It’s Too Late For A Lot Of Things
“You need a woman,” Ben told his best friend while he swept up the food court at the mall once it became slow.
Jack sighed, shaking his head at him. His intentions were good, so he didn’t drop his French fries container on the floor right away. But he was persistent and annoying about it. Especially lately.
Casually, he flicked the empty container onto the floor, watching as Ben swept it up still shaking his head at him.
“Just because you’re happy with Rain, doesn’t mean I’m not happy,” Jack told him as Ben sat in front of him.
“I’m not happy, Jack. I’m in love. And when I’m not in trouble for something I have no idea what I did, life is good,” Ben joked.
Jack laughed as he saw Rain on her way over to pick up Ben so they could go out for a late lunch.
“Hello, Jack,” she smiled, hugging him lightly before taking Ben’s hand to lead him away.
“Later,” Ben smiled, faithfully following Rain.
Jack put in ear buds and opened a book, hoping to get some reading done before the mall closed for the night.
“Jack?” Ice asked, touching her friend’s shoulders lightly.
He jumped, taking the music from his ears.
“Sorry. What brings you here?”
“Lily and I are just wasting time before the movie starts. You wanna come?” she asked.
“No, that’s ok.”
“What are you reading?” Lily asked, taking the seat across from him.
“Just brushing up on anatomy. I got accepted to U of M,” he revealed.
“For med school?” Ice asked happily.
He nodded as she hugged him.
“God, congratulations!” Lily smiled, noticing he was warm. “Hey, you got a fever.”
“Just fighting the flu. Nothing major.”
“You promise?” Ice asked.
He nodded.
“Damn. The movie’s starting soon. See you later, Jack,” Ice said, taking Lily’s hand.
Ben and Rain had known each other since they were six and had lived next door to each other. Ice was Rain’s sister and was dating Lily whom she loved very much. Jack had been the odd man out for the past three years as his friends all started dating their freshman year.
Now, as Seniors as soon as the summer ended, if he could keep up his perfect grades, he’d be out of this city.
He didn’t need a woman. He needed a life first so he’d have something concrete to offer one.
He eventually passed out where he sat, unable to fight the fever that was kicking his ass.
“Jack?” Ben asked, shaking him a little. “God, he’s on fire.”
Rain took out her cell and called his mother who was a nurse and would be able to handle getting him home.
“She’s on her way,” Rain told Ben. “He looks awful.”
“And he’s out, too. I can’t wake him,” Ben said, obviously worried.
“Why don’t you get some air, ok? I’ll watch him.”
“No, damn it. I can’t just leave, Rain!” he yelled.
“Alright, ok. I’m sorry. I just don’t like seeing you upset,” she said gently, hoping he’d calm down.
Jack’s mother, nurse Anna, walked in a few minutes later and smiled sadly at her son.
“Fever. Damn, this boy never gets sick,” she sighed, kneeling next to him. “Jack?” she asked gently.
Silence.
“Yeah, we couldn’t wake him, either,” Ben said quietly as Rain put her hand on his shoulder.
“Ben, would you get me a cold washcloth or paper towel?” she asked him calmly.
He nodded. “Sure.”
“Anything I can do?” Rain asked softly.
“Not at the moment. Are you alright?”
Rain nodded slightly. It’d only been about six months since she’d lost her best friend, and although she knew Jack wasn’t dying, it was still painful to see someone she cared about this way.
Ben returned with the paper towel that was ice cold and watched as his mother dabbed Jack’s forehead with it.
When he stirred, she smiled.
“Jack,” she said gently.
He looked at her and sat up, his head on fire.
“I didn’t realize I fell asleep,” he admitted.
“That’s alright. Let’s get you home,” she told him, as Ben helped him stand.
Once he was on his way home, Ben looked at Rain.
“Are you alright?” he asked.
“No! God, that was Jack!” she cried, sitting at the table where he was.
When she buried her face in her hands, he was unable to comfort her at first.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.
She looked at him and wiped her eyes.
“I know you’re not alright either.”
He shook his head.
“I need to call it a night,” he added.
Ice saw her sister sitting on her bed in tears and went in to see what was going on.
“You and Ben have a fight?” she asked, sitting on her bed.
“No. We got done with dinner and went to see if Jack wanted to do something. God, I don’t like the fact he’s alone. But he had passed out at the table and we couldn’t wake him. We had to call his mom who had to get a cold paper towel to do the trick,” Rain said sadly.
“Oh, no. The two worst people to find him,” she said, hugging her sister a little. “Are you ok?”
“No. It got me thinking about Vi and how it ended with her. I know Jack’s not dying or anything, but…it brought back awful memories.”
Ice nodded. “How’s Ben?”
“He lost it, too. I know he remembers his parents more than he cares to admit to us, and it still stings when he realizes he doesn’t go home to a normal house but to one run by someone from the city.
“We couldn’t…find comfort in one another tonight and that was heartbreaking, too,” she said quietly.
“I’ll check on Jack tomorrow. Why don’t you and Ben talk things out while I’m doing that?” she offered.
Rain nodded. “Sure. Thanks, Ice.”
Ben looked out his window and saw Ice comforting Rain like a sister should. At least she’s got someone to talk to.
He wasn’t kidding before when he told Jack to find a girl. Being in love was amazing, and he knew Rain was it for him. With his insecurities, he wasn’t sure how she felt about him, however.
The next morning, Ice knocked on Jack’s door, surprised to see him answering it himself.
“Shouldn’t you be in bed?” she asked, letting herself in.
“No one else is home. And I know you: you aren’t going away,” he said, heading back to the couch.
She grinned.
“Why are you here?”
“You scared the hell out of Ben and Rain,” she said, taking the chair next to him.
“Oh, right. I didn’t mean to. It’s just the damn flu,” he promised.
“I know. That’s why I’m here. You need anything?” she offered.
“Just sleep,” he promised.
“Alright. Well, I’m going to go to the store and pick you up some juice and soup. That always makes me feel better. You care if I let myself in?” she asked.
“No,” he said quietly, almost asleep again anyway.
She walked to the store just down the block, hoping she had enough for what he was going to need.
