Broken Heart
Copyright 2011 by Coyotes Publishing
Smashwords Edition
Pain
It
hurts when I see it.
People with there signifigant others, me
without shit.
All that love between the two.
While I sit, bein
ignored by all.
I can't do this anymore, I have to find
someone.
Even though there is no one out there for me.
I'm
destined to be alone forever & ever.
I'm destined to live
in the dark & feel the pain.
Maybe
I should lay it all on the line.
Maybe I should tell her how I
feel this time.
Who knows what I should do, besides continuing
to swallow my feelings.
Been doin
so for 22 years.
I don't know what else to do, things probally
won't go my way if I do tell her that.
- Kennie -
Stomach
Filled Of Feelings
Why is it that my stomach hurts so
much.
It's probally missing the softness of her touch.
The gleem in her eyes anytime she smiled.
I felt it in my stomach everytime we got together.
It's a shame things had to end this way, but they did.
If I could
have changed the outcome I would have.
Guess things had to be like
this, just my luck.
Never had a chance with her, even though I
wanted.
She said
things may progress that way.
But they didn't, what else is for me
to do.
Might as
well settle with bein alone.
That's all that it's goin to be for
me.
Oh well
it's not like anythin will ever be different.
I should have known,
I should have seen.
That through this whole world.
No one is
out there
looking for me
- Kennie -
Wednesday
Wednesday
is the day that I'm fearing
Wednesday is the day that will
suck.
I'm going to be so depressed.
She isn't going to call,
she isn't even goin to come.
I wish things wouldn't go that way.
I
don't know what to do.
I don't know what to say.
What should I
do to change the outcome.
Should I not ask, then I won't have to
worry.
Should I ask then meet my fate.
Should I
just randomly call someone.
Call someone I use to goto school
with.
What the
hell should I do.
Where the hell should I go.
Guess I'm
here to live alone.
Guess i'm here to die alone.
-
Kennie -
Inspiration
Always the inspiration of mine but she don't know.
The
differences of me makes me worry she's gonna say no.
I worry each
day that it maybe the last.
We both share a similar past.
Growin
up with almost the same childhood.
Worried about not findin
someone, but later I would.
Always there to catch me when I
fall.
Always willin to make me feel better when I call.
The
sweetest thing to me is she.
Petrafied in many ways she'd find
someone better than me.
I know I'm not perfect in anyway.
Seein
how most of the time I live day 2 day.
She will always have a place in my heart.
No matter
what happens from here on out.
I want to give ******** a special
shout out.
I love you baby.
- Kennie -
Chance Of
A Lifetime
Shes my chance of a life time, no time to start
lying.
Shes e
verythin I look for in someone I'd want to be with.
No one has any
chance at all to ever get with me.
Without her I have no idea
where I'd be half the time.
This is my second time takin the
chance to rhyme.
No matter how I end it she will always
know.
She's my chance of a lifetime.
Let it be heard
through this rhyme.
Even if it
takes all my life to to show it.
She'll be the luckiest girl, she
knows it.
Once a lifetime chance
One shot at one final
dance.
No one
else could come close.
Never shall I began to boast.
Lovin
her always.
ALways givin her the love she wants.
- Kennie
-
In The
Rain
In the rain I stand, allowin the tears from above to
fall.
Listenin to the cries that surround me, as they look upon
the dead.
Sorrows continue to fill the sky as it rains more &
more.
As I walk around the casket as if nobody sees me moving.
Wondering
why they cry so much over the dead.
Trying to talk to them to show
them that they are away from all.
Nobody seems to see me, nobody
looks my way.
As I start to shout nothing is changed, It's all
still the same.
Why don't they react as I start to panic thinking
the worse.
Thinking it was all a dream as I try to calm myself.
I
throw open the casket to see myself.
In a shock I slammed it shut,
not wanting to believe it.
I look over my should to see the devil
himself.
I quickly spin around to see a bright light.
Wonderin
which am I goin to be placed upon.
The next thing i know an angel
appears before me.
The angel is none other than *******, the love
of my life.
I run over to hug her as she whispers to me;
"See
baby, I told you we'd be together forever"
- Kennie -
Fake Love
******** met Ken on the internet one day.
She enjoyed
everythin he had to say.
Two weeks later she went to a friends
party.
