In the Spotlight
By Liz Botts
Smashwords Edition
Copyright © 2011 LIZ BOTTS
Published by Astraea Press
www.astraeapress.com
This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters, and events are fictitious in every regard. Any similarities to actual events and persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Any trademarks, service marks, product names, or named features are assumed to be the property of their respective owners, and are used only for reference. There is no implied endorsement if any of these terms are used. Except for review purposes, the reproduction of this book in whole or part, electronically or mechanically, constitutes a copyright violation.
IN THE SPOTLIGHT
Copyright © 2011 LIZ BOTTS
ISBN 978-1-936852-35-2
Cover Art Designed By Elaina Lee
Edited By J.D. Jordan and Audrey Jamison
To Bob, Owen, Elijah, and Adelaide. You are my inspiration.
Chapter One
"Look out!"
I was drawn out of my Kyle and Claudia contemplation just in time to see a basketball hurtling toward my head. Well, a basketball and Josh Larson. Josh knocked the ball away just as it was about to make contact and landed hard on the bleacher in front of me, wincing in pain.
"Oh my gosh!" Claudia jumped to her feet. "Josh! Are you okay? That was so brave."
I stared at him mutely as he glanced up at me. There wasn't a chance to say anything anyway because his coach rushed over and helped him up and down to the court as a smattering of applause began to trickle through the crowd.
"That was so amazing," Claudia said, eyes wide. "Can you believe that Josh Larson totally just saved you from a grotesque injury that totally would have prevented you from trying out for the play? I mean, it's totally like he's your knight in shining armor."
Nothing seemed to be penetrating my skull at that moment. I gazed from Josh to Claudia and could only wonder why Claudia was still talking. I mouthed "thank you" to the back of Josh's head. I hoped he heard my thoughts through telepathy or something.
My train of thought had effectively derailed. I sat mutely staring at the action on the court, nodding at whatever Claudia blathered about, and tried to remember why I had wanted to come to the game in the first place. When the half time buzzer finally sounded, I almost groaned with a mixture of relief and annoyance. I still had half a game to get through, and I wasn't sure I could handle more of Claudia chattering in my ear.
"Hey, Claud, listen, I'm going to, um, run to the bathroom real quick," I said, interrupting her stream of conscious rambling. "I want to be back to watch my sister perform."
Claudia nodded. "You're so lucky to have a sister with so much talent and school spirit. You must be so proud of her."
The hallway outside the gym was a little quieter than the deafening roar inside, but with all the people milling about it was incredibly hot and sticky. I decided to head down to the music hallway for a little peace and quiet. I'd run into Maggie down there anyway. Half the band had run back toward the band room as soon as the buzzer sounded to do who knows what. They had to be back by the time the cheerleaders performed. They were the accompaniment after all.
Ever since my drama teacher, Ms. Bard, had announced that the object of my affection, Kyle, had written this year's spring musical, my heart had been in overdrive. Finally, I saw a way to get Kyle to notice me beyond just as a drama club friend.
I was almost to the band room door when I heard someone call my name. I was pleased to see Kyle jogging toward me, a gorgeous half smile on his face.
"I've been looking all over for you," he said.
"You have?" I replied, my heart doing a strange fluttering thing in my chest.
Kyle nodded, getting quite serious. "I have," he repeated. "I didn't want to say anything in front of Claudia, but I really think you should audition for Kelly's little sister. It would be great training for you to have the lead next year."
My heart stopped fluttering and plunged straight into my stomach. "Oh?" I said, hoping that my voice was steady. "Actually I was thinking about auditioning for Kelly myself."
I was? Where had that come from? The words had popped out unbidden, but now that they were out, I didn't want to take them back because they were true.
Kyle reached out and began twirling a strand of my hair around his thumb. "Oh, come on, Hanns, you know a junior will never get the lead."
"I know that," I said, my voice a whisper, "but it can't hurt to try. Besides I think that would be good practice for next year."
Kyle rolled the strand all the way up to my scalp and tugged me closer to him. I think he meant it to be sexy, but it sort of hurt. I couldn't help but flinch. "Hannah, Hannah, Hannah. It's great that you're that committed and all, but don't you think it'll just be a big waste of time? And a big disappointment?"
I forced myself to focus on the fact that Kyle was putting me down and not on the fact that we were standing six inches apart and he smelled completely amazing, but it wasn't easy as Kyle's fingers worked their way onto my scalp. He sort of had hold of my head now, it wasn't entirely unwelcome either. He shook me gently as if to get me to reply.
"I guess you're right. I don't really want to waste everyone's time or anything. Would you…um…would you help me get ready for the audition?" I swallowed the lump in my throat.
"If you want," Kyle grinned, releasing my hair. "You'll make an awesome supporting role for Kelly."
I actually had to lean against the wall as I watched him walk away. What had just happened here? My brain clicked slowly through the conversation trying to pinpoint what I had agreed to, and more importantly, what I had actually decided. I refused to be the girl who gave in to some guy's pressure no matter how small the demand. Just because I said I would do anything to get Kyle to notice me/like me/want me/take me/date me, that didn't mean I intended to give up on myself the second he showed interest in me.
And yet, that's exactly what I'd just done. Kyle touched me and I gave in to what he wanted within thirty seconds. That didn't bode well for me if we ever were to date. As band kids flooded the hallway, my senses kicked back in, as did my resolve. I was going to audition for Kelly. Once Kyle saw how awesome I was at the audition, he'd forgive me for my little deception.
Maggie caught up with me and started chattering about the newest band geek love triangle as we headed back to the gym.
I scanned the bleachers for Claudia when we got back in the gym. Not because I wanted to sit with her, but because I didn't want to sit by myself. When I finally located her, I wished I hadn't because she was standing entirely too close to Kyle, giggling at something.
