COMPASS ROSE
and other short stories
MORAG GARDINER
* * *
Copyright © 2009 by Morag Gardiner
All rights reserved
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In this collection of contemporary short stories, aspects of humanity are revealed through a variety of characters including Anna, who wreaks revenge on the man she believes killed her sister. Jane, a sad old lady, coping with modern day values as her son faces financial ruin. Eva, from the Ukraine, enjoying a life of luxury in the western world. Julia, a young mother, who discovers her husband is having an affair. Human fallibility and resilience unfold against various Scottish backgrounds including the city of Edinburgh, a square rigger bound for the Hebrides, and the wild majesty of the Scottish Highlands.
* * *
CONTENTS
Compass Rose
A Close Family
Beloved Sister
Meltdown
Quest for Mr. Right
A Walk on the Beach
Love's Illusions
Rules of the River
* * *
COMPASS ROSE
Harry lay in his narrow bunk as the ship rolled around in the increasing swell, while above him, Eva snored happily on, oblivious of the change in the weather. Harry was seriously bored. When Eva suggested a cruise for his 30th birthday he had said yes, imagining a luxury liner, exciting foreign ports and warm balmy evenings. Instead they were aboard the Compass Rose, a square rigger bound for the Hebrides. It had seven or eight huge sails. Harry felt like an extra in a Hornblower movie.
Yesterday’s departure from Oban in bright sunshine had suited him since there was not enough wind to put up the sails. Helping the crew was an option and Harry did not plan to pull on ropes if he could avoid doing so. As they motored up the Sound of Mull the Captain gave them a talk on safety equipment and two crew members gave the twelve guests instructions on how to coil ropes and secure them as well as how to clip themselves into a harness in order to climb the rigging and gain access to the yardarms. Eva had been first to volunteer but unfortunately she had a moment of vertigo when she was less than half way up and had to be helped down by the young female bosun who, Harry couldn’t help noticing, was rather shapely.
Eva had been on several luxury cruises with her first husband but had tired of those enormous floating palaces. A cruise on a tall ship to some Scottish Islands seemed a romantic idea and Eva had been charmed when she stepped aboard the Compass Rose although it was smaller than she had imagined. She bravely smiled as most of her luggage had to be returned to the quayside and a minimal amount packed into a small cubby hole next to her bunk. Polished brass rails shone brightly, the ship was panelled in wood and the lower saloon with its blue velvet banquette, book lined walls, old maps and charts was cosy and comfortable. A Flemish chef provided excellent cuisine and yesterday evening, over a lobster and crayfish dinner, Eva had made sure of a seat beside the Captain. Harry happily squeezed himself next to the soft thighs of the attractive young bosun whose name he discovered was Caroline.
* * *
Harry couldn’t face breakfast and stood in a sheltered spot on deck, clad in waterproofs, smoking a cigarette. A strong wind against tide was producing short sharp waves, pitching the heavy ship around while rain lashed down. The Captain had earlier announced that the ship would not be leaving the anchorage until the weather front passed through. Everyone scattered good naturedly, some to read, some to write and several to the lower saloon where a noisy game of Canasta was soon in progress. Eva was at the centre of this and he could hear her shrill tones rising above the others.
Her exotic features, high Slavic cheekbones and black eyes combined with an excitable temperament were attractive to people initially, although they soon tired of her. She had escaped the drab totalitarianism of her early years by marrying a Ukrainian business man whose bank statements were much more attractive than he was. His business interests took him all around the world and Eva followed, gaining entrance to a luxurious lifestyle in the west she had long dreamed of. When he died unexpectedly, Eva greedily made sure she inherited all of his wealth ignoring pleas from both his family and her own back in the Ukraine for a fair share.
Marriage to Harry ensured a permanent life in the west. Harry was handsome and the last in a long line of reprobates. Most of his ancestors had died of alcohol related diseases and had departed this world leaving nothing but a string of debts. When he met the wealthy widow and she fell for his English charms, he had seized the opportunity to attach himself to her. Eva pretended she was thirty nine years old but Harry knew after rifling through some of her papers that she was in fact forty six. He enjoyed a very nice lifestyle with Eva and her wedding present to him had been a Harvey Nichols store card with no limit. Harry had never earned a penny in his life and he rather enjoyed doing nothing. The family coffers were now empty and despite the efforts of his godfather who had paid his school fees and encouraged him to secure a place at university he had not completed his degree in art history. This thought reminded him of Caroline who was working a gap year on the tall ship before she took up a place at Oxford. Harry tossed his cigarette butt over the side and set off to find her.
* * *
At last the cold front passed through and the Captain called for all hands on deck to weigh the anchor and help to hoist the sails as soon as the crew had navigated the narrow channel out to sea. When the deep throb of the powerful diesel engine ceased and wind filled the sails, the ship moved silently and swiftly through the lessening waves.
