7am SAUNA
by
T.S. Landry
SMASHWORDS EDITION: JANUARY 2012
Copyright © 2011 by Teresa S. Landry
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. All rights reserved. No part of this publication can be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without written permission of the author.
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CONTENTS
Your friendship adds color to my life
The conversations of six women, otherwise unconnected, who use the same gym and share a sauna after their early morning workouts.
1. Monday, April 12
“Can you believe he told me I fart in my sleep?” Indignation vibrated on the sharp edge of Morena’s voice. “I mean that’s something you might mention after twenty years of marriage, not after two weeks of hot sex.”
Leanne snorted and slapped her thigh, the skin on skin crack echoing in the small room.
Janice covered her mouth and discreetly cleared her throat.
“Men are tactless balls of slime,” declared Red.
“Exactly!” Morena shifted her weight on her towel and leaned back against the wall, her posture both contrasting and emphasizing her words. “It was the first time we spent the whole night together, and he drops that bombshell across the kitchen counter while I’m making coffee.”
“I hope you didn’t make him breakfast,” said Cris.
Leanne snorted.
Morena’s lip twitched. “I thought about making him a tobasco omelet, but I tossed him a loaf of bread and pointed to the toaster, instead.”
“You’re too kind,” Cris said.
“Easy for you to say. You’ve got a good man.” Morena scooted to the edge of the bench. “What do you think, Mel? You haven’t said a word.”
Melvina lifted her hand to push a damp strand of hair back into an elegant gray bun. She hesitated. “Times have changed. In forty-five years of marriage, my husband and I have largely avoided all talk of bodily functions.”
Leanne erupted in one last snort before she found her voice. “Ya’ll crack me up.”
“Well, what would you do in my place?”
“Johnny’s been in the delivery room with me four times, and the last one left me with a slew of stitches and a bad case of ‘roids. There’s not a bodily function we haven’t shared up close and personal.”
Morena slumped back against the wall.
Janice smiled and closed her eyes. “I’m going to miss all of you next week.”
Red perked up. “Something wrong?”
“No, it’s spring break and my daughter will be home. I doubt I’ll make it to the gym at all.”
“You’re not going to go soft on us, are you?” asked Leanne. “A whole week without a workout and you might look like me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with your body. And I’ll still be working out. I just won’t have the benefits of this wonderful sauna. My daughter’s a runner. She tones her daily jog down to a slow two miles when she’s home, so I can keep up.”
Cris raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow. “Awfully considerate, but I like to confine my sweating to non-public areas.”
“Does that include the bedroom?” Red wanted to know.
“It’s not public – to the best of my knowledge.”
2. Wednesday, April 13
Red placed her hands on the edge of the bench and rocked forward. “I should be happy today, but I’m not.”
“Okay, I’ll bite. Why should you be happy?” asked Morena.
“I have a job interview this afternoon in New York with Brandt Consulting. Good company, good starting salary. It’s even doing what I studied in college.”
“That sounds wonderful,” said Mel. “I wish you luck.”
“It would be wonderful if I actually liked what I studied in college, but I have a business degree with an emphasis on corporate accounting. It’s about as dull as it gets. I was just going after the piece of paper, you know?”
“You’re making me feel bad,” said Janice. “I work with those corporate accountants all the time.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I’m a financial consultant. Big corporations, a lot of number crunchers.”
“I knew you had an MBA, but I didn’t know what you did with it,” said Cris.
“I’m still confused,” said Leanne. “What do you do with your MBA?”
Jan smiled. “The company I work for does just about anything that has to do with money – investing, earning, auditing, advising, whatever. But my department gets called when a company wants to cut expenses and blame a third party. I, or a team of us, go in, evaluate spending, waste and duplication, and map out a plan to cut costs.”
“And you paid for two extra years of school to be a hatchet-man?”
Jan nodded to Leanne before closing her eyes and tilting her head back. “Hatchet-woman, and I love it. Not firing people, but the order and rightness of efficiency. It appeals to my Type A personality.”
“Well, it doesn’t appeal to mine,” said Red. “And you have an MBA. I just have a BA. Everybody and their brother has a BA in business. In this economy, we’re a dime-a-dozen. I don’t even know how I got the interview.”
“I still wish you luck,” said Melvina. “Just stay positive and you’ll make a good impression.”
“I haven’t even decided if I want to make a good impression. I’m just kinda going through the motions, you know? And if the interview runs late and I hit the rush hour commute, I may miss my rehearsal tonight.”
“What are you working on, now?” asked Morena.
“It’s a dark comedy by a nobody grad student at NYU, but it’s really pretty good. This is the first one of his works to be staged, and he keeps showing up at rehearsals looking like he’s going to pee his pants. I’ll put a flyer on the Community Board as soon as they’re ready.”
“You’ve gotta really love acting to put so many hours into that for free,” said Leanne.
“It’s a great way to meet people.” Red frowned and looked intently at the cement floor of the sauna. “Everybody has to have hobby.”
“I didn’t mean anything bad. It’s just that you wait tables graveyard, spend evenings doing community theater, mornings here, and job hunt in between. When do you sleep?”
Red shrugged. “I sleep.”
Silence filled the small room or almost a full minute.
“So, Morena,” said Cris, “how is Mr. Tactful?”
“Don’t ask. He had some work thing going on last night, so we just met for drinks afterward. He knows I’m not happy, but he has no clue why, and I can’t bring myself to tell him. It wasn’t just that one comment; it’s a whole lot of little put-down type comments. You know, not necessarily insults, but not nice, either. I think his days are numbered.”
“You deserve better,” Mel said quietly.
“Yeah, I do, but I feel so empty when I don’t have a man in my life. I keep settling for losers.”
“You don’t keep them long, though,” said Red. “You know when to cut your losses. Me, I’m afraid that if I found one who showed enough interest, I would hold on to him no matter how bad he treated me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
Jan carefully surveyed Red. “There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, and you are much too young to settle for someone who doesn’t treat you like a queen.”