Instead of subjecting myself to another disgusting and humiliating witness of Claudia's flirtatiousness, I settled myself near Maggie's section of the band. The musicians started to queue up for the cheerleaders' entrance, and I felt a strange tickle of satisfaction knowing that Kyle had to get back to his section, leaving Claudia all by her lonesome.
The music began as the cheerleaders exploded onto the court. I tried to concentrate so that I could congratulate Hayley on a job well done later, but cheerleading isn't my thing, so my attention wandered. As I looked across the crowd, I wasn't surprised to see most eyes trained on the girls on the floor, but when my gaze ran straight into another pair of eyes, I think I almost gasped out loud. I hadn't been expecting anyone else to be looking back at me, and even more shocking was that it was Josh Larson.
And even if he did have some seriously pretty eyes, I thought Hayley said he was dating, or at least hooking up with, one or two of the girls on the cheerleading squad. I mean, shouldn't he have been paying more attention to them or something. Instead of looking around the gym and making girls like me squirm. I finally had to look away. Forcing my attention back to the gym floor, I decided to set about planning how to get Kyle to approve of my Kelly audition without telling him what I was planning.
The rest of the game passed in a blur as I tried to sort through various scenarios in which Kyle was so impressed with my audition that he asked me to prom on the spot. Not that getting asked to prom was that big a deal to me or anything, but I couldn't imagine anything more amazing than getting asked to prom in front of the whole drama club. By Kyle nonetheless. In my fantasy, Kyle jumped up on stage after my audition and declared it the best thing he'd ever seen. Then with amazement still shining in his eyes, Kyle dropped down on one knee and asked me to be his date at prom. Every girl in the auditorium would be green with envy, and I would swoon and say yes, of course.
Granted my fantasy was a slight blur of a marriage proposal, but being asked to prom was the next best thing in our school. People put so much emphasis on prom and asking/being asked in the most creative way possible that you'd think we were straight from some cheesy teen movie where all the students know the exact same dance at the party. And they all look really amazing even when they're supposed to be geeky and ugly.
"Earth to zombie girl." Hayley was calling to me by the time I emerged from my daze. She looked supremely annoyed, what with the crossed arms and perpetual scowl. It was hard to believe she was pretty under all that grouchiness.
We trudged to the car in silence, shivering against the biting January wind. My car took its own sluggish time turning on, and no matter how high we turned the heat up, only cold air blew at us through the vents.
"This car is a piece of crap," Hayley said, adding a few choice words as a shudder rolled through the car.
"Hayley!" I snapped. "Language."
"Oh whatever," Hayley rolled her eyes. "Like you never swear. Whatever."
Lapsing back into silence, I wracked my brain for something to say, figuring conversation would take our minds off the cold. "Hey, you were really good tonight," I said. "It seemed like everyone was really in to it. The crowd, I mean. You guys are always really in to it."
Gosh, I was saying really a lot.
Hayley crossed her arms, whether out of annoyance or cold I couldn't be sure. Glancing at me she said, "Thanks. It turned out okay I guess. Becky can never remember her moves. She just ticks me off so much."
"That's too bad," I replied, hoping I sounded somewhat sympathetic. In all honesty, I couldn't remember who Becky was, nor had I noticed anyone forgetting their moves.
Hayley shrugged. "Whatever. She just sucks, that's all. I think Mike is going to ask me to prom."
I nearly hit the car in front of me. "Are you kidding?"
"No," Hayley said, drawing patterns in the frost on the window. "Why would I be kidding?"
"Um, no offense but why would Mike ask you to prom?" I said, easing off the brake. "You're only a freshman."
"Duh, I'm aware of that fact," Hayley said. "But there's no rule that says a freshman can't go if an upperclassman asks her."
A thick moment of silence dropped between us. "Did, um, Mike tell you he was going to ask you?"
I peeked at Hayley just in time to see her shake her head in disgust. "We've only been dating for like the past two months. Where have you been? Why wouldn't he ask me?"
She had a point, of course. She and Mike were practically attached at the hip. But come on, the guy was a senior. It was his last chance to have a really great prom, and there was no way Hayley would be a fun prom date. She'd no doubt make him wear a pink cummerbund or something equally outrageous. Ugh, what if she made him wear a pink shirt? I just couldn't see Mike, who hung out with all the theater kids because he was a major tech geek who loved building scenery and such, enjoying that type of thing. I'd never quite understood what he saw in my baby sister, and I just didn't see how he'd follow through asking her to prom.
"Do you think he'll do something big?" I asked because I couldn't think of anything else to say.
"He better," Hayley said. "Everyone knows the bigger the better. I'm hoping he does something at a game."
Hayley ended the conversation at that point by flipping on the car radio. She cruised through a bunch of stations before deciding on one that was playing a drippy love song. Settling back in her seat, she gazed out into the frosty night and sighed contentedly. I tried not to focus on the little nips of jealousy crossing my path.
Chapter Two
The next day in drama class, Ms. Bard had us arrange our desks in a circle so we could discuss our reactions to the script. These were our premiere reactions, and they would guide our feelings about the show. Ms. Bard's words, of course. We did this every year, and it had yet to guide my feelings about a show. Then again the love of my life had never written our show either.
"So what did you think of Kyle's script?" Ms. Bard asked. "How did you feel about the soundtrack once you had a chance to listen to it?"
No one said anything. I caught Kaylee's eye and we squirmed. It was only a matter of time before Ms. Bard called on someone. The problem was no one wanted to say anything in front of Kyle.
Finally, a girl named Megan, who usually did tech things like building sets, running lights, and handling props, raised her hand. "I thought the script was really good. Um. But the sets seemed kind of sparse. Is that the point? Is this some minimalist thing?"
"Good question," Ms. Bard said, nodding approvingly. "Let's ask the playwright. Kyle?"
