Ekotren Vs. Nonpoint
By: Jestin Lightner aka: Hollow
Copyright 2010 by Jestin Lightner
Smashwords Edition
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVF2yycr5vw
Author’s Note
I was crashing on skid row in downtown LA and really board a couple years back while I was really low on sleep one day when I checked out this Nonpoint fan video or some shit based on, I think it was Soul Caliber or whatever. Anyways, I liked it and it made me think of some pretty neat ideas for a serial novel. So if you weren’t here from the very beginning of it you should now be up to date. Since I began writing the EVN serial my friends over at Nonpoint decided to get involved and even contributed the music video “Miracle” which I have designated the alias, “EVN 4”. The second and third installments were also pretty cool. Dozens of feds get slaughtered by machine gun fire before the setting switches to outer space and our fellow bi pollar bithcy brothers realize the only way to turn back time in order to correct their wrongs is to sneak into Marilyn Manson’s mansion in order to steal an ancient scroll. The story eventually leads to the “Restaurant At The End Of The Universe” and turns into a Douglas Adams spoof. If I remember correctly, Earl from Into The Moat even makes a cameo in EVN 3.
Unfortunately, EVN 2 & EVN 3 have been lost along the way. They were available on my myspace blog for a while (myspace.com/hollow8nothing) but I took them down. Since then by laptop was physically stolen, as was my flash drive, and I can’t seem to find an additional back up copy in any of my inboxes so there you go Hey, for fan fiction, EVN has done better than anyone could have expected and any author can EVER expect from this style of writing so thanks a lot!
Also by the same author
THE BATTLE FOR THE RED GATES SAGA
The Shadowbelt
“When a psychic and a priest cross paths a paradox is bound to occur.”
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/11495
Divided Wings of Demonic Love
“The sequel to the indie hit ‘The Shadowbelt’ fires on cylinders”
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/34923
Feel free to come back and visit my worlds as often as you’d like.
“Dance bitches dance!" John lead singer of Ekotren smacked one of the strippers
way to hard in the face with a stack of bills. She cringed at the slight sting for a moment
as her pain was resolved to pleasure while one of her six hot chick dance partners that surrounded John began making out with her lesbian tongue action style. The singersipped his drink and laughed at the pleasurable idiocy while "paradise city" blastedthroughout the club and his other four escorts for the evening snorted rails off of each others tits. John was enjoying his time off from the stage however he was continuously distracted every time someone entered the front door of the Babes in Toyland gentlemen's club. He glanced over to his guitar player Keith at the bar and shrugged as if to say "Where the hell is Derek? I hope he's alright."
Keith immediately jumped on his phone after sliding the short skirt blonde fromhis lap and used the backdoor of the club to find some privacy for the call. Just as Keith exited Derek entered the front door, cell phone to his ear.
"What?" he shouted over the music "Hold on, let me go outside." he walked
back out the front door just as Keith reentered from out back as he clicked his phone shut.
Again, John made eye contact with Keith, spoke telepathically, and they shrugged at the same time. John motioned for the guitar player to follow as he left his girls and went out back. As Derek returned and met Keith and a sarcastic joke they also made their way out back to meet with John.
"So whats up?" John sniffed once they formed their back parking lot circle.
"Hold on." Derek said obviously annoyed "Hey, you two!" he shouted across the
parking lot at what appeared to be a stripper sitting in the passenger seat of a shitty mid
eighties BMW. The passenger door was open and some crack head looking malato stood over her, hunched against the roof, getting a really cheap blow job.
"Yeah asshole and the hooters reject! What do you think this is the Booby Flap?
Get the hell out of here!"
"Motha Fucka what'd you say?" The stranger fronted back aggressively. Keith, not having the patience to deal with this shit, picked up a rusty hand axe from the ground,raised it above his head, and threw it thirty feet across the expanse. The axe fell just short of its mark, skipped once and under the open car door where the blade bit into the man's ankle just enough to crack bone and draw blood. He hollered out in pain and tried to pull away from his whore but out of fear she instinctively bit down hard and as she did she cut deeply into flesh.
The guys began laughing hysterically like mad men but Derek actually shook his head in disgust. Blood drained from the whores mouth like a vampire as she lept from the car, tits and all bouncing in the open as she pushed passed her client (who fell to the ground shouting all types of obscenities) and ran across the parking lot and in through the shipping entrance.
