A Christmas Vow
By
Laura Shinn
Published by Smashwords
Copyright © 2009 by: Laura Shinn
Cover Design by: Laura Shinn
Edited by: Rebecca J. Vickery
ISBN: 978-1-4523-0927-9
Other books available by this author:
Night Hunter
Someone To Watch Over Me – Angels of the Realm series/book 1
This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. It may not be copied or reproduced in any manner without express written permission of the author. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy or copies. If you did not purchase this book or it was not purchased for your use, please go to Smashwords.com to purchase your personal copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
A Christmas Vow is a work of fiction. Though some of the cities and towns actually exist they are used in a fictitious manner for purposes of this work. All characters are works of fiction and any names or characteristics similar to any person past, present or future are coincidental.
Dedicated to:
My best friend and dearest love, Jay.
Special Thanks to:
Rebecca J. Vickery who graciously gave of
her time, her talents and her savvy input.
This story is published because of you, Becca.
Blurb
Life is a funny thing when you’re six years old. Shanda Bratton knew she and Chris would be friends forever. Chris didn’t know about the secret love she held for him in her heart, even though he was a lot older. She would love him forever, even after she grew up. It was set in stone. But would Chris ever see her as anything other than the kid he’d known all his life?
With a difference of five years, Chris Milano knew that his and Shanda’s ages would always separate them. That is, until the day she came home after graduating college. He was shocked to find a full-grown woman, rather than the fresh, young girl he remembered. His desire for her never vanished, though she’d been much too young for him to show it when she was sixteen. He could no longer use that as an excuse to avoid her attentions. And looking into her eyes – the eyes of a grown woman – did he really want to?
This Christmas would be one neither would ever forget.
To view more of Laura Shinn’s stories or cover designs, visit: www.laurashinn.com.
Reviews
Fallen Angel Reviews – 4 Angels!
Ever since he was a kid Chris knew that his neighbor and friend Shanda would be his girl but the five years between them would always be a deterrent until Shanda was old enough to make her own decisions. As the years pass, Chris’ feelings for Shanda only grow deeper and more intense but he knows that she still isn’t ready and he is determined to wait until she is fully ready for him.
Shanda has loved Chris forever and has only wanted him to see her as a woman instead of a child but he refuses to see how grown-up she is. Finally Shanda is off to college and spends all her time there studying hard and avoiding coming home where she might run into Chris. Now Shanda has graduated five months early and is ready to get home and start her new dance studio but instead of her dad picking her up she finds Chris there waiting on her. Will Chris finally see her for the woman she is or will he still see her as a kid?
A Christmas Vow by Laura Shinn is a hot, heart-warming tale that excites as well as delights. Shanda and Chris have great chemistry and share a real bond that makes you feel their frustration and passion as the years go by.
I really enjoyed this story with its smooth flow, witty dialog and inclusive characterization. I will look forward to reading more from this author. 4 Angels!
Reviewed by: Tammy
Joyfully Reviewed
Shanda Bratton and Christopher Milano have known each other since they were children. There has always been a strong connection between them. As the years go by, their feelings never wane but they never act on them until just before Christmas Eve when they both decide it’s time.
A Christmas Vow is a tender, romantic and heart-warming story. Shanda and Chris go way back, and every encounter they have keeps the sexual tension building. They are clearly made for each other and their story is really sweet with just a little bit of heat!
Reviewed by: Nannette
Chapter One
She’s an angel!
Shanda Bratton was the prettiest girl on stage with her long, golden hair curling wildly around her body as she danced to the music. He’d never seen anyone move that gracefully before. He envied the way she twisted her body to the music. It was like watching water flow down a river, smooth, gentle, radiant. And Shanda was beyond radiant. She glowed.
She might only be six, but she really knew how to dance. Her ballet, jazz and gymnastic classes paid off. Shanda no longer ran into walls every time she turned a corner. It used to be funny, watching her trip over her own feet, but no more. In just two years, Shanda developed the physical skills to do a great many things. Even her voice sounded like an angel’s.
“Chris, close your mouth. You look like a codfish,” his mother, Kathleen, scolded. Eleven-year-old Chris immediately closed his mouth and pouted. He wasn’t staring. He wasn’t! He was doing what his parents and Shanda’s parents were doing, watching Shanda perform in her first ballet recital. Boy, was she good!
Shanda’s mom, Kim, warned him before the recital that she would have a solo halfway through. Kim nudged him in the ribs and winked, gesturing to the stage.
“Check ‘er out, Chris! She worked weeks gettin’ that solo right!”
Sure enough, the other girls withdrew into the background and Shanda gloried in the center stage spotlight. She shone brightly, like a new penny, putting all of the other girls to shame.
For a brief moment she came forward, to the edge of the stage and their eyes met. Just for a moment. Chris' heart felt strange as he stared at the blonde-haired angel in pink. He made a vow: One day Shanda will be my girl. It was a promise he intended to keep.
~*~
Seven years later
Shanda tried to stay out of the way, hiding behind a tall fichus tree over in the corner of Chris' living room. All of the other kids at his birthday party were his age, or at least close.
Chris turned eighteen today and he was so grown up. Tall and well-built with shaggy brown hair, he was masculine and so adorable. His blue Superman eyes could melt her heart at a glance.
