The Goddess Documents
Trudi L. White
Published by Trudi L. White at Smashwords http://www.thegoddessdocuments.com
Copyright © 2007 by Trudi L. White
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Prologue
It was every kind of quiet. At least that’s how it felt to the two little girls. Six years old and sneaking around in the middle of the night, they were terrified. Slowly they crept down the stairs, first to the main level of the house, then through the kitchen. As they approached the cellar, they almost turned back. They felt very brave, and very terrified at the same time.
Maybe there was an eerie chill in the air, maybe it was just the flimsy cotton nightgowns they wore. Whatever it was, both girls shivered profusely. Bravely they pushed forward.
The easy part was over. As they stood in the cold dark kitchen near the door that opened to the basement, they felt as if the challenge would be impossible to meet.
The old-fashioned crystal doorknob seemed to wink in the light of the full moon. Just that light alone, almost startled them into turning back.
Finally, the braver of the two girls reached out, turned the knob and opened the door. Just as the door opened they saw a flickering light and heard the steady chanting. The old staircase creaked as they stepped together onto the first
step down. They linked arms to support each other in a show of bravery. Just as they were about to brave the next stair, there was a loud bang.
They jumped apart as fast as they could and ran up and out through the kitchen and living room. They ran up the stairs to the four-poster bed where they crawled under the covers and sat gaping at each other in wide-eyed fear.
CHAPTER ONE
Bri could not believe what was happening to her. Here she sat with copies of the ancient scrolls in her hand. Well, they weren’t scrolls now but she was told that they had been at one time. She had been invited to be an apprentice to a high priestess. 24 hours ago she was just a woman feeling stuck in life. Stuck in her job. Stuck in her relationship. Stuck in life. She had not a clue of how to change. So she had prayed. She had prayed desperately for guidance and help. They say that when the student is ready the teacher appears. Even though she had prayed, Bri didn’t feel ready. Not for this kind of teaching. She stared down at the papers on her lap again, amazed at the title; “The Daughters of Inanna.”
She was so afraid to open them that she actually trembled. So Bri stared. After awhile, she replayed the meeting in her mind for what seemed like the hundredth time.
Bri had been called to Windmere House to meet with Anne-Marie Brody as a potential client. There had been some pretense about drawing up a will. Although she was an attorney, Bri didn’t normally do wills. Usually that kind of
thing would have been given to another associate in the San Francisco firm where she worked. But apparently, this Mrs. Brody had asked for Bri by name.
She remembered approaching the house for the first time. Bri had been struck by the majesty of the house.
As she walked towards the house Bri couldn’t help thinking how stately, elegant and beautiful it looked. The white Victorian seemed misplaced in time and space. It seemed as if it had survived a war or an earthquake, as if it had seen the worst and the best and remained standing.
Bri felt the wrought iron gate against her hand. It creaked slightly as she had imagined it would. Time seemed to slow as she walked up the sidewalk, up 12 steps to the massive door. She stood in front of a very elegant and forbidding door. It was made of mahogany and stained glass.
Bri pushed the old bell on the side of the door while she tried to make out the image in the stained glass. Before she could make sense of it, the door opened, and there stood a very old woman. She looked to be in her late 80s or 90s, but she still had a vibrant and confident air. “Stately, elegant and beautiful,” flashed through Bri’s mind again.
Bri admired the woman’s dress. It too looked like it had survived. It was fresh and immaculate. But Bri imagined that the emerald dress had survived. It, as well as the woman, would have been perfectly comfortable in this house 150 years earlier.
Bri was ushered into the Parlor. There could be no other name for such a room. Honey brown round tables with doilies and lots of rugs were scattered around the room.
Even the rounded wooden arms of the mauve sofa echoed a feeling of times long past. Once again, Bri felt as if she had been removed from time and space.
Just as they sat down, the little wooden clock on the mantle over the fireplace chimed six times. The lights were dimmed to reflect the evening meeting.
“So good of you to come this late,” the woman said in a strong, yet very quiet voice. “I would have asked you to come earlier, but I’ve been away.”
