Frailty, Thy Name is Man & Other Stories
By Raja Sharma
Copyright@2011Raja Sharma
Smashwords Edition
Chapter 1: Frailty, Thy Name is Man
I was pleasantly surprised to see my elder sister come in. It had never happened before, I mean, she had never visited us without prior information so that we could make all the necessary arrangements. We had to arrange all those things which she was habitual to. However, her arrival always brought joy to the house. With my tea cup still in my hand, I stood up.
“Sister! How come, without any information?” my voice had surprise and joy.
Charu touched her feet and waited for her blessings. She was happy to see the elder sister. I called Nanhi and Nitu, “Come here children, your toys have arrived!”
“Stop Nandu, don’t tell them anything about toys. This time I forgot to bring toys for them and I have not brought sweets for you,” the elder sister said in a very serious tone of voice.
“Sister, now I believe that you have become an old woman. This is the first time you have forgotten to bring sweets for me in all these years,” I laughed and began to wait for her response.
Contrary to my expectation of getting an equally jocular answer, there were tears in her eyes. She began with much effort, as if her voice was suffocated, “Nandu, is it a crime to be old?”
I felt as if I had been hit hard on my head with something heavy. I had never heard such words from my sister’s mouth. I began to stare at her. Charu moved towards the elder sister. Charu did not speak much but she worked very hard.
She said, “Sister, I will go out and help them in unloading your luggage from the car.”
“This time I have come by a taxi. The driver has already unloaded the luggage in the yard outside,” said the sister and silenced.
Before she could speak further, I began, “Sister, you seem to be talking in riddles today? What is the matter?”
She neither answered nor looked in my direction but I guessed that she was trying to hide her eyes.
“Charu, bring me a cup of tea.”
Charu felt relieved and she began to walk towards the kitchen. I knew that my elder sister loved me more than Charu. The sister looked towards me. I noticed that there was something missing in her eyes, yes, it was the twinkle which was so typical of her. There were dark circles under her eyes.
She looked in my eyes and said, “Nandu, you have been to America, how did you like America?”
“Oh, now I see, so you are going to America. Then what is there to worry about? Rajiv is there. We will see you off from here.”
“It seems now I will have to go there,” she took a deep breath.
I was getting annoyed because she was a kind of beating about the bush and not disclosing what she had in her mind.
“Has Rajiv sent you the ticket?”
“No, why should he send me a ticket? He knows that I won’t be happy away from my husband. Why would he call me there?” said the sister.
“Then, what is the other reason?”
“Don’t worry about ticket and just tell me about America.”
Her voice and eagerness aroused millions of suspicions in my mind. I felt there was something wrong and she was helpless.
When Rajiv was to go to America, she was asking the same questions. I did not understand why she was behaving like that.
Our elder sister began to live with us. She got my brother-in-law’s letters almost every day. We used to think that she would tell us to get a ticket booked for her any day. With every letter, she began to appear gloomier. Before this visit, she had never stayed with us for so many days. I wanted to know everything but she was not telling anything.
Finally, that day arrived. When I returned from the office, I found her sitting in the veranda. In her lap there was that familiar blue letter. I paused in my advancement towards her. Her face was expressionless as if a sudden storm had left her stunned. I rallied courage and said, “What happened, sister?”
“Come sit here. I wished that you should come home before the arrival of Charu. I don’t want that my grief should touch you but now I can’t hold anything back,” she spoke as if every word had escaped from the prison of her heart.
“Come on, sister, and tell me everything. I am getting worried.”
“How should I begin? You know that I was very happy there. Your brother-in-law, Rajesh, and my daughter Ruchika and son Rajiv, and every other thing in that house were just fantastic. Ruchika got married and Rajiv insisted on going to America. Rajesh had started a new business for Rajiv but when he went to America the responsibility of that new business fell on the shoulders of your brother-in-law. He has a magical touch because whatever he touches turns into gold. The business began to flourish. He began to be busier and travelling became inevitable. I was lost in my household and he was busy in his business assignments.
That day when he came home, nothing seemed to be unusual. He requested me to bring a cup of tea.
Having taken a sip of tea he said to me, “Chanda, I think you should also go to America and stay there for one year.”
“Then who will look after my house?” I laughed and said.
“What is there in this house? Children are away and only servants and goods are there in the house,” he said.
“I wanted to tell him that he was the most important person because of whom that house was home but I resisted myself,” she stopped.