“Is that what you’re waiting for, Jan? You never talk about dating.”
“I don’t know what I’m waiting for. I just haven’t felt like dating. I was so angry with Jordan when he walked out on me, I guess I blamed all men for a while. And he calls me just often enough to keep me mad at men. When we split up, I went out just for spite – even slept around some – but it wasn’t me. My daughter became my whole life. She still is, she just doesn’t know it anymore because she’s away at school.”
“Give me your number. The next time I go out with the girls, instead of a guy, you should come with us. Getting out would do you good.”
“Thanks, Morena, but I would feel funny.”
“You?” Red almost choked. “You’re so confident and – I don’t know – put together. I can’t imagine you being awkward.”
“But you wouldn’t look awkward, would you, Jan?” Cris eyed her shrewdly. “You would only feel awkward, and nobody but you would know.”
Janice smiled, but remained silent.
“It must be nice to be able to hide your feelings,” said Leanne.
“I suppose it’s no longer considered good etiquette to keep your emotions private?” Mel almost whispered.
“Oh, Lordy, my mama did try to teach me all those old rules.” Leanne rolled her eyes. “It didn’t take.”
“I bet you were a wild one when you were younger,” said Morena.
“I had my moments, but my sister was the real piece of work. She tried everything, usually twice. After her, Mama knew most of the tricks, so I couldn’t get away with nearly as much. Papa, bless him, just didn’t know what to do with girls.”
“We should all get together sometime outside the gym,” said Morena. “Especially you, Mel. You don’t go out either, do you?”
“I really can’t get out much with my husband the way he is. I’m lucky the nurse who takes the morning shift is so reliable, or I wouldn’t be able to come here. I might go crazy without all of you.”
“Aw, Mel,” started Red, “I know you’re not used to showing emotions, but you can let them out here.”
“Ain’t that the truth. A bunch of girls sitting around mostly naked in pools of sweat. You could even cry and blame it on the sauna.”
“You have such a way with words, Leanne,” said Jan. “But, seriously, Mel, if you need a shoulder or want to go out, even just for lunch or coffee, one of us should be available. I mean, we’ve all got different schedules. You shouldn’t have to be by yourself all the time.”
They all agreed.
“Do you have any other friends who help?”
Cris aimed a nasty look at Red. Mel was looking down at her hands.
“Not really, no. We always socialized with Alfred’s friends from the university and his research group. Since he stopped working, it’s like we don’t even exist. They were Alfred’s friends, not mine. They discuss cutting edge science and develop new lab experiments. They don’t want to spend time with an Alzheimer’s patient and an old woman who doesn’t even have an undergraduate degree. It wasn’t so bad at first; it was just his memory and not too bad. Some of his closer friends stopped by occasionally. Then, he had a stroke about a year after he retired, and things have been getting worse ever since. I don’t remember the last time one of his colleagues came to visit.”
“And people think I’m superficial,” muttered Cris.
“Well,” said Morena with a smile, “you look it. You could have been the model for a dark-haired Barbie doll, and I’ve never seen you without makeup.”
“Taking care of my assets doesn’t mean I’m superficial.” Cris’ voice was unusually defensive. “But that’s beside the point. Mel, you can’t spend all your time cooped up in a house with someone who’s losing his mind. I know you love him, and you’re obviously there for him, but it’s just not healthy. When was the last time you did something just for fun?”
“I come here.”
“Enough,” said Jan. “Mel, we’re here for you if you ever do want to get out a little more. And, Red, you’re going to do just fine at your interview. Think positive.”
3. Thursday, April 14
Jan leaned back against the wall and let out an exaggerated sigh. “I always feel better after a workout, even if I am tired and sore.”
“I’m happy with just not feeling bad, and I don’t work out nearly as hard as you.” Leanne opened one eye and squinted at Janice. “This is more like a social engagement that makes me feel better about eating desert.”
“Don’t forget all that good, fattening Italian food, too.”
“I-talian food doesn’t have a thing on southern-fried food, Morena. My mama can turn a vegetable into a thousand calorie side dish without batting an eyelash – and she can still bat her eyelashes as good as any southern belle. I don’t think there’s anything she won’t batter and drop in hot lard.”
Red made a sour face, “That sounds gross.”
“Nah, those were the good ol’ days when my metabolism matched my appetite. Now, I gain weight just thinking about it, and that’s the last thing I need. Besides, my family doesn’t appreciate good southern food.”
“You have a beautiful body, Leanne,” said Mel. “You should stop putting yourself down.”
Leanne laughed good-naturedly. “Easy for you to say. You probably still weigh the same thing you did when you got married.”
Very slowly, Mel’s gaze lifted, carefully assessing Leanne’s curvy legs, ample hips, numerous stretch marks, rounded middle and less-than-perky breasts. Finally, her eyes met Leanne’s. “You have the body of a mother, and I would have given anything for that privilege.” She shook her head and looked down. “But it never happened.”
A brief moment of silence followed. Jan’s forced a smile as she turned to Red. “So, how did the interview go?”
“Not well, but at least I know why I got the interview.”
“That sounds ominous.” Cris raised one eyebrow and looked at Red.
“There must have been fifty people there to interview for one position.”
“Ouch,” whispered Morena.
“Yeah. Ouch, all right. They just wanted to know who would do the most work for the least pay.”
“Unfortunately, that’s the way a lot of companies are. That’s the way they think they have to be,” said Jan.
“Well, don’t they?” asked Morena. “I mean, the bad economy and lack of jobs is headline news almost every day.”
“Actually, no. People are usually more productive if they can focus their abilities. It’s the multitasking and consolidating of jobs that I usually try to eliminate when I consult.”
“How is that possible?” asked Red.
“Well, when people are expected to multitask, it often works out that they get more things started and fewer things finished. The same goes for job consolidation. When a department has three people and it gets cut down to two, the two remaining people often duplicate the work that the third would have done, while doing all the tasks poorly.”
“Hmph.”
Jan laughed. “I know; it’s frustrating. Being eager to work is good, but trying to do everything is bad.”
