50% of Love
50 odd poems
by
Palas Kumar Ray
SMASHWORDS EDITION
* * * * *
PUBLISHED BY:
Palas Kumar Ray
50% of Love
50 odd poems
Copyright © 2010 by Palas Kumar Ray
Smashwords Edition License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author's work.
* * * * *
50% of LOVE:
50 odd poems
Dedication: -
Dedicated to my departed mother Binapani Ray.
Her blessings alone have made me a poet today.
Acknowledgement: -
Everyone has a lot of sufferings in life but only a few have a pen to express. I am very blessed that I have a pen. I feel this is the blessing of my departed mother being showered upon me. Otherwise, it was never possible for me being here sharing my poems with you today. May I acknowledge my deep regards to everyone who has greatly influenced my life. They live in my past and present. Sandra fowler and Mamta Agarwal have been thoroughly my inspiration to carry forward my poetic journey in life since my poemhunter days. My face book friend and a great admirer of my poetry, Linda de clerk, have given me the courage to come forward with my creations in print media. I really don’t know what she has found very inspiring in my poems but I understand she has her blessings with me. If poemhunter was birthplace of this poet, Allpoetry has nourished him to grow as a matured poet. I am indebted to my every reader and fellow poets in both the websites. In fact this is their praise and critique that has always inspired me to write more. I am truly very grateful to each of them.
Palas Kumar Ray
* * * * *
Preface: -
50 odd poems of 50 % of LOVE are mere expressions of feelings of passionate lovers at different stages of life, reminiscing pros and cons of every moment so passed being in love affairs. Poet knows nothing much about poetic skills. These poems are written most naturally releasing his emotions with a noble intention to share his experience in love with fellow sufferers of past, present and future.Love will never cease breaking hearts. These poems are not to tell you “Love or don’t love.” Love does not happen like that. It just happens when happens. These poems are only to describe what happens when happens.
* * * * *
Contents: -
1 Bites of memories
2 Love not
3 Lots of love
4 A window and a wall
5 Death isn’t
6 Peace without
7 The end of a life
8 Token of love
9 A very confusing wish
10 Did not match
11 Simple truth, complicated ego
12 Risks
13 I know only 50 % of Love
14 Tobacco and You
15 Goodbye
16 You never died
17 Destined
18 Life didn't end without you
19 Love is
20 Turning
21 The greatest lies
22 Too far isn't far away
23 Rights
24 Signs
25 You are not important now
26 Come on, flow
27 One more poem written
28 Forsaken dream
29 Those red velvet roses
30 Poetry again
31 Love costs too much
32 Prose
33 Let us again be stranger
34 Poetry
35 Ready to be kicked
36 A lengthy episode
37 Lost
38 Love and compassion
39 Changing of direction
40 For a beautiful face
41 If instead
42 The rule of the game
43 Liberty to go
44 Forgetting
45 Forbidden love
46 Mistake
47 Tomorrow never comes
48 Forever gone
49 And I heeded myself
50 Everything isn't fair in Love and War
* * * * *
Bites of memories
That place was too similar to this place.
Long cozy roads, plantations all around,
distant building blocks, play grounds,
beautiful gardens, demonstration plots
classrooms, hostels, canteen, students
walking together friends, side by side.
blowing air, hair- covering faces, smiles.
books in hands, speeding bi-cycles, words;
some spoken, unspoken, understood.
I was damn afraid of coming here,
to such a similar place where I once lost
my valuable days, my dreams
I was not very sure if I could survive
bites of painful memories
because I lost my faith in love
somewhere there on a similar path.
But soon I realized now I had grown
capacity to bear more pain and shame as well.
* * * * *
Love not
Love not if you do not love you.
* * * * *
Lots of love
Lots of love will give you lots of pain.
* * * * *
A window and a wall
I saw
the window but I saw no wall.
The open window greeted me to look
through.
I saw promises and hopes waiting for me there.
I was
very glad receiving such invitation of life.
I was in a hurry to
hug life waiting for me.
Eagerly searching for a door now I
walked
all along a concrete wall but found no door.
Wanting
to comeback to the open window
I realized, I had already lost the
window also.
Now you stood before me; a silent wall
as I
continued to run to and fro impatiently
searching the lost window,
searching a door;
while hiding its open window the wall elongated
* * * * *
Death isn’t
Death is not a solution but poetry is.
* * * * *
Peace without
A life is peaceful without someone we desire.
* * * * *
The end of a life
That
was probably a Sunday
or a Monday
No, Tuesday.
could be a
Wednesday also.
could be a Thursday, Friday
or Saturday.
Well,
that was a day.
No,
that was
not a day only because
it was full of sunshine.
In my life it
was a cool dark night.
I was feeling cool. I
felt feverish.
It could be 100,102 or 104-degree
fahrenheit.
I stood for a while on a
platform
as long as I could.
Watching the train going far away
taking you from my life, finally.
This train was so destined
to come
to take you from me forever.
No, I’m mistaken
again.
You never belonged to me.
We were mere companion
in a
journey
to forget each other too soon.
A fellow
companion in life
can no way and never be said
belonged.
Everyone
forgets and so I was to.
No claim sustains not to forget.
My
inability was only my concern.
No need to explain that I was
now
completely broken.
I
could not hold my pieces anymore
so I laid my worthless life
breathing
hot air onto a public bench nearby.
This
was the end of an episode
but for a while I thought it was
end
of a life.
No, it was indeed an end of a life
if life is not
the sum total of breaths.
This was also an end of an
assignment
self endorsed.
So I felt free from a burden
which
I carried against my will
since so long.
No, I carried that
burden willingly
because no one else compelled me
except my
heart.
Only I knew no way how to
put aside a commitment
made
to myself.
Now I was freed from that burden
that too against my
will.
Lying on the bench perhaps
for a while I thought
now
it was time for me to think
what would I do next with me.
But
I was feeling too sleepy,
too weak to think anymore
so I fell
into deep slumber
to awake into a new world
to start living a
life without you.
* * * * *
Token of love
Had you only plenty of complaints
against me!
Had you only showered
very angry words on me!
Had you only cursed me
in presence of our friends.
Had you only done
just anything one does
when betrayed
I could lastly somehow reinforce
my first belief that you loved me.
But nothing happened as such
when I opened the door for your exit.
Your silent escape from my life
had only reinforced
my doubt instead.
* * * * *
A very confusing wish
I wish never to walk, never again to pass through
a few lanes in my life before it is time for me to die.
Time and again, to and fro, I crossed them with you
a different man with a different soul years ago.
I wish never to revisit those places where you killed
my innocent love for you strangling day after day.
I wish never to go there before I come to know
this is finally time for me to actually die.
* * * * *
Did not match
Looking through the rear window of my life
Now I understand I fell too short to become
your beloved in your measuring stick of love.
You loved love, which is not spoken out.
As I opened my mouth about my love
my eligibility for your love decreased.
You believed in love, which is only rewarded.
You wanted me to run fast to win your love.
but what you wanted was your trade secret.