I realized that my sister was really disturbed but I did not know what it was. She paused for a while and then resumed, “I told Rajiv that I did not want anything from that house because our children are married and they can take everything if they want?”
Rajesh’s face began to shine and he said, “Chanda you have made me triumphant.”
I was constantly looking at my sister.
She said, “I wanted to know why he was trying to send me to America. We had spent twenty five years together and those were really happy years. Then he told me to come here to meet you. He said that he would write to me every day.”
The sister tried to stop her tears but she failed, “He has not concealed and written everything to me today. He has written that he is in love with a woman and he can’t leave her. He wants to spend rest of his life with that woman. I have written to him that he can keep that woman in our house and I won’t say a single word. I have requested him not to alienate me but, I think, that woman is not ready. She says that she won’t be happy to see my sad face every day in that house. Now I have to spend one year away from my husband so that the condition of the divorce could be met. He wants to give me one million in cash and a house. He is trying to lure me with all that, Nandu. He wants me to relieve him.”
I was shocked and I rushed to her to console her.
She could not control her emotions and she began to weep like a child. However I tried to assist her in that crisis with my brotherly embrace, she was not helped. I realized that the emotions she was feeling were really intolerable. I made an effort and began,” Sister, please control yourself. We will find a way out. Please don’t weep.”
The following twenty minutes went without any exchange of words or emotions.
I began to think about my childhood. How happy we used to be when our elder sister used to come to meet us! She used to be loaded with gifts and toys. Her visits used to brin45454545g life to our house. She was as beautiful as a fresh flower and her happy voice rang in all the rooms in our house. She would wear the most expensive of the dresses and drive a beautiful pink Sedan that had been gifted to her by Rajesh, my brother-in-law.
Suddenly, we realized that Charu was coming. She hurriedly wiped her tears and composed herself. At first she wanted to hide it from Charu but she suddenly changed her mind and told Charu everything, without missing anything. Charu was thunderstruck and her mouth remained wide open for a long while.
After that day, we began to live like actors in the house and we performed our duties as if we had been given the scripts which were actually not written for us. At least once in a day, Charu would say, “Men are never faithful.”
One morning, our sister called us and said, “I will not go to America and I don’t want to live here.”
“Why? I am your brother and I can take care of you?”
“I don’t want one million and that house from him.”
“Sister, you are disturbed. You can’t behave like that.”
She began to act strangely after that. We did not know how to help her. Three months passed in this way.
One morning, a telegram arrived. The news was shocking. My brother-in-law, Rajesh, and the woman he had been living with had died in a car accident. I did not hide anything and informed my sister.
My brother-in-law had left all his property in her name but she did not care about it. She began to cry loudly and she said, “I don’t want his money and property. I want my twenty five years back. Are those years of love worth only this much?”
“Sister, control yourself. You have your son and your daughter. You should go to America,” I said.
“Nandu, they are there because of him. He is no more and I don’t think there is anything left for me in this world. I never gave him any moment in those twenty five years which could anger him. Why did he do this to me? No, Nandu, I don’t want anything.”
She fell unconscious on to the ground. She went into coma and now it has been six years. They are talking about euthanasia but how I can do this to her. She is my elder sister, my loving elder sister. How can I allow them to kill my sister? I think I am ashamed of being a man!
Chapter 2: Stepping the Stones of Life
“What are you looking at?”
“Your eyes…”
“What is so special in my eyes?”
“Your eyes give me life, a new meaning to everything…”
“And what about other things?”
“What other things?”
“I mean, how long do we have to hide ourselves from the eyes of the people?”
“Isn’t it enough that we love each other? Why do you want to disclose it to people?”
“A girl wants to get married and have her own little world. I want to marry you and give birth to your children,” she said very seriously and this change of tone was enough to pull his serious attention.
“I am looking for a flat near my office. We will be married in a month or two,” he tried to convince her.
Raman put his pen down and called Gita. Ten married years had passed and so many things had changed in their lives. They had two sons, Jolly and Sony, four and two years old respectively.
Raman remembered how much proximity there was between them in the first two years of their marriage. They would not and could not be away from each other for even a second. If he were reading newspaper, she would come and sit by him and distract him and he would not mind, instead, he would throw the paper away and embrace her tightly. If she were in the kitchen, he would enter the kitchen on one or the other pretence to be close to her. He would help her in cutting vegetables, washing and cleaning rice, cooking dishes, and so on. In those two years he had hardly written any story which was worth publishing. Since he had a permanent government job, besides his income from the already published books written by him, there was no financial problem in the household.