"Damn!" Keith groaned. "I aimed for his head."
This forced even Derek to share in the laughter. "This is so fucked up." He tried to say in between laughs as he flipped open his phone and texted an employee inside the club to get out back fast and clean up the mess.
"Guys, this thing is on." Derek warned
"Really?" John laughed "No shit man."
"Bro," the bass player waved a finger "This aint a good thing and I'm not talking
about the idiot laying in a pool of his own blood over there."
"Sure it is." John kept shifting his weight back and forth. "Besides, I gotta plan."
"You know I got your back brother but I just don't like this one bit." Derek spoke
plainly
"We've got home field advantage man." Keith stated matter o' factly.
"What do you mean?" Derek reminded "I just gave Elias our terms which
specifically stated the battle will go down on the streets of Pompano."
"You see, that's the trap isn't it?" John smirked
The conversation was interrupted by the click of a clip being loaded into a gun.The three musicians watched as one of their clean up guys pumped two rounds, one to the chest and one to the head, silencer style, into the smart ass who didn't have the right to not watch his tongue while talking to Ekotren. John nodded in approval while the corpse was loaded into the cars trunk in prep to be dumped off of the cape's mid point bridge.
"We've got something up our sleeve big time." Keith said to Derek.
"What?" the bass player was obviously annoyed at being left in the dark.
"Chupacabra." Keith and John spoke at the same time
"Oh shit," Derek almost laughed in relief. "Really?"
"Hell Yeah!" Elias shouted as Derek approached Nonpoints VIP table at the Leopard club in Pompano just around the corner from the casino. "Its time to throw back you know what I'm saying dog?" The two men hugged and waved the hoes that surrounded the table away like nats as they sat down to talk business.
"So, how you doing Elias? I heard you finally released the Goldman news." Derek was relieved the singer was in a good mood for this wasn't gonna be an easy conversation.
After the seductive moaning and complaining of the whores subsided a large red curtain was wrapped around the table creating a very creepy form of lighting for such a
meeting to take place. A light flared as Elias lit a blunt and offered it to Derek who turned
it down. This was business and nothing aside.
"So whats really up man?" Elias asked as he carefully moved his dreads, which
ended in razorblades, carefully behind his shoulders.
"We've gotta put an end to this thing now." He replied "I mean, whats the point?"
"Well," the singer smirked "I gues we're just a bunch of Bi polar bitchy brothers
who don't have enough room for one another in south florida. What other options do we
have? This is vengeance for everything we've had to deal with growing up."
"Who is we," Derek got angry "and what are you talking about? I don't want a
war. I just want piece of mind and not your communist bullshit."
"And you've got a lot of nerve to even speak to me like that essay!" Elias raised
his voice trying not to cough on the weed. "We are family in music but where you and
your men run the west, I run the east side of south florida. As you can see, the breathing
room has dwindled. Therefore, the losers of the match will be banished to north florida
and can no longer play any more south Florida gigs without paying out the winner 75% of
all profits retained. For the terms of our agreement, south Florida will incorporate all of
the Orlando area south."
"Thanks for reiterating your ridiculous terms." Derek replied. "Here are John’s
demands in writing or the Diecast army will be called in for backup."
“I will drop you without a blink of an eye fool."
The situation had escalated indeed.
"Look asshole, I'm just not gonna do it and that's the bottom line." Jestin spoke
matter of factly as he shook his head with conviction."I mean shit man, you’re fucking crazier
than I am!"
Steve, keyboard player and backup vocalist of Ekotren smiled sadistically. "The
plan is simple. You either hook up the explosive to a cell phone remote detonation system
or I'll kill your family." he replied.
"Pfff, don't do me any favors." Jestin scoffed "You can do this yourself."
Howa bout this….." Steve waves a waitress over to the table and her half naked charm is
only rivaled by the stacks of cash on her tray.
"God, I love this place." The two men spoke at the same time. Diamond and Dolls
was notorious in this town.
"It’s around a hundred g's."; Steve explained "And never mind where I got it
from. The thing is this….. No one is even saying that we're gonna use your detonator. We
just need it as an insurance policy."
"And who is we exactly?" Jestin raised an eyebrow. "And whats gonna make me
think this isn't about the fight coming up?"