“That last bit was easier to understand than the explanation,” said Mel.
Morena frowned thoughtfully. “I wonder if I could convince my boss that greeting people is not a good use of my skills?”
Mel laughed, all the previous tension forgotten. “Did you have another run-in with a rude client?”
“Of course. People who need legal help are not the happiest people in the world.”
“I don’t know,” said Cris. “The only times I’ve needed legal help was when I was getting divorced, and that made me happy.”
“Only you, Cris,” said Jan. “My divorce made me miserable.”
“That’s because you were too emotionally invested in the marriage.”
“Well, duh!” said Morena. “That’s the whole point, isn’t it?”
“It can be. I’m pretty emotionally invested now, but the first two were simply fun while they lasted.”
“I get emotionally invested in grocery shopping. I’m pathetic,” said Leanne. “I don’t know what I would do if Johnny left me. He and the kids are everything to me.”
Morena laughed. “How on earth did my rude client lead to talk of divorce?”
Red shifted on the bench and readjusted her towel. “Did this one hit on you, too?” she asked.
Morena smiled. “I think he was working his way around to it, but I sort of blasted him for his manners before he got the chance.”
“You did not!” Red’s mouth hung open.
“Yes, I did. Unfortunately, my boss was coming out of his office while I did it, so I couldn’t deny anything.”
“Ughh. Just don’t tell me that you’re going to be joining me in a search for a new job. It’s not much fun.”
“No, even my boss knew what an asshole this guy was. Of course, he had to act stern and upset until after the client left. Then he simply asked me to try to be nicer to the people who pay my salary no matter how bad-mannered they appear.”
“Well,” Red sought out the bright side, “at least you have a desk to protect you from the come-ons. I get my ass patted all the time when I waitress, but I’m not allowed to hit them, and if I make a big deal out of it, I don’t get tipped. You can probably guess by the way I am here that not speaking my mind totally sucks.”
Mel smiled.
Cris put her hand on Red’s shoulder and patted her like a child.
Leanne and Morena looked at Red, then at each other and burst into laughter.
4. Friday, April 15
The sauna was unusually quiet.
Leanne slumped against the wall with her brow furrowed in thought. Cris closed her eyes and tilted her head back. Jan’s foot bounced in a sure sign of anxiety, but she was silent. Tension rippled through the air.
Red broke the silence. “So, did everyone get their taxes done?” Everyone smiled at her.
“Did you do yours last night?” asked Janice.
“Well, yeah. Why wouldn’t I?”
Jan reverted to what everyone instantly recognized as a mother’s voice. “You do know that April 15th is the deadline, not the only day you can file, don’t you?”
Quiet smiles lit the room.
“Of, course, but everybody waits until the last minute,” Red looked around, “don’t they?”
“Johnny put the papers in front of me to sign a few weeks ago,” said Leanne.
“I did mine in March,” said Cris.
“Me, too,” said Morena.
“How about you, Mel?”
“Um, I think I sent it in in February.”
Everyone except Red laughed.
“Well, damn. I thought I was on the ball. You people are all too organized. At least you’re smiling, now, though. What’s up, anyway, if it’s not taxes?”
Leanne, Cris and Janice started to speak at the same time, only to stop.
“You first, Cris,” said Leanne. “If something is upsetting you, it’s gotta be bad. I swear, you act like you’re made of Teflon.”
“It’s not bad at all, just awkward. My step-daughter is coming to visit this afternoon.” She bit her bottom lip in an uncharacteristic show of anxiety. “I think she’s going to stick around for a week or so.”
“Is that so bad? I thought you got along with your husband’s kids.”
“I do. I just don’t know how I’m going to handle this visit.”
“You’re probably borrowing trouble,” said Mel. “Just be your charming self and I’m sure there won’t be any personality conflicts.”
“Oh, no. No personality conflicts. I really like her. It’s just that… I mean… Well, she’s pregnant!”
“That’s not a bad thing,” said Morena. “You are kinda young to be a grandmother, though, even a step-grandmother.”
Cris’s voice was suddenly deadpan. “I don’t want to be a grandmother. I want to be a mother.”
“Oh. Well.” Leanne, for once, didn’t know what to say.
“Have you talked to your husband about having kids?” asked Jan.
“God, no. I’m afraid to. His kids are grown and if we had kids now, he would be collecting Social Security before they got out of high school.”
“You haven’t…” Morena started, then stopped. “I mean, you’re still on birth control, aren’t you?”
“Of course. I wouldn’t do that to him. But I just don’t think I can fake being happy about having a pregnant step-daughter.”
“For your husband’s sake, I think you have to try,” said Mel.
“I know,” said Cris. “That’s my problem, and I’ll make the best of it. What’s your problem, Jan?”
“I don’t have one. I’m just pre-occupied thinking about my daughter coming home for break. There are so many things I want to do and I want to spend the whole time with her,” she sighed, “but I know I have to share. Not only with her father, but with her friends.”
Leanne sighed loudly. “I am so looking forward to having my kids be more independent and not rely on me all the time.”
“I went through that, too. I’m proud and happy about the way she’s growing up, but now I hardly ever see her and I miss my baby.” Jan smiled brightly. “All-in-all, it’s not a bad problem to have. I feel silly now that I’ve admitted it out loud. Your turn, Leanne.”
“I was hoping that maybe you forgot about me. I had an argument with my mother-in-law last night.”
“I thought you argued all the time?” said Morena. “What was so different about this one?”
“Probably not much, but the constant strain is wearing on me. Things have been getting worse since she moved in with us. It’s kind of hard to get in her face and yell at her because she helps out so much with the kids and the house…”
“But,” said Morena, “you want to.”
“Well, it’s my house, dammit, and they’re my kids. The whole respecting-your-elders thing is bull when it comes to the way I raise my kids.”
“What does Johnny think about the whole situation?” asked Mel.