Kyle leaned forward in his desk, a strand of his floppy blond hair falling forward over his glasses. He regarded Megan seriously. "I wanted to leave the sets open to interpretation. My goal with this show is that after our initial performance, other schools will be able to purchase performance rights. I didn't want to hinder the market for the play by using too narrow a definition of sets. Does that make sense?"
Megan nodded as if she was in awe of his brilliance. I waited for the sweep of jealousy that usually coursed through me when other girls made their adoration of Kyle known, but instead I only felt a cringe at Kyle's blatant condescension. What was wrong with me? I had waited years to get noticed by Kyle. Literally. And he'd noticed me last night.
When I got home from the game, I went to bed almost immediately, leaving much of my homework undone for study hall the next morning. Even when I climbed into bed, I laid awake for hours feeling unsettled. I kept coming back to two moments in the evening. Josh Larson swatting the ball away from my head and Kyle pulling my hair.
Ms. Bard beamed at Kyle. "What a wonderful explanation. Thank you. Now, come on class, we want to have a discussion here. And for a discussion we must have participation."
Adam, Kyle's sometime best friend, raised his hand. "I did some research on the soundtrack, and I was wondering why two of the songs are from the 90s not the 80s like you originally said."
He laid the words down in front of Kyle like a challenge. Oops. They must have had one of their famous fights. Some people called them lover's spats because their relationship was so volatile. And that would be totally cool. I could handle it even with my intense feelings for Kyle, but I had it on good authority that both Adam and Kyle liked girls. Another theory about their on again off again friendship was that because their mothers had been friends forever, they encouraged their sons to compete. Either way you looked at it, the reality was that when they were best friends, Adam was almost like Kyle's gatekeeper. You couldn't get near Kyle without going through Adam first. But when they were on the outs, you wanted to stay away from both of them.
Kyle clenched his fists on top of his desk. "I was wondering when someone would point that out. You'll remember, though, that I never claimed all the songs were from the 1980s. I simply said that they were all underappreciated songs from an underappreciated era of music."
"I'm sorry to interrupt," Kaylee said without raising her hand. "You keep saying that these songs are all underappreciated, but I totally disagree with you. I mean, you have Michael Jackson's 'Billie Jean' in there. How can you honestly say that's an underappreciated song?"
I gaped at Kaylee. How could she humiliate Kyle like that? She caught me staring at her, and rolled her eyes. She mouthed something like, 'You know I'm right'.
Kyle stared at her for a moment like he couldn't believe that she would challenge him either. He took a deep breath and said, "I would never try to make you believe that an artist like Michael Jackson or Madonna is underappreciated, but overall I think that the 80s is a very underappreciated time in music history."
Ms. Bard's smile broadened "Now this is the kind of discussion I love," she said, clapping her hands together. "Differing opinions will be heard in my classroom! Kyle, I'd like to commend you once again for taking such a huge risk trying to get the performance rights to all of these songs. You have far exceeded the expectations for a senior project with this."
"Thank you, Ms. Bard," Kyle said. Then he added, "I can only hope that you'll do my work justice."
I squirmed at Kyle's veiled rudeness to Ms. Bard. What was wrong with me? Why was I now so aware of Kyle's not so nice traits? Thankfully I didn't have long to ponder it because the bell rang, releasing us to lunch.
The hallway was thick with people, so waiting for Kaylee was almost out of the question. I'd just catch up with her at our table. Suddenly someone grabbed my elbow and steered me to the side of the hall. As I stopped, my heart danced because I was looking up into Kyle's face.
Dropping his head down, Kyle said, "Let's go down to the choir room and get that rehearsal in for the audition."
I followed Kyle to the music wing. My brain couldn't quite process what was happening. The choir room would be deserted until after lunch, so we'd be alone. Instead of feeling over the moon about being alone with Kyle, I felt more nervous than anything else. I wanted to run and at least tell someone so they could reassure me that it would be great.
The choir room was hot like always. On a good day, you'd leave choir with only slightly damp armpits. On bad days, you'd leave with rivulets of sweat running down your face into all the nooks and crannies that you didn't want to think about. Not exactly the place I pictured having my first real alone encounter with Kyle, but I'd take what I could get. The band teacher kept insisting that soon they were getting an air conditioning unit in here. That would be the day.
"Now, did you think about what I said last night?" Kyle asked, leaning enticingly against the piano. I loved the way his pale blue sweater hugged his rangy frame, ending just at the waistband of his faded jeans. And what wasn't to love about the fact that he wore loafers. Loafers. It seemed so 1950 to me for some reason. As did the horn-rimmed glasses that he wore to make himself look intellectual and brooding. The only thing that ruined his brooding look was his blond hair. I'm not sure it's entirely possible to look brooding when you're blond, but maybe I'm just biased.
"Umm…maybe you could refresh my memory," I said, stalling. Because, duh, of course I'd been thinking about what he'd said, and I'd decided to try out for Kelly, the lead. And that wasn't something I was willing to tell Kyle.
Kyle gave me a smile that I'd never seen before from any guy, and I realized that he thought I was flirting with him. My breath caught. Me, flirting. Holy cow! I'd been fidgeting near a music stand, and after I made my comment, Kyle sauntered over to me, placing his hands near mine on the top of the music stand.
"You little minx," he smiled. "I didn't think you had it in you. Maybe you aren't quite as wholesome as everyone thinks."
I stared at him in confusion because I had no idea what to say, and my mouth was far too dry for me to speak. Had he just called me a minx? And what did my being wholesome have to do with anything?
Kyle reached out and ran his hands along my shoulders. The gesture felt possessive somehow, and I wanted to take a step back. "Let me teach you," Kyle said suggestively. I mean, the tone of his voice was suggestive, not particularly what he said, but it confused me anyway.
Needing to breathe, I took a step back and moved toward the piano. "That's a great idea," I said. "What song should I sing for my audition?"
