When You Need a Friend
A College League Story
By Christen Anne Kelley
With Bonus Story
Answers on the Run
When You Need a Friend Copyright © 2012 Christen Anne Kelley
Answers on the Run Copyright © 2012 Christen Anne Kelley
Published by Blue Cedar Publishing.
Cover Illustration by Tatjana Strelkova/Dreamstime
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Table of Contents
Bonus Story: Answers on the Run
In most cases when I hear the words, "I'm pregnant," it usually wasn't the time for celebratory hugs, good cheers, and all that. In most cases, I provided the tissue, hugs, and sympathetic, understanding looks while my teammates dissolved into hysterics as they faced a future with two choices.
But Madison had always been different.
As she sat across from me in the cafeteria at Mount Forest College, her face beaming, glowing with that 'I'm pregnant look' (at least, I assume that's what it was), I had to remember to breathe.
And close my gaping mouth.
"You're...you're what?"
"Pregnant!"
She said this loud enough where the few other cafeteria goers - the late lunch crowd - looked up from their french fries, ice cream cones, and waffles with blueberry topping. See? Even to them those two words equaled bad times.
Not Madison, though.
She didn't even notice the looks, or my complete and utter shock.
"And you're happy about it?" I asked.
Okay, not the most tactful thing I could have said considering Madison looked like she'd just won the lottery, but cut me some slack. As I said, on the softball team this situation was generally not good.
Definitely not a happy one, at least not to Madison's extreme.
What I wanted to do was reach across the table, grab my best friend of four years (who I jokingly called my 'twin') and knock some sense into her. But when it came to stubbornness, even Madison had me beat.
Madison's smile dimmed, as if slipping to a lower, energy saving wattage. I think it was the first moment she realized (or got the hint) that I wasn't happy for her.
A college pregnancy, especially while you played on the college softball team (scholarship, anyone?), wasn't a good thing.
Not in her case, or heck, in any of our cases.
As I said, Madison's got two choices. One means the end of her softball career and no more scholarship and the other...well, the other was just as hard, emotionally wise.
Heck, they both were.
This was why Madison's smile threw me for the biggest loop and my usual, tactful and amazingly rational self was behind the uptake. And why I continued to blunder about this important conversation.
"So, you are happy, right?"
Madison nodded, a little unsure this time seeing as how I wasn't jumping for joy and giving her a hug. At barely twenty you'd think she'd understand the why by now. After all, Madison wasn't the first girl on the team to end up pregnant.
I gotta say, when it comes to the pregnancy issue the lesbians on our team had one up from the rest of us. And yes, they're a few but they 'know' who's on their side. They leave the rest of us alone and we let them do their thing.
No problems. No pregnancies for them either. Lucky bastards.
"And is John happy?" God, I hoped John was the father or this was going to get screwed up even faster than it already was.
"He is. He's already talking about baby names."
"Oh, good." Good? My stomach twisted and cramped like I was the one with the morning sickness issues. "So, you've decided then?"
"On the names?" Madison shook her head, her long pony tail slapping her in the cheek. "Gosh, no. We haven't even started."
"That, that wasn't what I meant." I looked away. I didn't want to see that dawning realization, the horror as it crept into Madison's sunny smile at what I was suggesting.
Her gasp pretty much covered it though.
"Samantha!"
I cringed, hearing my full name. To everyone on the team, I was Sam. When I was in trouble (even with my parents), I was Samantha.
"I'm sorry, really, I am. I just had to ask. Most girls aren't..." my voice trailed off. Pleased that they were pregnant? Happy to throw away their lives at the ripe old age of 20?
Just the thought made me want to throw up.
And Madison...she was only a year younger than me. I couldn't even imagine being pregnant.
I swallowed to keep the bile down. The very thought of being pregnant, having a baby (and keeping it), terrified me beyond belief. It was like I was frozen, unable to move, barely able to breathe. I couldn't even comprehend the fear - that's how bad it was.
Not Madison. Fear, at least in this, had no hold on her.
She slid out of her chair, towering above me. She still wore her clothes from practice, had quite a few dust and dirt smudges on her once white shorts.
"You know I've always wanted a family."
"Yeah, but so do I. That still doesn't mean I was planning on starting one any time soon!" What did I tell you about the me blundering about this pregnancy thing?
I blame it on the shock.
That's right. This was complete and utter shock.
"This is my chance to start a family, to be a mother."
Madison was young, but not only an up-and-coming catcher, but a damn fine hitter. A player who was going to walk away from her career, her dreams, everything...for a baby.
"But Madison," I tried, already feeling I was losing this conversation.
It was like trying to catch will-o-wisps with my bare hands. The damn things just kept slipping through. "What about your future? You wanted to be a teacher, remember?"
Madison's eyes narrowed. "I can always be a teacher."
I managed to stick a boot down my throat and not say something insensitive like, "You can always be a mother too."
That wouldn't have gone over well. But I couldn't help it. She was, well she was like my twin, a sister. We'd played together for years and to see her suddenly turn away from everything, from her dreams...
I didn't get it.
And Madison didn't get me and my reaction.
She didn't say anything. Just picked up her purse, grabbed her untouched salad with the barest sprinkle of dressing (Madison, in all the years I've known her, has never eaten a salad), and left me sitting there.
Now, I wasn't the one who was pregnant but boy, from the looks I was getting from the other handful of students who'd overheard the conversation, you'd think I was.
I turned in my chair and glared. I recognized the youthful faces, the kind of shock only a first year freshman could have. Just freakin' great.
I grabbed my tray, tossed my own untouched burger into the trash, and jogged after Madison.
She hadn't gone far. I think she knew I'd come after her. Or maybe she'd hoped I would so she could lay into me.
With her Christian upbringing, Madison was very good at not airing her displeasure in front of just anyone. She calmly waited until we were alone, then let it rip.
Like now.
She waited for the glass cafeteria doors to shut behind me, then she spun, finger out as she pointed it at my chest like a gun. "I can't, can't believe you!"
I backed up a step, hands raised until I smacked into the door. Maybe running after her wasn't such a good plan. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry? You're not sorry. Even now you're not sorry." She poked me in the chest. Hard. "How can you even think that? That I'd get an abortion?"
I'd also been thinking adoption, but heck, I wasn't dumb enough to correct her when she was in one of these moods.
Her face reddened even more. She shoved her finger into my chest bone again. "I am keeping this child and I'm happy about it. Just like you should be. Happy for me."
"Happy? Happy for you?"
Now, I'm still in super-shocked mode here. When Madison asked me to lunch, a lot more nervous than usual, I hadn't thought anything of it. The last thing I'd thought was her to 1. Be pregnant, 2. Be happy about it, nor 3. Throw away her life to keep a baby.
Nope. That was the very last thing I'd expected. But the fact that she automatically expected me to be just as thrilled as she was? So not going to happen.
"You want me to be happy for you?"
"Yes, yes I do."
"Well, I'm sorry. I can't do that. Don't you think that's a little unreasonable? For me to sit back and watch my best friend throw her life away?"
"It's not my throwing my life away. I'm having a baby. I'm starting a new life."