Unfortunately, Chris also had a girlfriend. She didn’t treat him right, not the way Shanda would ever treat Chris. Denise was cold, mean and stuck up. And what made her madder than spit was Shanda knew she was cheating on him. She overheard Denise not twenty minutes ago talking on her cell when she came out of the bathroom, thinking no one was around. She eagerly admitted in a whisper that she was seeing two other guys. The creep didn't even try to hide it! Any idiot could see she was easy, except Chris, who thought she was “sexy.”
Shanda understood all too well how these older teens saw her. She was a thirteen-year-old kid, an annoying bug to be swatted away. At least, that’s how she felt. How would Chris ever notice her with the ever-present boob chick clinging to him like a girl about to drown?
The most amazing thing happened just as she finished her thought. Chris came inside, leaving his friends outside to talk, drink punch and throw around a football and Frisbee. His dad stayed busy on the porch cooking the burgers and hot dogs. Shanda tried to stay hidden; she was thin enough to manage it easily. It didn’t work, though. Like heat-sensing radars, his eyes located her hiding behind the tree.
Feeling like a fool, she bent over like she was searching for something. The couch hid her completely for a moment while she took off one of her earrings. Popping up, she said, “Oh, here it is!” Blinking at Chris, she pretended to just noticed him. “Chris! Hi! I…umm, lost my earring and…umm…”
His grin spread from ear to ear. “It’s cool, Shan. I get it.” He walked over and took her hand. “Come outside and have a burger with me. I can’t celebrate my eighteenth birthday without my best girl at my side.”
Shanda sighed, her heart aching. Chris had been saying that since she was six. It was like a joke or something. When would he look deep into her eyes and see her for the woman…well, near woman she was becoming? Okay, so she was thirteen. In a few short years she’d be a real woman! Would he finally notice her once she was grown?
Chris went into the kitchen and opened the door leading to the backyard. It smelled strongly of cooking meat and rich spices. His mom decorated the tables with balloons and streamers. They were everywhere. It looked colorful and festive, giving the backyard a cheerful appeal. Shanda pasted on a smile for everyone’s sake but her own.
Denise, the boob chick, sleazed up to Chris and slid her hand in his back pocket. The girl made her skin crawl. Something about her just wasn’t right. She laughed in a high, shrill pitch and Shanda cringed at the irritating sound. It sounded like fingernails on a chalkboard.
Denise raised her voice to make sure everyone heard her. “Oh, that’s so sweet, Chris. You found little Shanda to help you celebrate. How cute.”
Shanda’s lip curled in distaste. Denise was giving her multiple cavities. Ooo, the girl made her so mad with her fake, sweet talk! Chris deserves a lot better. It's a shame he's so blind.
Chris leaned down bringing his lips close to Shanda's ear. His words were barely above a whisper. “You okay, Shan? You look a little sick.”
Shanda smiled sadly, gazing at his handsome face. She was sick—sick of being the second girl in his life. “No, I’m fine. I just have a bad taste in my mouth.” Shanda’s deadpan stare turned toward Denise. Several snickers could be heard behind them. Denise’s fake smile disappeared instantly.
It returned a moment later. “Well, maybe you should have something sweet to eat, hon.”
Shanda offered a less-than-genuine smile of her own. “I don’t like sweets, Denise. I prefer rare steak with hot sauce.”
Denise arched a perfectly waxed brow. “Isn’t that a little beyond your tastes, hon, for someone so very, very young?”
Shanda gave her a crooked smile, her eyes glued to her nemesis. “Hon, you’d be surprised what I can handle.”
“Ooo’s” and “Ho-ho’s” surrounded them. Shanda narrowed her eyes and pulled herself up to her full height. No way would she be intimidated by this horrible girl. Denise may have Chris right now, but Chris was her best friend and no one was closer to him. Especially not this boob chick.
Shanda was satisfied to see Denise's eyes widen at the sudden change in her resolve.
This is war.
~*~
Christmas
Two years, six months later
The Christmas tree was trimmed with pink, glass and ceramic ornaments, the tree skirt made of delicate ecru lace. A feminine angel with real feathered wings graced the top. Christmastime at the Milano house was always a formal affair. Kathleen Milano always insisted the house be kept clean and orderly, her fine collectables dusted weekly within their cases. It was a lovely home, but Shanda always walked through it like she was walking on eggs, afraid she’d accidentally knock something over.
“There you are, my dear.” Kathleen welcomed Shanda’s family with a sweep of her hand. Her parents and Chris' were the best of friends and always celebrated the holidays together. Shanda, of course, was thrilled at any opportunity to spend time with Chris.
Shanda’s mother, Kim, hugged her closest friends warmly. “So, when’s Chris gonna be joining us? Is he on assignment?”
Kathleen took their coats and ushered the group into the living room. “His assignment recently ended, I believe. He promised to be here before seven, so that gives him thirteen minutes more.”
Both women laughed.
Shanda watched her dad, Chris' brother—Tyson—and Chris' dad go into the den to watch the football game on TV. She shook her head and smiled. Men.
The minutes turned into an hour, then two. No sign of Chris. Shanda was disheartened to think he wouldn’t be joining them this year.
Nine-thirty came and then ten. It was time to go. Shanda placed on a smile for Chris' sweet parents, not wanting them to know her disappointment at missing Chris' return. They were nice people and she truly did appreciate their kindness in inviting her family into their home.
Shanda was slipping on her coat when she heard the roar of a car engine as it pulled into the driveway. Her heart quickened and her hands turned into fists against her coat.
It’s him! He finally made it!
Kathleen Milano threw open her front door and let out a parent’s delighted squeal. Chris hugged his mother tightly, but his eyes were on Shanda.