* * *
Late that afternoon they anchored in a secluded bay. Between rocky headlands the tranquil sea was deep green, while closer to shore the colour changed to turquoise and crystal clear water rolled smoothly in over white sand. After dinner the dinghy was launched and passengers were taken ashore in relays. The air was warm and the sand still retained the heat of the day. Eva removed her shoes feeling the sand, warm and silky sliding between her toes. She looked over to where Harry and Caroline were standing together, laughing, as they removed their lifejackets. Eva felt envious of Caroline’s youth, her taut skin and the confidence that came from knowing her body was desirable. Jealousy pierced like knives and Eva turned her back on the pair before setting off with a group to walk the length of the beach.
The sun was low in the sky as people wandered back and gathered on the shore to watch the sunset. The Compass Rose became a black silhouette as the sun slipped towards the horizon bathing the land and sea in a golden glow. As it disappeared the sky melted from gold to rosy pink then faded into a soft twilight. Reluctantly the first party boarded the dinghy and set off for the ship. Eva was among them and her black eyes glittered dangerously as she looked back towards the shore where Harry and Caroline stood close together.
* * *
Next morning a brisk breeze ruffled the surface of the bay and filled the billowing sails as they set off for one of the Hebridean islands. By lunchtime another weather front was rolling in from the Atlantic and the Compass Rose leaned heavily to port as the wind grew stronger bringing heavy rain under leaden skies. Most of the passengers stayed below while the crew held the old ship on course. Afternoon gave way to evening, the wind dropped and the Captain requested all hands on deck to help take down the heavy wet sails. Eva stayed below. Compass Rose motored westwards through grey drizzle and as the engine revs slowed, passengers came up on deck to stand silently as the ship moved slowly between dark cliffs at the entrance to a small deepwater harbour. The Compass Rose nosed her way in and came alongside a green and slippery pier, which supported two ancient sheds and rusting machinery. The Captain shut down the engine and they were enfolded in silence. Despite the curling mists and rather sinister atmosphere, several people asked for permission to go ashore and the crew laid a broad plank of wood between the ship and the jetty.
The bleakness of the remote island seemed to have had an effect on everyone and spirits were low over dinner. There was less enthusiasm for Canasta and, tired after the rough passage, people began drifting off to bed. Eva went in search of Harry. She checked the upper and lower saloons and peeped into the crew quarters before coming up on deck. There was no sign of either Harry or Caroline. In a dark mood she sat on deck fidgeting with one of the ropes. Hearing a soft giggle from behind one of the old sheds, jealousy pierced again. The tide had been going out for some hours and the plank from the ship was now angled steeply up towards the pier. Eva crouched in the darkness as Caroline returned, stepping confidently down on to the deck and sneaking off to her cabin. Peering out into the inky darkness Eva saw a glow as Harry lit a cigarette.
Footsteps sounded on the upper deck and Eva threw the rope down in a fury, moving swiftly below. The Captain descended and as the beam of his torch swept around the deck he caught sight of the rope which Eva had thrown down. Picking it up he coiled it back on its pin. Irritated he noticed that the plank was still in position and laying his torch down he hauled it back on board. With a last look around he retired to his cabin. A few minutes later Harry returned, feeling his way along the slippery surface towards the plank which wasn’t there. He turned blindly to retrace his steps and as he did so, his feet slipped on the edge. He made very little noise, hardly a splash, as he entered the black water. The shock prevented him from calling out as a strong tide swept him away.
* * *
Eva lay in her narrow bunk in a rage deciding to cancel Harry’s credit cards as a punishment. Scotland’s changeable climate was exasperating and she began to plan another trip. Dreaming of a new wardrobe of designer clothes and a spell of luxury in the South of France, Eva was soon snoring quietly.
* * *
A CLOSE FAMILY
A Wedding
Edward and Helen were married in Edinburgh on a day when the sun shone and a strong wind pulled taut the flags on the Castle ramparts sending large white clouds racing across the sky. Theirs was a traditional church wedding with a reception afterwards at the home of Edward’s parents. A number of guests wore kilts, including the bridegroom, whose stocky figure lent itself to traditional Scottish dress. The bride wore an ivory silk dress, carefully cut to help disguise her ample proportions. Her fine, shoulder length, blonde hair was held back by a silver tiara and around her plump neck she wore a single string of pearls, which had belonged to Edward’s grandmother.
Edward and Helen stood together, along with Edward’s parents, greeting their guests in the hall of the large Victorian house. A carved oak staircase branched up to the right and light from a stained glass window reflected colours down on to the polished wooden floor. The hall was cool and lightly scented with large vases of flowers. Women with stylish hats greeted each other with high, fluting voices and processed slowly towards the drawing room whose French windows led into the garden. Many of the guests spilled outside where they were protected from the brisk breeze by a high stone wall and four large chestnut trees. Herbaceous borders, heavy with flowers and the scents of summer wound round extensive lawns where groups of little tables and chairs were set out. Waiters moved among the crowd with silver trays offering champagne in sparkling crystal glasses.