"Oh, we aren't anywhere near ready to think about that yet." Kyle ran a hand along my forearm. "I need to teach you technique first. Are you willing to learn at my hands?"
I squirmed at the tone of his voice again. Somehow I think he thought he sounded sexy, but he sounded creepy. Without waiting for my response, Kyle took my elbow and guided me to the piano. Placing his hand on my abdomen, dangerously close to inappropriateness, he said, "You breathe from here."
Something in his tone ticked me off, and I stepped away from him. "I know how to breathe, Kyle. I've been singing since I was seven."
"Of course you have," Kyle said with a laugh. "But if you want lessons from me, you have to submit yourself to me completely."
I wasn't sure that sounded good. Suddenly I just wanted to go eat my lunch. "Listen, Kyle, thank you so much for using your free time to give me this attention, but I really need to go eat something."
"Are you hypoglycemic?" Kyle asked. "My grandma totally is."
I think he was trying to be understanding, but it didn't make sense to me, so I just used it as my escape. Grabbing my stuff, I practically ran to the lunchroom feeling even more unsettled than before. Kyle was finally noticing me, so why wasn't I happier?
Chapter Three
"I want you girls to be nice to Grandma's boyfriend tonight," Mom said, wiping her hands on a dishtowel.
I glanced at Hayley as she set a water glass at each place. She returned my gaze and shrugged. Picking up a stack of plates, I said, "Sure, Mom. Why wouldn't we be?"
Mom came into the dining room from the kitchen and leaned against the doorframe. She hesitated and then said, "It's just that Grandma's boyfriend is a bit younger than her."
"So?" I asked.
"How much younger?" Hayley wanted to know.
"He's twenty-seven," Mom admitted.
My jaw dropped. I was acutely aware of it hitting the ground as I did the math in my head. Grandma had Mom when she was seventeen. Mom was forty, so that made Grandma fifty-seven. "She's thirty years older than him," I gasped.
"Wow, Grandma's a cougar," Hayley murmured, a weird streak of awe in her voice.
Mom grimaced. "Don't use that term, please. It sounds so crass."
I watched Mom head back into the kitchen, her shoulders slumped slightly, like she was bothered by tonight's dinner. But it was for her mom, so what could she do? Hayley and I glanced at each other not sure what to say or how to say it. I honestly wasn't sure how I felt about my grandmother dating a guy barely ten years older than me. On one hand, Grandma deserved to have fun and be happy. She'd raised Mom alone, sometimes working two or three jobs to give Mom the best life possible. Still…on the other hand, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy that my grandma had a hot young boyfriend and I certainly didn't. Is it even okay to be jealous of your grandma?
Finishing setting the table came as something of a relief as I could escape to my room for a bit before dinner. The musical script lay untouched on my desk where I had tossed it the day before. After Claudia's little reveal at the basketball game, I'd completely forgotten to finish Ms. Bard's assignment. Thankfully, our special assembly celebrating diversity in cafeteria choices had saved me from having to admit to being unprepared in class. Besides, everyone else's analysis of the soundtrack had diverted most of the discussion away from the script.
Uploading the soundtrack to my iPod, I flipped through the script, trying to concentrate on the bit part of the younger sister. I barely got past the first page when I realized how insulted I should have been. In the stage directions, Kyle had written a description of Tiffany, the younger sister. It read: Tiffany is the exact opposite of Kelly. Where Kelly is beautiful, vivacious, and outgoing, Tiffany is homely, awkward, and shy. She sets the stage for Kelly's brilliance by being a miserable presence.
First of all, what did that even mean? Secondly, hadn't Kyle said that I would be perfect for the role of Kelly's younger sister? I was beyond insulted, and I couldn't believe Kyle actually thought that about me. Maybe he just thought I was a good enough actress to pull off such a difficult role. That made me feel a little better, but then the nagging doubts crept in as they tended to do. The more I read the script, the more I saw myself as Tiffany. Kelly reminded me of my older sister Harlow, without a doubt, and there I was, the less talented little sister lending my miserable existence to set up her brilliant life.
My parents had known before Harlow was even born that she would be a star. They bought her a tiny director's chair to park her baby booty in. And they named her after Jean Harlow, the original platinum blonde.
I was still mulling over the script when Mom called us to dinner. Hayley giggled all the way down the stairs. I tried to shush her, but by the time we got to the table, we were both laughing too hard to even breathe. Our grandma was a cougar. Seriously, how could anyone not find that hilarious?
Luckily, Grandma and her boyfriend weren't there yet, so Hayley and I had a few minutes to collect ourselves.
"Girls, I want you to remember that this is important to Mom," Dad lectured us, mock sternly. "Be nice."
"Daddy," Hayley replied, opening her pretty blue eyes in wide innocence, "we're always nice."
Dad burst out laughing and was still chuckling as he went to open the door when the doorbell rang. Hayley and I were actually bouncing in our seats we were so excited to meet Grandma's boyfriend. This would make for great stories tomorrow at school.
I could hear Dad using his booming guest voice, the one he thinks sounds "jovial". Totally his word for it, not mine. Mom came into the dining room with a plate of something small that I guessed was supposed to be appetizers, or at least I hoped so because I was starving. She kept running her fingers through her hair and tugging on her blouse, and that's when I realized that my mom, the high brow professor recently promoted to Dean of her department at the university, was nervous. Grandma and Grandpa had been divorced since Mom was two, and I couldn't remember Grandma ever having a boyfriend for more than a week. So as funny as it all seemed, it was a big deal.
"Mom, you look great," I said, softly. She gave me a hesitant, befuddled smile, and headed back in to the kitchen. "I think she's nervous," I whispered to Hayley, who nodded in agreement.
Dad led Grandma and a young man, who was, I have to be honest, super hot, to the table. "Girls, I'd like you to meet Duke, Grandma's friend."