She gulped, desperately needing the shock of the crisp night air to bring her out of her daze. Chris was smiling, but not just any smile. It was a God-it’s-great-to-see-you smile. His eyes were darker than usual and very intense as they roamed over her face. He looked like a starving man who’d just been given an all-you-can-eat meal. Shanda’s heart raced with joy!
“Mom, Dad, sorry I’m late. I got hung up.”
“You’re here now and that’s what matters,” his mother said firmly.
Shanda’s parents agreed to stay for a few more minutes to deliver Chris’ presents. Chris also ran out to his car and popped his trunk, dragging in a red sack filled with presents. He was way too young and fit to be Santa, but that didn’t matter. He was home.
Shanda gave him a CD of his favorite group and Chris swore he didn’t have it already. Chris gave her a set of silver, French-hooked heart earrings with a pink iridescent center. They were beautiful and she promised to wear them every day.
Once the gifts were all exchanged, Shanda’s parents prepared to leave once more. All four parents were outside next to her fathers’ car, saying their good-byes. Shanda buttoned her coat and made her way to the front door.
Before she could open the front door a firm hand gently grasped her upper arm. Shanda turned to find Chris less than a foot away. The smile he offered didn’t appear as bright, but seemed unsure and secretive.
“What? What is it?” she coaxed. He kept switching his weight from one foot to the other. This timid display didn’t feel like the Chris she knew so well. What is he doing?
“I got you something extra to go with your pink earrings.”
“Chris, you didn’t have to buy anything else. These earrings are beautiful!” She fingered the jewelry in her ear. She couldn’t wait, so she put them on immediately.
“I know, but I wanted to.”
Chris reached deep inside his coat pocket and withdrew a long, velvet box. Shanda sucked in a breath and held it as he lifted the lid, watching her reaction. Her soft gasp made her hazel green eyes bright. They widened just as she smiled. Thank God…she loved it!
Shanda couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak. He’d bought her a silver charm bracelet with hearts and pink iridescent beads of various styles and sizes. Captured beside the bracelet's catch hung a simple, silver heart. Above the tiny pink diamond was a word in bold capital letters—LOVE. She wanted to cry. It was the best Christmas gift she’d ever received.
“Your sweet innocence has captured my heart,” he whispered. His voice changed and became deep and rough. “I want you to know, you will always be my girl, Shan, no matter what goes on in my life. You’re the best part of my world. I’m not sure what I’d do without you to inspire me.”
Chris raised a hand to her cheek. The warmth of his palm almost disguised the slight tremor in his fingers. His thumb grazed her jaw line and Shanda sighed with pleasure. She closed her eyes to savor the delicious touch and felt his hand slide down to the nape of her neck. When she felt a pulling sensation her eyes opened slowly. Chris stood looking down at her, his passionate face only inches away.
Oh, my God… He’s going to kiss me!
She held her breath, unsure whether to go up on tippy-toe or simply wait for his next move. She loved the feel of his work-roughened hand, warm on her cool skin. It was the hand of a strong man, a hard working one.
He leaned down further, then…
He was gone—the contact broken. Shanda’s soul and heart cried out for the return of his closeness so he would touch her again.
“I—I’m sorry, Shan. I can’t. You’re still too…”
Shanda felt pain and closed her eyes against the onslaught. Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. He isn’t going to kiss me; he thinks I’m still too young. She was fifteen, nearly sixteen! Well, in six more months. But she wasn’t a child, not any more. Would he forever treat her like one?
Chris couldn’t stand seeing the hurt on her face. He released her swiftly, circled her shaking body and slammed open the front door, running for his car. He couldn’t do this to his sweet Shanda. She meant everything to him and he refused to spoil it all by hitting on her as if she was nothing more than a flavor of the week.
Shanda watched his hasty retreat with pain in her heart. No matter what he thought she wasn’t too young, not with Chris! They were meant to be together. She just needed to show him the way.
Determination lit a fire in her belly and lifted her chin. In that moment she vowed he would be kissing her by Christmastime next year.
~*~
Christmas - 1 year later
Shanda watched the doorway closely, waiting. Chris would be arriving any time now. She remembered the pain from her sweet-sixteenth birthday party and the feeling of hope that it would be special and Chris would finally see her as an adult. It wasn’t to be. The heavy disappointment couldn't compare with her heartbreak.
Shanda’s embarrassment happened once everyone left the party. She cornered Chris outside, before he opened his car door. They were finally alone. Shanda shut her eyes as a tear escaped, remembering the humiliation...
Chris turned suddenly at the feel of a firm hand on his arm. He saw Shanda and sighed heavily. “Shanda, I have to go. I…I have a date.”
It was a lie; she could see it in his eyes. The use of her full name did not go unnoticed. He was trying to distance himself and she wouldn’t allow it.
“Yes, you do have a date—with me. I’ve been waiting a long time to receive my sweet-sixteen, birthday kiss. I want it to be from you,” she whispered emotionally, her heart in her eyes.
“Dammit, Shan, I can’t kiss you. You don’t understand what it would mean if I did. I’m not sure I could stop with a kiss and I know you aren’t even close to ready for something more. Can you understand?”
“No. All I know is my heart wants you and you’re running away from me, again.”
He gave a harsh laugh. “I’m running away from what I might end up doing to you and then you’d hate me forever.”
She was already shaking her head. “I could never hate you, Chris, no matter what happened.”
“You don’t know that, Shan. You have no idea what I feel inside, how much I—” Burn for you. Thank God he didn’t say it.
