Handbook for Survival in the Nineties and Especially the New Millennium
by Craig Lock
Copyright 2007 Craig Lock
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Bill Rosoman
PO Box 4155
Hamilton East 3247
New Zealand
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ISBN 978-1-927157-14-5
Table of Contents
Chapter Three Where are you Coming From?
Other Books that may interest you
A collection of writings on various subjects to help the every man or woman survive in a rapidly changing, uncertain world after the easy living and prosperity of the seventies and eighties, (especially for me living in South Africa under apartheid).
About the Author
Craig Lock was born in Cape Town, South Africa where he spent most of his life. He graduated from the University of South Africa and since then has been working in the corporate world in South Africa, Australia and New Zealand. He is presently living in the slow lane in New Zealand with his twin boys, where they have been for the past six years. They live in a small town where from his perspective nothing very much happens (but don't say that to the locals!) - the reason why Craig has been able to pursue a career in writing full-time for the past year.
His works include a novel about South Africa and his latest epic describing his efforts to be a tourist as he bumbles around Europe in his youth ...creating chaos and mayhem. He has also written a more serious book about stress and another, at times humorous, book about money management, drawing on his many years in this field. He has also written articles for magazines.
He is a sports fanatic/maniac and an avid traveller. This is his first book to be published.
"I'm gonna fly from my cocoon
And put my footsteps on the moon.
All I've ever hoped to be
Is free to be that person... me!"
Anon
Acknowledgements
If writing is 10 per cent inspiration and 90% perspiration ( a statement with which I wholeheartedly agree!), I would like to thank my dear wife*, Marie and my secretary, Pamela Francois for doing the excellent job in editing and typing this manuscript. Also great thanks to Birgitta of Minerva Press in London for the excellent job in editing and adding many commas to my original transcript.
In this work I acknowledge the excellent material from the NZI Life Training programme which was produced by
LYALL LUKEY RESOURCES in Auckland, New
Zealand, especially in the fields of goals and motivation. It has helped me greatly. Much of my research has been substantially based on developing these concepts.
* At the time. I did say that the aspirations of a new writer has extreme stresses...and we certainly paid the price.
Acknowledgements to the following people:
Dr Abraham Maslow
Earl Nightingale
Zig Zigler
Alan Lakein
Dr Maxwell Maltz
and especially,
Dr Denis Waitley
All these writers (especially Lyall Lukey's and Waitley's work) gave me many original ideas to develop, as well as great inspiration in my insurance career here in New Zealand. They also gave me inspiration to start this work, while the courage to venture into a totally new field came from within... as everyone has it in them- a lot more than they may think they have!
I would also like to thank my dear parents, Ray and Hazel for sacrificing so much for my education and instilling in me an inquiring mind.
I would like to thank my wife (at the time) Marie for introducing me to reading. Before I met a "foozy"bookworm like you, I never read much at all. So you have helped open up a whole new world to me. Also thank you New Zealand, a beautiful and tranquil country, for giving me the peace of mind away from the stresses of daily living in big cities - to think clearly enough to write this manuscript.
This work is dedicated to my dear boys Gareth and Sean who have brought me so much happiness. Thanks Marie for the time and effort you put in. I'm sorry our partnership didn't work out. But especially my heartfelt thanks for hopefully allowing me to find my niche in life...at long long last.
Gisborne, New Zealand
August, 1993
Introduction
My friends say that I had a very varied, unusual and interesting life... and they have always said that I should write a book. I suppose we all have a tale to tell, but most people don't have the time or inclination to do it.
Like all of us, my life has had it's ups and downs. I hope that my experiences and writings might help in some small way those people who could be finding things not too easy in the rapidly changing uncertain nineties (and especially as we approach the new millennium). As one humorist put it, many of us are "sliding down the razor-blade of life". Having got out of the rat race of the corporate world, I find the peace and tranquility of New Zealand especially conducive to thinking about life and writing.