"Yo, yo, yo, dude!" A burly guy with a new york accent and two cigarettes
hanging from his mouth lumbered up to the table. "Jestin, I got this hot little thing over
there just begging to fuck….. You gotta let me borrow two hundo man cause I'm short."
"Here's your cut." The hacker takes a small stack from the piles of money on the
table and hands it over.
"Whoa, thanks dog!" Dave fumbled with a goofy laugh "My cut of what?"
"Its for shutting the fuck up now run along and play." As Dave left Jestin shook
his head "And how many times do I have to freakin tell you not to bother me when I'm
closing for Christ sakes man…… Fuckin Interns! Sorry about that Steve. So, who is it
you want me to kill again?"
The two men exchanged crooked grins as they met eye to eye for a long moment.
"No one….. Like I said, the detonator is an insurance policy, that's all."
"Save the lies for your lawyer or I'm gonna take another 5 K and walk away from
you for wasting my time."
"Alright, alright." The keyboardist finally crumbled. "Its…… John. With him out
of the way I will be lead singer of Ekotren once and for all!" he laughed maniacally.
"Holy Shit!" Jestin scoffed "Your really working for Nonpoint aren't you you
fuckin turncoat prick! Cool, but if John goes then I'm at least getting your old backup
spot in the band……
"Deal." Steve smiled "And if you fuck me," Jestin warned "Chicago's gonna make it rain on you all day long my friend….got it?"
"Deal."
"Dude, are you fucking kidding me!" Chris exclaimed "Not from my computer
you don't!"
"Chill out bro." Jestin began to remind him "This computer is registered to your
parents. Besides, I'm cool with some fellas at Harvard so I don't think they'd mind to
much if I just borrowed a few code snippets. Look, if there is a problem have A. Mac
get his lawyer on the phone. He still owes me a twenty spot, plus points, for that play off
game remember? Don't bet against New England at home in the snow?"
"But that's diff…." chris was interrupted.
"Do you think I made you my apprentice for no reason?" Jestin asked
sarcastically. "I got you your license now you can put that newly molded business brain
to work for me for real. Enough of this pussy footing around bro. Its just a few functions
from the quantum physics analytical calculus server cluster. I'm just stealing enough math
that I don't need to know."
"That doesn't make any sense." Chris stated the obvious.
"Remember our discussion on fuzzy logic the other day?" the hacker responded.
"Dude, your fucking nuts." The apprentice laughed.
"I know."
It can be difficult to fool these high end network IDS systems, especially
Harvard's. However, with the proper remote VPN credentials its easy to slip in right
underneath the intrusion system, slip passed any flags, and ultimately avoid the auto hack
emergency response system. Just gotta get the right IP to spoof cause access is usually
always static and a bit different from the random one time use password encryption also
in use like a key chain USB device in an old e-trade commercial. If that doesn't put the
icing on the cake then the third times a charm wrong password lock out policy will. Then,
once you've breeched the initial perimeter you've also gotta have a LAN account
password with the appropriate access rights to even begin copying the attached network
resource data you are targeting. This is all wrapped in a sweet cigar they call almost
unbreakable encryption. And then there is gotomypc.com.
"National security doesn't exist my friend." Jestin spoke in his matter of fact
doctor tone. "Lets take this system just as an example. All that's gonna happen if the
admin will get an email in his inbox tomorrow morning which he most likely wont even
read about a thrity minute remote VPN connection around midnight from an authorized
user. I'm just a professor working late….no prob."
"Are you fucking serious bro?" Chris sounded amazed "I though that something
like this would go directly to the president of the united states desk!"
"What?" Jestin laughed "The president is always a fool that is way to far removed
from reality for his own good and for the good of the country. That's just a given. I mean,
shit, you would agree that in order to be the president all you have to be is a super finance
hack with the right connections right? Like a series 666 right?"
"Of course, but…." Chris was interrupted again
"You're here to learn not talk.." Jestin continued "You'd also agree that most
modern presidents are involved in corrupt financial scandals either known or unknown
correct? That's just because they are old school finance hacks, no more and no less then
simply well connected crooks….You know, like most CEO's and the like but much much
worse. With that said, we are in much more of a modern era then they even think we
know and those fools on capital hill micro manage our digital jungle like a group of
infants who just shit their pants, hence the reason for our countries financial issues. They
let the banks rip us off cause they control them its that simple. Look, if regulators at the
top level were advanced tier practicing computer programmers as well as financial
wizards they'd be fully qualified to run our country but the simple fact is they aren't.