When her phone rang, and it was Lily, she smiled.
“Where are you? I thought we had plans,” she said, her tone telling Ice she was a little hurt.
“I’m just checking on Jack. Right now I’m getting him some soup and juice. You wanna help? You’re so much better at this nurturing thing than I am.”
She laughed. “Do you even know what kind of juice and soup to get him?”
“No,” she realized, looking up from the selection of soups.
“I’ll be there in a minute,” she grinned, hanging up.
While she was waiting for Lily, Ben and Rain were talking in his backyard hoping to smooth things over.
Instead of Lily waiting at an intersection to get across the street, it was Jack.
“Stay there!” she told him, unable to move because of the heavy traffic.
I raced past her, dodging cars with cat-like reflexes and speed as I tackled the large boy out of the road, noticing he had a high fever.
Because of his size, I had to hit hard in order to knock him to the ground, and unfortunately, he cracked his head open a little upon our impact.
“Who’re you?” he asked tiredly.
My necklace fell onto him as I ran away from his friend in case she was pissed at me for hurting her friend.
“Jack! What the hell were you thinking?” she demanded, kneeling next to him.
He didn’t even realize he was outside, and she had no choice now. With his head split open, she called for an ambulance.
“Who was that?” he asked her, slowly sitting up.
“I don’t know. But she saved your life you big hallucinating idiot,” she grinned, watching me go.
“She left her necklace,” he realized, picking it up.
It was a simple silver chain with a dark blue marble at the end of it that looked like the Earth.
“The world on a string,” he smiled, putting it into his pocket as Lily found them there next still waiting on the ambulance.
“Are you alright?” she asked, dabbing his small cut with some tissues she had in her purse.
He nodded.
“At least your mom can take a better look at you,” Ice sighed.
“She loves me,” he told her.
“She’s paid to,” she fired back, grinning a little.
After he left, Lily looked at her.
“Did he actually wait for the light to change?” she asked Ice.
“No. A girl about our age raced past me, dodged like six cars and tackled him to the ground so he wouldn’t get hit. It’s how he got his head cut open,” she revealed.
“Where’d she go?”
“She took off when she saw me coming. I guess I looked pissed. I was, but not at her. She saved his life.”
“You want to find her, don’t you?” Lily asked.
“I’ve never seen anyone so…hey,” she said, looking at the ground.
Tiny droplets of blood were splattered on the sidewalk from where I had taken off.
“Was she hurt?” Lily wondered.
“She didn’t act like it.”
“Jack?” Lily asked, hoping he’d wake.
It’d been a few days since he’d been here, and he was having trouble staying awake when he did wake.
But as of a few hours ago he was feeling better.
“Hey,” he said, his voice even sounding better.
“God you scared us.”
“This is the first time I’ve been sick in years,” he reminded her.
“I know.”
“You ever…find that girl who dropped the necklace?” he wondered.
“No.”
“Damn.”
“Why?” she asked.
“I can’t get her out of my head. I’ve had dreams about her every night. Lily, I think…I think she’s in trouble.”
“Trouble? How?”
“I don’t know. But if you do find her, please don’t ignore her or scare her or something.”
“I’m not the one you have to worry about,” she pointed out.
He nodded. “Tell your girl, too.”
She smiled.
Ben, Rain, Lily and Ice sat up at the store’s parking lot the next day wondering if I’d show up.
“Why are we here?” Ben asked in annoyance.
“Because your best friend asked us to,” Rain grinned.
“I feel like this is slightly illegal somehow,” he told them.
Ice chuckled until she saw me in the parking lot.
“That’s her,” she said, noticing the bright yellow and black striped hoodie I was wearing.
“She tackled Jack?” Ben asked in disbelief. “She’s tall, but she’s way too skinny.”
He started for me against Ice’s wishes, and none of them could move.
“Hey!” he called, clearly unafraid of anything.
Me, on the other hand, I have got my reasons for doing what I did next.
I tried to run, but he grabbed my hood and tried to pull me closer, so I elbowed him in the ribs. Hard. The wind was knocked out of him as he stepped back from me, struggling to catch his breath.
“Damn it,” he coughed, looking up at me from his crouching position.
When I saw Rain coming to make sure he was alright, I was gone.
“I told you. She’s a scrapper,” Ice warned as Rain helped Ben stand.
“No kidding,” he said, needing some water.
He sipped water in front of the building while the girls searched the parking lot in vain.
“Jack’s going to be mad at you,” Ice taunted playfully.
“Why?”
“Because she’s in his head.”
“No girl gets into Jack’s head. All he thinks about is school and going to a different one after he graduates,” Ben told her.
“Not the way he tells it,” Lily smiled. “He’s having dreams about her.”
“Jack? Wow,” Rain said, sounding relieved.
“Why?” Ben asked.
“Because he thinks she’s in trouble.”
Rain shook her head in slight amusement.
“I think he’s right,” Ben said lowly. “She had a black eye when she looked at me. And bandages on her chest from where the hoodie was pulled away.”
“You looked at her chest?” Rain asked.
“I saw bandages. They caught my attention,” he insisted.
“There were blood droplets where she was after saving Jack,” Ice added. “We’re pretty sure they’re from her.”
They were quiet, lost in thought.
“What do we do?” Rain asked after a few minutes.
“I don’t know. She comes and goes the same way every time. Maybe she lives around here,” Ice pointed out.
“So we go looking?” Lily asked.
“I didn’t have anything else planned today,” Ben joked, looking at Rain.
“I was gonna cancel after the chest-looking anyway,” she grinned, slapping his arm playfully.
“Bandages!” he protested as the four of them walked to where they had seen me last.
“I guess we’ll just follow the trail. It’s still there a little,” Ice said sadly, leading the way.
They walked for blocks until they realized they were in a very, very bad area they’d always tended to avoid.
The sun had set now, and the air was turning colder as the buildings were turning darker. The neon lights couldn’t save this part of the city, and they needed to leave before they were taken into the darkness as well.
“This could go on for miles,” Ben told Ice who nodded.
“I’ll let Jack know tomorrow,” she sighed as they turned around.
“Try to leave out the part where I’m an ass,” Ben told her.