"Oh, Chuck," Grandma said, swatting Dad's arm. "Girls, Duke is my boyfriend. Let's get it all out in the open. We've been dating for five months. Why beat around the bush? We all know he's younger than me, but I think that's doing me a world of good."
Grandma gave Duke's butt a nice pat, and I had to look away, embarrassed. Then she headed into the kitchen to help Mom. Dad took Duke's coat and went to hang it up, leaving me and Hayley alone to entertain Duke.
"Your Grandma's hot," Duke commented as he sat down across the table from us. Hayley made a weird noise, and I wasn't sure how to respond, so an awkward silence descended on the table.
Finally, Hayley said, "So, um, Duke's an interesting name. How'd you get that one?"
"My parents had a dog named Duke when they first got married. They named me after him," Duke smiled proudly.
Hayley and I exchanged glances, trying hard not to laugh. "Wow, that's special," Hayley said, covering her giggle with a faux cough.
Duke burst out laughing. "I can't believe you fell for that!"
"So your parents didn't name you after a dog?" I asked, just for clarification's sake, of course.
"Of course not," Duke said, still chuckling. "Both of my parents went to Duke University, so they thought it would be a fitting tribute to the place where they met."
"That's a better story," Hayley said. She tipped her chair back on two legs and gazed at Duke thoughtfully.
"Hey, where's the john?" Duke asked. "I want to freshen up for Wanda."
"Down the hall, second door on the right," I said.
When Duke was well out of ear shot, Hayley grabbed an appetizer, and said, "He's hot, but dumb as a post."
"No kidding." I stood up and began rearranging the silverware.
"I'm not sure I can take a whole meal of him telling us that Grandma is hot or Grandma being all touchy feely." Hayley shuddered.
"Me either," I agreed. "But remember what Dad said, this is important to Mom."
"Girls, could you help me?" Mom called from the kitchen.
"Sure, be there in a second," I grinned at Hayley. "Are we going to do the Interrogation?"
"Absolutely." She grinned back.
The Interrogation was something we'd come up with when we were younger to get through some of the interminable dinners with Grandma's boyfriends. Grandpa had remarried shortly after the divorce and we called our step-grandmother, Moomaw because she really liked collecting cows. We saw Grandpa and Moomaw twice a year, on Groundhog's Day and for the Summer solstice. Grandma had never remarried. She dated. As a serial dater, Grandma had a new boyfriend every few months. Most of them were professional, older gentlemen who liked to pull quarters from behind our ears. So the Interrogation became our way to liven things up.
"Here," Mom said, thrusting a bowl of salad into my arms. "Put this on the table."
I rummaged around in the utensil drawer until I found the salad tongs, and then headed back into the dining room where Hayley had been sent to fill the water glasses. We didn't eat like this often. Usually Dad, Mom, and Hayley or I ate a quick meal at the kitchen table because we were all so busy. Sometimes when Mom was teaching a class or Dad was working late at the library, Hayley and I just nuked a frozen dinner and ate in front of the TV, much to the chagrin of both of our parents.
Mom's position as dean of the History Department and Dad's position as head of the university library did mean there were fancy dinners at our house several times a year, but Hayley and I weren't expected to attend those. Grandma dinners were different for obvious reasons. And as much as I loved Grandma, I rarely loved her boyfriends. The one exception had been Martin. She dated him when I was nine or ten. He was a set designer for a theater company in Chicago. When he found out that Harlow and I were interested in theater, he arranged to take us backstage during a show. It was the coolest experience of my young life and had cemented my love of theater. My heart had broken when Grandma dumped him for a line cook named Al.
Duke and Grandma scooted their chairs together so that there was literally no space between them. Her hand was under the table in parts unknown. Hayley leaned over and whispered, "This reminds me of that scene from Wedding Crashers."
"Ew," I whispered back.
"So, girls, do you have boyfriends?" Grandma asked before dinner even started.
"I do," Hayley replied brightly. "His name is Mike. He's dreamy."
"Dreamy, eh? You should find yourself a nice young stud, Hayley," Grandma advised. "Dreamy doesn't get you anywhere."
Hayley frowned. "But I really like him, Grandma. He's funny and hot."
"But you're a cheerleader, Hayley," Grandma said. Geez, she was persistent. "You should be with someone of your caliber."
"What teen movie are you living in, Grandma?" Hayley laughed. "Mike is awesome. Mind your own business."
"Hayley! Don't talk to your grandmother that way." Mom brought in the lasagna and set it on the table.
"Sorry, Grandma," Hayley said, stuffing a dinner roll in her mouth.
"What about you, Hannah?" Grandma asked.
"Not currently. I'm trying out for the lead in the musical, though."
Hmmm…apparently, I had made up my mind. Grandma barely registered that news, she was stuck on the fact that I didn't have a boyfriend. I could just tell.
"I think you should focus on more important things," Grandma said. "Theater isn't really your strength anyway, love muffin. That's Harlow's thing. You need to find a boyfriend and get you some lovin'. You're far too serious."
What could I say to that? I grabbed a dinner roll to stuff into my mouth. Mom dished out the lasagna and everyone dug in. Dad began talking about a book he was reading. About halfway through the meal, I nudged Hayley with my foot.
"So, Duke," she began. "Where do you work?"
Duke grinned, happy to talk about himself. He was going to be such an easy target for the Interrogation. "I'm the assistant manager over at the Sugar Bomb."
I nearly choked on the pop I'd just taken a sip of. "The strip club?"
"Well, we prefer to call it a gentleman's club," Duke explained, "but yup, that's the one."
"Oh dear," Mom murmured and looked at Dad.
"Well, where did you and Grandma meet?" Hayley persisted with the Interrogation.
Duke shoveled a healthy portion of lasagna in his mouth and swallowed audibly. "Oh, we met at the Sugar Bomb. Wanda was in for Amateur Night, and it was love at first sight."
"Mother!" Mom gasped.