“He doesn’t believe it’s as bad as it is.” Leanne threw up her hands in frustration. “She only gets critical and nasty when he’s at work, which has been a lot, lately. When he gets home, she doesn’t say anything wrong. And, she praises him to high heaven, so he doesn’t want to hear anything bad about her.” Leanne was on a roll, and her volume increased in direct proportion to her indignation.
Janice tried to calm her down. “That’s a tough one. Do you think it’s grief?”
Leanne snorted and shook her head. “Nah. She weeps and wails when she thinks it’ll do her some good, but that woman hasn’t shed a tear yet that I’ve seen. Not even at the funeral. I really liked Johnny’s daddy. I cried at the funeral, my kids cried at the funeral. I caught Johnny wiping his eyes at the funeral, but that cold-hearted witch was dry-eyed and tight-lipped through the whole thing.”
Mel stared intently at her feet and was conspicuously silent.
Red’s eyes glazed over and she spoke in a monotone. “When my grandmother died, everyone told stories about all the silly things she had done over the years, especially the older people. Hardly anyone cried…not for long, anyway. It was more like a big party with drinking and music and laughter. Lots of laughter…sometimes almost hysterical.” Her head tilted slightly and she smiled, as if she were seeing something that no one else could. “My father called it a grand wake and said that talking about all the good times would give Gramma piece of mind and help her on her journey to heaven.”
Jan reached out and put her hand on top of Red’s and squeezed. “Your father sounds like a wise man.”
“And definitely Irish,” added Morena. “Unfortunately, an Italian is a different monster altogether. I don’t think you have much of a choice except to deal with her, Leanne.”
Jan shifted her attention back to Leanne, but still held Red’s hand. “Everyone grieves in their own way, and her husband has been gone for less than a year.”
“Ya’ll aren’t supposed to defend her, you’re supposed to give me sympathy and let me wallow in self-pity for a little bit before I have to go home and, as Morena so nicely put it, ‘deal with her.’”
5. Monday, April 18
“I got my official kiss-off from Brandt Consulting in the mail on Saturday. They were incredibly polite in the form letter – something like, ‘We appreciate your time and interest in our company, but we do not feel blah, blah, blah…have a nice life.’ I knew when I left the interview that I wasn’t getting the job; I didn’t even want the job, but getting that letter made me feel like crap, anyway. I wish they had just ignored me.”
Cris tried to smooth out the kinks in her towel so she could sit more comfortably. Without looking up, she said, “Do you have any other prospects now, or are you gonna take a break from looking for a while?”
Red ran her hands through her hair and tried to keep her feet still, but her right heel had a mind of its own and refused to comply. “Nothing at the moment, but there’s an MBA in the cast of the play I’m doing and he’s helping me revamp my resume.”
“Really?” Morena was suddenly very interested. “Are you going out with him?”
“Nah.” Red continued to fidget. “He’s just being nice. He doesn’t have any interest in me.”
“That’s what you think,” said Cris. “If a man is taking the time to help you with something as tedious as a resume, he’s interested.”
“If I looked like you, he would be,” Red stopped playing with her hair long enough to wave her hands along the length of her body, “but this is me we’re talking about.”
“You have no idea of your own appeal…or of how many people do not want someone like me.”
“Wait a minute,” said Morena. “I happen to agree with you that Red is beautiful, inside and out, but you are not going to seriously put yourself down, are you?”
Cris smiled in a fair imitation of feline superiority. “Of course not. I like to be pampered and taken care of, and everything about me, from my pedicure to the highlights in my hair, screams high maintenance. Men may like to look at me and try to hit on me, but very few of them actually want to stick around because of that.” She shrugged and made a dismissive gesture with a perfectly manicured hand. “I’m just being realistic. Most men like independent women who can take care of themselves if need be. They wouldn’t even consider someone like me for a serious relationship.”
“Is that why you didn’t invest a whole lot of emotion in your first two marriages?” asked Morena.
“Maybe. Probably. I haven’t given it a lot of thought. I never seriously thought either of those would end with happily ever after.”
Leanne had slumped down on the bench. She readjusted herself and sat up straight. “So, how long do you think it will take for the MBA to hit on Red?”
“He is not going to hit on me.”
“Is he gay?” asked Leanne.
Mel smiled, but didn’t join in.
“No. Jeesh!” Red sounded exasperated, but smiled anyway. “About half of the male cast is, though.”
“Well, then. I betcha Cris is right.” Leanne smiled as if in victory.
“Would you drop it already. The guy is just trying to help me get a lousy job that I’m going to hate, anyway.”
“When you put it like that…” Leanne’s voice trailed off.
“Jan would have some pearl of wisdom right about now.” Cris tried to change the subject. “How about you, Mel? Penny for your thoughts.”
Mel lifted her head. “Sorry, I haven’t been paying as much attention as usual. I was just thinking about some of the faculty balls Alfred and I attended over the years.”
“Aw, Mel,” said Red. “Did your husband have a bad weekend?”
“No. Actually, he’s less talkative every day. It’s better than when he used to yell and call me names.”
“Not other women’s names, I hope?” said Cris.
“I can’t believe you asked that,” said Leanne. “You can be even more tactless than me at times.”
“We can all be tactless at times,” said Mel, pushing a stray piece of hair behind her ear. “And, no, the only woman’s name he ever called me was ‘Ella,’ his mother’s name. That might have made me wonder, but he always called her by name instead of ‘mom’ or ‘mother.’ And he wasn’t very happy when he was yelling to or about Ella. He used to get in moods where he would throw insults at me and use such foul language. I don’t think he knew who I was. I’m sure he didn’t know who I was. He seldom does anymore.”
“So what made you think of the faculty balls?” asked Morena.
“Oh. I got a faculty newsletter in the mail and it talked about the spring ball. It used to be such a big deal.” Mel looked wistful.
“If you enjoyed them, why didn’t you go by yourself?”
Mel looked directly at Morena. “No one invited me, for one thing.” She shifted her gaze down to her lap. “No one would talk to me, for another.”
“They can’t really be that snobby, can they?” said Leanne.