Look, without security there can be no infrastructure and if the top person in charge of
US security, the president of the US, can only just barely understand IT security let alone
not even have any experience as a school of hard knocks network pen tester then he or
she cant even begin to carve out modified regulations that are an effective alternative to
this dinosaur shit we are drowning in. We are the internet generation. We took the music
industry because we wanted it and now we want the white house. Don't ever interrupt me
again, I'm a genius."
"Aside from greed, I think you might be right." Chris nodded
"You must be talking about their greed not being right." Jestin responded "Howa
bout this. Vote republican, McCain, who refuses to even use a computer will get
assassinated and then at least we'll have a hot chick in office who's tits we can stare at
while the president lies to us. Fuck it all cause its all bullshit anyways until our
generation gets up in there. Go ahead and turn to the chapter on equity security analysis
and take the quiz at the end of the chapter while I finish up my computer work. What'd
you think I was incredibly stupid?"
"Well, just be aware and alert man." Jestin was a bit taken aback by one of his
mentors reaction. "Look, what the hell ever, no one gives a fuck. But when I here Elias
dedicate "Past it All" to my old scene way back in 97' in "Alive and Kicking" and then
they go into "Past It All" all I here is Terri and Jestin almost as if it were insinuated. She
and I were almost married back then when I played in Hollow. I don't expect you to get
that. Its like when I hear "Tranqualized" by Ekotren all I see is Danielle's ghost dance
around my head in that cafeteria. Dude, you've just gotta do something…. The south
florida music scene is about to erupt in civil war and of course, as usual, the underground
is looking to me for advice and I just don't know what to do this time around. I need your
wisdom that's all."
"Alright, alright, I see what you mean." he replied "I'll see what I can do. Whenever your in the area you can stop by any time. Just stop picking on poor old John Croft for firing you from electric guitars. You know he's getting senile at his age and doesn't always make the best business decisions all the time."
"Deal. Peace out."
"I just don't get it?" Jestin exclaimed "Why not war with a faggot group like New Found Glory or some other bullshit band. I mean, fuckin with Nonpoint is like fuckin with some real
nigga shit you know what I mean?"
"And so is fucking with Ekotren." John reminded
"Your right." Jestin hung his head somberly as a moment of silence proceeded.
"I gotta run, man." John ended the silence "Hit me back when you get that
program compiled for us."
"You got it dude."
And so the day finally had arrived. The stage was set. What was once dubbed as a
territorial record label dispute of a street fight had turned into an all out battle to the pain
of death and not a second before. The terms of the battle were simple: take the opposing
team leaders head. And it all starts with a basic one on one melee in the middle of
Atlantic boulevard and Dixie Highway in pompano beach. The broward sheriff's office
lined the streets. A hundred pigs dressed in full riot gear showed up as a few thousand
onlookers surrounded the perimeter and congested the streets as they spilled out into the
old pompano ghettos just outside of the intersection.
Elias and John stood alone in the middle of it all, eyes locked in mortal combat.
The crowds roar died down to a buzz as Elias whipped his dreadlocks around allowing
their razorbladed ends to catch the sun. John drew forth what appeared to be an energy
saber.
"I'm gonna kick your ass back to Lou's Subs punk," he sneered as he activated his
weapon. Upon activation a fiery snake sprung forth from the device and it whipped
around in the air above his head leaving psychedelic trails in its wake as it distorted
reality and made it difficult for Elias to tell exactly where his enemy was exactly. "No
one can save you now but yourself!"
"What I'm gonna do with you is take you by the neck." The dreadlocked singer
screamed "I'm gonna drag you around kicking and screaming and show you no love and
the cause and effect for everything that I have to deal with."
Like a cowboy, one of the towns greatest heroes drew forth a glock virtually out of
nowhere and aimed for Johns blurred head!
"Don't bother screaming for help sucka!" He laughed as he pulled the trigger. At
point blank range the bullet discharged and with a great gasp from the audience. The
bullet closed the measly ten foot expanse in less then a half a second and to everyone’s
surprise simply bounced off of John's head like a pebble.
"Don't ya know brotha that I can dodge bullets?" he scoffed.