Edward and Helen lived and worked in London. Helen had expressed a wish to be married in Notting Hill and to celebrate afterwards in the home where they had lived together for the past few years. Edward had been appalled at the idea. His family was very close he argued and would expect a traditional wedding in Edinburgh.
Helen’s desires were overruled and, since her own parents were both long dead, Edward’s parents offered to host the celebrations. They had organised the whole event and most decisions had been taken out of Helen’s hands. They insisted that some representation from her own family was necessary and a few distant relatives, Norfolk farmers, had travelled north to attend the wedding.
Many of Edward and Helen’s London friends had made the journey. They were all rich young things, high earners, who lived life to the full. These young people lived together as couples, doubling their income and spending power. It was rare in this crowd for two to marry and the wedding was a novelty. Most of the women were very thin, their skin stretched tightly over cheekbones, and they wore short straight dresses, which emphasised their jutting hipbones.
The Norfolk fraternity formed tight little circles of their own kind and eyed the other guests over the tops of their drinks. Children from both sides of the family, uninhibited by social mores rolled around on the lawns and chased each other through the shrubbery. The Minister, who had performed the Marriage Ceremony looked dolefully at his glass of champagne. He would have preferred a glass of malt whisky. With a sigh he moved forward to join the nearest group.
Two aunts from Norfolk, sweating in fashions from another era, held on to their unbecoming hats with one hand as they stalked across the lawn to find a seat in the shade.
* * *
Helen’s blue eyes searched the crowd, looking for Andrew. She saw him, talking animatedly to Edward’s parents, emphasising a point with eloquent movements of his hands. Edward’s mother was distracted and kept looking anxiously westwards. The weather forecast was not good for later in the day and she was concerned that rain would arrive early. Andrew must have felt Helen’s gaze upon him because he turned at that moment, murmured an excuse and moved towards her.
‘You look beautiful.' he said.
‘Thank you!’
‘Radiantly beautiful.’
‘Isn’t that how brides are supposed to look?’, she teased.
‘Are you happy?’ he asked
‘Yes, I’m happy.’
‘I’m glad we met a few weeks ago.’
‘One last, beautiful, passionate night.’ she smiled, seductively.
‘For old time’s sake.’
They looked at one another.
‘We can’t meet like that ever again. You’re married to Molly. I’m now Edward’s wife.’
He sighed. ‘I know.’
‘We could never live together, you and I. Plenty of passion, but no patience with each other!’
He laughed. ‘I know that.’ He held her gaze with dark brown eyes.
‘Good luck, Andrew.’
‘You too, Helen.’
They moved apart to mingle with the other guests.
* * *
Edward and Helen honeymooned in Barbados where Helen was sick almost every morning. She pretended to Edward that this was a reaction to the spicy food they were eating each evening, but knew with an awful certainty that she was carrying Andrew’s child.
Edward was jubilant when Helen finally told him she was pregnant and opened endless bottles of champagne when friends called round to their Notting Hill home to congratulate them. Helen was completely overwhelmed by the continual air of celebration, overtaken by events now out of her control. Not for a single moment did she consider telling Edward of her recent sexual encounter with Andrew. There was no point, she told herself. Andrew and Molly were happily married and the truth would cause too much hurt in the close family to which she now belonged. Helen did not feel she had a choice and kept her secret to herself.
A Christening
A year later, Edward and Helen travelled to Edinburgh for a family party to celebrate the birth of their first baby whom they called Leo. As the plane circled the city, Helen could clearly see the Castle whose ancient walls were bathed in yellow evening sunshine. A few clouds out to the west were turning red and gold with the promise of a spectacular sunset. Edward leaned across her to gaze out the window, pointing out city landmarks as the plane lost height and approached the airport. As it touched down, Helen felt her stomach lurch with apprehension at the thought of introducing baby Leo to the family. Andrew would be at the celebration tomorrow and she felt sick with fright. At that moment Leo opened his eyes and looked up at her solemnly. She smiled at him and felt calmer. How could anyone possibly guess?
Helen’s parents, members of the family and friends gathered around the cot exclaiming with delight at the new baby, telling Helen how lucky she was he had arrived early. Helen looked around the large drawing room, waved to Molly in the crowd, but could see no sign of Andrew. She noticed that Molly had lost weight, she looked thin and ill. Helen felt conscious of her own body, even fuller than before and bursting with health and mother’s milk. Leaving Leo with an adoring crowd, she wandered out into the garden.