This is where she met up with an old friend named ****
When
Ken called her at the party she acted teh same.
But it was as if
she was scared to say his name.
When the party ended she walked on
home.
Expecting to talk with Kennie on the phone.
When she came
home she wasn't alone.
**** was with her, she forgot all about
Kennie.
When people asked about him the only thing she said was
"who is he anyway"
Her heart quickly turned cold to
him.
As she warmed up to **** one night.
They turned on the TV
much to there delight.
A man found slain.
Kennie was his
name
- Kennie -
The Call
Callin claimin your cell is broken
Actin like you don't know
me.
Lay off the drugs you've been taken.
When it's clear to me
your a dumb ass bitch.
Who is lookin to find herself dead in a
ditch.
Call and act like you don't know who I be.
Stand up,
turn & run & count to three.
Now you got a head
start.
Don't think your gonna get away.
When I catch you you'll
fear the day.
Take a step back to see yourself in the
grave.
Runnin around all fake wantin to be brave.
It's time to
eliminate you from this world now.
We have realized your an ugly
fucking sow.
No one cares bout you, no one will miss you.
Till
your in my trunk black & blue.
Step away, run away.
Don't
look into the eyes of evil>
- Kennie -
Fake. Ass.
Bitches
Theres many of these F.A.B out there.
Running your
mind, tryinto get into my head.
But once you enter you wish you
were dead.
The door to my mind only swings one way.
You may
enter but won't live to see the exit.
Its about time you all
entered for the final time.
Get your name entered into at least
one rhyme.
If you can live to see the next day.
Without any
mental stress catching up to you.
Then you deserve to be rewarded
with more pain.
Since thats all I am to you is a ego booster.
Let
yourself run rampid as you wish.
You'll run into myself as you beg
for the list.
Warned & scorned you shall be.
Light yourself
on fire just for me.
Put yourself through the pain you did to
me.
Now you can suffer more, just cause you must.
- Kennie
-
No Love
Can't write bout things I don't feel.
While everyone around me
is finding it, my heart is cold as steel.
Never once has anyone
loved me or told me so.
Never once has anyone hugged me showing
signs of love.
They all turn a cold shoulder to me.
Some don't
think I see it in them but sadly I do.
They're only out to make my
life a living hell too.
To spout my mind as they get my pen to
write.
Forever a part of my notebook, that lives in the
night.
Through my mind you tell me you felt sorry.
Please quit
boring me with the bullshit story.
As much as I try to be what you
want.
It quickly becomes more clear to me.
That your just lying
to yourself.
So be sure to leave me.
I don’t need you, I
never do.
My heart cold as steel, my heart black too.
- Kennie
-
Pains Me
It pains me to see all those beautiful girls.
Not bein able to
talk to them or be with'em makes me hurl.
It gets me so down at
times that I never know what to do.
I'm just a shut in tryin to
make my way in the world like you to.
Guess it's just my imposing
stature that has ya scared.
To build upon it or not to who really
cares.
It pains me to be this way.
Even though it's
constantly through out the day.
Everytime I see a beautiful girl I
feel like this.
They're all hits when I'm just a swing an a
miss.
Everyone around me I drag down.
Sinkin ya so far
you'll be dead under the ground.
Maybe I should get up an
disappear.
I know I'm nothin more than a pain in the rear.
What
more do I need to say I can't describe the pain.
Maybe I need a
doctor to perscribed some anti-pain
- Kennie -
Explaining
Me
Listen I know what it's like to go through.
Even though
I have yet to be physically beaten black & blue.
I know I
haven't gone through that physical trama.
But I've gone through
alot of verbal shit to test my mental stanima.
I know your just
tryin to get to know me an perhaps even get close.
Never did
anyone attempt that without stabbin me in the back so they can
boast.
I know I'm fucked up, It's something I've delt with all
my life.
Some how I still continue to go on everyday with this so
called life.
I always have trouble unbottlin my emotions so they
always are stuck.
But I never know what to do, I always fade into
the background.
Since I hate bein the center of attention, it's
just me I know.
I also dislike hanging out with groups of people,
guess thats cause of my past.
I know that I'm always quiet, I'm
always yelled at by people.
For sayin or doin the wrong thing, I
mostly keep mysaelf away from others.
Nothin but bad memories in
the past is what things reflect.