He remembered their bedroom was their little world and so much so that even the sound of the doorbell was intolerable, however important the visitor might be. They were really happy together.
Then came their first child and after two years the second. Raman began to drift away from her, so she felt or so she knew for sure. She began to be more involved with her children and Raman felt a little alienated and forgotten.
“Leave your newspaper and come here!”
“Why? What happened?”
“I am busy with children; switch off the gas in the kitchen!”
He would perform the desired task silently.
“Can’t you come and sit here with me?”
“You have your children with you?”
“They are asleep. All right, I am coming there…”
“I am busy writing something. Please don’t disturb me…”
“It has been more than three months…don’t you feel like it anymore?”
“There are other important works.”
“Am I not important?”
“No, Gita, you don’t understand. I mean I have to complete this book. You are always with me and my love has not lessened in any way,” he tried to convince her.
In the first two years things were quite romantic and beautiful.
“No, you can’t wear this shirt with these trousers!”
“Why? What is wrong with this shirt?”
“The colour does not match. And the shirt is not ironed properly…”
Now the scene is quite different.
“Where are my shirts?”
“They are in the washing machine.”
“What should I wear today?”
“You can wear the same shirt for two days, can’t you?”
“But this one is soiled and wrinkled?”
“It will hide under your coat!” she shouted from the children’s room.
In those beautiful years everything was romantic.
“Don’t you want to meet other girls?” she teased him.
“You are the most beautiful girl. I have the best one then why should I look at other girls?”
“I love you, Raman,” she would cling to him life a vine entwining a plant.
“You do, my love, and so do I.”
“But…when I won’t be as beautiful…”
“You will never lose your charm, my love,” he would press her close to his bosom.
Now the scene is ridiculously unromantic and he can’t understand why and how this transformation has occurred.
“Don’t you want to look in my eyes, Raman?”
“I have to concentrate on my thoughts because I am in the midst of a story…”
“You don’t praise my beauty anymore?”
“Gita, grow up, things keep on changing in life and nothing remains constant…”
“Is your love constant?”
“Love has transformed into something else and I can’t describe it to you,” he tried to get rid of her for the moment.
“You hardly spend any time with me nowadays. Your secretary, Mona, seems to be getting bigger share of your time, doesn’t she?”
“Gita, she is not only my secretary, but also a very good editor of stories. She is an M. A. in English Literature. She is a great help to me…”
“But she is young and beautiful, hardly twenty-two. Now you have started inviting her to our house…”
“She is my personal secretary and not the government servant so I can’t take her along to my office. Writing is my passion and after my work at the office I begin to fulfill my passion. Since I was unable to write much during last four years, there are so many incomplete stories. She is helping me with those stories…”
“Enough, she is this and she is that!” Gita was obviously angry.
How could I tell her that had she been as intelligent as Mona, I would have handed her all the responsibilities which Mona was fulfilling for me? She had not even thought of graduating because she believed, in those days, that marriage was the ultimate destination and there was nothing beyond that.
In those beautiful days, the things were different.
“Why don’t you want to study further?”
“Why should I study? You are going to be my husband, a highly qualified husband. Why should I worry about anything?” she would laugh.
“No, Gita, you can’t be so sure about the future,” he would try to make her realize that life was not as easy as she had assumed it to be.
Now, the house is turning into a place where a dedicated writer can’t survive. He needs an escape, a way out of that imposed reality which he had so happily accepted in the early years.
First it was her voice which gradually began to lose its charm for him. He began to feel happy if she did not speak.
“Why don’t you give more time to me?”
“Gita, I am always with you. What do you mean?”
“I mean, you have changed. You don’t find me attractive enough now?”
“No, you don’t understand anything.”
“I understand everything! You smile and laugh when Mona is here but when I am in front of you, there is a drastic change in your behavior!”
“New colours keep on adding to life, Gita. You are an inevitable part of my existence and I don’t have to remind either of us that we love each other…”
“But in those days you used to spend hours looking in my eyes, praising every feature of my face, uttering beautiful lines about me…”
“You are now a mother of my two sons and we have grown up together in this sweet little home of ours.”
“I don’t want to grow up! I want you to be the same Raman who used to admire me and spend hours with me!”
“But how can it be possible, Gita?”