She stepped closer until her soft breasts pressed against his hard chest. Raising her chin, she whispered, “We’ll never know for sure, will we? Unless you kiss me, now…” she breathed, her lips parted and ready.
Chris grabbed her upper arms to push her away. At least that’s what he intended to do. Somehow, though, he ended up pulling her tighter against him until his mouth was an inch away from her own. His head was spinning and he tried to shake it, but the desire to taste her innocence overcame good judgment and good sense.
His voice emerged in a deep, guttural sound of pain. “Shan—”
“Yes, Chris, yes…”
He kissed her before he could change his mind, passionately, almost roughly. Only at the sound of her soft moan did the pressure of his mouth lessen until he was coaxing her lips with his firm mouth. This was madness and he was caught up in the decadent splendor of Shanda’s scent and taste. She intoxicated his senses and he couldn’t get enough of her.
Rolling along the car, he pinned her against the backseat door. His arms surrounded her, keeping her flush against him. When he stepped between her legs and pressed his shaft into her belly, her gasp of innocent surprise was the slap he needed to bring him out of his lusty haze.
Chris broke the kiss and buried his face against her neck, his breathing harsh, a mirror of her own. Head down, he once more grasped her upper arms, only this time he firmly pushed himself back, away from her and closer to sanity.
“Dammit, Shan. Why did you—?”
Her voice emerged breathless and hopeful. “Because I’ve wanted a kiss from you for as long as I can remember. There’s a special bond between us, Chris. I know you feel it; you just proved it to me. It’s more than chemistry or lust. It’s love.”
Chris' head snapped up and his eyes narrowed. “What could you possibly know about lust, or love? You’re just a child!”
Shanda gasped as pain sliced through her heart. Her lower lip trembled and she bit it hard, refusing to show him how much he hurt her with the careless words. “I stopped being a child the day I realized no other boy would ever make me feel the way you do. I want to have your children one day.”
Chris' body shook and he didn’t know why. Partly in anger, he guessed, but mostly in shock of her declaration. My God…children.
“You see, Shan, that’s why I know you aren’t ready for a mature relationship. I’m not a boy. The feelings I have for you are from a hot-blooded man. You aren’t ready for the kind of passion only a man can feel. I’m not some virginal boy who’s looking to sneak his first kiss beneath the school bleachers. I’m a grown man with desires, Shan. A peck on the lips is not my idea of passion.”
“I want to experience your passion, Chris, all of it. I may be a virgin, but I know what I feel for you and it’s real. You want me, I know you do, and—”
“Dammit, Shan, stop it! This can’t happen, not now. You may be ready to just throw away your virginity, but I’m not going to be the one you hate when you do it!”
With a none-too-gentle shove, he pushed her away from the car and quickly got behind the wheel. Within seconds his car sped away, the smell of burnt rubber hovering in the air.
Shanda stood in the middle of the street, unaware of the adult audience watching from the front porch. She didn’t move until Chris' tail lights disappeared from view.
That’s it—it’s over. She tried to show him how she felt, pouring out her heart and he turned her down flat. He definitely wanted her, though. She remembered feeling his bold erection against her stomach quite clearly. Still, he rejected her love!
Love. She knew more about the emotion than he realized! He thought she was a child, but only her body was young. Her heart felt ancient. She’d been in love with Chris her whole life. Why couldn’t he see it, too? Why was he afraid to allow her fully into his heart?
Shanda vividly remembered the anguish of that night, months ago and knew with a certainty when Chris showed up tonight, she would be the last person to fawn all over him.
In the background Shanda heard Chris' voice and felt her body’s betrayal. Deep inside, it tightened and sweat gathered on her forehead. Shanda clutched her dress until her hands began to go numb. Realizing what she was doing, she took a deep breath and relaxed her grip on the soft fabric. Shanda wanted to see him again, though she’d dreaded this moment since her sixteenth birthday party. How would he treat her, what would he say? No matter what happened the night of her party, she still wanted Chris’ love. His response made it clear he did not want to be with her. And somehow, during the next few torturous hours, Shanda must force herself to pretend she didn’t care one way or the other.
Shanda could hear everyone coming closer until they entered the living room where she stood waiting. In slow motion, Chris' eyes rose until they landed on her face. All talk ceased and all eyes turned toward Shanda. This is it—time to wear the I’m happy mask.
“Hello, Chris. Merry Christmas.” Her smile was wide, but it lacked true warmth and welcome.
“Shan, same to you.” He nodded and she returned the gesture.
Chris turned back to his brother and continued their conversation, Shanda quickly forgotten.
Shanda smiled again, since her parents were looking at her strangely. Slowly, she walked over to the tree and knelt down as if to arrange the gifts underneath. She needed time to compose herself.
After a few moments she caught sight of her mother kneeling alongside her, also pretending to arrange the gifts. Her mother didn’t wait long to speak.
“It’s good to see everyone together ‘gain, don’tcha think?”
“Mmm-hmm...” Do I look as hysterical as I sound?
“And Chris is looking very…good, too.”
Already on the verge of tears, Shanda raised misty eyes to her mother. Kim smiled in the special, understanding way only mothers have, but this time Shanda didn’t feel any better.
Kim didn’t waste any time and cut right to the heart of the matter. “Give it time, Shanda. You aren’t the only one who’s got to be ready. He has to be ready for you, too. Give ‘em time to see the woman you’ll be one day.”
Shanda sniffled and struggled to smile. “I will, Mom, but he isn’t even trying to give us a chance. I’m just a kid to him.”