A recent heavy shower of rain had refreshed the plants and the scent of honeysuckle, which grew in an unrestrained manner against a south-facing wall, filled her senses as she walked on through the shrubbery. She found Andrew at last, in the shadow of a chestnut tree, smoking a cigarette.
He smiled as she approached. ‘Hello Helen.’
‘Hello Andrew, it’s good to see you.’ She kissed him lightly on both cheeks.
‘You have a beautiful baby!’ He said.
‘He’s lovely isn’t he.’
‘Are you happy?’ Andrew asked.
‘Yes of course I’m happy. And you?'
‘Yes. Molly and I are trying for a baby too. Fingers crossed.’
There was an awkward silence between them.
‘Good luck, Andrew.’
‘Thank you.'
They returned to the house separately.
Edward stood in the hall holding Leo as the guests said goodbye. Helen saw Molly say something to Edward and he handed over baby Leo. Molly and Andrew stood together looking at the baby for a few moments before they handed him back. Helen saw hope and longing in their eyes. She put the image from her mind.
* * *
Twin daughters were born a few years later to Edward and Helen. Exhausted, Helen confronted Edward as he began preparations for another trip to Edinburgh.
‘Why do we always have to travel north for every damn family event?’ Helen asked resentfully.
‘Mother and Father expect it. They love having us. You know we are a close family.’
‘I can’t face the journey. We have our own family now Edward.’
Christmas
Several years later, Edward and Helen brought Leo and their twin daughters, Florence and Anna, to Edinburgh for Christmas. Snow lay thickly on the Pentland Hills but the roads from the airport into the city were clear. On Christmas Eve, family and friends gathered in Edward’s parents’ house for the annual Christmas drinks party. The twins were ecstatic because there were two Christmas trees, one in the drawing room and one in the hall. The aroma of spices filled the house and Leo, with a solemn charm, helped hand round mincemeat pies and mulled wine. Those of the guests who were going on to dinner elsewhere wore evening dress.
Helen’s eyes scanned the crowd, looking for Andrew. As guests began to leave, she turned to her father-in-law.
‘Where’s Andrew?’ she asked. ‘Why isn’t he here?’
‘Haven’t you heard about Molly?’
‘No?’
'She lost her baby. It looks like there’s no possibility of her ever having children. Some gynaecological problem.’
‘Oh! Poor Molly. Poor Andrew.’
‘They’re devastated of course.’
‘Of course.’
‘They couldn’t face Christmas here, they went to Capetown.'
A Funeral
Molly died of cancer a few years later. Her funeral service was held in Edinburgh on a grey day, the Castle brooding over the city under a sky the colour of flint. It was one of those short, bleak days in February when daylight never really arrives and lights stay on in homes and offices throughout the day. After the funeral, friends and family gathered in the churchyard talking in small, subdued groups. Some said Molly was worn out and had died feeling she had failed Andrew by not being able to provide him with children.
Helen stood waiting for a chance to talk to Andrew. Leo stood a little apart, looking sombre. Florence and Anna stood together behind him. Normally noisy teenagers, they looked awkward today and at a loss for words.
Andrew looked gaunt, thin and sad. Helen’s stomach gave a sickening lurch. Suddenly she felt guilty of a terrible crime. Shame washed over her. He looked over, smiled at her and she could see some vital spark had left him. She felt herself flush as he came towards her.
‘Hello Helen’, he kissed her on both pink cheeks.
‘Andrew, I’m so sorry about Molly’.
‘Thank you.’
They looked at one another for a few moments in silence. Hot with shame she turned away. Andrew, confusing her shame for grief, put his arm around her shoulders. Edward moved over to comfort her too and she stood, sobbing into her hands, between the two men. Leo looked anxiously over at the group.
What had felt like a small deception at the time now revealed itself to Helen as monstrous and the appalling reality of her betrayal of Edward, Andrew and Leo was laid bare.
* * *
At bedtime, Helen stood staring at herself in the bathroom mirror. Haunted eyes looked back from her pale face. She had been right to keep her secret, she told herself. She had chosen to stay silent and no one in this close family had been hurt. A raw ache in her throat and chest was soothed as she wove a web of self deception.
Helen climbed into bed beside Edward, who was already fast asleep. She switched off the light and lay awake, wide-eyed, for a long time, aware of Edward’s twin brother Andrew alone in the room next door.
* * *
BELOVED SISTER
Rachel was buried in early January. The trees in the churchyard stood out starkly against a grey sky and a layer of frost covered the ground. Numb with grief at the loss of my sister, I stood at the graveside and could not look at the space into which her coffin would soon be lowered. A pale wintry sun was low in the sky and would soon be gone. I looked over towards the loch. There was no wind and its surface was glassy, reflecting dark mountains. A formation of geese descended towards its surface, their melancholy cries piercing the cold clear air.