“Well this is just fine. I’m very happy we were able to arrange this meeting at all.” Bri replied.
“You do look so much the same as always,” said the old woman.
Until that moment Bri had thought that the old woman had maintained all of her faculties despite her advancing years. Now she wondered.
“But we’ve never met before?” Bri found herself surprised by her own question.
“Well – not that you’d remember.” replied Mrs. Brody.
Things only got stranger from there. Half an hour later, Bri was staring at Anne-Marie Brody with an open mouth.
“So, I’m supposed to believe I’m one of these Daughters of Inanna, a secret society of women that goes back thousands of years? And this “honor” was passed on to me by my mother who died when I was only six years old?” asked Bri.
“Well, yes Dear,” said Anne-Marie Body. “Haven’t you ever felt you were different from other girls?”
“Who doesn’t?”
“You’re different in the way you know some things. Just know. That’s called direct knowing. You’re also different in the way you decide things and then make them happen. I’ll bet you that when you decided to be a lawyer, the doors just opened and it was done without any second guess or hesitation on your part?”
“I’m decisive. That makes me a Daughter of Inanna? Most of the professional women I know are decisive. We have to be in order to make it.”
“Yes dear, but if you ask them, most will tell you they’ve had second thoughts. Most women automatically question their intuition and consequently their decisions. That just isn’t the case with you is it?”
Bri hesitated, and then answered, “That still doesn’t prove anything.”
“Dear, if you will just stop and listen to your Inner Self for a moment, you won’t need any proof.”
“This is where my direct knowing is supposed to kick in. I’m sorry I just can’t buy into any of this. And I’m certainly not about to join some cult that worships an ancient goddess.”
“Dear, we don’t worship the goddess. Our women come to us with all their own spiritual beliefs. We don’t seek to disrupt that. We allow for growth into a deeper understanding of the nature of spirituality. Inanna is more of a guide for us. We respect her. We honor her. We draw strength from her. But we don’t worship her.”
Bri felt her guard start to slip a bit. She recovered quickly.
“Still this whole thing sounds crazy to me. The privilege of this training will cost me a mere…?” Bri waited to see if the sophisticated older woman slipped into con man mode.
“Oh no, this won’t cost you anything. We plan ahead for our Daughters’ education. Your mother paid the fee while you were still a baby. Our investment team is able to take a relatively small amount and invest it to pay for your entire training by the time you’re 30. Any remainder will of course revert to you, although many of our women choose to invest the additional in the organization.”
Anne-Marie paused while she took a sip of tea.
“You wouldn’t be here now if you hadn’t been asking for this at some deep level of your soul. When you ask for something the universe always answers.”
“Why don’t you have tea with Diana next week,” she continued. “Diana runs the house and the United States organization. She knew your mother quite well. Here take this too; it’s a little reading material. Get to know a little more about what I’m talking about.”
Bri took the documents and walked out. The meeting had been over before she could find out more about this Diana and how she knew her mother. Bri had, however, agreed to meet Diana for tea. She thought she could find out more about her mother that way.
Now as she sat with the documents in front of her, Bri wondered how she got here. How she could feel so hopeless and alone. She wasn’t alone though. She had friends. She had her boyfriend, Joseph. Being a good-looking professional African-American woman, she received a great deal of male attention in addition to Joseph. She had a great job by most standards.
Then why did she feel as if she were acting out a part? Bri felt trapped. Trapped in a life that looked so perfect on the surface. How could something that looked so wonderful feel so binding? She had always dreamed of fulfillment, of finding her purpose in life. She wanted desperately to wake up in the morning, excited about what lay ahead. But when she woke she always knew what to expect. She always knew exactly what she was going to do that day. What was prescribed according to the rules she’d chosen to live by. The number of children she would have some day had been the only real mystery in her life.
Now there was a new mystery, a new sense of excitement. She felt Windmere House calling her. She felt the call of the Daughters of Inanna. And now she recognized the call of her very soul.
Bri had been surprised that so much of what Anne- Marie told her had just felt true
Bri picked up the documents and started to read.