“I don’t know if ‘snobby’ is quite the right word. It’s more that they are self-absorbed. Scientific academia doesn’t have any use for a drooling invalid without a memory…unless it’s to study him. And I could never keep up with their discussions, though I used to think they only broke out the technical terms when I came around.” She wrapped her towel tighter. “I know I’m being hard on them, but even Alfred’s closest friends haven’t called in months. It’s like they just want him to go away.”
Silence filled the room.
Mel’s voice was whisper quiet. “Sometimes, I just want him to go away, too.” Suddenly her shoulders convulsed and a sob escaped her lips.
Cris stood up, wrapped her towel tighter, and crouched down in front of Mel. She gently took Mel’s hands in hers and waited for Mel to look at her.
“You are not alone unless you want to be. We are all here for you if you need us, or if you want us. You just have to ask. We don’t care if Alfred can talk about the latest in genetic engineering or if he wets his Depends. We like you all by yourself.”
Mel wiggled one of her hands free and wiped at the tears on her face.
“You have no idea how much that means to me, knowing that you really care and would help if I asked. Alfred was the only one in my life I could depend on for…ever, it seems.” She straightened her shoulders and looked around the room. “Right now, I have to take care of things by myself, but the day may come when I ask for help.” She smiled and put one hand on Cris’ shoulder. “Thank you. Now, tell me about your step-daughter.”
Cris stood up and stretched the kinks out of her legs before sitting back down on the bench.
“Well, she has that beautiful glow that pregnant women get, and she and her boyfriend – who is still not a fiancé, much to my husband’s dismay – are getting everything together for a nursery. They haven’t painted it yet because she hasn’t gone in for an ultrasound. They’re hoping to find out in two weeks what the baby will be and then they’ll finish the room.” Cris took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “And I haven’t been able to touch her belly or feel happy about the whole thing yet.”
Leanne laughed. “It’s a good thing you’re a master at self-control, huh?”
“You can laugh all you want, but you have no idea how hard it is not to scream and throw a tantrum when my step-daughter is doing exactly what I want to do.”
“I suppose living vicariously is not an option?” asked Red.
Morena didn’t give Cris time to answer for herself. “Not for someone who’s used to always getting her way.”
Cris stuck out her bottom lip in a pout and, somehow, managed to look even more sultry and beautiful than before. “Well, I am used to getting my way. I’m just afraid this may be the one time it won’t happen.”
6. Tuesday, April 19
Leanne slumped down in her usual position, tilted her head back and sighed in absolute pleasure. “I really love this sauna.”
“After the sauna, when I step into a cool shower and I can feel all my pores closing up – that’s the feeling I really love,” said Morena
“I just like to sweat.”
“You’re a sick person, Red. What’s your real name, anyway? I don’t think you ever told me.”
“If you showed up at one of my plays, you would have seen it in the program.”
“You haven’t been in a G-rated play, yet. Johnny has very set beliefs on what is and what is not acceptable entertainment for the mother of his children.”
“Ah, that good old Italian double standard.” Cris nodded knowingly.
“At least it is a standard. My sister’s married to a guy who has none. It does get kind of frustrating not being able to let loose, sometimes, though. So, what’s your name?”
“Clarissa,” Red muttered.
“That’s a beautiful name,” said Mel.
“Yeah, it is. Why don’t you use it?” asked Leanne.
Red shrugged. “I’ve just always been ‘Red,’ even in college. Clarissa sounds a little more sophisticated than I feel. It’s the name on my resume, though. I guess when I finally get a real job, I may have to get used to it.”
“I’m thinking about getting a job.”
“Why on earth would you do that?” Cris frowned at Leanne in apparent disbelief. “You don’t need the money.”
“Getting out of the house more would keep me from killing my mother-in-law.”
“That’s a good reason,” said Morena, matter-of-factly.
“Yeah, I’d hate to think of your kids visiting you in jail,” added Red.
Leanne opened her eyes and squinted at Red. “I don’t think it would come to that.”
“You could always spend more time shopping. It’s fun and, as long as you pay for the things you take, you don’t go to jail,” suggested Cris.
“Fun? Speak for yourself,” said Red.
“Well,” amended Cris, “it’s fun if you’re spending someone else’s money.”
“There’s always volunteer work,” said Mel.
“Hell, there are about a dozen theater groups nearby that could use volunteer help, if you don’t feel like working with the normal charities.” Red smiled broadly, “They probably aren’t G-rated, though.”
“I’m still just in the thinking-about-it stage, but those are some other options I can add to my list. Whatever it is, I’m ready for a change. ‘Course, at the speed I go, it may take until Christmas for me to do anything about it.”
Nobody spoke for almost a full minute.
Cris cleared her throat. “I talked about babies yesterday.”
“Really?” Mel’s face lit up with genuine pleasure.
“Yeah. Kim and I were home alone while Garrant was at work, so I didn’t have much of a choice. I couldn’t ignore her without being totally rude, and I do like her. It was weird, but not bad.”
Mel pursed her lips in indecision before she finally asked what she wanted to know. “Do you think you will resent her child?”
Cris sighed. “I don’t think I could really resent a child, but I might be jealous. I don’t know how I’ll act when I’m faced with a baby instead of just the thought of one.”
Mel smiled a sad smile. “I always wanted a big family. I was hopeful for the first few years. I loved spending time with other people’s children – sort of like practice for all the babies I was going to have. Eventually, I started to dread spending time with kids because it became clear that I wasn’t going to have any of my own. I even stopped babysitting because it got too painful. I think I might enjoy being around kids, now.”
Red grimaced. “You’re already changing diapers and doing the spoon-feeding thing. At least babies are easy to pick up and they don’t shout obscenities at you.” Red’s mouth dropped open and her eyes grew wide. “I am so sorry, Mel. I should never have said that.”
Mel surprised everyone by laughing heartily. “You’re right. You shouldn’t have. But it is true, and I can’t fault you for that.”
7. Wednesday, April 20
“Wow, it seems so quiet and roomy in here with only four of us.”
