?” She becomes impatient.
“Just trust me. Pay attention to where we’re going. See this path.” I point. Foliage on the ground has grown back from the times Evelyn and I walked through the forest. “A clear path is laid out leading to an orange blossom tree.” I walk it with Sarah until we’re a few yards away from Rein. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“Sure, Michael.”
“See that girl by the orange tree?” “Yes.”
“She is a relative of Evelyn’s.”
The name Evelyn causes Sarah to wince. Sarah moves in close, listening intently. “I need you to remember this spot, this path. I need you to be able to walk it on your own without my help. Do you think you could do that sometime?”
“Sure, follow the broken foliage on the worn ground. I think I can manage,” she says with sarcasm. “But why? What’s this about?”
“I’ll tell you later. But right now I need you to listen carefully. It’s vital you stay behind this tree, a few yards away from Rein. It’s important you stay quiet.”
“Why?” she whispers.
“You just have to. Trust me. Do you trust me?” She raises her head. “Yes.”
“Ok, let’s head back. I want you to lead me out of here,” I say. Sarah moves in front, to follow the matted foliage out of Lake Forest to the street and then crosses to her jeep.
“Good. You can do it,” I observe.
“You know you’re acting very strange, Michael.” Sarah wears a quizzical look on her face.
“I know and I’m sorry I can’t tell you more right now. Perhaps I can someday.”
“You said you wanted to talk. Do you still?”
“Yes,” I take her shoulder, “soon. I’m going to need you to lead Robby and Lee over the path to the spot with the orange blos-som tree.”
“But why? I want to help, but I have to know what’s going on here.”
“It’s like a game. I’m going to get a message to Evelyn and, in order to do it, I have to go through her relative Rein.”
“For Evelyn?” Sarah’s eagerness turns sour. “For me.”
“Why is she standing in the forest by herself?” Sarah sounds snobbish.
“I can’t tell you everything. You said you’d help me,” I remind her.
“I know, but…” Sarah gazes at me, hesitates and then decides to help, “ok, ok.”
“Thank you. I really appreciate it.”
Sarah smiles and her hardened lips lighten, despite herself. “I’m only helping you because you’ve been a good friend to me this year and I owe you.”
Robby and I wrote “Friends Forever” on our sneakers when we were twelve. We wrote that phrase with a black marker after I stood up for him in a fight in middle school. We’ve been close friends ever since. Because of those words binding us, I know I can rely on him when I need him most. I need him now.
Sarah already followed me into the forest and told me she would help. I hope Robby will prove as successful, and call him and Lee to ask them to meet me outside the movie theatre where I met Sarah last week. We are in the middle of the month and I have to get my plan going if I’m ever going to see Evelyn again. They were busy all week and I had to wait. When I pull up to the theater, they’re already there.
“What is it, Michael? What’s so important?” Robby asks. “I need your help,” I say.
Robby’s face is serious and he knows he owes me from not only middle school, but for high school, too. Because of me, he got on the soccer team and had a social life outside of books. I’mmnot worried about Lee helping me either. Lee’s a part of our soc-cer team and more importantly he’s a team player. I know he’ll help because it means being loyal to his team.
“What do you need, Michael?” Robby asks.
“I need you and Lee to listen carefully.” The two of them draw their heads in and their ears perk up as if this mysterious meeting has gotten more intriguing. “I need the two of you to play a game for me. A game on one of Evelyn’s friends.”
“Yeah?” Lee asks with a clever smirk on his face.
“It’s a game a lot like soccer,” I explain. “Her friend will wait in the forest by a big orange blossom tree.”
“A blossom tree in the forest?” Robby retorts in question. An odd tree in the forest, but then again, everything about Evelyn’s world is odd.
“Yeah, and I need the two of you to run past her on opposite sides and make her chase you. Think of the orange blossom tree as the goal and her friend as the goalie protecting it,” I explain. “I have to score a point, but in order to get the ball into the goal, the goalie has to be off guard.”
“I get it,” Robby says with confidence. “But why?” His left brow stiffens.
“It’s for Evelyn.”
“You’d do anything for her.” Robby’s tone fills with sympathy for my pain instead of rivalry.
I stare at him with my hands over his shoulders and speak my words slowly, like a poet declaring his passion for his true love. “I have to get this message to her.” I take a breath. “Will you help me?”
“How do we get there?” Robby asks.
“I know the two of you aren’t very comfortable hiking, so Sarah is going to lead you in and out of the forest,” I explain.
“When?” Lee asks, confused by the request.
“Soon .I’ll let you know. You’ll meet up with Sarah here and follow her to the orange blossom tree. Evelyn’s friend will be
there and then you do your thing. Don’t stop for her. Keep run-ning and lead her away from the tree. You have to separate and make it difficult for her. She might look like she’s weak, but she’s really strong and fast.”
“Sounds fun.” Robby laughs. “You always come up with the wildest ideas, Michael.”
“Thank you. This means more than you know. Don’t forget, once you distract her, leave the forest quickly.”