CHAPTER TWO
The next week, Bri eagerly kept her appointment with Diana. After introducing themselves to each other, Diana explained a little about the Daughters of Inanna and the training. Bri learned that the papers she had been given weren’t actually “The Goddess Documents”, but writings that had been done by the Daughters over the years.
“Of course the training doesn’t come without responsibilities,” explained Diana.
“What kind of responsibilities?” asked Bri.
“We help promising young women when they are floundering.”
“How does that work?” asked Bri.
“Remember when you were 15? You were having a rough time. You missed your mother so much, and you were having trouble adjusting to high school.”
“How do you know about that?” asked Bri.
“I got full reports from Lydia Day.”
“She was my homeroom teacher!”
“Yes, and she’s also a Daughter. Lydia has always
loved helping young women so much, that’s why she became a teacher,” mused Diana. “Anyway, those long talks the two of you had really helped restore your self-confidence didn’t they?”
“I was not doing well in school until then. She helped me find the debate club, where I made friends. It really boosted my confidence. I don’t think I would have made it to college, let alone law school, if it hadn’t been for Mrs. Day.”
“Yes, and that’s only part of the story.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’ll understand once you’re in the program. I have to go now or I’ll be late for another meeting.”
“What a cryptic response,” thought Bri as she picked up her bag to go.
They met again a few days later after Bri had a chance to do a little more reading and let some of the ideas soak in for a while.
Bri was full of questions at their next meeting.
“So what you do is help young women achieve their dreams. Isn’t that a bit like being a Fairy Godmother?” Bri asked cynically.
“Oh we haven’t been called that in generations. But to tell you the truth, I always liked the romance of thinking that way,” explained Diana.
“Fairy Godmothers? But isn’t that sort of silly and trivial?”
“Everyone needs a Fairy Godmother from time to time dear.”
“You’re kidding, right? I’m supposed to go into training to be a Fairy Godmother?”
“Just like you needed Lydia Day, other women need someone who will believe in them, unconditionally, someone who can see our strengths when we’re too confused to see clearly.”
“We’re the Daughters of Inanna. Not that there’s anything wrong with Fairy Godmothers, mind you.” Diana looked off into space and began to talk, as if to no one in particular.
“We all need a Fairy Godmother sometimes,” she said again. “Not to magically improve us or lift us up out of our circumstances. The real magic of the Fairy Godmother is in the mirror she holds up for us to look into.
The mirror shows us the possibilities of our Selves and our lives. It shows us who we really are and what we can become.
The Fairy Godmother never brings us what we don’t have. She doesn’t change us. She doesn’t even suggest that there is anything wrong with the way we are. She just knows the truth.
The Fairy Godmother works with what is present. In Cinderella, she transformed the girl’s ragged dress into a ball gown. The Fairy Godmother enhanced what was already there.
She brought forth a different aspect of what was present. The Fairy Godmother knew with absolute certainty that what Cinderella saw was not the whole truth. The Fairy Godmother knew that in a different form the dress Cinderella was already wearing would be perfect for the ball.
Notice that Cinderella was already beautiful, charming, intelligent and graceful. She just couldn’t see it herself. The Godmother didn’t need to enhance that or Cinderella's wit and charm. Cinderella just needed the confidence of all the trappings. Once her confidence was bolstered by the dress, the coach and all of the accessories, Cinderella let her own inner beauty shine through. So, she was able to allow herself to win the prince. She had everything it took. She always had it.
The prince is of course only a symbol. A symbol of a young woman’s heartfelt dream. Today, it could be a family, a career or a simple desire to help in the world and feel fulfilled.
That’s what we all need sometimes. Someone to truly look at us. Someone to see our strength and beauty. Someone to see our true selves. Then we in turn can act as a mirror to another who doesn’t see so clearly.
Most of us need the Fairy Godmother to serve as that mirror. Once we see what’s really inside, our confidence builds and we demonstrate who we really are. Once our self-doubt is removed, we no longer hesitate to follow our hearts. In our hearts we find the truth and beauty of who we are. Then we truly have something to give to the world.