At this point all bets were off. All of the rules which didn't even exist in the first
place had been broken. Steve, Derek, Eric, and Keith all appeared behind John, weapons
in hand and ready to go. Rob and Ken appeared behind John, weapons locked and ready.
Elias looked around the battlefield baffled!
"Hey, where the hell'd Andy go?" he ordered an answer from someone like a
general demanding answers from his high advisors.
In a poof of smoke appeared none other then a Mohawk spiken, battle axe wielding,
guitar player of Simplekill, Jeff fuckin Martin
"I got your back bro." Jeff proclaimed "Besides, everyone around here knows that
I should be the new guitar player of Nonpoint anyways so I might as well keep it real."
Battle axe to battle axe Keith and Jeff's blood boiled as they stared each other down with
the reflection of John's whip burning in there eyes. Rob lifted a Final Fantasy sized
spiked club up to his shoulder and spit at Ekotren's drummer Eric.
"Well Jr., its time for your medicine." He laughed like a crazed suicide bomber
about to smash into a hotel in pakistan (tasteless joke input here).
Magically, as if out of thin air, a guitar center cash register appeared in Erics hand and as if it were light as a feather lifted it over his head and threw it like a football.
"Like I couldn't stand being trapped behind that fucking thing I cant stand you!"
The register slammed into Rob's chest harmlessly as he laughed.
"Fool of a mortal!." He scoffed "Now you will feel the wrath of the club of
earthquakes!"
At this point the crowd went crazy like the bull charge of a massive Ankla gig!
The police trembled in fear for their frail government encased minds had little to no
comprehension as to what was about to occur. Rob raised his gauntleted fist to the
nonexistent heavens above, club in hand, and struck down with great vengeance as his
weapon rippled realities deceptive fabric with a sonic boom that deafened the weak and
cracked the earth underneath Eric's feet. The rift underfoot raised flames that engulfed the
badass drummer like Oprah Winfrey's belly consumes her panty line!
"You should be ashamed of yourself!" Steve cried out as he quickly cast a spell
and vanished into thin air.
Keith charged Jeff and their battle axes met one another in a mutual fit of rage.
Elias drew forth his own energy saber and activated it as he flipped forward in a whirl of
sweeping razorblades and engaged John in brutal melee. Ken and Derek looked around at
the chaos and shrugged simultaneously.
"Hey man," asked Derek "Wanna smoke a joint? I got some Cali sense with me."
"Right on dude. Far out!" Nonpoints bass player smiled as the two of them pushed
their way through thecarnage discussing side projects. Later on in life as the band they
started went platinum across all quantum galaxies multiplied by a googleplex they wrote
a hit song together making fun of the labels involved so they'd be able to look back at this
whole thing and laugh. It was taken from an old Elias quote….. instead of Blind
Prophecy and Bieler Brothers the song was entitled "The Bi Polar Bitchy Brothers and
the Destruction of Modern Mutual Existence Divided By the Concept of Time ". ***
Meanwhile, back at the Los Angeles control center, Jestin sat at his console with
beads of sweat running down his face and streams of code filtering through his eye
sockets. And then it happened! A window popped up in front of the code and he had just
one red button to activate. Steve, Ekotren keyboardist appeared at his side via an
advanced teleportation technique known only to those in China.
"Holy shit, you got it!" he shouted.
"For fucks sake man, I'm jumpy enough as it is." Jestin laughed "My doctor only
prescribed me like 20 mg of crazy pills a day and I need you given me a heart attack on
top of that! You gotta cell on you?"
"Here." He handed on right over "Shift John to the charge."
"Oh come on, lets have some fun first!" Jestin said all crazy like "You know we
already won." Then continued to plow away at the keyboard. "Wait a minute. I just got a
text. It might be time for a slight change of course.”
John's energy saber whipped and then circled around before it finally swept across
Elias's chest slashing its fiery venow into his system. In immediate response, as if feeling
no pain, Elias whirled his hair around as a dozen double sided razorblades shot forth and
pierced John's force field. Half of the blades bit into his fleshy face sending waterfalls of
blood forth and waves of piercing pain almost paralyzed him.
"Ah, shit, fuck!" John screamed as he crumpled over in shock and agony. Quickly
bringing him back to reality like a phoenix his cell phone rang.
"Yo, dude, you don't look so good." Jestin mentioned like an asshole. "Remember
when you told me to give you a call when I got that program compiled? Well, all I gotta
do is hit this red button and the sequence will be activated."