“Right now, five years is a big difference. Maybe once you’re off to college, he’ll feel different. Time apart can work wonders for changing a man's heart. Give yourself a few more years, honey. A woman’s heart is tender and awfully emotional, but a man’s heart will always need extra time to find his happiness. Chris needs time to see where his heart really is…where it’s always been,” she ended on a whisper.
Through her tears, Shanda smiled and gave a little laugh, hugging her mother close. Kim was wild and full of life, but her advice was always honest and straightforward. She wanted to be just like her mother one day.
“Come on, Shanda-girl. I don’t know ‘bout you, but that pecan pie is callin’.”
Laughing, Shanda stood and followed her mother from the room, catching Chris' eye as she walked. The look she sent his way must have surprised him because he stared at her hard, his brow lowered in confusion. Her mother was right. Already she felt different. The pressure of convincing Chris that he really loved her was like a dead weight removed from her shoulders. Time would make its mark.
~*~
The night was a smashing success. Shanda felt certain the night would be suffused with tension and heartache, but she was surprisingly happy and content.
When it came time for them to leave, Shanda kissed everyone good-bye. Everyone except Chris, who was already outside doing something under the hood of his car. Shanda wasn’t fooled, though. It was clearly evasion.
Kathleen leaned out the front door. “Chris, would you come inside and help Kim carry the gifts to their car?”
Chris poked his head up from the bowels of the engine and hollered back. “Sure thing, Mom. Be right there.”
Shanda was about to leave through the front door when she looked up. Mistletoe. The garage door was open and Chris came into the house through its maze of boxes, just to avoid her. Shanda nearly laughed out loud. Chris was in the living room, bent over to gather a handful of gifts. A devilish gleam lit her eyes. Evasion would do him no good.
Before she could move toward the inside door leading to the garage, a sound caught her attention. In the distance she could hear someone closing the garage door. Moments later, Kathleen walked into the house from the garage door, locking it securely. She turned and winked at Shanda who smiled and nodded her understanding. Shanda faced the living room and patiently stood in the direct path to the front door, blocking the way outside.
Her dad, Jon, was loading the other gifts into the trunk. Now was her chance. It wouldn’t come again for a very long time.
Shanda followed Chris’ movements as he walked at a quick pace toward the front door. He looked up and saw her, standing in his path. His pace slowed until he was a few feet away. Shanda delighted at the confusion crossing his features.
“I’m helping Jon load the car, Shan.”
Shanda only smiled in response. After a moment, she casually looked up, knowing his eyes would follow. She heard a deep groan and smiled wider, lowering her gaze to his face until his eyes found her own.
Chris narrowed his gaze and took measured steps forward until he was close, close enough to kiss her, even with the packages in the way. He leaned over and kissed her forehead with a loud smack of his lips. He pulled back, pleased with himself.
Shanda continued to smile until his gloating faded.
“Enjoy your time while you can, Christopher Milano. I won’t be sixteen forever. One day, very soon, the child you fear will fade away and the woman you desire will surface. Then you’ll no longer have an excuse to put me off.”
Stepping aside for him to pass, she giggled when he nearly ran for her father’s car.
This feeling... How could she describe it? It was decidedly feminine, a feeling of power and the knowledge that she was in control of her emotions. She would wait for Chris to come around. She refused to be defeated or dissuaded and vowed never to give up. One day, when he was ready, she’d be waiting.
Then, God help him!
Chapter Two
December 23rd
Six years later
Six years… In six years Shanda grew from an unsure adolescent into a mature woman. Her days of dreaming for love were long gone. Nearly four years of college changed the dreams of having her own family one day. She lost her dreamy-eyed innocence and along with it the hope of ever finding Mr. Right and the subsequent happily-ever-after life.
Once she left home, maturity came quickly. Attempting to maintain the tough standards in college, she’d been forced to put aside personal dreams and focus only on her dreams of running her own business. While her roommate and peers partied the nights away, Shanda studied hard, maintaining the high GPA and the straight “A” status she’d achieved in high school. After almost four years of consistent schooling and graduating with honors five months early, she was ready to go home and begin a business and future all her own.
Dance. How she loved to dance! She'd majored in it and minored in Business. Her plans were to rent a suite in the strip mall she’d been keeping an eye on in her home town. It would make a perfect dance studio where she could teach dance and drama to under-privileged kids. It was a dream she’d worked hard to realize.
After receiving an approved loan two weeks ago, Shanda felt confident to go ahead and call her list of suppliers and organize her preparatory “To Do” calling list for corporate sponsoring.
She wasn't staying for the mid-year graduation ceremony for those students who graduated a semester early. There was no one to attend. She'd already called her parents, insisting she'd much rather come home. The dean graciously gave her the diploma this morning, right before she began to pack.
Shanda glanced at her watch, noting the time. Dad should be here any minute. She smiled, eager to see her family.
First thing tomorrow the Fire Marshal would be inspecting her new building. That gave her tonight to look it over and double-check the building code requirements and renting regulations. She didn't anticipate any problems. The Fire Marshal's seal of approval on the rented suite would be the last thing to do on her list before beginning the construction process.
One thing at a time, though. Right now, it was time to go home.
~*~
Shanda Bratton was coming home. Chris gulped at the idea of seeing her for the first time in so many years. It scared the hell out of him too because he knew, he just knew, the first thing she would say to him.