That’s the reality of it all. That’s one of the big lessons we come to this life to learn. Once we are truly ourselves, when we live from the core of our Divine nature, that’s all we want to do, is give. We recognize the unity of all life. But that’s very difficult to do when we’re blinded by day-to-day troubles.
So that’s what we do. We help women find their true Divine nature. Then the world has the gift of that beauty and that truth. And our women can’t wait to return the favor by passing on beauty, truth and service to the world. We don’t call ourselves Fairy Godmothers, but the principle of bringing out the best in women is one of our prime reasons for existence.”
CHAPTER THREE
Bri walked into her condo, dropped her briefcase in the hall and without stopping, continued on to her bedroom where she collapsed onto the bed fully dressed. Another day at work like today and she’d scream, pull out her hair and leave.
“It isn’t fair,” she said to herself as she lay on the bed, eyes open, facing the ceiling. “Being a lawyer was supposed to be fun. I was going to be a crusader for justice. Instead, I’ve turned into a negotiator for the least offensive solution for everyone involved.”
Bri flashed back to the triumphant moment when she had received her letter of acceptance to Stanford Law School. She had been ecstatic. She must have walked on cloud nine for at least a week. She really didn’t come down until the first day of law school. The lectures and the work that the professors had given had dampened her enthusiasm somewhat. But Bri made it through with honors.
Bri rolled over onto her stomach, thinking, “It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this.” Her mind wandered back to the documents and her meetings with Diana. She wondered how choosing that path could be any worse than where she was today.
That evening, Bri shared her feelings with her boyfriend, Joseph. Joseph, who seemed perfectly content with the sacrifices and compromises he made on a day-to-day basis in his own law practice, brushed her off.
“Don’t worry, after this vacation we’re planning, you’ll come back refreshed, renewed and revitalized in your passion for the law.” Joseph kissed Bri. “What about making it the Cayman Islands? We can stay at that all inclusive resort like when we were in Jamaica.”
“Maybe we should postpone the trip,” suggested Bri.
“Remember how nervous you were about picking up parasites in the water in Jamaica?”
“Now is not such a good time for me to be planning a vacation. “
“Don’t be silly, Weatherby will gladly give you the time off. It’s been over a year since you took any real time off.”
“I know. It’s not the time off. It’s these women I told you about, the ones in the old Queen Anne Victorian. They got me started thinking about my life.”
“The Caymans are a great place to think.”
“No, listen to me Joseph. This is serious. Diana knew my mother really well. I would like to spend some time with her. You know my mother died when I was six. I could really have a chance to finally learn a little about her. My father just wouldn’t talk about her. Then when he remarried…”
“Do you really want to get mixed up with these women? They seem a little strange to me.”
“I know, but the more I get to know them, the more at home I feel. And that house… Well I don’t know, it just feels as if I belong there somehow. It’s like they know who I really am.”
“I know who you really are. You’re a beautiful, sexy, brilliant attorney, who just happens to be crazy about me.” Joseph took her into his arms. He kissed her quickly before picking up his briefcase and heading out.
Bri stared out her living room window at the San Francisco Bay. She was tired playing the role of the successful attorney. She was coming to realize that being an attorney was just what she did. It had nothing to do with who she was.
CHAPTER FOUR
Bri looked around the room. The women here all seemed perfectly normal. If she had met any of them in other circumstances, she was sure she would never have guessed their secret.
The five other women at the orientation to the Daughters of Inanna training looked as if they could be accountants, homemakers or schoolteachers. In fact, one of them, Kathy, was a schoolteacher.
At the beginning of this session they had gone around and given their names and occupations, or at least their former occupations.
The woman named Sarah had particularly intrigued Bri. Sarah had apparently been doing some type of insurance work until very recently. Bri was struck by Sarah’s confidence and obviously independent nature.
She wasn’t sure exactly what she had expected from this small group of women however, she was surprised to find that most of them seemed strong and independent. Not the type of women who would fall in line and just take orders.
No, these women seemed informed and interested, not the type to make a suicide pact under the influence of a charismatic leader.
Bri looked around the room again to prompt the information she had about each of these women.
Dana was a good-looking woman, with striking black hair. When she introduced herself, they discovered that she worked as an office manager for a local real estate broker.