I don't know what more to say,
this all seems like nothin.
But it's just stupid shit that have
made me so fucked up.
- Kennie -
Tough
Times
I know no life can be easy in this world so please
don't give up.
Although you maybe pregnant with an unwanted child,
thanks me on the heads up.
Tough times is never an easy thing to
go through.
I felt as if I had to write to release the pain in my
stomach continues to drew.
No idea at what it maybe, but I don't
like it.
Keepin me awake late at night thinkin bout nothin but
you.
I hope you
do come out to dinner with us it'll do ya good.
You may not like
me for some reason but deep down ya should.
Know that I can't stop
thinkin bout you.
Images flash through my mind of you gettin
assaulted too.
You may not know how I feel cause i probally don't
got the courage.
To show you what I have written.
But if what I
feel is love, than I was bitten.
I don't know how you feel bout
me, maybe I'll never know.
But through these tough times I'm here
for you so.
If you want to talk you got my number.
Even though
I'm up late I can't help to wonder.
As well as worry bout you,
perhaps your my angel.
I've just been too stupid to see it till
now.
- Kennie -
You On My
Mind
No matter what I do, no matter what I try.
You are
always on my mind most of the time.
Even though I'm scared to tell
you cause of what your goin through.
I just want nothin but the
best for you.
Although you may not get the chance to read
this.
Only cause my mind seems to be in an eternal bliss.
I
wish you nothin but the best.
You can give me the rest.
I don’t
know if it means anythin to you that I'm here.
It's sometimes like
I'm lookin through a mirror.
No matter how much I try I can't
stop.
The bad things from happening to you.
The pain in my
stomach continues to grow.
With each
devistating strike that life lands with each blow.
With me waitin
by my phones constantly for replies.
Your the only thing it think
of as time creeps by.
I'm sorry if I'm not what you want.
If
I'm not just please tell me.
Once I'm told I'll disappear into the
night.
Never to bug you anymore.
- Kennie
-
What To
Do
Now I don't know what to do.
It seems as if I have lost
contact with you.
Shall tonight even happen I don't know.
As I
sit here an write I feel things sink down low.
Will you ever have
a chance to read what I wrote.
I hope, these are emotions from me
so take note.
What I write may not always rhyme, but I hope the
words are here.
Lossin contact with you is my worse fear.
I
know I have a hard time with emotions, expressin'em and all.
But
what can I say it's perhaps one of my biggest down falls.
Be it as
it may, you haven't left my mind since monday.
Maybe I'm too
retarded not to see if anythin exsists.
No matter how much I write
bout you it always hurts.
I know as I write this I'm in
pain.
If you don't come tonight it'll be nothin but the same.
As
of this moment I don't know what to do.
Other than deep down I
feel like sheddin tears over you.
- Kennie
-
Tomorrow
(April 22 2005)
Tomorrow is the day in which i tell her how I
feel.
The anticipation got me worried that imma get shocked after
a big deal.
Too stupid to realize it till now, what will she
say.
Someone I can talk to an someone tryin to get through to me
each day.
Perhaps tonight is when I should tell her.
No way in
hell do I know what to expect.
This is the first time for me to
say somethin like this.
Will response be positive like a kiss or
negitive like a diss.
No time like the present to find out as I
just read.
Apart of Jumpsteady's "The Chaos Theory" he
states.
"Tell the girl how you feel, it's a chance to add to
your book
The book in which you'll come to see in the after
life."
So here goes nothing, positive = win
If somethin
bad than, negitive = loss
Got everythin to gain in this
one.
Nothin to loose expect part of my life.
As it'll be
somethin that'll be in my book.
But if
begitive I'll want to forget.
1 Chance
1 Shot
1 Time
1 Girl
-
Kennie -
Message
Sent
Well now the message has been sent.
We shall see if I
end up regrettin.
What I said, will she read it.
Will she
reply.
She's had a tough week.
Her life lately has gone through
alotta trama.
I sit here on my bed awaitin drama.
Good or bad
is up to her.
As for me I've had nothin but bad.
Which is
really sad.
Although many say you can't have bad all your life.
It
shall run out at sometime, so I might as well try.
If
response is negitive I shall time time to heal.
It'll make me
realize what truly is real.
Time shall say, but who knows she may
not read it.
- Kennie -