“Whatever I can do to help you out. You know I owe you,” Robby says. Lee nods in agreement, wanting to help the team, wanting to be a part of our friendship. “What about you? Where will you be?”
“I’ll be there, hiding. As soon as I see the two of you lead her away, I’ll race for the goal.”
“I’ll keep my eyes out for you,” Lee says.
Just like that, it’s set. My friends are in on the game and I’ll be with Evelyn shortly. Anticipation fills my insides like soda water bubbling up and over the rim of a glass. This moment in front of the movie theatre reminds me of clandestine mobs scheduling their kills. Uncharacteristic of me and of them to drive out to a location to discuss a seemingly small detail of my life. Mysteri-ous.
The whole meeting is a lie, one interwoven story I contrive to execute a plan that, if performed properly, could actually suc-ceed. A plan that wouldn’t have occurred to me if not for my ex-periences with the shadow hunters in summer, being used as bait to catch a wolf. The idea of distraction may be foremost in the mind of a magician, but usually not for me.
Robby meets me for a movie the next night. The movie is a comedy with a bit of action. Robby falls over laughing in his seat and I envy his pure take on life. Untouched by darkness, he’s never known the struggles I’ve had to face daily for fear of losing my life at the hands of the shadow wolves. He’s never known the pain I’ve had of losing my love. I envy him indeed as he sits in his chair, laughing like he has no cares in the world and, for a mo-ment, I wonder how life might be now if I’d never met Evelyn.
Sarah meets us outside the theater, walking with us to the café. Robby told her we were going and she decided to join. There’s no convincing her it’s a boys’ night out. She’ll only state gender discrimination. We can’t argue with her political logic. Though, I have a suspicion the real reason has less to do with feminist rights and more to do with me. But I owe her. She’s do-ing a favor for me.
We sit on a sofa in the café. Gloria brings us our coffees, no cakes. Lights are dim in the evening. Music is set to guitar strings and soft sounds. The café is crowded with busy, talking, laughing people and one customer is even attempting to sing. The crowd laughs as the poor guy humiliates himself with tone deaf karaoke, while trying to impress his entranced girlfriend. To her, the sounds must seem like Mozart. To the rest of us, like fingernails on a blackboard.
Another victim of public embarrassment makes her way to the front and takes the microphone. We all brace ourselves for more personal embarrassment. But when she opens her lips, from a mouth hidden behind long hair and a strong disposition, our laughter fades. She is brilliant. Not a song, but a poem and sounds like something I could have read to Evelyn out of a book from my English class. Full of unrequited love, anguish and tor-ment, loneliness and unmet dreams. Deep and original in style and imagery. The crowd stands up after she finishes, and claps. The only ovation the entire night.
Heartbeats
Thump-thump, thump-thump. This is the sound that occu-pies my dreams. Sounds like a soft drum beating or a quiet vibra-tion passing over my ears. Pounding quickens and then fades into nothingness. I awaken with sweat pouring down my face, leaving me motionless, in fear and helpless. Sarah’s coming over today. She planned to last night. I told her I wanted some time alone to think, but she insisted.
Sarah’s early and already downstairs, talking with Mom.
“Oh, don’t give me that look, Michael. I can make up more eggs for you now.” Mom plods to the kitchen adjacent the dining room and talks while shuffling herself around the stove. “Have you thought anymore about university, Michael?”
“Yes, Mom. I’ll go. I just want some time to myself to think.”
Since I graduated high school, all she can think of is sending me to university. But I wait on penetrating the gate, on seeing Evelyn again, and then I know my life will come back into focus.
“Sarah, will you be staying long today?” Mom asks. “If you stay for dinner, I’m making a delicious steak with red potatoes.” Food is Mom’s answer to everything. Her face widens with excitement at the thought of a possible daughter-in-law.
After breakfast, I usher Sarah to my room. I’m not sure I feel comfortable alone with her here, but I can’t talk about my plans with Mom. Mom has no idea that Evelyn is so close, just inside Lake Forest, or that there is a “relative” of hers in the forest.
Mom still believes, like Dad, that Evelyn is at a university, attending her first semester.
Sarah sits close to me on my bed and I try to push distance between us a couple times, to no avail. She somehow manages with the slightest of ease to fill the space I deliberately form and to come in closer than my comfort allows. Her heart pounds and I remember my dreams. Occurring to me is that the thumping sound is a heartbeat fading from life. My dream is speaking to me, warning me about Evelyn.
“Are you ready to help me?” I ask, with Sarah’s breath on me.
Sarah lowers her head and glances up at me. “I want to be with you, Michael. Evelyn isn’t here for you. Let me be your girl-friend. We could be good together.”
“Sarah, I care about you.” My lips brush over her shoulder, and then I pull from her. “But I love Evelyn. I have always loved Evelyn.” Sarah turns away with a sad face. Her body moves from closeness to a place where there is space between us. I clutch her hands.
“I’m sorry.”
“Ok.” She wipes a tear from her face. “I understand. I know how you feel about her. It’s just so unfair.”