“And where he got his ass kicked,” Lily added.
Rain chuckled until she saw my hoodie in the distance being thrown into a dumpster.
She watched a man drive off in a red car, pretending to be unaware of what she saw until he drove away.
“Hey,” she said quietly. “This way.”
“What’s going on?” Ice asked.
“That man in the red car just dropped off her hoodie in the dumpster,” she said, her voice shaking.
Ben stopped them and opened the lid, using his pocket keychain flashlight to peer inside.
“Oh, man. Someone call an ambulance!” he yelled, hopping in.
My Own Slice Of Heaven If You Will
After he jumped down, he noticed the old and new wounds and bruises he hadn’t seen before.
Shakily, he checked for a pulse and was surprised when he found one.
“We’re gonna get you out of here,” he promised as Ice jumped in and knelt next to me as well.
“Looks like Jack was right,” she said sadly.
I looked at them in confusion.
“Just…I need to move you,” Ben told me.
“I’m sorry,” I said tiredly as he and Ice got me out of the dumpster.
Rain had just hung up with an ambulance as Ice laid me on the sidewalk hoping I’d make it that long.
I was out, and as Lily looked at my wounds, Ice could see it haunted her, too.
“Is she still alive?” Ben asked Ice, unable to move.
She checked my pulse and nodded as they heard sirens in the distance.
“Thank god,” Lily said happily.
“What happened, kids?” the paramedic asked them a few minutes later.
“We don’t know. Just get her to the hospital, ok? She needs medical attention,” Ice told him.
He nodded. “Fair enough.”
Jack was talking with his mother on his way out the door when I was rushed in past them.
“I need to attend to this. I’ll see you at home, son,” she told him, rushing to the back towards the ICU.
He was halfway home when his phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Jack, we found the girl,” Ice said quietly.
“I know. She’s at the hospital now,” he sighed. “What happened?”
“I don’t now. We have bits and pieces. You wanna sort it out tomorrow?” she offered.
He nodded. “Sure.”
She knocked on his door early the next morning with the rest of them in tow.
“I at least made coffee and got donuts as a peace offering,” Jack said, letting them in.
Ben wasn’t a morning person by any means, and although he loved his best friend, he hated him right now.
“We saw her in the parking lot and Ben tried to talk to her,” Ice began, pouring a mug of coffee.
“She elbowed him in the ribs for it, too,” Rain added, hoping Jack wouldn’t be too mad at him.
“So what else?” Jack wondered.
“There was a blood trail she left that we followed deep into the city. We were about to give up when Rain noticed a man dumping her into a dumpster. Ice and Ben got her out and called an ambulance,” Lily said quietly.
“So we don’t actually know what happened,” Ben told him.
Jack sighed. “At least I know where she is. And I have a reason to go and visit her.”
“You should,” Ben nodded.
“I’ll ask my mom about her when she gets home. At least she doesn’t have that stupid doctor/patient confidentiality thing,” he added.
“I don’t know if it’s relevant or anything, but she did wake when I said your name,” Ice told Jack.
“Oh, yeah,” Ben agreed. “I did think that was neat.”
When Anna walked in a few minutes later, she looked beat.
“We saved you some coffee, mom,” Jack offered.
“You only want me to stay awake after a shift when you need to talk. What’s going on?” she asked, reaching for a mug.
“The girl who came in by ambulance as I was leaving. Who was she?”
“Jack…I’m begging you, son. Don’t go down that road, ok? That child is not like the rest of you.”
“What do you mean?” Ben asked.
“She’s not well. And I doubt she’ll be here another year,” she told them sadly.
“Mom…what do you know about her?”
“Nothing I’d like to discuss in pleasant company, Jack. Her world is something only seen in the worst circumstances. And I know you, son. You wish to save everyone,” she said, setting the mug down so she could go to bed.
“Not everyone,” he said to himself.
He went to his room and grabbed my necklace from his desk drawer before heading outside where Rain and Ice were still hanging around.
“Going to the hospital?” Ice asked.
He nodded.
“Jack…you’re just going to get hurt and end up alone again,” Rain warned.
“What’s better, Rain? Getting to know someone you know isn’t going to be there, or knowing they’re not and ignoring them because of it?” he asked.
She thought of Vi and nodded. “I’ll be here when it all comes undone,” she told him sadly, as the two of them watched him walk away.
I would wake to a familiar scent, and as my eyes adjusted, I realized it was the guy I had tackled almost a week ago.
“I just wanted to return your necklace,” he said, handing it to me.
I looked at him, not knowing what to say.
“I also wanted to thank you for saving my life,” he added, looking like there was other things he wanted to add but couldn’t.
When I fell back asleep, he didn’t want to leave.
“Jack!” Anna cried, startling him. “I told you to leave the girl alone.”
“I can’t!”
Her tone softened. “Oh, son. Her?”
He said nothing and walked out of the room as Anna looked at me in confusion.
I’d recover from my wounds alone and be released into the care of the state, ending up at Ben’s foster home until someone could reach a relative or a parent.
Right now, there were four people altogether. Because I was the only girl, I got the smallest room in the basement where I’d get some privacy when people weren’t waiting on their laundry.
I sat on my new bed staring at my necklace for a long time wondering too many things.
Eventually, I fell asleep, not having anything to unpack anyway. The foster parent was now waiting on a check from the state so she could get me clothes and other things I was going to need because mine had burned down while I was in the hospital.
When Ben knocked on my door, and I didn’t answer, he got worried. Especially after what Anna had told them all.
“Hey,” he said, opening it a little. “I don’t know your name,” he realized, shaking me.
I looked at him, and for a second I forgot where I was. Luckily for him, he got out of the way in time.
“Easy,” he said, not wanting to come near me now.
I felt my head.
“Dinner,” he added.
“Oh,” I said as an alarm went off. I dug into my pocket and took a single white pill without even thinking about it as I walked past him up the stairs to get something to eat.
As we sat at the table, Rain and Ice watched me from their house.
“She’s not even eating,” Ice sighed.
“Ben just stole her roll,” Rain added, shooting him a look.
He lowered his head and put it back, making Ice chuckle.