I have written this manuscript in the form of subjects coming from my personal experiences in these fields. I then did quite a bit of research on the theoretical side with many, many hours spent in the excellent HB Williams Library here in Gisborne.
I am a South African, "sort of" still married to a New Zealander, living in beautiful New Zealand and have a Bachelor of Arts Degree (majors in sociology and psychology) from the University of Cape Town. I have spent my entire working career in the life assurance field in South Africa and in New Zealand and have always felt a bit of a "square peg in a round whole" in this conservative working environment.
I hadn't developed my knowledge and interest in psychology and human behaviour until very recently. Now while I have the time and inclination, I am trying to apply the theoretical knowledge (learnt but lain dormant for many years) to real life experiences. My interest in this field has been stimulated by substantial reading on these subjects and this exercise has been a real learning experience for me.
But more importantly, I hope some of this information may be of help to those people who are not coping at present, those having some sort of life crisis, or those simply feeling a bit down.
My "wife" Marie (who has a heart of gold) is a registered nurse. We and our twin boys, aged 9, have a house overlooking a beautiful beach in Makorori just outside Gisborne on New Zealand's East Coast. We have done a substantial amount of travelling all over the world on a shoestring budget. In fact, we met in London nearly twenty- five years ago in a communal house. I was the pampered undomesticated South-African who needed looking after by a down-to-earth Kiwi.
Most of our travels were done before the birth of our twin boys, however we manage quite a bit with them in tow
...because nothing much phases them having such eccentric parents!
"I find the concepts in this book useful in my own life."
Birgitta (Minerva Press UK)
Chapter One What is Success?
"To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by
a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social
condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you
have lived;
This is to have succeeded."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
"If a man is called to be a street-sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well
that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper
who did his job well."
Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Success is the progressive realisation of worthwhile predetermined goals.
Success is being the you that you want to be."
"Success is simply a matter of luck,
ask any failure."
Someone else said, I can't remember who, that the measure of a person's success was how well they got out of the messes they had got into. Having had a few strange situations and extricated myself in the course of my life, I like that one.
The first step should be change your thinking attitude from negative to positive (through the technique of visualisation).
"As a man thinketh, so will he act."
- the Bible
If you think you are a King or Queen
If you think you are unworthy or insignificant you will act so.
If you write a book entitled
"How to Fail"
and it fails, is it a success?
Are you a success?
Never underestimate the value of an idea. Every positive idea has within it the potential for success. You can make your dreams come true if you become a possibility thinker.
Nobody is a total failure if he or she dares to do something worthwhile. Don't waste the most precious thing in the world- a good idea. Don't waste good moments and opportunities. How can I write about success when I'm embarking on a totally new adventure...when I have made many mistakes and crazy decisions in my life? However, I suppose we have been successful in our "careers", which has allowed us to have a comfortable lifestyle with material rewards, as well as the opportunity for world travel. Marie and I have both travelled extensively since we started work and met many unforgettable characters. Recently our twin boys, Gareth and Sean have been taken along (luckily nothing much phases them!). My career has always been a means to an end rather than an end in itself, which is perhaps a little bit strange. I suppose it is a very personal thing. People here in Gisborne think we are very successful with a millionaire-type lifestyle and our close friends in South Africa think we are amazing, but mad. Other people who know us think we are spoilt, rich pseudo-liberals, who inherited mountains of money to indulge in a globe trotting lifestyle. The truth is we arrived here in New Zealand three years ago with absolutely nothing. So whether successful or not, I am going to start with the concept of success. Others would laugh at the thought of me writing a book. What a crazy idiot!
However, success is such a personal thing. What is success in one person's terms isn't in another's. Is it financial or being a good person who helps humanity? Is it spiritual fulfilment or perhaps being a good parent?
For me success is being true to yourself and doing what your heart tells you to do, standing up for what you believe in and spreading a little ray of sunshine, wherever you go. It is also being the YOU THAT YOU WANT TO BE, however humble, or whatever occupation - whether you are a lawyer or labourer.