“There’s someone for you out there. You’ll find him and it’ll be wonderful for you. I’m just not that person.”
She wipes another tear and then places her head on my shoulder. “Thanks for being a friend, Michael.”
“I’ll always be your friend.” Smiling, I soothe her tears. I touch her shoulder with my palm. “Will you help me?” There is silence. “Will you help me get Evelyn back?”
“Yes,” she speaks softly. “Yes.”
Without thinking, I give her a kiss on her pinkish cheek to show my gratitude. Lingering for a few moments too long, I pull away, realizing I shouldn’t have kissed her. Sarah blushes, stands up and darts to the door.
“Just let me know when you need me.” “Thank you so much,” I say sincerely.
Sarah smiles and heads downstairs. I lie on my bed with my eyes to the ceiling, wondering where all my anticipation will lead. I only hope I’m not too late.
“Michael,” Mom calls and I run downstairs to see her. “Where is Sarah going? I thought she would be staying longer? Is she coming back for dinner?”
“I don’t think so, Mom,” I say with a tone that is sympathetic to Mom’s pleas. “But she’ll be back.” I know she will, because the look she has in her eyes for me is the look I have for Evelyn.
But now, I need to study Rein and the gate. Rein is only do-ing what she’s told by the elder council, but I’m angry with her all the same. She has made a choice and chooses to turn her back on me, because I’m not her kind, because I’m the human. The hu-man in the stories she grew up not trusting, the human she’s sworn to keep out of her world.
She will not look beyond her elfin eyes and ears and will not listen to her heart. She only sees an adversary. I wish she could see more, to put it all aside and see who I really am.
I make my way to the forest, knowing I have to get everything right. If I make a mistake, Rein will catch me and I may never have another chance to join Evelyn. Stepping softly, I follow every direction Wind has taught me. My clothes match the vi-brant variations of greens and browns of the forest. Blending in with the bark, the foliage, the sky, is vital to survival. I cannot be seen or heard.
The last part will be the most difficult for me, because elves have a keen sense of hearing. I learned just how keen in my inter-actions with Evelyn. She could always sense when I approached, and I could never sneak up on her and surprise her from behind like I enjoyed doing to my friends. I may be quiet to the human world, but in her world, I am a large animal rustling in the bushes.
Wind taught me how to quiet myself. He taught me what I otherwise would not have known. The heel of the human hitting the floor is the easiest way for the wolf to detect a human com-ing. Likewise, the elf also hears the heel hitting the floor. Wind taught me to run on my toes, using the lightest parts of me to keep the sound upon the ground at a minimum. Falling is not an option.
Wind taught me to use my fingers to balance myself. My fin-gers can catch a fall and keep the sound from permeating around me. Wind also showed me how to avoid the leaves and twigs, because, to the wolf or an elf, the crunching gives gave us away immediately.
The soft soil allows a quiet padding against the ground. This will be to my advantage. My strategy. I’ll stay on the soil and watch my step and keep on my toes, using my fingers to balance myself in case I fall. Rein will not notice me. I must make it through the gate. There just isn’t another option.
Still
In the fourth week of the month, I stand under the canopy of green foliage without as much as a rapid heart rate or an audible breath, so that Rein doesn’t hear me coming. Crouching on the ground like Wind taught me ages ago, I crawl over the broken twigs and leaves, placing my toes delicately on the moist soil.
I see the spot that will be my hiding, my mark, a short, full bush with yellow-orange leaves. A few yards from the invisible gate, I can sit without being seen. The hardest part will be to avoid being heard. Her ears are elfin, not only elongated, but also keen and sensitive to sounds. If I make a sound, she’ll hear me. I have to sneak around her while my three friends help hide the sound of my movements. She’ll be focusing on my friends, giving me the opportunity I need.
In a couple of days, I’ll be entering the forest, leaving me both excited and scared. I’ve told my parents I will be college hunting out of state and to not worry about me...that in order to hit all the universities I want, I will be gone months. Between interviews, sight-seeing, and touring the various campuses, I told them I will be real busy and may not call that often. Mom did not approve at first, but after speaking with Dad, they both saw this was better than moping around the house with no future in mind.
I don’t want to go into the darkness alone, but I must. Fear pours inside of me like a bad wine, but I have to, because Evelyn is fighting without me. When I get inside, I have to run directly to the green forest, the closest one to the gate, which will provide cover from the black dragon and wolves. From there, I’ll call to her and she’ll hear me. All will be fine. I calm myself with my in-ternal words, comforting myself with the knowledge that I’ll see her soon.
The stillness of the forest air leaves me with little room for error. I crawl like a soldier in war, away from Rein who sits ever-vigilant and guarding. Scraping against the bush, I hide and watch the path my friends will enter to distract her. My friends will do the most important thing for me in my life and they don’t even know, or how real all of this is. To them, this is only a game. I wish I could tell them more, that they could be a part of this and I didn’t have to walk alone. But I know they’re safer without the truth, without the fear of what her world might bring to our own. Has to be this way.