"What the fuck are you waiting for!" John snarled and spewed up blood as he
slammed his phone on the pavement.
"God damn it!" Elias kicked John when he was down. "I told you what I was
gonna do with you. You know I tried to protect you from the start!"
However, just as Elias drew forth his ceremonial switchblade and the rioting
audience broke the police line and closed in, reality around the combatants rapidly began
to dissolve. The two bands lost all concept of reality for a moment as suddenly they were
teleported just above cape coral's mid point bridge. Suspended in levitation, they were
left alone to finish what should have never been started. Brother against brother, like a
holy war, the battle ensued to rain blood upon the winding bridge but not John was
awarded the initiative of the upperhand.
With the ferocity of a demon wrapped in chains bursting free from its fiery circle
his dark voice boomed the chant of a long lost language of the damned. The malevolent
chant alone melted the skin off of Elias's face which slid like melted cheese as it gooped
down, slopped onto his feet and liquefied as it rained down upon the traffic jammed
bridge below. It happened so fast the warrior hardly felt it. Besides, you can not defeat
what is already dead! The dreadlocked skull warrior clicked his gapping jaw shut as
flames shot forth from its eye sockets like a double barreled shotgun blast. John quickly
dodged from its path as he instantly levitated upwards a good possible life saving twenty
feet.
Keith and Jeff meanwhile sweat blood as they hacked away at one another both in
dier need of the upper hand. Keith reflexively performed a flying levitating back flip, 100
ft. up as he just slipped out of the way of Jeff's double sided axe.
In response, "Hellfire!" Keith screamed in primal rage as he whirled his own axe around like a baseball bat in the pattern of an X which proceeded to shoot forth a great fiery charge of a pentagram down the way at his unsuspecting enemy. Jeff absorbed the hellfire blast as it crashed into his chest like a weak wave on the beach. The flames surrounded his body like a healing aura
as an even more fiendish grin twisted his face.
"You should really do your own research." He laughed like the devil.
"And you," Keith antagonized back "Should talk to my manager!" He then
performed a great suicide dive like a dark warrior charging from the heavens and the two
angels from hell clashed into climatic circumstance.
After shaking off the confusion of his first teleportation, Rob scanned the
battlefield for an easy target to destroy. Unfortunately for him, being that he was
suspended a hundred feet in the air above a large mass of water his weapon was useless
aside from the comparatively useless crushing damage it would wield against an enemy.
The club of earthquakes must be used to its fullest extent and nothing aside. It only took
him a second to overcome his brief fear of falling for some unknown magical field
protected his mind from the paranoia of the battle. Or was it raw adrenaline? And then,
like a meteor lighting the sky and plummeting the earth into an eternal ice age, a light
bulb lit in his head. Using his weightless gravity free action he decided to plummet to the
earth and dive to the bottom of the waters surface.
Meanwhile, at the center of the battles front, Elias cast a quick spell in order to
conjure an ally. Though for some reason unbeknownst to him, his power worked twice as
well as it should have. Not only was he unaware of why this happened he didn't even
know the spell had malfunctioned at all! Actually, the summoning spell appeared to have
worked just fine as the lead singer of Skindred appeared in between John and himself like
a referee.
"Protest!" he screamed like a banshee. "Protest! Stop this shit right now or I’m gonna throw ALL yo asses all the way back to cloud 9 you old pompano punks! Now don’t get me started with the ‘Yo momma’ jokes, fool.”
"Blast 'em already man!" Steve hollered at Jestin who's fingers that were once
lashing violently on the keyboard froze. The hacks eyes began to glow unnaturally as he
spun his head around exposing facial hair that had suddenly grown to the length of
Wolverines!
"Like I said," his tone became guttural and bestial. "We've already won."
The keyboardist drew a gun in an instant and held it up to the extremely dangerous mans
head.
"Do what I say if you want to live." Keith barked back.
"You should know better." The beast laughed for in a matter of a couple seconds,
the "computer guy" completely shape shifted with the cracking of hundreds of bones and
the elongated growth 10,000 canine hairs! Looking upon Steve was that which was
nothing aside from the most folklore riddled nightmares. Like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde the
beast inside the man sought only one thing and its instinct refused to deny it. The bullet
left the guns chamber and it was swallowed whole like an annoying mosquito being
greeted by a toad.
