The Dunes in Winter
By Kate Everson
Smashwords edition
Copyright 2012 Kate Everson
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I have come to the dunes in winter to find my soul.
How could I have lost it? I had it once. It was here, among the sandy dunes I had traced my bare footprints backwards and came to my Self.
But now, shrouded in snow, there was no evidence of that. I was lost. Again.
Everywhere, the dunes hid my lost soul. I wanted to shout out to them, “Give it back!”
But who would answer?
There in the soulless dunes, I had to find it myself.
The wind rippled the snow, piling it high in places and low in others. The weeds clung to it. The old turtle nests hid it in their empty burrows, waiting for another hopeful spring. I took off my boots and set them amongst the drifts, and waited too.
Soon spring would come, but would it be too late? Would they find my carcass bleaching among the turtle bones of empty nests?
Could nature be so cruel to me too?
There was no answer in the wind, or in the snow that kept piling up in places I could not go. I laid down my head and wept.
How long I lay there I do not know. I only know that the boots were buried and my soul with it. Oh, how I longed for spring! The warmth of the sun would heal me, I knew that. But now, it was so far away. I did not think I would live that long.
I cried.
I cried for me and all the soulless people in the world. The wind swept over me and did not care.
Only the weeds sticking out of the snow felt my grief.
They remembered spring. But in each seed, they held the memory … and the hope.
That is what I needed so desperately now. A glimmer of hope.
But no birds flew in that gray wintery sky. No call of a gull reached out to me. There were no robins, and I had forgotten spring.
“Where is my salvation now?” I cried to the empty soulless sky. “Where is the Messiah when I need him most?”
A gull cried out.
I looked up and saw it winging high in the sky, flying with the wind, catching the currents and riding them like a sailor on a perfect craft. It peered down at me, then went on to the lake to find sustenance, a morsel.
I needed a morsel too. Some manna from heaven, some holy bread, something to feed my soul. But in this stark place, there was nothing to eat, and I was starving within.
I looked up at the bare trees and tried to find some meaning there. They reached out to the sky, helpless too.
But in their roots, I knew, they were waiting. They had a storehouse of energy, a soul just waiting to come out and show itself. When spring came they would reach out in a frenzy to catch the rays of the sun, to feel the rain pour down into their thirsty roots, and be born again.
Would I be saved too?
It was a long shot. So many days until I would know. Spring was forever away. Or at least so it seemed. I was thirsty now. I craved the blessing of the Sun, the nurturing of the Mother, the overwhelming presence of the Sky God.
Yet all I felt was emptiness.
I emptied my boots of snow, and began to walk the dunes. I searched for answers. There was no manna here, but maybe there was something else. A clue. It was all I could hope for.
The trees reached out to me, their long barren limbs in a way comforting. I felt they knew me, knew my soul. They felt my pain. In their emptiness, they understood.
I stood and watched the sky, waiting for a sign.
Would there be a second coming? Would God appear?
I did not know God. But did he know me? Would he show me the Way? Or was it all a big mistake, an illusion perpetuated by the church. Doubt destroyed my soul. I needed an answer now. Death by soullessness was unbearable.
It was then that I saw the clouds move across the bare trees branches, high in the sky. They moved towards the sun, making a pattern of waves like on a sandy beach. I gasped. Was this the sign? Did God exist?
The trees reached out to it. The sun blazed in the sky. Ripples of clouds formed along the whole skyline and greeted me with a kiss. I felt blessed.
I lifted up my eyes and saw Truth.
If this was not God, then what was?
I felt my soul leap for joy. I was alive! The world was mine now. I could conquer anything, any pain, any suffering, because I had my soul in me fighting for my life. The victory was mine.
In gratitude I bowed down in the snowy dunes and lifted my arms to the sky. I was alive and well, and my soul lived.
It seemed then that everywhere I looked resonated with that joy. Even a tiny grapevine curling among the bushes seemed a miracle.
It reached my heart and touched me there. I felt its passion for life. No matter what the circumstances, it would survive. It would bear all, holding in its essence the soul of life. It was me. I was it. We were.
At last, I left the dunes. I had got what I came for. My soul had been revived, not dead after all, but just in some deep slumber. I did not have to wait for spring and the first buds to awaken. I was awake now. Even in winter.
I walked to the lake and felt the sun on my face. I looked up, smiling at it. The glorious rays reflected my joy within.
Here along the shore line, I found more evidence, if any was needed, that the soul of man lives and prospers in the light of God. Everywhere.
I did not even have to say the word God, but felt it in my heart instead. I felt its grace upon my upturned face, shining, joyful, at peace.
I walked along the water’s edge and could not stop smiling.
“The Light is mine and I am in the Light,” I said.
Stretching out my arms to the sky, I thanked God for remembering me. In joy, he showed me thousands of crystal ice formed along the shore, each one reflecting the brilliant sun. It was a treasure of light. I lifted them up in my hands and felt the blessing that would never end.
The Light is in all, the Light is all, there is nothing but Light.
I am but a crystal along the shore. I am a crystal reflecting the Sun.
The Sun feeds my soul and I am glad. There is no more winter, only joy. No more waiting for spring, but reflecting now on the perfection that is forever present.
God cares for us.
There is limitless peace.
The End
Read more inspirational stories at: Listening to the Light.