“Aren’t you hungry?” Ben asked me.
“Not especially.”
“Feeling alright?” the foster parent asked.
I nodded. “Just tired.”
“You’ll sleep better on a full stomach,” he told me.
I sighed and ate most of what was on my plate, heading to my room after I cleared it.
In the morning, I got a shower and grabbed my jacket just in case I was going to be gone all day.
“Hey,” Ben called from Rain’s backyard where it looked like everyone was.
I waited. They made me nervous and I was thankful they didn’t know why.
“We’re gonna have a fire later tonight. Make some s’mores. You in?”
I backed away. “No, thank you,” I whispered, clearly shaken.
He shrugged, but Rain looked irritated.
“We saved your life,” she told me, her anger boiling over.
Between seeing me hurt Ben and continuously being standoffish and nervous, she was upset.
But so was I.
“Next time pick a better one to save,” I told her, walking away.
She sighed. “Damn.”
“All I know is that when a nurse tells you to stay away because it is that bad, you gotta trust that advice,” Ben told her.
“Jack didn’t listen,” Ice grinned at him.
“No, I didn’t,” he agreed, watching me go. “And I’m glad I didn’t.”
“So what are you going to do?” Ice wondered.
“I don’t know. Wait for her to come around, I guess.”
“Good luck, Jack. She’s completely different from what we’re used to,” Ben told him. “Damn. I gotta get to work.”
“I’ll walk with you,” Rain offered, leaving the three of them.
“What do you guys got going on today?” Jack asked.
“I’ve got an art class followed by play rehearsal, and Ice’s going to be late for work, too, if she doesn’t quit looking down my shirt,” Lily laughed, pushing her away.
They left him alone where he let himself out of the backyard. For a split second he wanted to go into my room and find out everything himself. But he headed home instead, noticing it was a nice day to read down at the park.
When he saw me there, too, he was surprised. Instead of having a book, I had a blue Slurpee resting on my stomach as I stared up at the clouds.
I was completely oblivious to him staring at me until I got up to throw away the empty Slurpee cup a few hours later.
“You looked happy,” he noticed.
I looked away. “I’m sorry I’ve deceived you.”
He couldn’t look away like I could.
“I’ll let you get back to reading,” I said lowly, heading back to where I was lying.
He sighed, closing his book.
When he sat in the grass next to me, I started to move.
“Please don’t,” he said, hoping I’d listen.
“I had somewhere I wanted to be. I’d let you come, but it’s dangerous,” I told him, dusting myself off.
“Then why are you going?”
“Because I’m hungry,” I shrugged, confusing him even further.
“I…I don’t understand.”
“Then follow me if you’re not going to leave me alone,” I said simply, grabbing my hoodie as I started to walk away.
We walked in silence for a few miles until I came to a pizza place and went inside.
“Ex!” the man behind the counter smiled. “Your apartment burned down. I guess the two corpses were your brothers, huh?”
I nodded as Jack stared at me in horror. “Two usual orders. You mind if I pay you later?”
“Nah, I know you’re good for it eventually,” he laughed, handing me two slices of pepperoni pizza and two plastic cups so we could grab some pop from the dispenser.
“Your apartment burned down?” Jack asked in disbelief.
I nodded casually. “Yep.”
“Your brothers died!”
“Good riddance,” I told him.
“You can’t mean that.”
“But I do. With everything I have left.”
“Family…is important.”
“I agree.”
“No, you don’t,” he told me angrily.
“You think I’m a monster?” I wondered, taking a bite of my pizza that was fresh from the oven.
He was quiet.
“Good. Take those thoughts with you. At least they’ll keep you warm at night after I’m dead,” I said, disgusted with him as I got up and left.
He could’ve asked the man behind the counter about me just like he could’ve broken into my room.
But I was mysterious on my own. Hot-headed like Rain. Quiet like Lily. And probably wild like Ben and unpredictable like Ice.
On his way home, after finishing his slice of probably the best pizza ever, he found he couldn’t get me out of his head.
“Where were you?” Anna asked as he walked in the door.
“Out.”
“Natalie told me you were with that girl.”
He sighed. “I was.”
“Jack…I don’t want you hurt,” she told him.
“Did you get these warnings when you went out with dad?” he asked her.
“No,” she said lowly.
“Sorry, mom, but I’m hooked. But I will be at Ice and Rain’s tonight. They’re having a fire.”
“Uh huh. And that girl is right next door.”
“We already asked her if she wanted to join. She declined.”
Anna thought about it. “Yes, I suppose she would.”
“Care to enlighten me? I’m going to find it out from one of you,” he promised.
She smiled, shaking her head. “Find it out from her, son.”
He looked relieved. “Really?”
She nodded.
He kissed her on the cheek as he raced out the door to head to the fire that would change his life forever.
Let’s Waste Time Chasing Cars
Jack kept looking over at my house.
“She’s not there,” Ben reminded him for the fifth time.
“Just like he’s not here,” Lily pointed out.
“Sorry.”
“Jack, what’s with you?” he asked.
“I saw her at the park. She actually tried to get me to see a part of her life. And when I got upset with what she told me, she got disgusted with me and I haven’t seen her since.”
“What’d she tell you?” Ice asked.
“I found out her apartment burned down and her two brothers were inside. I was horrified, but all she could tell me was good riddance,” he explained.
“Then who was that man?” Rain asked.
“And why’d he dump her off?” Ben added.
“What’s she sick from?” Lily offered.
“I don’t know!” Jack cried, wanting to throw something. “But she hates me now so it doesn’t matter.”
“But you…you love her?” Rain asked.
He sighed.
“I don’t even know her.”
They watched me go into the house holding a guitar that looked pretty beat up, closing the door softly behind me.
“And now she plays the guitar,” he said, shaking his head.
Ben chuckled.
“Do we even know her name?” Ice wondered.
He shook his head. “No. I didn’t even ask.”
I sat on my bed and put the guitar in my lap, happy I got that back at least. Everything else in that apartment I cared about was long gone, and the only reason the guitar survived was because no one even knew I had it in the first place.
“Well, I’m going to go and find out,” Ice said simply, standing up and dusting herself off.