"Oh, Becky," Grandma sighed, "you always were such a prude."
Duke's revelation stunned Hayley and I into silence and temporarily derailed the Interrogation. Finally, I recovered enough to continue. "What's your family like?" That seemed like a safe subject.
Duke picked something out of his teeth with his pinky finger. Charming. "Well, my mom designs lingerie for plus sized women. She sells it on Etsy. You'd be amazed at what a big market that is," Duke grinned at his pun. "My dad sells used vacuum cleaners."
"Is there a market for that?" Dad asked politely.
"Not really." Duke shrugged.
"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" Mom asked, still trying to recover from the Sugar Bomb bomb.
"One of each," Duke said. "Birmingham works for the Union Pacific railroad, and Millie is still in college."
"Birmingham is certainly an interesting name," Dad commented.
Duke took a long swig of his root beer and nodded. "Mom and Dad believed in giving us really meaningful names," he said. "I'm named after the university they met at. Mom grew up in Birmingham and Dad grew up in Milwaukee."
Hayley and I exchanged glances. We had never ended an Interrogation so quickly, but I wasn't sure we could take anymore of this getting to know you stuff with Duke. I cleared my throat. "So, um, Mom, do you need any help with dessert?"
Mom looked immensely relieved to have a reason to get up. "No, thank you, sweetheart. Does everyone want some ice cream with their apple strudel?"
Everyone agreed and the rest of dinner passed without incident or further embarrassing revelations. One thing was for certain, we hadn't seen the last of Duke. He was a current fixture in Grandma's life for the time being.
Chapter Four
A few days later Maggie convinced me to go to another basketball game, this one after school. Kaylee promised to join us after she had a meeting about costumes for the show. The seamstress, Mrs. Colter, loved to do preliminary sketches of the costumes as soon as she got the new script. I knew Kaylee wouldn't make an appearance at the game, so my choices of seating partners were limited once again.
Claudia found me within seconds of the opening buzzer. "Can you believe that Josh can't play today?"
I found myself scanning the bench for him. "Why can't he play?" I asked.
"Duh!" Claudia said. "He got injured when he saved you."
"Oh," I said as my eyes landed on Josh. My stomach twisted as I saw the walking boot on his left leg.
Claudia sighed again. "I heard that Josh is dating that skank Belle Jacobs."
Hearing Claudia refer to anyone as a skank made me want to laugh, but instead I said, "She's a cheerleader, right?"
"Yes," Claudia said. "I've heard that the only reason he's dating her is that she's easy."
I didn't know what to say to that. I mean, Josh's dating life was his business, of course, but I loved hearing gossip about someone so seemingly perfect. And hearing it all from Claudia made me giddy for some reason.
"Hey, who are we talking about?" Maggie bounced over from her section in the band, surprising me and Claudia.
"Josh Larson," Claudia said in a confidential tone of voice.
"Ohhh, what's the dish?" Maggie asked, perking up at the promise of gossip.
Claudia glanced around, making sure that no one could overhear her in the deafening roar of cheering in the gym. "Well," she started. "I heard that Josh is dating Belle Jacobs." She paused for dramatic effect. "Because she's easy."
Maggie gasped. "How can you besmirch his good name that way?" Then she laughed. "Everyone dates Belle Jacobs because she's easy."
"Guys, seriously, we shouldn't be talking about this. It's just so…so crass." I squirmed, my eyes finding Josh again. He looked like he was enjoying himself, even confined to the bench. It made me feel odd to think that I'd caused him to be sidelined. And yet, he still seemed to be contributing to the team.
"Crass? Geez you sound like my mother," Claudia rolled her eyes.
I cringed. She was right. I sounded exactly like my mother. But honestly, these kinds of conversations made me so uncomfortable. Blessedly, the buzzer sounded, sending Maggie back to her section and focusing Claudia on the game. My eyes drifted to Josh, and to my surprise, his eyes seemed to find mine across the gym. I tried to ignore the jolt that rocketed through my stomach and unsettled me a ridiculous amount.
At the next time-out, I escaped the gym to the cafeteria where I figured I could at least clear my head. Instead, I saw a small group of girls giggling near the concession stand. Curiosity got the better of me, and I edged closer to get a better look. There, on a banner stretched in front of the counter, was an invitation to the prom for Megan spelled out entirely in candy. Inwardly I groaned, and felt a flash of mint green jealousy. I didn't even want to go to prom, did I? And who asks someone in January? Seriously.
Feeling suddenly defeated and deflated, I flopped down at the nearest table and plopped my head into my hands. I watched the girls flutter around Megan. This happened every year, so why did I feel so unprepared for it?
"Why so glum, chum?"
I glanced over my shoulder, perking up at the sight of Kyle standing behind me. He grabbed a chair and pulled it up right next to me. I mean, right next to me. My stomach did a funny little jump, and I wondered if this was what it felt like to be in love. I couldn't hear what he was saying as my heart thundered in my ears.
Kyle's leg knocked against mine, and he let his hand rest on my knee. "So what do you say we get out of here?"
My mouth opened and shut, and I had a bad feeling that I looked like a fish gasping for air. Kyle's hand started drifting further up my leg, and for a brief second, I squirmed with discomfort. My skirt felt infinitely too short suddenly.
"Hey, Kyle, come on!" Adam shouted from the gym door. "We're on. We need you, dude!"
Kyle gave my leg a final squeeze, pushing my skirt up a bit as he did. "Another time," he promised.
I watched him saunter off to the gym, and my mind ticked in confusion. Why hadn't I paid better attention to what he was saying? Was this my chance with Kyle? Was I missing it? Still…as his hand rose ever higher on my leg, I'd started to feel a little icky. Was that normal in a situation like this? I didn't have a ton of experience with guys, so maybe this was all to be expected.