It also means growing mentally every day and developing yourself personally to make the world a slightly better place by your presence. You don't have to make waves, but a ripple might help in the scheme of things. If enough people make small ripples, it turns into a torrent which can change society for the better. Stirrer!
I don't like the standard definition of success:
Success is the progressive realisation of a predetermined goal.
This sounds too highfalutin for me!
What is success for you personally?
What does it mean to you?
"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away."
H. Thoreau
These lovely words underlie the fact that success is a very personal thing. It means different things to every person depending on their inner values.
First make up your mind about what you really want- what you desire most out of life. Then the plans we make to achieve our dreams are the blueprints for success.
Success is the progressive achievement of worthwhile goals. I believe it is more the journey than the destination, however it is important to enjoy the accomplishment of each passing milestone along the way.
How will you know at the end of the year that you have been successful?
"That person is a success who has lived well, laughed often & loved much & given of their best."
Having money in itself is not being successful - it is a by- product of success.
THE GOOD LIFE
1. HEALTH - Enough to make work a pleasure.
2. WEALTH- Enough to support your needs.
3. STRENGTH- Enough to battle with difficulties and overcome them.
4. GRACE- Enough to confess your sins and forsake them.
5. PATIENCE- Enough to toil until some good is accomplished.
6. CHARITY- Enough to see some good in your neighbour.
7. LOVE- Enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others.
8. FAITH- Enough to make real the things of God.
9. HOPE- Enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.
THE RECIPE FOR SUCCESS IN WORK:
A clear-cut Vision or Goal.
Commitment to and Belief in the Goal.
Use of Innovation (innovative methods) to achieve the Goal.
Marketing innovation (new markets, new marketing methods)
Technical innovation (new products, new production methods).
Effective use of Resources (people, money, technology to effect innovation).
Optimism, positive thinking and a Willingness to Take Risks.
Enjoyment in pursuing the Goal.
Provision of Value for Money.
Willingness to build a foundation for Long Term Benefits.
HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL
# Dream big dreams
#Love doing what you do
#Listen to the advice of your partner or spouse (who knows
you better than anyone else)
#Seek help from those whose skills you don't have
#Believe you are a winner
#Have a goal and plan to achieve
#Work harder and smarter
#Fly with the eagles, don't scratch with the turkeys.
#Be prepared to take calculated risks
#Be aware of peaks and valleys
# Accept opportunities are always there
(problems are opportunities in disguise)
#Right location
# Promote your product
#Provide excellent services
#Satisfy customer needs
#Adequate management reporting
#Be honest- with your integrity beyond doubt.
#Be decisive
#Be determined and self-disciplined.
The essence of success is being successful as a whole person, i.e.. achieving a balance in all spheres of your life: personal, family and work.
"A man can make use of his powers only if he knows what they are, how to use them and what to use them for..."
Erich Fromm
Utilise your full potential - "Don't go to the grave with your best song unsong."
Are you singing your best song yet?
How to do it?
Set
GOALS
ACTIVITIES
+
TIME
+
ACTION PLAN
+
SELF DISCIPLINE
=
SUCCESS!
Chapter Two Motivation
"It is a funny thing about life; if you accept to refuse
anything but the best, you very often get it."
-
Somerset Maugham
"Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice."
-
Anon.
What motivates us to do the things that we do? Why do we think and behave as we do? What influences people to do what they do? The word "motivation" means different things to different people. One thing for sure is that you can't buy a jar of it: it has to come from within yourself . A person's brain needs constant motivational input just as muscles need exercise, engines need petrol and plants need water.
I used to think that motivation was a slick American fad and that it wasn't for me. After all, I was very motivated already!
People are the product of their thoughts and the aim of motivational material is to improve the quality of your thoughts. Motivation is nothing more than encouragement and we all perform better for it. Friends of mine say that I am a good motivator, because I simply encourage others.
"We become what we think about all day long."
- Emerson
"Most people think only what everybody else is doing."
- Earl Nightingale
With this work I have radically changed direction in trying to earn a living and do something I have always wanted to. I don't know where it will lead. However, I am more motivated than I have ever been. I am typing this on a Sunday afternoon.