“I can go back to college to complete my studies. After getting my degree, I would be able to help you…”
“Only degree won’t help. To be an editor of stories you have to be a prolific reader. Mona has read thousands of books and she can tell the writers just by reading the lines of their works. You won’t understand all that…”
“Why can’t I understand!” she shouted.
“Please calm down. All right, if you want to complete your studies, I will make all the necessary arrangements. You can leave the children with a baby-sitter and go to college. Are you happy now?”
That was the biggest blunder Raman had committed.
Gita began to go to college and he remained lost in the world of his stories. He did not realize how much dependent he had become on Mona. Gita would be away from home from nine to four and in her place Mona prepared tea and snacks in the house. Though they had arranged a baby-sitter, Mona spent enough time with his children. The eldest son was ready for school and Raman had already decided to send him to school after a few months.
“Raman, I am sorry, I am late today,” said Mona, rushing into the room.
“It is all right.”
“I had gone to my college to meet my old professors. Yes, Raman, I saw Gita there. She was coming out of the college canteen…”
“Yes, she is taking her studies very seriously,” said Raman.
“But there was….”
He lifted his eyes from his computer and looked questioningly at her.
She shifted her eyes in other direction.
“Yes, you were saying something, Mona?”
“No, nothing special…”
“No, Mona, there is something which you want to tell me…”
“She was with a young man, while coming out of the canteen. She didn’t see me but I could tell from their demeanour that they knew each other very well,” she said very timidly.
“Must have been an old acquaintance…” Raman did not want to continue the conversation.
He gave some papers to Mona and she got busy after that.
While she was reading those papers, Raman stealthy looked at her face. She was a very beautiful girl. Her wisdom and sense of understanding the world added to her grace. She was so different from Gita. Mona spoke but only after giving a proper thought to the words she was going to speak. On the other hand, Gita spoke suddenly without any prior hint or idea what she was going to say. Her manners did not present any kind of decency and her questions were mostly without any logical base. She was a woman driven by her womanhood and physicality while Mona was a woman who was driven by demureness, sensibility, grace of manners, and a very deep understanding of the life and world.
“Shall I prepare tea for you, Raman?” she kept the papers down and gave him a very pleasant smile.
“Yes, please…” he returned the smile.
He realized that his shy smile did not go unnoticed and Mona had read the expressions on his face.
At about four, Gita entered the house.
“Is she still here?”
“Yes, she is in the kitchen, preparing tea for me,” he lifted his eyes from the computer monitor.
“I will go and see,” Gita placed her shoulder bag on the sofa and rushed towards the kitchen as if she were afraid that someone else was in the process of endeavouring to dethrone her from her kingdom.
In the following few months, Raman was sure that Gita was trying to compete with Mona. She began to dress like the unmarried girls, changed her hairstyle, and began to use the words which are frequently used in the academic circle and less frequently in the social circle.
On the other hand, Raman was pleasantly surprised to see all those changes in his wife. Once again, she began to attract her. However, there was a difference in her manners in bed. While making love to her, he realized that she was merely performing her wifely duty and not enjoying the act. He thought that she was tired after her college. There were no other thoughts in his mind.
The conversation between Raman and Mona had begun to touch new dimensions and very often they talked about relationships, love, marriage, and separations. She was a highly intelligent girl and Raman was often defeated after a light argument. He did not mind it, rather, he felt delighted that he was defeated by such a beautiful and intelligent girl.
He was often disturbed by one particular thought which concerned his children. Of late he had noticed that Gita had begun to neglect their sons. He felt as if they were like a burden on her and she performed her motherly duties more out of compulsion and less because she loved them. He noticed that she spent hours in front of the mirror, changed dresses frequently, bought the latest of the designs and wore expensive perfumes. She had already dyed her hair brown with a few golden streaks in between. No one could guess that she was the mother of two sons and she had been married for ten years.
Raman was sure that those appealing transformations were meant to attract him. Little did he know that he was absolutely wrong and the target of those appealing changes in his wife was an unseen professor from the college where she was studying.
That evening everything began to make sense when Gita didn’t come back home. She phoned an informed him that she was out of station with her college mates. According to her, they were visiting a hill station and she would be back after three days. Actually, according to her, the programme was so sudden that she did not get time to inform him.
Mona was equally surprised when she heard about it.
“She can’t be so irresponsible!” she tried to give strength to Raman.
“I can’t even imagine that…”