Before I had any more time to ponder out my predicament, Claudia found me and dragged me back into the roar of the gym. And my thoughts melted into a puddle. Besides, with auditions to focus on, why worry about anything else?
****
When auditions finally arrived, everyone around me was smirking as Josh Larson got up on stage to take his turn. He had the audacity to be auditioning for Chad, the lead male role. The entire drama club had basically already decided that the role of Chad should go to Kyle, since, you know, he was a senior and he had written the musical, for goodness sake.
Josh gave an average reading. He could clearly act, but he was meant for a supporting role, not some big, out in front, lead role. Just because he was the sports star of the school, that didn't mean that he was meant to be the star of everything, especially when you considered the fact that he'd only transferred to our school at the beginning of the year.
Then Josh opened his mouth to sing. Everyone shut up and silence blanketed the auditorium. No one even blinked until Josh was done.
Kaylee leaned over and whispered, "He sounds just like a Disney character."
I wanted to laugh at that. You know, make some crack about how he sounded like Le Fou from Beauty and the Beast or Pumba from The Lion King, but I couldn't because Josh Larson didn't sound like either of those characters. And if anyone but Kaylee had said that to me, I would have thought they were crazy. But that's the thing. I totally understood what Kaylee meant. Josh sounded like a prince in a Disney movie, the lead guy who's swoon-worthy even if he is a cartoon.
When he finished the audition song, Josh stood at the center of the stage while the auditorium remained completely silent. He looked so uncomfortable, and for a minute, I couldn't figure out why. Then I realized that no one was clapping. I'm pretty sure everyone had been stunned into silence by the awesomeness of his voice. Still, I forced my hands together, not wanting to break the spell, but not wanting him to look like that either.
Kaylee started clapping next, and pretty soon the whole auditorium had erupted in thunderous applause. Josh got an "aw-shucks" look on his face and had the decency to blush. He was cute when he blushed. No! I reprimanded myself firmly. Josh Larson certainly was an attractive male, but I was not going to become one of his legions of fans. He had enough girls fawning over him to start a fan club, or a harem. I was not going to join that group.
Ms. Bard rushed onto the stage, applauding like her arms were from a wind-up toy. "Oh, Joshua! That was spectacular! Phenomenal! I can't make you any promises, but if I have my way, you're my Chad!"
I stopped clapping. My hands literally fell flat into my lap. I scanned the room for Kyle, who was sitting in the front row looking smug. Relief coursed through me. Kyle wasn't worried or threatened by Josh. Why should he be? I mean, Kyle wrote the freaking play. He was still a shoo-in for Chad.
Ms. Bard seriously looked like she was going to faint or swoon or something. Josh had already taken his seat back on the far side of the auditorium, close enough to look a part of the group, but far enough away to denote the difference between us and him. Ms. Bard continued to fan herself, and at one point, she began muttering to herself and glancing around absently.
Finally, she said, "Oh my, we should get back to these auditions. Who's next to audition for Chad?"
A few more guys tried their hand at Chad's part, but none of them came close to Josh's smooth tone. I shifted anxiously, wishing Ms. Bard would skip right to Kyle's audition. When Kyle's turn came, I could feel the anticipation in the room. It followed him as he climbed the stairs to the stage, and it reached a near frenzied pitch as the pianist warmed up.
Kyle opened his mouth, and the audition song spilled out. I waited for the swirl of amazement to hit me, but it never did. Kyle's audition seemed flat to me. There was no emotion in his voice, no connection to Chad. I found myself stealing glances at Ms. Bard, wondering if she felt it too.
When Kyle finished, the applause was polite. A few girls gushed to him as he came back to his seat. From the look on his face, it was clear that Kyle sensed defeat, or at least near defeat, because he immediately went to Ms. Bard. The two of them held a tense, maybe a little terse, conversation before Kyle stalked back to his seat and sat down, arms crossed.
"He wasn't as good as I thought he'd be," Kaylee whispered.
"I know what you mean," I whispered back reluctantly, my eyes straying across the room to Josh. He was leaning slightly forward in his chair, his hands laced together, resting on his knees. His posture gave me the impression that he was tense, and I guess he was because he was sort of out of his element. Or was he? What if Josh had been some amazing drama geek back at his old school? And when he transferred here, he decided to remake his image into that of a jock? It was a nice theory anyway. But if he was trying to remake his image here, why would he be auditioning for the musical?
"Hey, Mags," I whispered. "Have you heard anything about why Josh is trying out for the musical?"
Maggie shook her head. "Not yet, but don't worry I have my ears open."
For a first class gossip, Maggie could be surprisingly disappointing at times. I was trying to mull over some possibilities when Maggie leaned over to me again and in an excited whisper said, "Do you think it's because he's on the injured list for basketball? You know, ever since he heroically saved you."
I rolled my eyes. When were people going to stop talking about that? The guy had knocked a basketball away from my head, not pulled me from the clutches of a runaway train. And besides, what was the worst that could've happened to him? A bruised knee? What a baby. Although he had been in a walking boot for a few days. Whatever. He was still a big baby.
"Whatever, Mags," Kaylee whispered from my other side. Thank goodness for Kaylee. "He's probably just trying to prove that he's good at everything he does."
Frowning, I glanced back over at Josh. He didn't seem like he was trying to prove anything to anyone. He sort of looked like he really wanted the part. In a way, I felt sorry for him.
Thankfully, Ms. Bard interrupted our ponderings by announcing that the Kelly auditions would begin. Kaylee and Maggie squeezed my hands. They were the only people, aside from Ms. Bard, who knew I'd decided to audition for Kelly in addition to the role of Kelly's little sister. Claudia was called first to read and sing. Not to sound petty or anything, but she was terrible. Her reading felt like she was auditioning for a role on some MTV reality show, and her song sounded like a dying giraffe; giraffes don't have vocal chords.