Leanne snorted. “Only a woman living in a basement studio apartment could ever call a sauna ‘roomy.’”
“Well, it does. And I don’t plan on living in a basement for the rest of my life.” Red lifted one shoulder and dropped it before leaning back against the wall. “I don’t need a lot of space right now, and basements are cheap. Does anyone know where Mel is?”
Morena, Leanne and Cris all shook their heads.
“I hope I didn’t upset her yesterday.”
Morena smiled. “Actually, I think she took your comments very well. Maybe her husband is just having a bad day.”
“Are there any good days with Alzheimer’s?” asked Cris.
“Not that I can imagine, but I’ve never dealt with it personally.”
“Me, neither.”
“I had an aunt, great aunt really, who had Alzheimer’s,” said Leanne. “We all took turns sitting with her until the very end when we had to put her in a home.”
“That must have been hard,” said Morena.
“Depressing, more likely,” said Red.
“It was both. And sad. Very sad. She was such an outgoing person when I was little. Vibrant, even. I was still in high school when she died. When she could still sort of take care of herself, I would go there after school and do my homework at her kitchen table. She wasn’t real bad, then. I just had to get a snack ready for both of us and make sure she didn’t take the wrong medicine or too much of the right medicine.”
“Still, that’s a lot of responsibility for a teen-ager,” Morena said. “I don’t think my parents would have trusted me to do that.”
“You do what you have to do. There were a lot of cousins and friends – in the South, everybody is a cousin or a friend when tragedy or good fortune strikes – and we worked on a schedule. Nobody was too put out by the whole thing, but, eventually, she needed nurses and the whole nine yards, not just kin and company. Mel has her hands full. Even with nurses, she must have to do a lot by herself.”
Cris was noticeably quiet.
“I hope if there is something wrong with Mel’s husband that it won’t make her life any more miserable.”
“Amen,” said Leanne.
“I got her number, yesterday. She’s probably the last person in the world without a cell phone. When I get home, I’ll call and check on her.”
The others nodded at Cris.
“Well, not to change the subject, but I’m going to a cattle call this afternoon for a paying gig.”
“What’s the play about?” asked Cris.
“It’s a typical love story set in the speak-easies of the 30s, but it’s not a play, it’s a musical.”
“Really? That should be fun. In New York?”
“No, it’s going to be in Atlantic City at one of the casinos.”
“I didn’t know you could sing,” said Leanne.
“Well, I won’t be auditioning for the lead, but I can hold my own in a chorus. I did a lot of musical theater in college. If my voice was better, I’d probably try to make that my career, but it’s not.”
“I love musicals, especially all those old movie musicals. It’s always a love story with a happy ending.” Morena sighed, stretched her feet out in front of her and admired her bright pink toenails. “Who am I kidding, I like any love story with a happy ending. The music and dancing are just bonuses.”
“You’ll get your love story one of these days,” said Red.
“Whatever.” Morena squirmed on the bench. “I broke up with Mr. Tactful, so I’m free to keep looking. Again.”
“Third time seems to be the charm for me, so you might want to consider getting the first two marriages out of the way soon.”
Leanne burst into laughter.
Morena almost choked. “I’m hoping to do a lot of dating and keep marriage on hold until I find the winner.”
“Good luck with that,” said Cris.
“Even when you do find the winner - and I love my Johnny - it’s not all roses.”
Red looked around. “Why do we always end up talking about men?”
“We’re women,” Cris said matter-of-factly. “That’s what we do.”
8. Thursday, April 21
“I didn’t get through to Mel until after dinner last night,” Cris said. “She was at the hospital with her husband all day. Since about four in the morning, actually. Heart attack.”
Morena and Red spoke at the same time.
“Omigod! Is he okay?”
“Is she okay?”
“She sounded tired, but not overly upset.” Cris paused and shook her head. “That’s not quite right. I mean, of course she was upset, but she’s been expecting the worst for so long that I think she was more resigned than depressed.”
“How is he?” Leanne asked.
“Apparently, Alfred isn’t ready to give up just yet. It wasn’t a major heart attack, but there must have been a stroke to go with it because he lost some control over one arm.”
“Is he going to have to stay in the hospital?”
“No. Mel explained that he had some irrational fear of being abandoned in a hospital, so he bought amazing supplemental insurance to make sure that he could wither and die at home. If you ask me, it was just plain selfish on his part. He wasn’t concerned about Mel at all. The super-insurance didn’t cover her, just him.”
Red’s jaw dropped. “And Mel put up with that?”
“Mel didn’t realize that she wasn’t covered until she had to use the insurance for him.”
“That worthless pig!” Leanne’s voice was vicious.
“I agree. Unfortunately, Mel doesn’t have a whole lot of options. She’s making excuses for him and rationalizing what he did.”
“I don’t get it,” said Red. “How can she not be fuming? I’d let the pig rot in a nursing home.”
Leanne quirked her lips in a sad smile and sighed. “I miss the days when everything was black and white. You may not realize it yet, Red, but sometimes, pride is all you have. Admitting that you could have been wrong, especially about someone you love, is just not an option.”
Cris’ sharp eyes raked over Leanne.
Morena sat up straight and her usual flippancy was gone. “I could think of a few names worse than ‘pig’ to call him, but we have to be supportive of whatever Mel does. That’s what she needs right now.”
They all agreed. Mel needed support.
Red forced cheerfulness into her voice. “Well, it’s not happy, but it’s a change of topic. I didn’t get into that musical.”
Eyes flicked in her direction, but no one responded.
“I did get leads on a couple other upcoming auditions, though.”
Encouraging murmurs followed that statement before they all lapsed into thoughtful silence.
9. Friday, April 22
“Well, Clarissa, are you feeling at home, again, now that there are six of us crammed into this sauna?”
“Clarissa? That’s nice,” said Jan.
“Yeah, you missed our discussion about her name,” said Leanne.
“I still like being called Red.”
“I didn’t think you would be here, today, Jan.”