Lily stopped her. “No, Ice. This is Jack’s endeavor. Let it be.”
She sighed, sitting back down. “I would.”
“I know you would,” she promised, handing her another Pepsi.
“You think I should go over there?” Jack wondered.
“It’s pretty late, Jack. I’ve gotta go, anyway. Work tomorrow,” Ben sighed, standing.
After he left, he stared at the basement door for a long time wondering if he should go down and talk to the girl no one could get out of their heads. The girl his best friend was pretty much hooked on.
He saw me get sick in the laundry tub and raced to get Jack. Hopefully he was still there.
“Jack!” Ben called, standing by the fence.
“What’s up?”
“How much medical crap do you know?”
“Quite a bit. Why?”
“The girl just got sick in the laundry tub. I’m not a doctor and lord help me, I’ll never be one ever, but…I don’t think throwing up blood is a good thing.”
His eyes widened as he set down his Pepsi and followed him to the basement where I was out on the cold floor.
“That’s not a lot of blood, but any isn’t good,” he said, kneeling next to me to check my pulse.
I woke to his touch, clearly startled.
“You…you passed out. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I know what I’m doing, ok? My mom’s a nurse and I’m actually doing a lot of work with an ambulance company,” Jack explained.
“It’s just my illness. The blood is from the ulcer in my stomach from the stress lately. I’ll be fine if I sleep,” I said quickly as I stood.
Ben looked crushed for Jack and I didn’t know why. But after today, and what he insinuated, I didn’t want to, either.
I closed the door behind me, taking a pill that didn’t seem to be working anymore. I was going to have to go to the doctor.
“Sorry, Jack,” Ben said quietly.
He stood and sighed. “No, it’s my own fault. I shouldn’t have said what I did. It just caught me off guard.”
What the hell did that mean? God, leave me alone. You are so much better off, I swear.
In the morning, I walked to my doctor’s office hoping for good news.
Jack did billing on the weekends, glad to get a new job to help him save for college next year.
So when I walked in, he looked surprised.
“Do you have an appointment?” a secretary asked.
“No, a walk in. I’ll wait, though,” I said quietly.
“Come on back,” my doctor said a few minutes later as Jack watched with interest.
I left about a half hour later looking numb and ready to break down any second.
When he got off at three, he passed by a small café and saw me sitting at a table staring at a piece of paper pretty hard.
Did he dare go and talk to me? He doubted I talked to anyone. And no one could do it alone.
Yet, when an officer walked in, he saw an anger in my eyes he’d never seen before.
It looked like I was telling him off. And when I stormed out and was face to face with him, he looked guilty.
“What?” I yelled at him, tears racing down my cheeks.
“I just…I want to help.”
“You can’t help! And it would make no sense to even try!” I cried, trying to walk past him.
A car cut the corner pretty quick, and if Jack hadn’t grabbed me, I would’ve been taken out instantly.
“Are you ok?” he asked, letting me go as soon as I nodded.
So many more questions now. And answers he wanted more than anything.
“Where…is the nearest pharmacy? They closed my other one,” I said quietly.
“Just a few blocks down. I could show you if you want,” he offered.
“What’s it called?”
“Glenn’s Pharmacy.”
I nodded, walking away.
As I sat on a couch in the corner waiting for my pills that were going to eat up the last of my money, I saw Ice and Lily walking through the large store completely unaware of me at first.
“Small world,” Lily said quietly, pointing at me.
I was drawing on my white Converse Chuck shoes, in my own world as they looked at me.
“Jack is completely in love with that girl,” Ice sighed.
“And she can’t seem to break free of hers,” Lily added.
“Should we talk to her?” she asked Lily.
“What would we say?”
“Ex Douglas?” the pharmacist called as I stood up.
“Ex? That’s a letter,” Ice said, noticing I saw them.
“Is he paying you to follow me?” I asked quietly.
Ice chuckled. “No, I’m getting my mom’s pills.”
I nodded, starting to walk past them.
“You wanna talk about it?” Lily called.
I looked at them for a long time. “No. All talking does is open up what you’ve tried so hard to keep buried and hidden from everyone else in the first place. Your wounds, your embarrassments, your battles scars and your fate. The only difference is that a complete stranger knows them and can walk away at any moment for any reason.”
They watched me go, wishing they knew what to say to that.
I stared at the bottle for a long time as I sat on my bed before burying my face in my hands and crying.
“Alright, that’s it!” Ben yelled, storming into my room.
He stopped when he saw me crying and then turned pale when I scrambled to get away from him.
He sighed. “Look, I didn’t mean to scare you, ok? It’s just…look, Jack loves you.”
“Who?”
“The big black guy I hang out with?” he asked.
I closed my eyes. “Why?”
“I don’t know. He doesn’t know a damn thing about you.”
I nodded, still weary of him.
“All I can tell you, is that he doesn’t get stuck on girls. He loves books. And he’s going to college to be a doctor. So why it has to be you is beyond me.
“I mean, it’s not like you’re not pretty or anything,” he added.
“Please go,” I begged.
“I just…I guess we didn’t get off on the right foot.”
I waited.
“My name’s Ben.”
“And you’re dating Rain. Who is Ice’s sister. She’s dating Lily. Ice and Rain live next door. I get it.”
“So you know who we are.”
“No. I just know your names.”
“You’ve got an advantage.”
“Ice and Lily know my name.”
“You told them?” he asked happily.
I shook my head. “No. My pharmacist did.”
He saw the bottle of pills on my desk and got curious.
“These are different from the ones I saw you take before,” he noticed.
“Yeah,” I said sadly.
I was thankful his phone rang and he left.
“Hey. Wanna catch a movie?” Rain asked him hopefully.
“Is Ice home?” he asked instead.
“Yeah.”
“I need to talk to her a minute.”
“Come on over.”
“Then the movie,” he promised, hanging up.
Ice was in her room reading when Ben walked in.
“You know her name,” he said.
“Ex.”
“That’s a letter.”
“That’s what the pharmacist called her.”
“Weird.”
“Was that all?” she asked.
“I might’ve…talked to her a little.”
“Oh, Ben. What’d you do?’ Rain asked.