The road to achievement starts with a goal. Implant that goal in your mind and think about it all day long. I am doing that with this manuscript and my goal is to have it published and be an author. I think I have taken the right action steps so far, so that I eventually reach my target.
Pay the price by making sacrifices. Take small steps towards your goal every day, instead of occasional bursts of activity.
The principal difference between the average person and the one who is highly successful seems to be in the degree of his or her personal motivation. Motivation is the hidden power in the successful person's arsenal and is the key
ingredient for success. Most people, I believe are motivated or have the potential if they are aroused and interested in the activity.
However, one thing is for sure: It is not something someone else can give you. It must be self-generated from within; it is not external "RA RA" hype. In other words, motivation is an inner energy, rather than a fire lit by others.
Strong motivation also stems from a deep rooted belief in what you are trying to do; it is strongest when it comes from your inner values. This creates a feeling of ENTHUSIASM which is essential in order to remain motivated. Look at the zeal of a missionary or a Jehovah's Witness. The best salesmen are those who get very excited about and have total faith in their products. They sell with a firm conviction that their product is the best available.
WHAT ARE THE MAIN SOURCES OF MOTIVATION?
What influences people to do as they do? There are many diverse influences. It is difficult to pin-point which one is most important, but some factors are as follows: different cultures, social environment and biological influences (e.g.. hunger, thirst) in work and in play. Other influences are our thoughts, our perceptions. Everyone is different and unique, so there are great individual differences in our drives.
There are two main sources of motivation: What will happen if you do? What will happen if you don't . For example, your doctor advises you to give up smoking. If you do, you will feel better and live longer; if you don't your health is going to deteriorate. Both sources (and implications) are equally powerful.
There is a strong correlation between motivation and achievement. Highly motivated people are nearly always achievers. Thrill seekers like sky-divers and stuntmen often need to do life threatening activities to keep them motivated. Danger gives them pleasure and keeps them motivated.
Why do we work? Is it just for money or is money merely a short-term issue? I am personally not motivated by money. I prefer interesting and exciting work that offers a challenge and the opportunity for personal growth. Others may feel the need for affiliation or to contribute to society. In the following chapter there is an exercise on this.
Understanding motivation gives us the power to accept our behaviour when we have strange reactions. It can also enable us to change what we think and do if we want to improve our behaviour or performance. So when going for a job it is critical to understand your motivations. What do you really want and expect from it? What do others expect of you? Our behaviour is directly affected by our needs. If you are clear about the answers you will be happiest.
THEORIES OF MOTIVATION:
There are three main theories of motivation:
1.Desire for achievement
2. Desire for power
3.Desire for affiliation or sense of belonging.
These theories are linked to the concept of extrinsic and intrinsic rewards. Extrinsic motivation comes from outside, for example, the prospect of fame, recognition, monetary rewards, gaining power, respect or social approval/belonging (=sense of affiliation). With intrinsic rewards, the task or situation is in itself motivating or compelling. Motivation is often defined in terms of our goals. Marie says that contributing to society by daring to be different is what motivates me- strange! I think that I get bored easily without a challenge. Enough about "little old me"!
There are six main steps or elements in the process of motivation.
Desire: Firstly, to be motivated you must have an intense burning desire to get where or what you want.
Decision: You must make a conscious decision on what to aim for.
Determination: to climb mountains so that absolutely nothing will stop you. You need to be able to repeat the habits which are necessary to get there.
Discipline: It is critical to pay the price whether you like it or not. Motivation is strongest when it is the internalisation of your goals and dreams, in other words, when you are headed on a clear path in your life's direction.
Focus
Direction
Professional salespeople, like top athletes, have the constant challenge to reach and sustain an optimum level of motivation which overcomes problems and brings results. If there is no challenge in what you are doing, motivation will soon wither and die.
Always remember:
The buck starts -and stops- with you.
Self knowledge is the key to self-motivation:
- why do we behave as we do?