There was Kathy, a mousy sort of looking woman with straight brown hair. She was a second grade teacher. Her chino slacks and polo shirt made her look as if she was prepared for any seven-year-old challenge.
That was a big contrast from that Debra woman. Debra was dressed in a tailored skirt and blouse. She didn’t look like the type to subject those manicured nails to anything that might chip their polish. Apparently she worked in a very successful family business.
Aimee was an athletic looking journalist from the Pacific Northwest, but she seemed to have a much more worldly air. She certainly didn’t seem like someone who could be easily duped.
Bri was the only African-American woman besides, Oya, one of the instructors. Working in law, Bri was very used to being in the minority. She hardly even noticed it any more.
“We consider ourselves Sisters,” Diana began. “In order to bond and form that Sisterhood with your class, we require that all Trainees live here at Windmere House for the six month training period. Under these circumstances we
truly become Sisters. We come to know each other and depend on each other as family. Once this bond is formed with your class you will find that it easily extends to Daughters of Inanna everywhere.
There will be breaks during Christmas and Easter when you are allowed to spend the night away. Other than that, we ask that you sleep at the house. All other nights away should be approved in advance.
You will have plenty of free time and every Sunday off. However, please be aware of the 11 pm curfew. This is out of respect for the rest of the residents of the house. It’s more conducive to group living if we don’t have women coming and going at all hours of the night.”
Bri looked around the room to see if anyone else appeared to find the rules too restrictive.
Apparently, most of the women had already been prepared for this news. Undoubtedly by their mothers who would have endured something similar. Bri was saddened that she had never had the chance to learn about the Daughters from her own mother.
Bri felt it was unfortunate that there was no time to mingle with the other women. But the information was presented strictly lecture style.
A petite brunette approached Bri as they were leaving Windmere House.
“Hi my name is Sarah. I’m so excited to be beginning training, how about you?”
“Well, yes, but what about all of those rules?” Bri asked.
“I know, but my mom says it’s not so bad once you get used to it. At least we don’t have any women with children in our class. I hear that can be really rough.”
“I guess so.”
“Hey do you want to get to know each other some before we start training?” Sarah asked.
Bri didn’t let on that she wasn’t yet sure that she would be training. She did, however, think it was a good idea to get to know more about the kind of people who did this sort of thing.
“That’s a great idea. Let’s do lunch later this week.” Bri was dying to get the perspective of someone who had grown up with knowledge of the Daughters of Inanna.
“How’s Saturday?”
“Great.” Bri and Sarah agreed to meet at a restaurant on Fisherman’s Wharf on Saturday at noon.
CHAPTER FIVE
Lunch had stretched into the late afternoon and finally to a dinner prepared by Sarah in her small apartment.
Bri was amazed at everything Sarah knew about the Daughters of Inanna. Apparently there were all sorts of ceremonies, rituals and traditions. The documents Bri had read were just the tip of the iceberg.
“How the Triad knew that the gifts would pass through the maternal line for generations to come, I don’t have any idea.” Sarah said in answer to one of Bri’s many questions.
Apparently the Triad had come together centuries ago to form the Daughters of Inanna. One of them had rescued “The Goddess Documents” from the fires in Alexandria. She brought the other two priestesses together to form the Daughters of Inanna. Since then the documents and gifts have passed from generation to generation through the maternal line.
The Triad had set up the form in which the Daughters still existed today. Most of the ceremonies were handed directly from one generation to the next. The biggest changes involved translation to the current language of the Daughters.
“But why do we have to be thirty to begin the training?” asked Bri.
“Mom always said it was because a young woman needs time to explore the world and to discover the value of herself and her life before committing to life as a Daughter,” replied Sarah.
“Committing to a life as a Daughter… you make it sound like joining a nunnery, or something.” Bri said nervously.
“Oh, no, nothing like that. Obviously our mothers married and raised families. But when the Daughters call, they always return. It’s in service to the Daughters, the world, and young women everywhere. Being a Daughter of Inanna is definitely a calling. I’ve been waiting for my turn to answer the call my entire life.”