“I got pissed because I see how hurt Jack is about all this. So I stormed in her room. God, first of all, she was crying. Secondly, she tried like hell to get away from me and hid in the corner the entire time I was in the room, and third…she’s got different pills,” he sighed.
“What?” Rain asked. “What pills?”
“I saw her taking a white pill a couple times. The bottle she had on her desk was filled with tiny little yellow ones. I noticed and she just…cried again.”
“God, this girl is so mysterious,” Ice sighed. “You think that’s why Jack’s attracted to her?”
“Come on, Ice. She’s pretty. Long black hair, purple eyes. Tall, skinny. I can see it,” Rain told her.
Ice chuckled.
“Shut up,” she laughed.
The back porch of the foster home had a swing, and although I was pretty sure most of them were over there, probably watching me, I needed air as I waited for the new pill to kick in.
“Has anyone even offered to talk to her?” Rain asked, watching me through the window.
Ice nodded. “Lily did. She declined and then gave reasons why. God, the pain in her voice and in her eyes was something I’ll never forget.”
Ben and Rain headed for the movies while Ice went back to her book waiting for Lily to call so they could do something later.
But Jack was at work for the rest of the night, leaving me alone like I wanted to be all along.
“Has she been out here all this time?” Ben asked Ice after he got back from the movie and a late dinner.
“I don’t know. I went out with Lily.”
I had dragged the swing to the middle of the backyard and took off the cover so I could stare up at the stars as a gentle breeze rocked me gently.
“Which means I doubt she’s eaten anything, either,” Ben sighed.
But they watched Jack approach me with a white box in his hands.
“Hey,” he said quietly, getting my attention.
I sat up and looked at him.
“I brought you some pizza,” he offered. “From the place we went to.”
“You want to sit down?” I offered.
“No,” he said, clearly surprising me. “Because if I sit down, I’m gonna ask you a million questions I know you’re not ready to answer. Because you don’t know me and I know you don’t trust me. You don’t trust anyone, and I’m willing to bet you have damn good reasons for it, too.
“This is my way of apologizing for being a jerk earlier. Just know I’m not going anywhere. And most of the time I’m usually pretty close by. With Ben being my best friend, it’s kind of inevitable. So whenever you’re ready to talk…or explode…find me,” he said, handing me the box.
They were surprised when he walked away, and even more so when I couldn’t look away from him, either.
“Oh, my god. She feels something for him, too,” Ice realized.
Rain and Ben gave each other a high-five confusing Jack who had just walked in.
“She’s crushed you left,” Ice said softly, pointing down at me.
He watched me take the white box inside, nodding a little to himself.
Little pieces were starting to fall into place. He had a name. That was a start at least. It was better than nothing.
Ben noticed the time. “Damn. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“You leave her pizza alone you fiend,” Rain warned.
Ben’s personal favorite food was pizza. And the more secretive the place, the more he had to try it.
He looked at Jack.
“Dude, it’s the best pizza ever,” he laughed, rubbing it in.
“Oh, I hate you all,” he said, heading over to the house where I was at the table having a slice of it.
“Goodnight,” he told me on his way through the dining room.
I looked down.
“Honestly. I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said, stopping to look at me.
“You want the rest?” I offered. “It doesn’t reheat well and I’m full.”
His face lit up as he took the box happily, sticking his tongue out at Rain who shook her head in amusement.
“That boy managed to mooch her pizza,” she told Ice who laughed.
I went to my room and fell asleep, wondering what the next day was going to bring.
Jack was right, however. I didn’t trust any of them. And I had damn good reasons for it, too.
In the morning, I played the guitar a little before realizing the house was empty and I could get a shower.
Now that was done, I had nothing left to do. Might as well head down to the park and read on this beautiful June afternoon, right?
Hell, maybe Jack will be there.
That’s What I’ve Been Trying To Tell You
The weather was gorgeous, and as he sat at a table across from me because all the others were taken, I kept my emotions in check.
“Sorry. Everything else is taken,” he said.
I shrugged.
“What are you reading?” he asked.
“Stephen Hawking’s new book,” I said quietly.
He was surprised. “You understand that?”
I nodded.
People playing nearby irritated me, so I put in my ear buds and listened to music.
Jack chuckled.
I finished my book and checked my watch, noticing it was only one in the afternoon.
But Lily and Ice soon greeted Jack, happy to see him.
“We’re gonna go feed the geese down by the river. You wanna come?” Ice asked him.
He looked up, but I was already gone.
“Yeah. Sounds neat,” he shrugged, taking his book with him.
They sat at the edge of the river, throwing bread to the ducklings that had just hatched, brave enough to venture away from momma long enough to take a bite from a stranger before she called them back.
Tires squealed overhead, where a blue Taurus crashed into the bridge where I was standing.
Jack watched in horror as the car stopped just before me, noticing I didn’t even bat an eye. The driver got out, shaken as hell, and then the child tried to follow, unaware that his side of the car was over the water, and not on the bridge. He’d hit the water with a hard splash fifteen feet below.
The mother, too hurt to get to him before he drowned, cried out in horror.
I handed her my book and hoodie with my pills inside, diving into the river myself.
Ice covered her mouth with her hands as Jack raced along the bank of the river hoping to keep an eye on the boy for me.
They watched in utter astonishment as I grabbed the back of the boy’s shirt and swung him over my back, heading to the river’s edge where Jack was standing.
“Are you alright?” I asked the boy who was too pale and shaken to answer. “It’s alright. Your mom’s on her way.”
He looked up and saw her on the bridge, crying with relief. Thankfully he didn’t get more than fifty feet from her, but I was spent. And with no more clean clothes, I needed to find a way to wash these.
I got to the bridge and took my things from her, where they saw me freeze when the mother tried to hug me.
“Please don’t,” I said, backing away. “Wet.”
She nodded. “Thank you so much.”
“You kept my things safe,” I winked, walking back up the trail where Jack, Ice and Lily could only stare.
“Jack…that was insane,” Lily told him.
“She saved his life!” Ice added.
“She fell,” he whispered, racing up the trail and across the bridge to where I had fallen.