- what makes us tick?
Also critical for motivation is the image or snapshot you have of yourself. This is based on your inner belief in yourself as well as your attitude and views of your strengths and weaknesses. If you believe in yourself and expect success, you will act confidently and be highly motivated.
Key Points:
* We must define success for ourselves.
* Be aware of our own strengths and weaknesses.
* Your personal solutions lie within you.
* To sustain motivation, do better than in the past.
* Motivation often comes from a challenge.
* It is necessary at times to make a positive out of a negative.
* The most important thing for an achievement-orientated
person
is to have a clear goal.
What comes first? The chicken or the egg? Motivation or
action?
The answer surprisingly is Action.
Firstly, we have to prime the pump and the way is through action. People who tend to procrastinate confuse motivation and action.
MASLOW'S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS
SELF ACTUALISATION NEEDS
(self fulfilment)
Hierarchy of Needs:
Ascending levels of motivation.
Basic needs are both physiological and psychological
Physiological needs are the strongest- and the easiest to satisfy.
Needs are a combination of natural and learned factors.
At this stage in your career, which level are you mainly concerned with? Once you meet the basic security needs, it is essential to keep raising the level of motivation.
Operating at Different Levels:
An individual may move progressively through each level and as one need is met, another arises. Alternatively, he or she can work simultaneously at more than one level. However, I believe Maslow's triangle is a rather simplistic view, because people are more complex than that. There are grey areas and a person can be on more than one level at the same time. Also, it is hard to tell when you move from one stage to the next, as it's an ongoing process. Motivation is an extremely complex subject.
More questions? Oh no, not more work!
What Motivated You Two Years Ago?
Were you aware of your motivations, or were you just
drifting?
What Motivates You Now?
If it is fear of failure, make a conscious mental shift and think in terms of the rewards of success.
The Importance of Self Motivation:
You have to open your mind, while ideas and desires can be aroused from the outside,(e.g. advertising).
Fanning the flames of your desires will increase your personal awareness and self motivation.
How do you maintain motivation?
* By wanting to grow personally.
* Being open to new challenges.
* By breaking out of your comfort zones.
There is nothing like a new challenge, a new goal to re- energise you. Once you master a new challenge, boredom sets in. As Earl Nightingale says, "coral flourishes not in the calm lagoon, but at the cutting edge of life where the waves strike the reef." People who radically change career often experience high levels of work satisfaction, if they have a large degree of independence, even if their status and income are uncertain for a while. That's me for sure!
All employees and sports-people hit plateux, bad patches or slumps at various times, but perseverance and motivation can lift you- it is never too late to change, no matter how long you have been down. However, strong motivation requires effort, a conscious control over our attitudes and a willingness to improving ourselves by personal growth. In a word, it requires CHARACTER.
The best athletes continue to train, no matter how. Think positively. The great Australian swimmer, Dawn Fraser said: "I won more races in the locker room than in the pool. The same sentiments were echoed by champion American Olympic sprinter, Carl Lewis.
"Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"We must not change the world, but our own thinking; by so doing we will change the world."
Very true!
We are all capable of doing infinitely more. Most people use less than 10 per cent of their intellectual potential (their brain).
Unlock your potential: Most people really only put in the minimum of effort needed to get by. However, everyone has masses of untapped reserves of strength that they do not usually call on...as well as:
* Knowledge
* Energy
* Imagination
* Strength and
* Stamina
For example, the person being chased by a lion or a child lifting a heavy weight to free a trapped person.
Fear Versus Desire Motivation
Always remember: most troubles and desires never happen.
Motivation is a positive drive moving us towards what we desire, while fear is an inhibitor. Fear is a block which prevents us being creative and productive. The "stick" is a very temporary and not an effective and long lasting motivator.
"A dream without a plan is wishful thinking; A plan without a dream is boring routine.
A plan, linked to a dream, and you have the potential to change not only your life, but those around you."
Brian Willersdorf,
Australian motivational speaker
"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be.
Now put the foundations under them."