Poems To Make You… Laugh, Think, Explore & Believe
By Mark C Bird
Copyright 2011 Mark C Bird
Smashwords Edition
Discover other titles by Mark C Bird at Smashwords.com:
The Spacebook S.K.R.E.A.M Team
The Moonstaliens: Mission Milk!
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LAUGH
THINK
EXPLORE
BELIEVE
Give Your Brain A Tickle…
Laughing My Head Off
I laughed so much,
my head fell off
and bounced along the road
I chased it,
headless, best I could
for fear it might explode
I spun and pinballed
down the street
I neck-butted a tree
Onlookers yelled, “Your
off your head!”
I said, “No it’s off me.”
Then suddenly
almighty pain
as something bit my toes
I trapped the creature
at my feet
and felt my lips and nose
I grabbed my
giggling cranium
(Not easy with no brain)
Then gagged its
shrieker with my hand
and screwed it on again
But something still
felt very wrong
I passed a windowpane
And saw my head on back
to front
Then laughed it off again
Back To School
“Get up Sue - it’s
back to school.
New term starts today.
You’ve shiny
shoes,
your pens are new,
your friends are on their way.”
“I’m staying in
bed - I hate that place.
They bully me and swear.
They call me
geek,
say I'm a freak
and laugh at what I wear.”
Get in the car, I’ll
take you Sue,
or else you will be late.
I’ve packed your
lunch,
your hair is bunched.
You'll see your best mate Kate.”
“I've told you
Mum, a million times!
She left our school last term.
Now let me
out,
I’ll scream and shout.
Dumb rules just make me squirm.”
“Shush now dear -
we’re at the gate.
The kids will point and stare.
Tongues
will wag,
now grab your bag -
the deputy's over there.”
He’s the worst -
he picks on me.
He says my brain’s a bean.
He calls me
fat,
and things like that.
Says I’m a drama queen.”
“Sue, he’s
coming over now.
Behave yourself my dear.
Get out the boot!
My
gosh he's cute.
Stop crying - he might hear!”
“I haven't done my
homework Mum.
Sir will go insane.
Please write a note,
and
say a goat,
devoured it in Spain.”
“Right that’s it
- I’ve had enough.
Get in that playground do.
Now hide your
tongue,
you must be strong.
You are the head now Sue!”
Aunt Gladys
I once saw a cloud
floating by in the sky
It looked just like my Aunty Glad
But we
haven’t seen Aunty Glad in a while
Not since she moved in with
my dad
I pointed the cloud
out to Mummy who screamed
and growled before mopping her brow
“If
that was your mean Aunty Gladys it should
be fat in the shape of a
cow!”
You’re Insane
Laugh with a zombie,
laugh with an ape
Laugh with a budgerigar
Laugh with a man in
love with a grape
Laugh with a boy in a bra
Laugh with a granny
chasing a bone
Laugh with a chicken chow mein
But never, not
ever, laugh when alone
Or people will say you’re insane
*(As I sit alone and
write this dumb rhyme
I’m laughing out loud like a lime)
I Love School
Tom Hardnut’s
English Journal.
Written on Sunday, yesterday...
I love school like a
kick in the shins
I love school like a zit on my skin
I love school like a
knee in my bits
I love school like a teacher who spits
I love school like a
punch in the nose
I love school like old charity clothes