Kim boasted like crazy a few weeks ago that Shanda had graduated with honors and was about to leave five months early after having completed all of her courses for graduation. She was going to open a dance studio here in town, trying to help kids whose parents worked after school hours, or whose parents just didn’t give a damn where their kids went every day after school. Shanda's heart was large and everyone knew it. His respect for what she wanted to accomplish grew as the years progressed. He didn’t have a doubt in the world this dance studio would happen and be a raving success.
Kim always carried a new picture of Shanda each time she visited his mother. Time matured Shanda physically and she had blossomed into a beautiful woman. That was just one more thing that scared the hell out of him. If she'd been hard to resist before, as little more than a kid, how on earth was he supposed to resist her as a grown woman?
After she left for college, he was shocked to discover she wouldn’t be coming home for Christmas. She would be spending Christmas volunteering at a local shelter “who needed her more.” It didn’t surprise him as much as finding out Shanda wouldn’t be coming home for periodic visits, at least when he was around.
Several times Kim told him about short visits she made on certain weekends, only staying for a few hours, or sometimes a whole day. If he didn’t know any better, he would say she was purposely avoiding him. Could he blame her? After all, he’d pushed her away, literally.
Dammit, though, she’d only been a kid! He had to push her away or end up doing something both of them would regret forever.
His conscience reminded him subtly… Shanda’s nearly twenty-two now, college graduate and all woman. I haven't seen her in nearly four years. What changes did time bring to my best girl?
He’d find out any minute. Shanda thought her dad was picking her up and bringing her home. She didn’t know her dad asked him, at the last minute, to make the five hour drive and bring her home, just in time for Christmas. She was in for a shock.
Chris was actually afraid to see her after so many years. What would she think after seeing him again? He was almost twenty-seven now and ran the Milano Worldwide Security Force Company that used to belong to his father. Would she be as proud of his accomplishments as he was of her own?
Last year his dad stepped down and presently played a smaller role in the company. Chris ran it efficiently and with a knowledgeable team of employees. Currently, there were over eight hundred worldwide. It was difficult at times and he wondered how on earth his dad did this every day for so many years. But after meeting his father’s friends and employees, he knew. His father employed the best of the best. When he delegated a directive, his father expected his employees to be efficient and on the mark—and they were. Those same loyal men and women worked for him now. He’d spent years under his dad’s leadership, learning the ropes, learning what it took to run an international company. He admitted to loving every minute of it.
Parking his car in front of Shanda’s dorm, he went in search of her room. After asking directions from a student in a hurry, he located the floor she was on and flattened himself against the wall in the small hallway when three girls rushed by with suitcases swinging from their hands. The last thing he needed was to be put out of commission by the edge of a flying suitcase.
Shanda’s room was at the end of the hall, last door on the right. Two more girls followed the other three, walking much slower. They wore scowls and spoke in loud whispers, as if wanting to be heard. He wasn’t trying to listen in until his ears perked up when he heard Shanda’s name.
“Thank God she’s finally leaving!”
“Humph. Got that right! She’s a cold bitch who hasn’t even tried to make a friend in the three and a half years she’s been here. I heard some guy knocked her up last year and she had the kid over the Christmas holidays and gave it away. She never smiles, never parties with anyone and does nothing but lock herself in her room every night to study. I feel sorry for the man who gets stuck with her. If she ever gets a man at all.” They snickered then gave each other a high-five with their fingertips, stuck-up style.
The two were well down the hall and Chris could no longer hear their conversation. He stopped, leaned against the wall and took a deep breath. His brows lowered and a chill went through his blood as he considered the possibility of Shanda being knocked up.
Could Shanda have become pregnant without his knowledge? Or her parents’? Shanda, having another man’s baby… Why did the thought create a violent urge to smash in the bastard's face? Kim kept him posted on how she was doing, but nearly four years was a long time. It could very well be possible, though it didn’t sound like the Shanda he’d known all of his life. She swore when she was younger that she would wait until marriage before having sex with Mr. Right. She swore to wait for him. Chris was the one she wanted to be with forever...right?
Chris’ eyes widened with a horrible realization. He’d rejected her attention over and over again. Sweet Jesus... Did I push her away and into the arms of some strange man?
Another thought hit him hard. Baby or not, was Shanda intimate with anyone in the last four years? Why did the thought of her kissing and making love to another man drive him insane? No, he couldn’t believe it. He refused to believe it! Shanda was the epitome of innocence, with a kind heart and a sweet disposition. Never in a million years would she throw away her virginity on some idiotic jerk who would do nothing but use her.
Determined to get an answer, Chris strode purposefully down the hallway to the last door on the right. Turning into the open doorway, his eyes were drawn left toward movement. Shanda’s frame bent low over a suitcase which rested at the foot of the bed. She inserted a stack of clothes and smoothed them with the palms of her hands. Chris shifted his stance, suddenly uncomfortable with the vision of those hands smoothing a path across his chest and down his torso. He shook his head, trying to dispel the tempting imagine.
The suitcase made a clicking noise as she pressed down the locks. She picked up her training case and put it alongside the suitcase on the bed as well as her purse and a shoulder bag. Apparently, she was ready to go.
She cut her hair. It was the first intimate thing he noticed. Shanda’s blonde hair once reached the middle of her back and she used to wear it in a ponytail. Now, it brushed the tops of her shoulders with curly abandon. She’d also grown a few inches taller. The fitted ivory sweater top and matching straight skirt revealed a smaller waist and her curves were more voluptuous. At least, from the back. The three-inch heels gave the impression of long, sculpted legs. Probably from her many years of dancing.
