Excerpt for Naked: Musings from a Broken Heart by Willem Schutte, available in its entirety at Smashwords


Naked: Musings from a Broken Heart

By Willem Schutte

 

Published by JMS Books LLC at Smashwords

This book is available in print.

Visit jms-books.com for more information.

 

Copyright 2011 Willem Schutte

ISBN 978-1-61152-168-9

 

For more titles by Willem Schutte at Smashwords visit https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/willshut

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Cover Photo Credit: Elna Fourie

Used under a Standard Royalty-Free License.

Cover Design: Willem Schutte

All rights reserved

 

WARNING: This book is not transferable. It is for your own personal use. If it is sold, shared, or given away, it is an infringement of the copyright of this work and violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

No portion of this book may be transmitted or reproduced in any form, or by any means, without permission in writing from the publisher, with the exception of brief excerpts used for the purposes of review.

This book is for ADULT AUDIENCES ONLY. It contains substantial sexually explicit scenes and graphic language which may be considered offensive by some readers. Please store your files where they cannot be accessed by minors.

Published in the United States of America.

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Naked: Musings from a Broken Heart

By Willem Schutte

Thank you to everyone who participated in this project.
You are all golden.

 

Special thanks to Elna Fourie for the photography.

 

Table of Contents

  1. A Tale Of You And Me

  2. Locked

  3. Dear Narcissus Boy

  4. Against The Headwind

  5. I Stand And Watch

  6. Dark Skies

  7. The Hardest Thing

  8. Emotional Rape

  9. Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking

  10. Again

  11. Crashlanding

  12. Yours Eternally

  13. Tired

  14. The Cracks Appear

  15. Wishing Amidst The Fear

  16. the man who never was

  17. After All

  18. Broken Boy Doll

  19. Empty Hallways

  20. Closing The Door

  21. The Dark

  22. All Undone

  23. By The Way…

  24. My Best Attempt

  25. How Dare You?

  26. The End Of Our Season

  27. I'm Not

  28. Fake

  29. Lost To Me

  30. Dancing In The Dark

  31. Fact

  32. Given Up

  33. Going Under

  34. The Fallen Fool

  35. A Costly Affair

  36. Better To Break

  37. Dreaming In The Dark

  38. After The Storm

  39. Waiting

  40. Breaking

  41. Used To

  42. Once Too Many

  43. Your Flaw

  44. unto myself i pray

  45. A Note

  46. A Thought

  47. Afraid To Fly

  48. Cold

  49. Blame Me

  50. Demon’s Song

  51. With A Full Cup Of Coffee

  52. Wrong Again?

  53. Apparent Disregard

  54. Charmed Retribution

  55. I Tried

  56. Flying Too High

  57. Tainted

  58. Into Dust

  59. In This Heart

  60. Puppetry

  61. Not Anymore

  62. Our World

  63. No Going Down

  64. Stuck In A Moment

  65. Stasis

  66. Where Is The Boy?

  67. A Letter From A Fool

  68. Another Domestic

  69. Basking In The Afterglow

  70. Controlled

  71. Did You?

  72. Someone Else's War

  73. In Flagrante Delicto

  74. My Stupidity

  75. Mockingbird

  76. Martyrdom

  77. Resurgence

  78. Shoreline

  79. Blamed

  80. How?

  81. THIS

  82. When You're Wrong

  83. My Worth

  84. Back

  85. The Sacrificed Fledgling

  86. Walk Away

  87. A Reverie

  88. An Open Heart

  89. Redefined

  90. Moving On

* * * *

A Tale Of You And Me

There are dragons adrift

In the ether of this realm

This so-called chaos

Has become the norm to me

As the colours swirl and swirl—

There are devils in the dark

Whispering our names

We were toy soldiers

In a silly, silly game

Called life—

Called love—

Called everything else

But what it was to be

Which was the tale

Of broken hearts

A tale of you and me

* * * *

Locked

The things that stay unwritten

Are the things that hurt the most

The words that remain unspoken

Speak of things I can't let go

And the times when I'm quiet

The only truth I find

Is the fact I'm the reason

For these barriers deep inside

And I wonder why I'm broken

When it's plain for all to see

The doors remain locked

Because I threw away the key

* * * *

Dear Narcissus Boy

You're the mirror image of Narcissus

And with each ripple

I believed that you did change

But when the water's silent

It seems you're still the same

Still in love with just one man

And that man was never me

* * * *

Against The Headwind

I am all I can be

Even though it's not what you see

And I'm flying on broken wings

Trying to find my way

Back to your skies

Fighting the thunder

And the unfair lies

I told myself

To justify my folly

I don't want to lose you

And I wish I was already there

To make it better

To show you how much I care

So here I am

Flying on broken wings

Against the headwind

Hoping

* * * *

I Stand And Watch

I stand and watch amidst the wailing

I stand and watch with drawn form

A remnant of the man I once was

Oh how the truth can break you

But in this truth I found my freedom

By truly seeing you

I am shocked at how cruel you are

I am repulsed at who you have become

How did you lose yourself so?

You are far from the man I once loved

Far from the man I thought I knew

So—here I stand

In sadness

Here I still stand and watch amidst the wailing

Disappointed

Disillusioned

Discontent

* * * *

Dark Skies

I took a walk in the clouds

And all I found was thunder

The promises of perfect beauty

Were lies and twisted truths

Designed to make me wonder

And there was nothing I could do

As the echoes ran right through me

But to follow those distant drums

Bewitched by their fury

I glimpsed the setting of my sun

And I couldn't help but fall apart

As I listened to the beat of my broken heart

 

All I found was thunder

* * * *

The Hardest Thing

I sit here and feel your stare

Slicing through my very being

But I dare not look up

Too scared of what I'll see

 

Afraid you hate me

And I don't want to know

You said you don't love me

You told me to let go

 

And that may be the hardest thing

I've ever been asked to do

It's also the most painful thing

Because it came from you

 

Clearly I have no choice

But to bring us to an end

Yet what I cannot fathom

Is why you won't be my friend

* * * *

Emotional Rape

Your sincerity broke me

You felt better

But foremost

You felt sorry

You took your time

To hate me

To break me

Your own sweet time

Was months

To admit

You don't love me

Your own fucking time

Cause it suited you

You never once realised

The consequences I'll bear

Will be a heart bled out

A heart of stone

That will leave me


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