My Chaotic Life in the Simple Art of Poetry
By: Jacklynn Sutherland
Copyright 2012 by Jacklynn SutherlandMy tears kiss my cheeks,
And lies whisper into my ears,
They fill me with pain and sorrow,
Which way should I turn?
The broken road looks more like home,
The one I have only ever known,
But then I see the face of an angel at the end of the paved road,
The broken road holds you at the end,
So I trip and stumble,
Running towards you,
But I never seem to catch up with you,
It’s like you are running away from me,
I try and scream your name,
But you never turn to face me,
Finally when I catch,
You won’t look me in the eyes,
I turn you around and am faced to stare at an eyeless man,
Where your swirls of brown eyes once were,
Are now black holes?
Your gentle touch is now hard and ruff,
Your beautiful smile that used to make me smile myself,
Now makes me sick and cry,
When I touch your face you scream and cry,
Because where I once touched you is now burned and scolded,
“Jacklynn, you hurt me.” You cry,
What had I done wrong,
When I turn to look towards the paved road I see the angel no more,
“Where did the angel go?” I ask pointing,
“That angel was me,
I ran and ran after you,
I tripped and stumbled along the way,
No matter how close I got,
You just ran away,
The demon caught me,
And turned me into something new,
I can’t bear the touch of angel skin like you,”
So now I will weep,
I only killed my friend,
Because I was tempted by the demons I hold within.
In another room,
Her baby cries,
She tugs and pulls at her hair,
As her baby screams and cries,
He left her all alone,
With a baby to hold,
He looks so much like him,
Brown eyes that hold nothing,
A smile just as bright as his,
A heart just as cold as his father’s,
She looks at her baby and shakes her head in disgust,
How can she look at him?
When he reminds her of her first true love,
She falls to her knees and weep,
Over her first true love,
And her baby that looks so much like him,
She packs her bags,
And bundles up her child,
“Goodbye Jake,
I can’t stand the sight of you,
But know Mommy will always love you.”
Deep endless brown eyes,
A smile that warms your soul,
A voice that has come from the angels,
A personality that catches you at first notice,
Hugs that protect you from harm,
A touch that makes my heart race.
Without him,
I wouldn’t be this strong,
Without him,
I wouldn’t be alive,
Without him,
I wouldn’t be able to know love,
Without him,
I would be broke into a million pieces,
Without him,
Tears and shakes would cover me.
With him,
I have a reason to keep going,
With him,
I have a reason to smile,
With him,
My heart screams for him,
With him,
Tears of happiness flow,
With him,
I can love,
With him,
I long to feel his love.
He is everything I have ever wished for,
He is the boy of my dreams,
He is my soul mate,
But he doesn’t know it,
I am drawn to him,
He is the only reason I am still here,
If he goes,
Then I will die,
If he stops talking to me,
I will cry in pain,
He isn’t my father,
He isn’t my brother,
He isn’t my boyfriend,
He is my first true love,
He is my best friend,
And he goes by,
Chocolate bear.
I’ve waited my whole life for a boy,
A boy to call mine,
I thought I had found him,
But this boy tore me down,
And murdered my heart,
Then I open my eyes and see you,
My best friend,
I’m so sorry I fell in love with you,
This wasn’t part of my grand plan,
I planned to fall in love with Romeo,
The good little boy,
But instead I got you,
You were no where near good,
You were completely against everything I lived for,
But in the end you changed me,
Turned my views to where they only saw you,
I fell in love with you,
Now I’m chasing something that will never be mine,
My heart will wait forever,
Something you don’t get,
I would wait life times for you,
I would do and change anything for you,
I’ll hide this,
But know,
Whenever a girl hurts you,
I could be the one to fix it,
I would never hurt you,
I would love you forever,
But no one seems to get this,
I love my best friend,
More than any best friend should love the other,
My heart aches and longs to be with you,
Even if I know this will never happen.
Just know,
Baby, I love you.
She takes a walk on the dark side of the moon,
Didn’t know what to expect,
She sure didn’t expect to find the love of her live,
But there he stood,
Stole her heart at first glance,
She was the white angel in her parent’s eyes,
He was the demon corrupting their angel,
Ever time the clock struck twelve she took a dive,
Into the dark side of the moon,
He would wait up for hours,
Just to see his white angel beauty,
He was 18,
And she was 16,
She didn’t care about the cops,
Or what her parents said,
She was tumbling in love,
Falling way to fast,
Now as they drag him away from her,
She lets out a cry,
Her love forever in jail,
Just because he fell in love,
With a 16 year old white angel beauty,
One last kiss she pleads,
So she can go on,
One last kiss was all she asked,
So she would have reason for life,
Knowing her love would wait,
One last kiss,
She said drawing in her last breath,
As she carved,
One last kiss.
How much more heartbreak can my heart hold?
When will the make shift bandages rip open?
And the screams escape,
I will ask you this once,
Then be on my way,
Why?
Why do you love her?
Why do you love her more than me?
Don’t give me the history on how you two fell so in love,
Like how much I love you but times ten,
I want to know why!
Why she will hold your heart?
And you grasp mine so tight,
Without even knowing,
Tell me this one thing,
So I can bottle everything up again,
Tell me why!
You love her so much,
And I love you more than she ever could,
My heart broken,
The glue won’t hold,
If you answer why,
Maybe someday.
My heart will be able to get by.
Loving couples,
And perfect homes,
Is a place my heart doesn’t know.
Screaming families,
Broken homes,
Lost souls,
And falling relationships,
Is the only place my heart knows.
Painful tears,
Pain filled cries,
Trembling eyes,
And a broken heart,
Is this only place my heart will ever know?
You scream at me,
And I cringe away,
You smack me.
And I run away,
As tears flow down my eyes,
I remember his face,
Maybe someday my life will fall into place.
I run far away,
Into Wonderland,
A place I can fall,
And tumble into,
Knights a marching,
Mad Hatter a scheming,
White rabbit a ticking,
Red queen a chopping,
And Alice a dancing,
This place seems more like home,
Maybe a place where I belong,
Maybe everyone,
I belong….
In Wonderland.
These walls built so high up,
I never thought someone could break them down,
I chained and locked my heart away,
In a cold place,
Away from the warmth of love,
But look at you,
I never knew,
That you could make these walls tumble down,
You made me believe,
You gave me life and reason,
Now I’m falling way to fast,
Tumbling into yesterday’s pain,
These memories I cannot shake,