She was beautiful, radiant—grown up. Shanda bent over her suitcase to dig into her monster purse. The movement drew his eyes like a magnet to her lower body. She raised up on one long leg to reach over and her tight skirt pulled even tighter across defined hips and a perfectly rounded bottom. Chris’ mouth began to water. He squinted and focused on her bottom. No panties lines. He licked his lips with an imagination gone wild. She was definitely all woman. His erection was just piss-pour timing. He quickly adjusted himself and tried to calm his raging lust before she turned around.
Then she turned around. Damn it all to hell...
Chris heard her sharp, indrawn breath and watched as she held it in her lungs. Those hazel green eyes locked onto his face immediately, a frown turning down her mouth and brows. He watched her chest relax as she exhaled.
“What are you doing here? Dad should be picking me up in a few minutes.”
Chris cringed, disappointed she didn’t return the once-over he’d just given her. Shanda’s voice was cold, flat, unwelcoming. Her tone mirrored the set-in resentment in her eyes. There was no emotion, except maybe distaste. Expecting her to jump up and down might’ve been pushing it, but he never expected this reaction. She was a woman of the world now…possibly a woman who’d seen and done too much. Maybe even a woman with deep-set regrets.
Chris’ face changed to a hard mask. “Tell me it isn’t true, Shan.”
Shanda’s eyes narrowed. Abruptly, she turned and snatched up her purse and the shoulder bag, looping them over her head. Picking up her suitcase in one hand and training case in the other—almost forcefully—she walked toward him. Shanda tried not to bite her lip at the added weight. She wasn’t a wallflower by any stretch of the imagination, but darn if her suitcase and training case weren’t at least ninety pounds combined!
“What isn’t true, Chris? That I’ve grown up, moved on with my life? Or that I no longer have a place for you in it? I'm not the young innocent girl you once knew.” Moving quickly, Shanda attempted to go around him and out the door.
Chris caught her arm, the one with the heavy suitcase that looked like it weighted a ton. The thing looked ancient. It was an old Samsonite, which didn’t have rollers. Was it the same one Kim used when she went to college twenty years ago? “No, you’re not. Obviously you don’t care about anyone anymore. Is it true you never came home for the holidays so your family would never know about the baby you carried and gave away? How could you keep that from them, Shan?” Quietly, he added, “How could you keep it from me?”
Chris watched as something highly emotional flashed in her bright hazel eyes. Pain, maybe, or disappointment. Even regret. Her eyes were red with unshed tears, though it looked as if she’d been crying in the last twenty-four hours.
Shanda spoke softly, her voice thick with accusation. “People will believe what they want to believe, Chris; it doesn’t matter what I say. This is why I never bothered to defend myself. I thought you, of all people, would have more faith in me. There’s no one alive who should know me better.”
Shanda tugged her arm free of his grip and Chris released her, watching as she walked briskly out the door.
~*~
Shanda shook so badly she didn’t think she would be able to grip her suitcases much longer as she walked down the hallway, away from Chris.
Chris…
She stayed away from home, for the most part, through her college years. Kim, her compassionate and understanding mother, coordinated visits so she wouldn’t bump into Chris by accident in town.
Seeing him moments ago, though, felt comfortable and familiar, like she’d seen him only yesterday. He was even more handsome than she remembered. It was difficult not to stare and she refused to check him out while he watched. Regardless, she got an eye-full. There was a detailed definition to his face and more lines around his eyes which made him appear worldly. His face always seemed remarkable to her in her youth, but now possessed character and charm. Chris was a man in his prime and it showed.
He radiated a confidence she’d only glimpsed as a teen. Chris was a man who was making his mark on the world and she respected all he’d done. Her mother made sure she was kept up-to-date on all of Chris’ accomplishments.
Shanda was struggling down the staircase to the bottom floor with her heavy suitcase when she felt the weight of it quickly removed. She jumped in surprise and flattened herself against the wall, watching Chris mumble to himself as he descended the stairs quickly and headed for the main lobby door. Shanda lifted the training case against her chest for a moment, rendered motionless by his actions. She couldn’t stop her eyes from gazing with appreciation at the sight of his powerful frame as he walked down the stairs, carrying the suitcase like it weighted nothing. Holy cow, he is strong!
In the past Chris walked with a smooth grace envied by most men. He’d kept the smooth gait, but his body had grown in muscle and mass. He was devastatingly beautiful and her heart still pumped like crazy when she saw him. He affected her on so many levels. What she felt couldn’t be defined, but her body sang a familiar song with a stronger intensity. It hummed with energy and desire. She felt alive!
Now that the shock was wearing off, she continued to follow him at a slower pace, a small smile making its way into her heart. Shanda remembered his gruff words from a few minutes ago. Damn irritating woman, too stubborn to let a man help.
Woman. He called me a woman! For the first time in Shanda’s life, her heart knew a woman’s joy with a feeling of hope and anticipation. He just gave her a flattering compliment without even knowing it. Nuisance, stubborn and cute were words she’d heard from him before today. Woman…no other word could ever sound sweeter to her starved ears. It was the one thing she’d wanted from Chris for as long as she could remember.
By the time she passed through the lobby door to the outside, Chris slammed the trunk shut and slid behind the wheel of his car. His impatience was evident. From here she could see him drumming his fingers on the top of the steering wheel. He rolled down the passenger side window and she knew he would be hollering at her any second. She picked up the pace.