“I’m fine,” I said, hoping he’d listen. “Just a heart thing.”
“And you dove in after him?” he demanded.
“I don’t answer to you!” I cried. “What I do with my life is my business. Every time I try to show you a part of who I am you’ve gotta smack it away like I’m the monster!”
“I’m just worried.”
“I need a nap,” I said, standing to face him. “Clean clothes. Shower.”
He put his fingers to my wrist and noticed my pulse was wild.
“Would water help?” he asked as Ice and Lily were now nearby.
I saw darkness as I fell.
He caught me, setting me down gently.
“What do we do?” Ice asked.
“Just give her a few minutes until she calms down. Apparently she’s got a heart condition.”
“And she dove in there anyway?” Ice demanded.
Jack chuckled. “I already got yelled at for that, too.”
He saw the officer from yesterday on the scene now, and moved me out of his line of sight, hoping that was the right thing to do.
But the mother pointed at me, and soon he was on his way up to talk to the girl who saved the boy.
“Ex,” he breathed. “Is she ok?”
“Just fainted. She’ll be alright in a few minutes,” Jack said quietly.
“If she doesn’t get better in the next twenty minutes, get her to the hospital. She’s not supposed to do anything too…cardio,” he told them carefully.
They nodded, watching him leave.
“He gone?” I asked, feeling my head.
Jack nodded. “Yeah.”
I slowly stood, noticing Ice and Lily were watching me now, too.
“I still can’t believe you did that,” Lily told me.
I was quiet.
“You need help home?” Ice offered.
“No, I’m good,” I told them, heading home.
By some miracle, I had clean clothes waiting for me on my bed thanks to the foster parent who got a check for me earlier today.
I scrubbed the river off of me in the shower, changing into clean clothes before crashing on the couch because I wasn’t going to make it back down the stairs safely.
The two smaller kids ran around like crazy, but I didn’t stir. And when Ben came home later that night after a full day of working and hanging out with Rain, I was still unaware of the time.
“How long has she been asleep?” he asked one of the smaller kids.
“Since three.”
“Eight hours? God,” he said, wondering if I’ve eaten anything.
“I had her part of dinner,” the other child told Ben, answering that question.
“Why don’t you eat? This is why you’re skinny,” he muttered, heading into the kitchen to make a sandwich for me at least.
“I just fed that boy,” Rain sighed, watching Ben put together a sandwich.
“He hates jelly, though. Oh. Ex is on the couch,” Ice pointed.
“He likes her enough to make her a sandwich?” Rain asked, feeling uneasy.
“He loves Jack enough that he’s making an honest effort to help,” Ice corrected.
She was quiet.
“Three years, Rain. You’ve been dating three years. And you’ve known each other since you were six. How many girls has he passed by in the ten years you’ve known each other?” Ice reminded her.
She nodded. “I’m just so used to not having to worry with the people we hang out with. I know no one’s going to go after him. It’s different having someone who possibly could.”
“No. She belongs with Jack. You’ll see.”
Rain smiled as she watched Ben try to wake me.
“Here,” he said quietly, handing me the sandwich.
I checked my watch and noticed I had missed a dose of my much needed and much despised medication.
“Damn it,” I cursed, racing to the basement to check my hoodie.
They weren’t there, either.
When the hell did they fall out of my pocket? After tearing apart my room, and then the bathroom, and then the couch, I flew out the door at midnight, not realizing I had a curfew because all kids in the city had one.
I took the trail and retraced my steps, hoping to come upon them somewhere. Anywhere.
But it looked like they were gone.
Now it was going to cost me my life. Now I was screwed.
“You can’t be out this late,” an officer told me as he crossed the bridge.
I looked at him.
“I was just going,” I said softly, starting to walk away.
“Ex?” he asked.
I stopped. Waited. God, why’d you have to be on duty? I really want to deck you.
“Why are you out here?”
Silence.
“Just get home,” he told me.
He watched me walk away, kicking himself.
It was nearly two when I got back and noticed Ben was still up waiting for me.
“Sandwich?” he asked, offering me the plate.
I sat at the table and picked it apart, lost in thought. Even if I could get a refill, I didn’t have the sixty bucks to pay for them.
If I only knew where they were, life would be so much better. But I didn’t.
“Here,” the foster parent told me the next morning, handing me the bottle of my pills.
I looked at him.
“Kids stole it out of your jacket while you were sleeping. I don’t think they took any. I mean, they aren’t dead,” he sighed.
I nodded, taking a pill now before heading downstairs to cry with relief. Stupid kids.
At least none of them were missing.
Because it was raining quite badly, and no one seemed to want to go anywhere, it was a perfect opportunity to take a walk. It was probably my favorite thing to do ever, and because I had music to listen to, life was good.
“Where is she going?” Rain asked her sister as they watched me walk down the block.
“She walks in the rain like Jack does. I didn’t think anyone was crazy enough to do that,” Ice chuckled.
I wasn’t going anywhere in particular. With my pills safely hidden away from troublesome kids, I just needed some fresh air.
In an alley, I saw a man holding a knife to Jack’s throat. He had his hands in the air to tell the man he wasn’t going to try anything stupid, but I sure as hell was.
I crept to the guy, and thankfully, Jack could only see him. So when I tapped the man on the shoulder, he turned to me in annoyance, giving me time to smack him along the face with a metal trashcan lid.
While he was on his stomach, I threw the can on top of his back, noticing he stayed down.
“You get up again, and I’ll kill you where you stand,” I told him darkly, my tone scaring the hell out of Jack.
He stared at me for a minute before I looked at him.
“You should pick up your wallet and go,” I said quietly.
“You…” he said, not knowing how to finish.
“I’d have a great career as Batman?” I guessed, hoping for a smile.
Instead, all he could do was stare at me.
“Get home,” I added, heading to my own.
When I got there, I changed into dry clothes and sat on my bed reading while Ben was on the phone with Jack.
“She did what?” he asked, hopping the fence to see Rain so he could tell them both.
“The guy had a knife to my throat. She hit him with a metal lid from a trashcan and knocked him to the ground with a single hit. Then she took the whole can and threw it on this guy’s back,” he explained.