Bri was now feeling both jealous and inadequate because Sarah had been raised not only by her mother, but also with the knowledge she would one day become a Daughter.
Having lost her mother at age six, Bri had missed out on all of that. Since her father had passed on two years ago, Bri had no one to ask about why none of this part of her mother had ever been shared with her.
Bri understood now what that hole she had felt all her life had been. Her stepmother, Jules, had done her best to fill that hole by being a good mother to Bri. But now Bri understood that mothering alone could never fill the hole of her heritage as a Daughter of Inanna.
Sarah had spent the first seven years of her life after college working claims at a major insurance company. It allowed her to get a professional position and earn a comfortable living after college. Being able to have the freedom of a job that didn’t tie her to a desk suited Sarah’s independent spirit too. Looking at the petite brunette, you would never guess that she was a woman who lifted ladders and crawled under houses handling hurricane, tornado and earthquake claims.
Unlike Bri, Sarah had no hesitation. She had given a months notice and taken a month off in preparation to begin training. Because of her mother, Sarah had always known she’d enter the apprentice program when she turned 30. That’s why she had chosen the career she had. She knew it was something she could get actively involved in, get real world experience, make a good living at and yet walk away from without any hesitation when the time came.
The people at her office had, of course, been surprised when this successful young woman had given her notice. Unlike the others, she had not spent lunch hours and happy hours griping about the company and the insurance industry. They had all thought she would be a fast riser on the corporate ladder.
Sarah had been prepared for the questions, too. She told everyone she was going to take time to discover who
she was and maybe do some writing. Both things were definitely true. Sarah planned to write empowering books for women after she completed training. It would also allow her the mental stimulation she needed, as well as leave her flexibility in her schedule for assignments from the Daughters.
As Bri left Sarah’s apartment, she realized that she was seriously considering becoming a Trainee. In her mind she was working out how she could manage so much time away from work.
CHAPTER SIX
The next day Bri met with Diana again. This time at Windmere House.
“Here, sit here at the desk.” said Diana.
Bri sat and watched as Diana walked to the bookshelves. She brought down one heavy book after another. Some of the books appeared to be photo albums, while others, journals and scrapbooks.
“These are some of your mother’s things,” said Diana.
“All of this? What is all of this?” Bri asked.
“These were your mother’s photos, letters, and writings for the Daughters.”
Bri reached out a hand a slowly opened an album. She gasped and cried out. “But this is my mother as a child. My father said that there were only a few photos of my mother, their wedding photo, her holding me as a baby and a couple of the three of us together. He said he never knew her parents. That he knew nothing of her childhood. These are all so…” Bri gasped. “Is this my Grandmother?”
“Yes, Dear – Marian was with us for many years. She was a cornerstone in our design and development of this house as our home and sanctuary, as well as in the safety of the Goddess Documents. Her background in Egyptology helped us to develop some clever ways of safeguarding the sacred papers.”
Bri sat stunned and speechless; hurt seeping in through every pore of her body.
“And Daddy knew all about this? She asked.
“He was here when they were dating, marveling at the photos of your mother as a child, amazed at some of her writings.”
“And mother, why didn’t she take all this? At least the photo albums - when she married and set up her own home?”
“This was like a family home to her. The place she could always come back to and rest in family and tradition. She felt this was where all this belonged. You take a couple of these. Go home. Have time with you mother.”
That night, Bri had a dream. She dreamed that she was walking with her mother beside a lake. In the dream, Bri started out as a small child, and then abruptly changed to her current age.
Her mother didn’t say anything in the dream, but when Bri looked in her mother’s eyes she saw such incredible peace and joy. The beauty she saw when she looked at her mother was beyond anything Bri had ever seen in any photos
of her. It was beyond anything she had ever seen.
As they walked, Bri couldn’t help but turn her head often, to see that her mother was really there. Bri knew in her dream that her mother had passed on. But she was still very much present with Bri as they walked.
They walked on to the top of a hill. From the top of the hill, Bri could see for what seemed like miles. All that she saw was the beauty of nature and the harmony of it all. It seemed so perfect.