Shanda’s internal smile worked its way to the corners of her mouth as she crossed the grass in front of the dorm. Since entering college and faced with four years of hard, intense studies, she convinced herself to forget about Chris and any possible future they may have together. It didn’t work. Once upon a time she vowed to wait for him, saying she would be ready when he was ready. That innocent outlook disappeared after six months within these walls. Why would he wait for her to grow up when he could have a woman for every day of the week? She was simply a girl he’d teased, flirted with and befriended when they were kids.
It would seem she was wrong, though. Chris’ actions spoke louder than words. Maybe he remembered their one moment of shared passion on her sixteenth birthday and their many years of close friendship. Maybe he would—
Thirty feet from the car, raised voices and jeers caught her attention. Shanda stopped walking and looked over her shoulder at a large group of her peers a good sixty feet away. Her smile vanished. Ten or eleven students walked across the grass in front of the dorm doors she just exited, waving as if they really cared. Their loud taunts carried in the air and Shanda saw several other groups of students stop and look over toward the commotion. Her cheeks heated with humiliation. She knew what they would say next.
“Bye, CF!” one boy hollered. “Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out!” They all laughed loudly, except a few who hid their smiles behind their hands.
A girl hanging on his arm called out, “Don’t bother to write, CF! We all know you have places to go and guys to do!”
Shanda didn’t say a word, throwing back insults of her own. Although she burned to put them in their place, she refused to cause more of a scene. She had more respect for herself than to submit to their level of thinking.
Turning her head back toward the car, Shanda desperately tried to hide the humiliation she felt, even though their insults were unfounded. Unable to move, Shanda looked forward, though she didn’t really see anything. Everything was a blur and her insides felt numb.
CF—Cold Fish. She hated that name. The other insults delivered over the years stopped hurting soon after it all started. She’d developed a tough skin in the last three and a half years and remained emotionless to their cruel barbs. This one, though, was a thorn under her skin and more difficult to ignore. Her heart hurt anew every time she heard it.
Could it be true? Did her heart turn cold toward the idea of passion and sensation? Did she become the frigid woman she’d been labeled in the last four years?
A car door slammed and Shanda’s head popped up. She tried to focus, but couldn’t past the numb feeling in her soul. It wasn’t until Chris circled the car and started toward her that Shanda saw the anger on his face. She responded automatically.
“I’m sorry for the wait, Chris. I’m coming.” She began walking toward the car.
Suddenly, Chris’ face lit up, happiness clear in his vivid blue eyes. His voice was a little loud and she jumped at the booming sound. “Shan! God, I’ve missed you! Let’s get out of this dump, Mrs. Bratton. Grandma is watching Kristina for us until we get back.”
Not waiting for a reply, Chris swept her and the two shoulder bags and training case up into his arms and swung her 'round and 'round until the trees started to blend together. Before she could think, Chris stopped abruptly and kissed her with the passion of a man who'd waited forever to put his arms around his woman. It was quick, but the kiss' power made her entire body weak.
Setting her on her feet, Chris let go and Shanda began to collapse. Laughing in a completely satisfied male way, Chris picked her up again and walked briskly to the car. He opened her door like a gentleman and set her inside, closing the door gently. Moments later he slid smoothly into the driver's seat, gunned the engine of his brand new silver Ferrari F430 Spider and sped away.
Shanda blinked, not sure what just happened. As she looked out the side window to the group in front of the dorm, she saw their mouths hanging open in shock. The jeers were finally silenced. The comical scene did not escape her notice, although she couldn’t smile. She glanced over to Chris. The smirk on his face implied a wicked delight.
Baby? Grandma? What the devil had possessed Chris a minute ago? The scenery rushed by for a full five minutes before Shanda’s shock wore off and she realized the full extent of what Chris did for her. He saved her reputation by confirming the rumors, but in a positive light. She didn’t get knocked up then give her baby away. No, she was married all along, delivered a baby during the holidays, maybe, then finished college. This would be the lasting impression in their minds. And Chris was the man to thank for it.
She should thank him, but words escaped her. Tears overflowed from her eyes and she bit her lip to silence the sound of her crying. Shanda knew she failed when Chris pulled into the parking lot of an abandoned grocery store. He parked toward the back, underneath the shade of a large tree.
Switching off the engine, Chris pulled her into his arms and soothed her with comforting words. He stroked her hair and buried his fingers in it, trying to calm the turbulent emotions pouring from her injured heart.
After several minutes, Shanda pulled away and smiled with gratitude. “Thank you, Chris. You didn’t have to come to my rescue back at the dorms. I stopped caring what they think long ago.”
“Not true.” He reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his palm resting warmly against the side of her neck. "You care or you wouldn’t be crying. They’re immature brats who don’t know how to be kind to others. I faced my own set of demonic assholes in college too.”
Shanda found his gaze and cocked her head to the side. He was the same Chris she’d always known, but different in subtle ways. He was more mature than she remembered, kinder and more understanding. Wisdom tempered the worldliness he’d acquired over the years. They were qualities she found very appealing.
Shanda smiled and Chris returned it—until his gaze lowered to her mouth. She saw a flash of memory in her head of the kiss they shared on the college grounds. Shanda’s body was on fire for the touch of his lips again. His warm palm slid around to the back of her neck then up into her hair, cupping the back of her head. It was as if he’d read her mind. Shanda didn't need any coaxing, though. She moved forward and found Chris' mouth with ease, delighted when he accepted her open-mouthed invitation. The other kiss was for show. This one was honest, real and all fire.
Chris groaned, his tongue licking at her teeth before circling her own tongue in passionate play. His other hand was splayed wide on her back, drawing her closer.