“So she saved your life again? What are you, Jack? Her Mary-Jane?” Ice chuckled.
Rain laughed.
“And I still only know her name,” he sighed.
“You gotta find out more, man. I mean, I think all of us are getting hooked here,” Ben said, looking at the girls.
Rain looked away, confusing Ben.
“I gotta go,” he told Jack who hung up. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked her.
“Just my own insecurities,” she said, walking out of the room.
He looked at Ice for help.
“She thinks you’re starting to fall for Ex.”
“She’s not my type. You know me, I’m not…the best looking guy in the world. I’m shaggy and wear stained and old clothes. And it’s only by some grace of god that Rain can’t see that. So I’m holding onto that for the rest of my life. I know it’s not going to get any better than her,” Ben told Ice.
“You should tell her that.”
“I have.”
“Yes, but she’s a girl, Ben. She’s not like me. She’s got the insecurities and the doubts all the normal ones have. They need reminding,” she grinned.
“God you’re exhausting.”
She chuckled. “And when you two are living together and are married, you and your children will be exhausting to her. Right now, this is her time.”
He smiled, heading out of the room to find Rain.
They watched as a few minutes later as an officer came to the door.
“Are you insane?” he asked me.
“Is that a poncho?” I asked him, raising an eyebrow.
Ben chuckled as Rain hit him in the arm so she could listen.
“You just hit that guy!”
“So you just throw that on over your normal uniform and pray no one notices?” I asked, looking at it harder.
“You can’t just go around doing shit like that.”
“Is it waterproof?” I wondered, driving him crazy.
He sighed. “If anyone asks, we had a talk about it, ok?”
I shrugged, closing the door in his face.
They were in awe.
“She has to know him. Right? No one just gets away with making fun of a cop like that,” Ice said, watching the officer go.
Rain took out her cell to call Jack, still laughing about what I had done.
“I think that’s the officer from the park,” Ice told Jack.
In the morning, I did laundry and waited for an eternity for the damn dryer to get done.
Ben came down with a load of his own and saw me staring at the necklace Jack had returned to me.
“Jack said that was your world on a string,” he told me.
That sounded about right, I guessed.
Before I could say anything, the dryer buzzed, startling him.
At least my clothes were clean and dry for the week now. And when I walked away to take a pill and maybe head to the park because the sun was out and had been all day, I took a book with me.
I didn’t know you didn’t have to sit with your laundry. If I did, I would’ve been at the park a lot sooner.
The sound of the river rushing nearby combined with the ducks quacking from somewhere in the water as they swam happily with each other. The grass was green, and people who didn’t have to be anywhere special were here now, blissfully unaware of how all of this was special to me.
At this moment, the city with all of its problems and trials was perfect in my eyes.
Because I never thought in a million years I’d live this long to see its perfection ever again.
How Doth My Hero Strong And Brave…
“Hey, it’s Ex,” Ice pointed, sitting at the picnic table with the rest of them.
“What’s she doing?” Rain wondered.
“Staring at the clouds,” Jack shrugged.
“So what are we doing today?” Ben asked, changing the subject.
Everyone had the day off, and they knew they wanted to do something fun.
When I got up to throw away the empty cup, I saw all of them sitting there, staring at me.
“You know anything fun to do in this town?” Lily asked me.
Was this a trick question?
“I didn’t realize today was going to result in some weird pop-quiz,” I told them after a second.
Rain looked irritated when Ben laughed.
“Oh, come on. That was funny,” he told her.
“You’re two seconds away from making out,” she told him angrily.
“One thousand one…” I said lowly, getting a chuckle from Ice and Lily.
She looked at me. “Why’d you even have to come around?”
“She saved Jack’s life, Rain. Twice,” Ben told her angrily.
“And we saved hers! How about some gratitude?” she asked, standing face to face with me.
“I have a feeling that if I hit you, they’ll all kick my ass for it,” I said to her as the rest of them were unable to move.
“Do you love Ben?” she demanded, fire in her eyes.
“Who?” I asked, getting a chuckle from Ben which didn’t help the cause.
“That guy! Right there! My Ben!”
“You’re not going to whip it out and piss on his shoes to mark your territory, are you?” I wondered, raising an eyebrow.
Ice laughed, irritating her sister further.
“We should’ve left you in that dumpster,” she said, shaking her head at me in disgust.
“Yeah, you probably should’ve,” I agreed, surprising them all.
“You caught on, didn’t you?” Jack asked.
“You honestly think you’re going to get me to yell and tell you I’m worth saving this way?”
“It was worth a shot,” Ice told him.
“Too bad you didn’t know you were dealing with a genius, huh?” I asked, walking away.
“Genius?” Jack called, stopping me.
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“What’s…what’s your IQ?”
“One seventy-three.”
They were stunned.
“No wonder you understand Hawking,” he told me.
I chuckled. “He’s interesting.”
“What are you doing today?” he asked.
“I’m going to visit my arch enemy,” I grinned, leaving them all even more confused than before.
“What the hell does that mean?” Ben wondered.
“You think we should follow?” Ice asked.
“God, I want to. The last place she went to was dangerous, and she only went there because she was hungry,” Jack told them.
Ice chuckled. “So who do you think her arch enemy is?”
But I was out of their sights, and wouldn’t appear until later in the day.
“There you are,” Ben said, turning off the TV.
“Aren’t you in a violation or something for talking to me?” I asked him, heading to the kitchen for something to drink.
“She didn’t mean it, Ex.”
I poured myself some juice, staying quiet.
When my watch went off, I went downstairs to take a pill that seemed to be doing its job fairly well right now.
My doctor told me with this I could maybe get another eight years before I’d progress into stage three if I took it easy.
When Ben was standoffish and rude to me the next day, I figured it was his male PMS or something.
“Why are you staring at me?” he demanded, holding a butter knife in his hand.
“I was just going to tell you I licked that knife.”
He threw it in the sink, breaking some dishes that were already in there before walking away in disgust.
At least he didn’t hit me. I cleaned out the sink as best as I could, putting the dishes in the dishwasher after I was done.
“Thanks,” the foster parent smiled, putting groceries on the floor and the counters.