I watched with relief as Claudia got off the stage to a rather disapproving look from Ms. Bard. Only one other girl signed up to audition for Kelly. Michelle Martin was a senior, and in my personal opinion, amazing in all things drama related. Plus, she had a really sweet demeanor, and every time she was up against anyone for a role, she cheered louder for her competition than anyone else.
And her audition was close to miraculous. I actually closed my eyes while she sang because I loved listening to her voice. It seemed almost incomprehensible that I'd willingly put myself into the same category as Michelle, but I just had to try. Honestly, the fact that Michelle would clearly get the role of Kelly helped relax me enough to almost look forward to my audition.
As Michelle wrapped up her audition, my mind wandered to my conversation with Kyle. How could he be mad at me for auditioning for Kelly when Michelle was clearly going to get the part? A little flicker of hope danced in my chest that maybe Kyle would actually be proud of me for putting myself out there in front of the whole drama crowd.
When Ms. Bard called my name, I snuck a glance at Kyle. He didn't flinch or turn toward me. In fact, he made no sign that he'd even heard my name read. My heart sank. Maggie and Kaylee squeezed my arms and murmured positive things. With shaky breath and knocking knees, I climbed up onto the stage. The minute I opened my mouth to speak Kelly's part, the miraculous transformation that makes acting totally worthwhile happened. I fell into the role, becoming Kelly inside and out. When I spoke the words they were truly Kelly's words, and I felt like I was channeling another whole person.
My voice shook as I began the audition song, but in the moment, I wasn't sure if it was because of nerves or emotions. Regardless, the song was a fun one to sing, and throwing myself into the part, I could easily forget about the audience watching me. The melody of the song was fairly simple, but there were complex undertones that sifted through the song like sand in the wind.
Applause raced through the auditorium when I finished; a pleasant surprise after watching Michelle perform. I took my seat, careful not to look at anyone but Maggie and Kaylee. True to form, Maggie began to inform me of all the reactions in the audience, and Kaylee's eyes shimmered with unshed tears. They both went a little overboard, in my opinion. Still it was flattering to hear myself praised on the same level that I would praise Michelle.
Ms. Bard made a few more notes on her clipboard before climbing up to the stage, and saying, "Call back lists will be posted by lunch time tomorrow. I will tell you that I've already made my decisions for the main roles of Chad and Kelly. Those will be posted with the rest of the cast list on Friday. Please don't bother me about who got the parts. You know I won't tell you, and all the nagging gets quite tiresome. Please remember that there are no small parts, only small actors. And I'd like everyone to consider helping out in other, behind-the-scenes areas, beyond your required ten hours. If you have any pertinent questions, please stay after and ask me. Dismissed."
Maggie had to get to band, and Kaylee had to work, but I pretended I needed to ask Ms. Bard a question so I could mill around for a bit, hoping to get a chance to talk to Kyle. I stayed in my seat for a minute after Kaylee and Maggie left, quickly organizing my reasons for auditioning when I'd promised not to.
My thoughts were interrupted by someone's throat clearing. I looked up to see Josh Larson standing in front of me, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. He gave me a tentative half smile, and I couldn't help but smile back.
"Hey," he said, smiling a little bigger. "You're the girl from the basketball game, aren't you?"
My smile drooped. "Um, yeah," I replied. "Thanks for that, by the way."
Josh ducked his head in that "aw-shucks" move again, but grinned at me through what, up close, were impossibly long eyelashes. "You're welcome," he said. Then he added, "I couldn't have let a pretty girl like you go around with a black eye because of some jerk from Central throwing the ball at my head."
I raised an eyebrow. So that's what had happened. Interesting. And even more interesting, Josh Larson was flirting with me. No doubt about it. Strange and exhilarating, to be honest. Stranger and even more exhilarating was the overwhelming desire I had to flirt right back. "And what were you doing to make that jerk from Central want to throw a basketball at your head?" I teased.
"I must have told him he had big feet or something." Josh shoved his hands into his pockets, and grinned at me.
"Such trash talk." I smiled. Maybe I could get used to having some attention paid to me from the whole basketball rescue incident.
We lapsed into silence for a few seconds, awkwardness seeping in. Finally, Josh said, "Um, so, I just wanted to tell you that I thought you were really good up there."
"Thanks," I said, surprised. I hadn't been expecting anyone to think I was good after following Michelle and all. I mean, except for Kaylee and Maggie. "You were too."
"Oh, thanks," Josh replied, oddly seeming equally as surprised. "It's fun."
"What's fun?" I asked, dumbly.
Josh gestured around the auditorium. "This sort of stuff. Theater stuff. Anyway, you were great. Just wanted to tell you. Good luck."
"Thanks, you too." I felt the words thicken in my throat as Josh smiled at me one last time and headed for the exit. I stayed put for another few seconds, my heart hammering, before remembering why I'd stayed in the first place. Quickly, I scanned the auditorium and found Kyle huddled near Ms. Bard, a rather furious look darkening his perfect features.
Suddenly, Kyle slammed down the binder he'd been carrying and turned to storm out of the auditorium. He stalked right past me without so much as a glance. My heart sank a little, and I had to swallow the bitter taste in my mouth. As the auditorium doors clanged shut, I reluctantly gathered my backpack to leave. Kyle wasn't going to come back to congratulate me, and I didn't have any questions for Ms. Bard, so I really had no reason to stay.
As I pulled the zipper up on my backpack, I heard my name being called. I glanced up to see Ms. Bard beckoning me to join her at the front of the room.
"Hannah, darling," she said as I approached. I'm so glad that you stayed. I have something that I want to tell you in person."
I smiled at her expectantly. She really was the funniest teacher 'd ever had. There was something eccentrically lovable about her.
"I've decided to forego tradition this year," Ms. Bard began. "As you know, normally I give the lead roles in our Spring Musical to seniors because I feel they've earned their place at the forefront of our theater family."