Excerpt for Shadows of an Afterlife by Elizabeth Agiantritis, available in its entirety at Smashwords

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Shadows of an Afterlife


Elizabeth Agiantritis



Smashwords Edition


Copyright 2009 Elizabeth Agiantritis




Discover other titles by Elizabeth Agiantritis at Smashwords.com:


Sorrow Tears: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1992

A Life in Darkness: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1860

Dawn of Miracles: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/2880

Poetry for my Mother: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1873



Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.



For more information on the author and her poems, visit her website:

http://elizabeths-poetry.hostei.com




This Land


Promises of happiness

Led me to this land.

Hope for a better tomorrow

Brought me to this land.

The rays of the sun shining through a clear sky

Made me stay in this land.

But sadness, the past and dark clouds

Forced me to leave this land.

This land which I loved,

This land which I wished to die in,

This land which I once called home,

This land which in the end

Was only in my mind.



Tears That Burn My Soul


Tears that burn my soul,

Tears that run down my two cheeks,

Tears that burn my soul

Promises I meant to keep.


Wishfully I think of yesterday

Hoping that it will return,

So I can keep those promises

Wanting it not to be my turn.


For death must wait,

Yes death must wait

So I can turn the clocks around

So I can keep those promises

So I can wipe those soul-burning tears away.


But yesterday remains in the past

So my promises got lost in the wind

And death will await me not

So I shall die with a tear stained soul.



In the Name of Love, Freedom, Religion


In the name of love, freedom, religion

Did I not walk through

The burning flames of Hell?

In the name of love, freedom, religion

Did I not enter

The world of the non-living

The world of the eternal dead?

In the name of love, freedom, religion

Did I not lose all I owned,

Including my self-respect,

Including even my soul?

In the name of all these

Did I not try my very best

Until my very best was not enough?

And in the end

Did I not lose the meaning

Of love, freedom, religion?

Oh yes! I most surely did.



To a Place


To a place

Where rainbows meet,

Where Angels

Wake and sleep,

I shall go.

To a place

Where all snow melts,

Where rain never falls,

I promise to go.

To a place

Where anger never is,

Where bitterness never lives,

I hope to go.

To a place

Where miracles are,

Where hope can be held,

I shall not go.

For I could never go

To a place that never has been.



And Then Truth Came


We sat together,

Not all of us of course,

Perhaps just a mere handful.

We sat and hoped of a world full of sunshine,

A world where it would never rain.

We sat and hoped,

And we believed in our hopes.

We turned away from all that hurt us,

We only ever faced

What would please us.

We lived in an illusion

And we were happy.

And then truth came,

It began to rain

And we could see it.

Reality had reached our carefully put up walls,

Ugliness was no longer something we could ignore,

And the harshness of all that was real

Would let us dream no more.



Destination Unknown


Walk with me,

Be with me,

Follow me.

You think that you know me

But you don't.

I carefully hide in the shadows

So that you never see my true face,

You only ever see

What I set you see.

And I ask you to come with me,

Though I know not

What hides behind every corner.

And I ask you to come with me

To a destination unknown.

I can sense your fear

But I know

That you want to join me.

So walk with me,

Be with me,

Follow me,

Though it remains

Destination unknown.



Tombstone


It's hard to know

Just what to say,

What to do,

And how to act around you,

When you have lost

What's dearest to you,

Your very own breath of air.

So this I think

Here where I sit

Upon the ground

Right in front

Of a tombstone

That carries your name.



Follow Me


Tonight my aching heart

Yearns for salvation.

As I stand and walk around

I can hear the creaking of my bones.

As I approach the mirror

All I can see

Is a wrinkled face

Surrounded by white hair.

I turn away

But it makes no difference,

I am still the same.

I speak, but my voice echoes

In an empty room.

Loneliness relentlessly rips at my heart.

Tonight I hear a whispery voice

Calling out to me,

Follow me,

Follow me,

It' time to go,

Follow me...



Untitled


It was not the words

That hurt,

But rather the silence.

It was not the lies

That mocked us,

But rather the truth.

It was not sorrow

That relentlessly tormented our senses,

But rather without the boundaries of joy.

And it was not the dead ends

That kept us imprisoned,

But rather the open roads

That taunted us

And asked us to cross them

Knowing that our every step on them

Led us closer

To the darkness and the cold of death.


The Waltz of Death


I saw before me

A murderer,

A ruthless slayer of dreams.

I told him that hated him,

But he just smiled enigmatically.

We danced together

The waltz of Death,

We danced together

To the tune of hopelessness.

We knew no tomorrow,

We had forgotten every yesterday,

And we lived in a hazy today.

I tried to brake free

But he just pulled me closer,

Every step I took

He took one with me,

Like a second shadow

He followed my every move,

Until I finally could take no more.

And so I told him

But he just said to me

That one more time would not hurt me

One more dance would not kill me,

But by then

I already knew

That the very first dance

Had actually been the last one.



The Mirror of Truth


Looking in the mirror of truth

I see only the reflection of me.

Looking in the mirror of truth

I see only fragments of my life,

I no longer see a whole person,

I see but an incomplete soul,

I no longer see all of me,

I see but a hazed image.

Looking in the mirror of truth

I see myself walking the earth

With no emotions,

I have nothing to live for,

Nothing to die for.

Looking in the mirror of truth

I see the truth

And everything that comes with it.



Dead Among Us


There are among us

Those who know

All there is to know,

Those who see

All there is to see,

Those that are

All that can be.

They walk among us,

Though we can not see them,

For they are,

The dead.

They drag with them the past

And hide from us the future.

For each of us

There is a dead that follows along.

And in the end

What should not happen, happens,

Dead among us live.



Nothingness


When I close my eyes

I become one with nothingness,

I am no longer

And no longer am I.

It is neither dark nor light,

It is simply emptiness,

And I am one with it.

It embraces me

And I embrace it,

It surrounds me

And I get lost in it.

When I open my eyes

I become one with everything,

I become one with harshness, ugliness, cruelty,

So I close my eyes

And I once again

Become one with nothingness.



Inner Self


My heart aches

When your heart breaks.

My eyes water

With the tears that you cry.

My ears listen

To the words that you hear.

My lips speak

All you say.

I am your shadow,

I am your other self

I am you.



How Sorry I Am For


How sorry I am for those

Who do not know how to laugh,

Who do not know how to love,

Who do not know how to cry

And how to hate.


How sorry I am for those

Who do not feel

And into oblivion disappear.


How sorry I am for those

Who see the days pass by

Without ever counting them.


How sorry I am for those

Who do not know how to listen

And who for no reason speak

In a room

In which there is no one.



I Was Beautiful


I was beautiful

Before I knew

The hatred in the world.

I was beautiful

Before I saw

The darkness of the sky.

I was beautiful

Before I tasted

The bitter fruits of life.

I was beautiful

Before I smelt the scent of death.

I was beautiful

Before I felt

The years pass by.



Untitled


It is not death

That scares me,

It is the loneliness.

It is not the blackness of the dark

That scares me,

It is transparency of colourlessness.

It is not pessimism

That scares me,

It is the baseless hope.

It is not the extremities

That scare me,

It is the compromises.



Untititled


When the sky is grey,

When the sun can not be seen,

That’s when they come.

They laugh at the righteous

And dance with the wicked.

They claw their way through the earth

And leave nothing but ashes behind them.

Cruel memories are what they are,

My immortal soul is what they want.



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