“My daughter spent last night at her dad’s. I thought about ignoring the alarm today, but the house was so quiet, I just wanted to get out.”
Red looked pointedly at Leanne. “One of the advantages of living in a basement is that I hardly ever feel that eerie kind of quiet.”
“Don’t get defensive. I’ve lived in worse places than your basement.”
“Really?”
“Guar-an-teed. My last year of college, I shared a studio apartment above a garage with a friend. It wasn’t much more than a dorm room with a kitchen. Let me tell you, four years of friendship were sorely tested in that little place. Half the time we wanted to kill each other and the other half we were crying on each other’s shoulders. I’ve never been able to keep my emotions in.”
Cris lifted one eyebrow questioningly, but didn’t say anything.
Morena changed the subject. “So how’s your husband doing, Mel?”
Silence stretched for ten long seconds before she answered. “He’s home, again.” She paused, licked her lips and continued, speaking slowly. “I don’t know if he even understands that he’s at home and not at the hospital, though. I think he would be better off at the hospital, but it’s not what he wanted.”
Jan, not having the necessary information to be outraged on Mel’s behalf, asked, “Did they have to put in a stent or operate for a blockage?”
“No.” Mel didn’t elaborate. After a long pause, she looked at Cris. “Thank you for calling and checking on me. It… I mean, I… Well, thank you.”
“You’re welcome. We were all worried about you, I just happened to be the one with your phone number.”
“I appreciate it.” Mel looked down at her lap and her hands that couldn’t seem to stay still.
“I finished my new resume. It’s a lot better than the last one. More professional. The first batch is going out in the mail today.”
“That’s great,” said Morena. “Did the MBA ask you out, yet?”
Red sneered at her. “We go out as a group after rehearsals. I’m telling you, he was only being nice; he’s not interested in me.”
“Is, too.”
Leanne snickered at Red, but turned toward Jan, “How was the week with your daughter?”
“Frustrating. I love seeing her but it’s hard to accept that I’m not the center of her life. I know it; I just don’t like it.”
“They do grow up.” Leanne closed her eyes and smiled. “Personally, I can’t wait.”
“Oh, I understand that. I don’t begrudge her her friends. It’s other things. Like, now, she suddenly seems to think much more of her father than she ever did before. He’s successful and he’s not a bad person, but he wasn’t there for her for most of her adolescence. I resent the way she seems to idolize him, now.”
“That sucks,” said Red.
“Yeah, it does.” Jan laughed without humor. “Thanks for putting it so succinctly. And it doesn’t seem to bother her that he has a wife, but she got angry when we were out and someone tried to flirt with me. I just don’t get it.”
Mel didn’t lift her head. Her voice was so quiet that Jan almost didn’t hear it. “You are the stability in her life. She doesn’t want that to change.”
Jan stared at Mel with a stupefied expression on her face.
“Wait a minute,” said Morena. “Let’s not gloss over this flirtation thing. Was he cute?”
“Yeah.” Jan smiled. “As a matter of fact, he was.”
“So, let’s go out to wherever you saw him and hope that he’ll be there, again. I’m footloose and fancy free at the moment.”
“What does that mean, anyway?” asked Cris.
“Um…it means that I am unattached and don’t have a care in the world.” Morena announced proudly.
“Yeah. But, ‘fancy free?’” Cris lifted her hands palms up and shrugged. Morena mirrored the gesture.
Leanne straightened against the wall, gradually scooting herself back, “You may be unattached, but that’s all.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” said Morena.
“It means we all have our own hang-ups. Lord knows, I’ve got mine, so don’t get in a snit thinking I’m insulting you.”
Morena looked thoughtful, then said, “Okay. I’ll give you that. But let’s not lose track of what we were talking about. Wanna go out this weekend, Jan?”
“It’s tempting, but I want to be available in case my daughter is around. Maybe another time?”
“Okay.”
“If it wasn’t for the kids, I’d go out with you, Morena. Johnny’s been working late a lot, lately, and he doesn’t do much other than sleep when he gets home.”
“Maybe he doesn’t get along with his mom, either, and he’s trying to avoid her,” suggested Cris.
“I don’t think that’s it. He doesn’t seem to pay any more attention to her than he does to me. He doesn’t even play around with the kids the way he used to. John, Jr. even commented on it when I put him to bed last night. Christian didn’t say anything – they share a room – but I could see the wheels spinning in his head when John, Jr. asked what was wrong with Daddy and I told him he was just tired because he had been working so hard. Whatever it is, I hope he snaps out of it soon.”
Leanne closed her eyes and leaned back. Several concerned looks passed between the other women.
10. Monday, April 25
“This is the perfect way to start a new week. I can’t wait to get back to work, today.”
“You are so not normal, Jan.” Red stretched her feet out and bent side to side. “I, personally, hate work.”
“But you love theater. That should be your work.”
“Unfortunately, theater doesn’t want to pay me. Of course, no one else is knocking down doors to hire me, either.” She bent forward and covered her face with her hands. False drama crept into her unusually whiny voice. “I don’t want to be a middle-aged waitress.”
Leanne patted Red’s leg with great condescension. Morena rolled her eyes.
“Maybe you haven’t found the right theater, yet. Keep looking and you will find it,” Cris said. “Everybody should do what they love. It took me three tries to find a man who actually likes to watch me spend his money.”
“You are so unashamedly selfish,” said Morena. “I wish I were more like you.”
“No, I am not. I just like to amuse myself by shopping, and I don’t like other people telling me what to do. I do do things at home for Garrant. I’m actually a very good housekeeper, and I like to bake. My baking is like a consolation prize for the healthy food I force on Garrant. Basically, I’m a housewife who pampers herself.” Cris’ body almost crumpled against the wall in an unaccustomed slouch. “I’d rather be shopping for baby stuff and have a messy house, though.”
“The grass is always greener…” whispered Mel.
Morena stared at Leanne, who had not spoken at all. Her brow was scrunched up and her lips pressed too tightly together. “What’s up, Leanne? You usually don’t let a conversation like this go by without comment.”