"Consider this," the wolfman laughed "a bonding experience.
The beast proceeded to eat the keyboardists brain like a dancing eel sushi roll without the
wasabi and with extra extra eel sauce, minus the strawberry and shrimp tail garnesh but
with a touch of intestines afterwards instead…..You know, to replace the ginger.
As Keith and Jeff continued to murder each other while their immortal leaders
found themselves in the frustration of a stalemate, Rob found the rivers floor, Club of
Earthquakes in tow. Human skeletons floated all around chained to cinder blocks while
schools of fish flittered about in desperate escape of the sharks that made chase in chaotic
feeding frenzies. Laughing hysterically to himself he lifted the club above his head and
slammed the floor with the force of thunder. His ear lingered as the sonic boom peaked
and then attenuated like a moaning whore as a gigantic rift opened and shook the earth
violently. Lava began spewing forth with waves of steam and flame that unnaturally cut
through the water like a blade. The river itself began to spit fire and brimstone forcing the
bridge above to begin to crack and crumble as it began raining cars filled with screaming
children on their way to school and business men alike! This was the end indeed as the air
filled with the smell of burning children flesh! This was just way over the line as school
busses plummeted to their deaths in droves like lemmings in an old SNES game.
Rob surfaced to find the massive bridge sinking like the titanic. Fireballs shot
forth from the waters surface as Lee County's innocent citizens plummeted to their
watery graves where the sharks waited to feast on their flesh. Above the chaos, beyond
the great equalizer, he saw his brothers killing one another and suddenly began to weep
uncontrollably!
"What have I done?" he cried out to the heavens but it was too late.
Rising from the ocean was a multi headed beast wearing several dark crowns
which screamed rage, chaos, and unholy spite as its first language. It was the embodiment
of all cold hard reality. An unholy being of mythical proportions which drank the blood of
the oceans titans, feasted on the rotten flesh of decomposing mermaids, and masterbated
on poseidons face for the fun of it. Yes, it was true…. The heavenly father of the south
florida music scene before us had been awakened from his slumber and he was pissed
off! Brian Warner, Marilyn Manson, had finally been called forth from his rapture.
"So children….." Brian sounded dismayed "What have you done to the earth?"
It was as if time itself stood still in the space between cape coral and ft myers
florida. The great one had appeared to bestow his ancient wisdom deep in the minds of
eternity and he was five hundred feet tall! Almost every combatant spoke in unison….
"Hey, whats up Brian?"
"Where the hell have you been?" Elias hollered.
"Well, to be honest man, I was running around the moonsea area when the fuckin
spellplague hit and, uh, well, you know the rest of that story."
"Uh, ok….." Elias shook his head
"When are you all gonna learn?" Manson demanded "Its easy to beat the system,
you all are just having a hard time beating the symptoms, you dig?"
At this everyone appeared equally perplexed especially when a werewolf
appeared upon his shoulder as if it were a familiar. The hound howled at the full moon
above and then whispered into its metal masters ear something it must not have been
aware of. Brian laughed lightly and then gently lifted the beast and placed him on the
hovering battlefield like a chess piece.
"Sorry," he stated "As I recall, Amboog-a-lard broke up a long time ago. It may be
too late for them unless they choose to reunite for themselves. You see, we can not make
that decision for them. Besides, none of you are pawns any longer and I expect each of
you to treat one another with respect as you administer what is rightfully my domain in
the first place. I don't have the time you see and you are all really making too much of a
mess."
The werewolf shape shifted back into human form and everyone gasped to see
Jestin, ex lead guitar player of Hollow kneel on the void surface as if playing an old
LARPG.
"In light of the circumstances," he inquired "you wouldn't mind if I hooked up
with Rose McGowan once I eventually get my shit back together would you? I mean, you
didn't give her HIV or anything did you?"
All the guys shared a laugh, including Brian.
"What?" Jestin looked around as if he didn't get the joke "Whats so funny, it was a
serious question. She's gotta be into some great lesbo stuff right? I gotta get me some of
that!"
And so it came to pass. The Bi Polar Bitchy Brothers of the south florida music
scene all lived happily ever after. And from time to time they all got together, broke out
the weed, a bad ass rock star sized war gaming terrain setup, and played Warhammer 40k.
What a bunch of dweebs!
Is it the end for EVN?
It’s never the end.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EROS4YyHEbI