“Oh,” she muttered. “I’m just in a mood, I guess.”
“Must be some mood,” said Red in a mock whisper. Then, louder, “I brought in fliers for the play I’m in. I’ll put one up in here on the community board, but I have extras if any of you want to put one up out of the kindness of your hearts. Hint, hint.”
Morena laughed. “Yeah, I’ll take one. There’s a bulletin board in our lobby.”
“I can put one up in the break room,” said Jan.
“I’ll be going to the library later, if you want me to leave one there,” offered Mel.
“I can’t think of any place to put one,” said Cris. “Sorry. What about you, Leanne? Do you think Johnny would put one up at his office?”
Leanne didn’t answer, and her expression was still severe.
“Leanne?”
“What?” she looked up with a confused expression, then shook her head. “Uh, no. I don’t think so.”
The room lapsed into silence as everyone stared at Leanne. She didn’t notice for a long minute. When she realized the room was quiet, she very slowly studied each concerned face before resuming her previous downcast position. She drew in a deep breath before she spoke.
“Johnny’s screwing his secretary. I caught them yesterday, with all four kids in tow.”
“Whoa.”
“Holy shit!”
“I’m so sorry.”
Leanne didn’t look up.
“Johnny said he had paperwork to get caught up on and that he would be at the office.” Leanne’s usually animated voice was a dull monotone. “He couldn’t lie about the office part because I pass by there all the time and see his truck. He made it pretty clear that he would be busy all afternoon, so I took the kids out for miniature golf, the weather being so nice and all, then I decided to surprise him because I thought he’d been working really hard lately and needed a break. We picked up a couple pizzas and I told the kids we could have a pizza picnic at the office with Daddy. His truck was the only vehicle in the lot, so I assumed he was alone doing paperwork.” She paused, licked her lips, but didn’t look up. “It’s a good thing the kids are so noisy or they would have seen a whole lot more than they did. As it was, Johnny and Melissa – I think that’s her name - were frantically trying to get dressed when we walked into his office. They were covered, but shoes, pantyhose and underwear were scattered all around the couch – the couch that I didn’t know was a fold-out bed.”
Leanne sniffled and wiped at the tears on her face.
“I didn’t know what to say or do, and the kids were all crowding behind me, trying to get into the office. Finally, little Marie tugged on my shirt and I snapped out of it. I told the kids we were going to have to eat our pizza at home because Daddy had other plans. And we left. He never said a word. He showed up at the house about ten minutes after we did and ate pizza with us. His mother was there. She was her normal critical self, observing everything. Johnny talked to the kids, but they were pretty quiet, too. He didn’t say anything to me. He just watched me. He didn’t leave the house, or me, until he went to work this morning. He tried to talk to me a few times, but I wouldn’t listen. I don’t want to hear his explanations. I don’t really want to do anything right now. I’m just sort of numb.”
“Oh, Leanne, I’m so sorry,” said Jan, reaching out and patting her leg.
Leanne looked absently at Jan’s dark hand covering her own pale skin. She couldn’t even feel the contact. “Thanks,” she muttered.
“You have to do something,” said Morena. “You can’t let him get away with that.”
“Spoken like someone who works for a lawyer,” said Leanne. “I don’t know if I can leave him, take the kids away and make it on my own. I just don’t know if I have it in me.”
“If it’s what you want,” Cris ventured very carefully, “you’ll find it in you, but it may not be what you want.”
Red’s Irish perked up. “You can’t possibly be suggesting that she stay and put up with a cheating husband, can you?”
“Everything changes when you’re a mom, Red.” Jan said. “Whatever Leanne decides will affect not only her and Johnny, but four innocent children. Moms can’t afford to think only of themselves.”
“But…”
Leanne put her hand on top of Jan’s and squeezed. “You’re right. That’s what’s got me tied up in knots. I have to do what’s best for the kids, not for me. I just don’t know if I can ever forgive him.”
“If you’re not happy, the kids won’t be, either,” said Red with a distinct pout in her voice.
Leanne flicked her eyes at Red. “You’re right, too. I don’t have any good options that I can see, right now.”
“You’re going to have to talk to Johnny, eventually,” said Mel. “Whether you stay or go, the two of you are going to have to be able to talk for the sake of your children.”
“I don’t know where I would go. My kids have lives and friends here. The only place I could go is home to my parents, and the kids would hate it. I’d have to earn money somehow, but I haven’t had a job in over ten years, since I was pregnant with John, Jr.. Then, if we were in North Carolina, how would Johnny be able to be a father to them?”
Morena took a deep breath and avoided Leanne’s eyes. “It’s not automatic that mothers get custody of the kids anymore. If you try to move south, he could probably present a pretty valid legal case to prevent it or to keep the kids here. On the other hand,” she finally looked at Leanne, “you have a very good case for a generous divorce settlement and alimony. You should probably talk to a lawyer even if you plan to stay with him, just to see what your options are. Not the one I work for, but I do know who the dirtiest - and most effective - divorce lawyers are, if you decide to go that route.”
“Thanks. Why don’t you write down some of those names for me, tomorrow? I still have some thinking to do before I call anyone, though. I haven’t said anything to my family yet, just you guys.”
11. Tuesday, April 26
“How are you feeling, today, Leanne?” asked Jan.
“Still numb. Still haven’t had a long talk with Johnny, but I’m not totally ignoring him. Can we talk about something else?”
“Sure,” said Morena. “I met another incredibly rude client, yesterday. He was pissed off because he got caught doing some shady land deal that included bribery. You’d think there would be some sense of remorse in these people, but it’s all righteous indignation.”
“Don’t you have to keep client confidentiality, or something like that?” asked Red.
Morena smiled. “What’s more confidential than a little cubicle with no windows? Besides, I never mention names and this is the only place where I get to bitch about work. My friends love to gossip and my family is so ecstatic that I work for a “big shot” lawyer – their term, not mine – that they wouldn’t believe anything was wrong. ”